Why are some Filipinas like that?

[vbkelly]

Thanks Bing.

cheers iain

[David House]

There is a thriving local Filipino community where we live. An informal self help network based on gossip, long phone calls and occasional parties. You know the type! When Filipinos eat strange food, sing strange songs and only drink coke. The parties are always open house so any new Filipino who is spotted around town is invited along. In fact my wife makes a point of always speaking to every Filipino she sees, and if they are new in town she invites them around and gets them into the network. However there is plenty of what they call "back fighting" and petty jealousies. Heaps of rumours about who has done what to whom, or with whom! I think though that is much more about being female than being Filipino. I also sense a degree of separation between those here to work and remit and those who are married. The workers, mostly nurses and carers, are often too busy and tired, to attend. In fact they are frequently almost invisible off duty, because they work so much!

[angel1231]

There is a thriving local Filipino community where we live. An informal self help network based on gossip, long phone calls and occasional parties. You know the type! When Filipinos eat strange food, sing strange songs and only drink coke. The parties are always open house so any new Filipino who is spotted around town is invited along. In fact my wife makes a point of always speaking to every Filipino she sees, and if they are new in town she invites them around and gets them into the network. However there is plenty of what they call "back fighting" and petty jealousies. Heaps of rumours about who has done what to whom, or with whom! I think though that is much more about being female than being Filipino. I also sense a degree of separation between those here to work and remit and those who are married. The workers, mostly nurses and carers, are often too busy and tired, to attend. In fact they are frequently almost invisible off duty, because they work so much!

MY HUSBAND AND I ALWAYS HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS OF WHAT FILIPINA LIKE HE THINKS THEY ALL WANT U TO BE FRIENDLY WITH THEM BUT AS WHAT U SAID THEY JUST EAT U FROM BEHIND ....I DO LIKE MEETING FILIPINA BUT AFYTER MEETING HERE FEW TIMES ALL UR CONVERSATION WILL TURN TO ..ABOUT OH JUST SEND SOME MONEY TODAY AND ITS ONLY LIKE THIS ...OR THAT..OR I JUST SEND SOME MONEY TO PAY THE PROPERTY I JUST BOUGTH ...OR HOW IS UR HUSBAND IS HE GIVING U ENOUGH MONEY ...OHHHHHHHH I JUST CANT PUT UP ALL THIS ....ALL U TALK ABOUT IS JUST NONSENSE AND GIVING U ALL THIS JUST TO SEE IF U GOT MORE THAN HERS.....SAD SAD SAD SAD...NOT GOOD FOR THE BRAIN...AND HEART IT WILL GIVE U A HEART ATTACK AFTER ....

ANYWAY IM NOT SAYING ALL OF THE FILIPINAS ARE LIKE THAT WHAT IM SAYING IS 90 PERCENT OF IT AND ONLY 10 % JUST WONDERING AROUND THE WORLD....NO HEARTFEELING KABABAYANS JUST SHARING MY EXPERIENCE.....

[raindear26]

MY HUSBAND AND I ALWAYS HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS OF WHAT FILIPINA LIKE HE THINKS THEY ALL WANT U TO BE FRIENDLY WITH THEM BUT AS WHAT U SAID THEY JUST EAT U FROM BEHIND ....I DO LIKE MEETING FILIPINA BUT AFYTER MEETING HERE FEW TIMES ALL UR CONVERSATION WILL TURN TO ..ABOUT OH JUST SEND SOME MONEY TODAY AND ITS ONLY LIKE THIS ...OR THAT..OR I JUST SEND SOME MONEY TO PAY THE PROPERTY I JUST BOUGTH ...OR HOW IS UR HUSBAND IS HE GIVING U ENOUGH MONEY ...OHHHHHHHH I JUST CANT PUT UP ALL THIS ....ALL U TALK ABOUT IS JUST NONSENSE AND GIVING U ALL THIS JUST TO SEE IF U GOT MORE THAN HERS.....SAD SAD SAD SAD...NOT GOOD FOR THE BRAIN...AND HEART IT WILL GIVE U A HEART ATTACK AFTER ....

ANYWAY IM NOT SAYING ALL OF THE FILIPINAS ARE LIKE THAT WHAT IM SAYING IS 90 PERCENT OF IT AND ONLY 10 % JUST WONDERING AROUND THE WORLD....NO HEARTFEELING KABABAYANS JUST SHARING MY EXPERIENCE.....

same here... that's why here in UK i only have 1 Filipina friend and she's like my mother as well...

[Cheryl Tyndall]

Its the same here in Essex. OMG! Whenever i see pinay looking women, i also say hi. If she ignores me, i will touch her shoulder and look straight to her eyes, smiling, and ask " are you from the Philippines?" Then she can't ignore me anymore.. and i give her an idea at the same time..

[charlwill]

Its the same here in Essex. OMG! Whenever i see pinay looking women, i also say hi. If she ignores me, i will touch her shoulder and look straight to her eyes, smiling, and ask " are you from the Philippines?" Then she can't ignore me anymore.. and i give her an idea at the same time..

Not only in Essex!! but everywhere, which ever part of the world. It's a GLOBAL sickness of filipinas. Sad, sad, sad.... but it's true.

[andypaul]

Not only in Essex!! but everywhere, which ever part of the world. It's a GLOBAL sickness of filipinas. Sad, sad, sad.... but it's true.

Not just Phills.

I would not chat to someone just because they are white or a brit. But plenty try to do to me when im with my family and friends in phill or elsewhere italy for example when visting the wifes mum.

Unless they needed assitance in anyway, please let me spend quality time with my Family and friends.

[gWaPito]

Not just Phills.

I would not chat to someone just because they are white or a brit. But plenty try to do to me when im with my family and friends in phill or elsewhere italy for example when visting the wifes mum.

Unless they needed assitance in anyway, please let me spend quality time with my Family and friends.

Could be only being polite?

[andypaul]

Could be only being polite?

Indeed they could and i would always greet someone who greets me and often i greet or smile at someone who doesnt.

Its the people who with lots of others about single you out as your a brit and have to chat for that single fact i dont get. All that we Brits/english speakers/westerners should stick together stuff.

Possibly in Phill if you not been to the UK for a long time you wanna catch up with whats happening. But not when for example its a fellow weekender in Italy, why dont they try to practise their italian on some of the older people for example who have time to chat or the shopkeepers who i find are very chatty in italy if you speak to them in even a little italian mixed with english

Seen it in Phill in say one of the malls im there minding my own business and chatting away in my own unique brand of taglish or even english because many of the wifes friends and younger family members want to practise their english.
Once a brit guy saw me and came over as the wife was not to well and he needed directions to a pharmacy, of course the Wife and I went out of our way to help infact went with them like we all would.

But others will come up and a few have been quite offensive in the way they speak about the locals or local way of doing things
Why didn't they tell all the locals this they had to walk past to speak to me

[KeithD]

GRUMPY FORUM MEMBER AWARD 2008

ANDY

[andypaul]

GRUMPY FORUM MEMBER AWARD 2008

ANDY

Thank you im touched

Far happier meeting people regardless of their background rather than only speaking to be just like me (that would be scary)
Pre meeting my Wife and going Phil. I had far more non white indigeous friends and associates than people from a similar background so never felt only White middle class brits were the only people i could speak to comfortably.

But others are different to me and wish to stay among their own, thats their choice and should be respected also i feel.

[kimmi]

GRUMPY FORUM MEMBER AWARD 2008

ANDY

[Pepe n Pilar]

Because i'm so eager to meet filipinas here so everytime i go to the town center and happen to see a pinay i say "hi are u a filipina?" Then there's conversation. One time i did this and i met lady A we exchanged contact numbers. After a week i met ladyB wherein i also did the first move and so we had a small talk. During the conversation she asked me if i already have filipina friends and i said she is the 2nd since i just arrived here. I said i only met one that is ladyA, her face can't be described and started talking abt etc and etc. I didn't know that these 2 are formerly friends and they belong to separate groups now. After a couple of days, Lady A texted and just said hello and how am i doing and said if she can get my homeline no. and so i gave it. During the conversation she also asked the same question if i already have friends and, i answered the same. Lady A asked so many personal questions that is not supposed to be done to a person whom she had met only once like the job of my hubby, hw many bedrooms does my house has etc etc. The ffg week i met ladyB. While walking we met ladyC and i was introduced by lady B to her. Lady C said "ah yes i have heard your name already, you met Miss X?" I said no, i don't know her. Maybe it was Lady A who told her friends that she had met a new filipina last week.
Then Lady B invited me to her house for lunch which she said is very near and just a walking distance and so i went. She had shown me her dresses, talk abt material things bought by her husband and talked abt her fellow pinay friends. She also mentioned abt remittances they sent to their families and are comparing the amounts. I just listened. Maybe these are some of the reasons why some filipinas doesn't want or not eager to meet fellow filipinas anymore. Now when i see filipinas i just look at them and thought of my experience. My eagerness was converted to nevermind.......

[vbkelly]

Because i'm so eager to meet filipinas here so everytime i went to the town center and happen to see a pinay i say "hi are u a filipina?" Then there's conversation. One time i did this and i met lady A we exchanged contact numbers. After a week i met ladyB wherein i also did the first move and so we had a small talk. During the conversation she asked me if i already have filipina friends and i said she is the 2nd since i just arrived here. I said i only met one that is ladyA, her face can't be described and started talking abt etc and etc. I didn't know that these 2 are formerly friends and they belong to separate groups now. After a couple of days, Lady A texted and just said hello and how am i doing and said if she can get my homeline and so i gave it. During the conversation she also asked the same question if i alfready have friends and and i answered the same. Lady A asked so many personal questions that is not supposed to be done to a person whom she had met only once like the job of my hubby, hw many bedrooms does my house has etc etc. The ffg week i met ladyB. While walking we met ladyC and i was introduced by lady B to her. Lady C said "ah yes i have heard your name already, you met Miss X?" I said no, i don't know her. Maybe it was Lady A who told her friends that she had met a new filipina last week.
Then Lady B invited me to her house for lunch which she said is very near and just a walking distance and so i went. She had shown me her dresses, talk abt material things bought by her husband and talked abt her fellow pinay friends. She also mentioned abt remittances they sent to their families and are comparing the amounts. I just listened. Maybe these are some of the reasons why some filipinas doesn't want or not eager to meet fellow filipinas anymore. Now when i see filipinas i just look at them and thought of my experience. My eagerness was converted to nevermind.......

yes you right sis i had that experience but nevermind that kind of people MAYABANG ika nga

[telford]

any way, we didnt go in UK to met filipinas...we're here for our husband and to build a happy family! so,to hell those filipina that are fake,plastic and arte!(oooppsss...)if we can find a nice filipina that can be our close friend, then thats a bonus!

[Le'em]

Hi, yeah im new here.. and sad to hear all the stories...and i experienced that also once when i and my fiance went to mall to shop for my staff, wow i saw one Pinay with her hubby, her hubby smiled to me but guess what?this girl is trying to look at me like a DRAGON and when i say HI to her she just deadma to the max, as in.... you know.... like WHO ARE YOU???? but anyway she is not happy im sure coz shes not friendly, but coz shes Pinay same as me/us....she better be happy to see me, but what she did was really disgusting coz i even waved to her like I was so happy to see her in this very far away like thousand miles to our homeland and she treated me like that.........im so embarrased that time but its okay...

at home im so sad and feel guilty to what happen and my fiance says, dont worry you can meet someone nice here.....theyre were many here who will be as good as you....

Pinays known to be polite, approachable and nice person inside and out but HELOOOOO whats wrong with them? PWERKI nauna sila dito.. ganoon nalang kung i-treat ka.....Im so sad to know that...theyre like ruining the FILIPINO image.....

funny coz some says they dont want to stay longer in phils anymore as in very HOT there.....oh my its lovely in phils, very and i love being a filipina....

But im so happy theyre were so many nice people in this forum.....Cheers to all...thanks to Sephen, itsme_iye and terrilicious......theyre very nice....

Best wishes to itsme_iye this coming saturday for their wedding....CONGRATULATIONS!!!

God Bless to all of us here

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Le'em thanks..... You're so nice too.... Thanks i have met some very nice people in here.

[Mrs.JMajor]

Hi Le'em thanks..... You're so nice too.... Thanks i have met some very nice people in here.

Hi She,long time no chat...Good luck on your wedding Best wishes

[Andy]

As others have mentioned, this attitude does occasionally happen & for various reasons. My wife has also noticed an attitude by some Filipina nurses when they see us together, or when she talks to them on her own and mentions that she's married to an Englishman. It's as if their face says "I got here through hard work, you're here because you found yourself a foreigner". If she gets talking to a Filipino when we're shopping she likes to introduce me so that another stereotype of the Westerner being over 50 years older than the wife is proved wrong – I'm only 4 years older than Rose!!!

I sometime see similar negative expressions on people's faces when I say that my wife is from the Philippines. They assume that I "bought" her and that she was only after my passport. A work colleague actually said that to my face when I said that I getting married to a Filipina in the Philippines in 2002.

There are bigots in all cultures and countries.

They also may be TNT (tago ng tago) or an illegal immigrant so they know to keep a low profile and not get too close to anyone especially other Filipinos.

My wife was also advised by her Filipina friend who has lived in the UK since the 1980s not to get too close to other Filipinos as they have a crab mentality – always snapping at each other and/or gossiping. In fact, my sister in law who hopes to come to the UK as a student/caregiver was told this last week at the company’s the orientation session.

Andy
Surrey, UK

[Pepe n Pilar]

Thanks jedc143.... yes long time no chat..... HOw about you? How about your annulment? Hope everything is done by this time......

[sharon]

Im glad here where I live so far I have no problem with other Filipinos infact we always have gatherings at least twice a week. We always have dinner together and playing Bingo or singing karaokes just for fun. We have unity here we help/support each other, such as if someone needs babystting or help in school runs. Our group which consist of more than 10 families, some are both Filipinos couples some are British-Filipina couples. Some nurses who work in the hospital, some are businessmen/women, some are just a plain housewives and some are factory workers. I have some Filipina friends which Im glad that we get on well and we seems have same interest and hobbies such as cooking, gardening and love keeping ourselves fits so we all go out for a walk or run and we always have a great fun.
I guess, if we just always looking at the good side of other people and not on the bad side or weaknesses eventually friendships will grow and will be stronger.

[allyn]

well, all the things you said here are true...
there are filipina who is so snubish where ever you go...
but i got lucky coz i met real cool filipina here,in this site...
and also i met a filipina and 2 filipino who are working in the hotel where im working,,,,
if i see filipino in the street, i just look at them, if they smile at me,..then i smile back, but if they dont..well no harm done...

[Piamed]

I sometime see similar negative expressions on people's faces when I say that my wife is from the Philippines. They assume that I "bought" her and that she was only after my passport. A work colleague actually said that to my face when I said that I getting married to a Filipina in the Philippines in 2002.

I had a woman say that to me a while ago. I cant recall who it was but it was someone really stupid. She caught me by surprise but I still manged a facial expression that caused her to apologise immediately.

There are bigots in all cultures and countries.

They also may be TNT (tago ng tago) or an illegal immigrant so they know to keep a low profile and not get too close to anyone especially other Filipinos.

My wife was also advised by her Filipina friend who has lived in the UK since the 1980s not to get too close to other Filipinos as they have a crab mentality – always snapping at each other and/or gossiping. In fact, my sister in law who hopes to come to the UK as a student/caregiver was told this last week at the company’s the orientation session.

Andy
Surrey, UK

The crab mentality is an awful feature that impacts so many people.

Many South Asians, most notably Indians, are known to lift one among them to a greater height and then that person will lower a ladder so that others can ascend to the same height.

There are many groups of people, that acknowledge that it is more common for them to systematically pull anyone down that is attempting to improve themselves or indeed just get on with their lives.

[ash_joy2008]

good luck...my friend!!!

[jane82]

I'm always trying to find ways to talk to pinoy when I come across them. In airports i usually try 'saan ang CR' (where is the toilet) as an ice breaker. T

Good conversation starter.

maybe it's just the wrong time & wrong place

i'm always pinoy spotting, lots where i live, 2 families live only a few houses a way from us, each time we go past their house and thier in the garden, i keep saying to wife, to go and say hello to them, she will not , and they never say anything to her , stalemate

A possible reason. We also do Pinoy spotting.

well,i been here in england for nearly 2 years now
it takes me a year to find a filipina friend,yah,
ur right some filipina is not that friendly(akala
mo kung sino)but most of filipino is friendly..
dont worry u will find someone there.
goodluck to u.

True. Don't assume every Filipino or any race for this matter will treat you like this.

btw, i am pinoy and i have experienced what trends5squared has gone through and it's definitely not pleasant. i just tell me, myself and I that it's their loss .

Ditto.

Said this before and yes i know its nice to have friends with the same background and speak a common tongue. Share foods and jokes with.

But some of the truest friends have been from countries she had never heard off a few years back.

I hope actually im sure your meet Phils but don't miss out on making friends from other backgrounds. Many good friends of mine have totally different backgrounds to me and they all enrich my life.

Exactly. The first part is the reason why it's nice to have friends from our own country as well especially when we're so far away from our country of birth because we can find more things in common with each other. Having things in common may not always be the case, but it's quite likely.

im very much excited to talk to them but just always disappointed coz everytime i spoke to them first seems they wr not interested to to talk more..sometimes im wondering why...are they shy or afraid???i dont know really reasons why some like that kind.

Don't worry, there are always more to meet and greet.

Its unfortunate that they are like that. It was suggested to me a while ago that they see you as different if you are in a mixed-marriage. The other factor may be 'westernisation', where they adopt western ways of keeping to themselves - especially in the bigger cities.

Good point.

It might be a bit of a controversial thing to say on here, but from whispers I've heard, and also from scenes I have actually observed on occasion, it seems there is a kind of snobbery displayed by certain Filipinas such as some of the nurses and others, who because they got to this country through hard work and education as they would see it, they now see themselves as somehow better than those who got here simply through marriage and they don't particularly want to mix with them.

Iain.

There is definitely snobbery. When educated OFWs who goes to the U.K. distances themselves, it's probably their way of segregating themselves from other Filipinos who got married to get to the U.K. It's their blatant way of showing they think they're better than you.

: I think its best not to make friends with people like them "judgemental"...

Yeh!!

I think they get shy and they get self conscious

When you encounter a Filipina like me on the street (based on my experience), the first thing they will look at is how you are dressed. Next, they will look in your shoes, bag and accessories and then they will finally decide to look at you in your eyes. Then there will be the kind of look of 'should I make the first move or not?'.
If you smile at them, some will smile back to you (if interested), some will just ignore you and look away (as if they have not noticed you)...Like I give a ***t [/QUOTE]

I think that's just life in general. Some people are friendly and others aren't, it's the same in any country and culture. It is just a nice pleasure to meet friendly people as against the miserable ones. "When you're smiling, the whole world smiles at you...."

If they don't hear us talking in tagalog one reason which makes them hesitant to say hi it's because they think the lady is a Thai, Malaysian, Indonesian or Chinese. One lady told me she was hesitant to say hi she thought i was an Indonesian. One lady which was introduced to me by a friend in a wedding said she thought i am a Thai. So we just have to think that perhaps those are some of the reasons.

Yep I've the same problem for being mistaken for different races.

I also sense a degree of separation between those here to work and remit and those who are married. The workers, mostly nurses and carers, are often too busy and tired, to attend. In fact they are frequently almost invisible off duty, because they work so much!

Partly explains it.

As others have mentioned, this attitude does occasionally happen & for various reasons. My wife has also noticed an attitude by some Filipina nurses when they see us together, or when she talks to them on her own and mentions that she's married to an Englishman. It's as if their face says "I got here through hard work, you're here because you found yourself a foreigner". If she gets talking to a Filipino when we're shopping she likes to introduce me so that another stereotype of the Westerner being over 50 years older than the wife is proved wrong – I'm only 4 years older than Rose!!!

I sometime see similar negative expressions on people's faces when I say that my wife is from the Philippines. They assume that I "bought" her and that she was only after my passport.

There are bigots in all cultures and countries.

They also may be TNT (tago ng tago) or an illegal immigrant so they know to keep a low profile and not get too close to anyone especially other Filipinos.

My wife was also advised by her Filipina friend who has lived in the UK since the 1980s not to get too close to other Filipinos as they have a crab mentality – always snapping at each other and/or gossiping. In fact, my sister in law who hopes to come to the UK as a student/caregiver was told this last week at the company’s the orientation session.

Andy
Surrey, UK

Best answer.

[pennybarry]

well, all the things you said here are true...
there are filipina who is so snubish where ever you go...
but i got lucky coz i met real cool filipina here,in this site...
and also i met a filipina and 2 filipino who are working in the hotel where im working,,,,
if i see filipino in the street, i just look at them, if they smile at me,..then i smile back, but if they dont..well no harm done...

Same here Allyn, This morning on my way to our office, I saw a lady and she look like a filipina. She was smiling while walking towards my direction. So I smiled at her and asked her if she's a filipina. But she said I'm a Thai. I didn't change my reaction, I was impressed by her english after telling me she just arrived 3 months ago. Wow! she looks nice and friendly. I learned that she worked with computer before as SAP. I am not too familiar with SAP but she mentioned she's looking for a computer job. I told my boss about it and he said that's good! maybe someday we'll hire an asian so you'll feel more happy.
That's great ! I wish to have asian friends at work