Hello Bacolod,
I presume you are living in Bacolod City ? where are you ? I have a house and lot in Bacolod, (problem is I can't come over and have a beer with you, because I am in London right now working to pay for that house and lot)
Keith could be right, this is common not just with Filipina's but with all woman, sex is great during the courtship stage, then following marriage its fine, but gradually as with all marital relationships, the female outlook on sex changes, but not in all cases, the freqency of sexual contact in the marriage dissapears as quickly as whence it came, many men in monogamous marriages complain bitterly that sex is either fragmentary, irregular or actually non existent.
Women who have just given birth, tend to be dis-interested in sex, and the emotional period of being pregnant, having a baby, and then having a husband to contend with who naturally thinks nothing should have changed, has not taken into account the hormonal changes within the female body, he simply thinks she has gone off him, and is not up to the job anymore.
A recent survey in UK said that 85 per cent of married men were unhappy with thier marital sex lives, many of the men admitted to fantasizing about other women, some about their mates wife, others about single women at the office, others turned to internet pornography to satisfy their desire, many admitted to having an affairs, some more than once.
What most men said, was that whilst they loved thier wife very much and did want to break up the marriage through having an affair, they also said, that sex within the marriage had significantly got worse through time.
The survey revealed that the average times a week long term marital couples over 2 years had engaged in, was on average 1.5 times per week, and of this 40 per cent said, they did not have sex for up to 6 weeks or more.
We should not discount that British-Filipino or Foreigner-Filipina relationships should be any different, whilst I have yet to see anyone bold enough to do some difinitive research into the matter, we can assume that those relationships do not buck the trend, and that they in fact can be similar to the national trend.
In Bacolod's case here, the wife is simply following a national trend, shortly after giving birth, dis interested in sex, doesnt want to do anything, or get involved in outside interests.
The problem for Bacolod, is that he has already broken rule number 1, which is:
1. Never allow the parents/siblings of a girl to live with you in the Philippines.
Having parents and or siblings living in the same house as the marital couple is not a good idea, for one thing, you never seem to get any privacy, and also, your food bill can be higher than you imagined.
They will always eat communally, the good fortune of one sibling is geneally considered to be shared by all, if Bacolod as the resident foreigner in the house doesnt understand this yet, he needs to get real quite quickly, he will be expected to fund all of this, and take care of the families needs.
I can think of several cases, where families have been a major stumbling block for selecting a city to live in, in one extreme case, the foreigner-Filipina couple actually had to move some 70 miles away to get peace and quiet, and in the end, the family could not afford to take public transport to visit them.
As Keith indicated, was this young lady expecting Bacolod to take her to a life of streets paved with gold, in a foreign country, this may be the fact that her life was quite boring before, and now its worse, did you ever discuss with her where you will live.
Maybe she had high expectations, and has now had her hopes dashed by your wanting to live in Philippines with her, there are many reasons for her behaviour, most likely as others have indicated, she is clinically depressed and no amount of cajoling will help.
I know lots of people who would love to pack up here in UK and return back to Philippines to live, so its not about that, you need to investigate more and find out the root cause of her behaviour, and then try and support her by listening.
Women generally do not want a man to say, what is the problem, ok now we know what it is, we can fix it.
They want a man just to listen to them, and offer support, often these emotions are complicated and can't have ready made fixes all the time.
Best of Luck with her.
Originally Posted by ginapeterb
