Originally Posted by aposhark
Hi,
Most of the British men I have met personally have "quietly" told me that the amount of remittance sent by their respective wives is causing problems in their marriages.
I know of two couples who are having big problems because of this:
One Filipina is going to the Citizen's Advice Bureau because of the many problems brought on by the original remittance problem whilst her husband is sleeping in a different room.
Both sides of the story are:
"How can he tell me what to do with my money, I work hard for it"
and
"We are struggling to pay our bills and she still sends too much back home"
Reading posts in an American forum, it seems that this is an extremely delicate issue.
Solutions seem to vary from "don't let her send anything right from the start" to "I trust my wife's control and understanding of money and let her be the judge".
I am not married yet but would like to get a little more insight from members of this forum as to the best way to handle this issue.
Should an amount to be sent back to Phils be discussed before marriage so as not to have problems later?
I know this is an emotive subject and some whose spouse also reads and posts here may be less inclined to divulge thoughts for fear of a sharp knife or a long tampo....
just an opinion on my side i myself not married yet.. hehe
just a quick point: we (filipinas raised that husband is the provider of the family, we family oriented and generous)..hehe but i know for a fact that its different their in england a husband and wife have to work to survive unless someone is very rich.
its not important to discuss before marriage how much money to send back to phils but before marriage guy should tell his future husband background of the his finances (income and expenses) if its necessary. project probable expenses if married and living together. if wife is working already then
they can now start to have a clear balance (how much goes in and out). its a matter of proper communication and understanding.
in this case i suggest them to talk, hear each others side. possibly pay first all the bills and other expenses and savings if theres any then if extra amount is available that the husband is willing to send too to phils then go for it.
if there is none or husband not willing then its another story. to husbands if wife is working give her freedom to spend her own money not all i know but at least an amount which she can call her own might be she will send it back to phils or buy something for herself. like what aromulus reply here that he helped her wife handle her money thats a good way (i salute you for that)hehe
basically to make it short both parties really have to talk balance everything and understand each sides
its my opinion only hope it help a little..hehe i know many will post here with their own.
