Advice on relationship

[Pauldo]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepete &#064; May 14 2006, 10&#58;53 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
It wasnt meant to be personal, just that the whole thread seemed to have been shifted to the P.I.

[/b][/quote]

I&#39;d guess she spent minimum 90% of her life in the Philippines, so I guess that the Philippines has at least an inkling of a connection to the thread?

If not, why are we even discussing the girl, as it&#39;d be a problem with a stodgy stuck up English girl who was born overseas, and thus of no relevence to this forum [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif[/img]

We&#39;re just trying to give Bill some background to the Filipino psyche. (No, NOT &#39;psycho&#39; [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif[/img] )

[squareeyes]

Well thanks to everyone who wrote back with advice. S is quite cosmopolitan and modern thinking and I don&#39;t think she&#39;s too traditional in her outlook (or rather: understands and accepts that she&#39;s in a different culture). I was more curious as to whether I had committed a major faux pas by asking her out when I&#39;m a colleague. We chatted earlier today and she seems to be fine although she&#39;s giving me more quick glances than before - maybe she&#39;s a bit unsure and not saying. However, there&#39;s no way to tell what&#39;s on a Pinay&#39;s mind if she doesn&#39;t want to talk about it&#33; [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif[/img]

I would like to ask her out again, but it just seems inappropriate esp. as the only time we get to talk is at work. I guess I will just have to take this one as experience and begin elsewhere. I don&#39;t have a problem getting dates at all (I have a good job, I&#39;m attractive, sociable, funny, not a complete idiot though I&#39;m not a wimp, faithful, etc) but S seems so different to anyone else I&#39;ve ever met (and I work with folk from around the world). Real shame as we got on so well and had lots in common and I&#39;ve never felt like I could trust anyone as much as her.

Thanks again and the best to you all.

B

[squareeyes]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bill &#064; May 17 2006, 08&#58;27 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
...
(I have a good job, I&#39;m attractive, sociable, funny, not a complete idiot though I&#39;m not a wimp, faithful, etc)
[/b][/quote]

Oops - just realised that what I wrote sounds a bit arrogant&#33; Apologies if it is&#33;

[ivor&mel]

(I have a good job, I'm attractive, sociable, funny, not a complete idiot though I'm not a wimp, faithful, etc)

Oops - just realised that what I wrote sounds a bit arrogant! Apologies if it is!

Even if you had commited a faux pas, it doesn't have to be terminal? Show S your CV

[angina_pectoris]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bill &#064; May 17 2006, 08&#58;27 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Well thanks to everyone who wrote back with advice. S is quite cosmopolitan and modern thinking and I don&#39;t think she&#39;s too traditional in her outlook (or rather: understands and accepts that she&#39;s in a different culture). I was more curious as to whether I had committed a major faux pas by asking her out when I&#39;m a colleague. We chatted earlier today and she seems to be fine although she&#39;s giving me more quick glances than before - maybe she&#39;s a bit unsure and not saying. However, there&#39;s no way to tell what&#39;s on a Pinay&#39;s mind if she doesn&#39;t want to talk about it&#33; [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif[/img]

I would like to ask her out again, but it just seems inappropriate esp. as the only time we get to talk is at work. I guess I will just have to take this one as experience and begin elsewhere. I don&#39;t have a problem getting dates at all (I have a good job, I&#39;m attractive, sociable, funny, not a complete idiot though I&#39;m not a wimp, faithful, etc) but S seems so different to anyone else I&#39;ve ever met (and I work with folk from around the world). Real shame as we got on so well and had lots in common and I&#39;ve never felt like I could trust anyone as much as her.

Thanks again and the best to you all.

B
[/b][/quote]

Hi,

I’m a (married) Filipina and I have lived in the UK for nearly four years now, but like what other people were saying in this forum. No matter how long a Filipina stayed in another country she won’t forget her culture, but of course she’ll learn to adapt other culture as well.

To be frank, you’ve got to undersstand most Filipinas want to play “hard to get” (pakipot in Tagalog) sometimes “no” means “yes”. You just have to beg for her attention, make her feel like a princess… the most important woman in the world… then, suddenly stay away from her or avoid her for few months. If she started to chase you then she was just trying to play hard to get and when she realised that you are fed up and you are ready to give up then she’ll come around… if she doesn’t… then it’s obvious she only wants you as a friend.

It might work, give it a try&#33; Good luck&#33;

[squareeyes]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(angina_pectoris &#064; May 17 2006, 08&#58;58 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Hi,

I’m a (married) Filipina and I have lived in the UK for nearly four years now, but like what other people were saying in this forum. No matter how long a Filipina stayed in another country she won’t forget her culture, but of course she’ll learn to adapt other culture as well.

To be frank, you’ve got to undersstand most Filipinas want to play “hard to get” (pakipot in Tagalog) sometimes “no” means “yes”. You just have to beg for her attention, make her feel like a princess… the most important woman in the world… then, suddenly stay away from her or avoid her for few months. If she started to chase you then she was just trying to play hard to get and when she realised that you are fed up and you are ready to give up then she’ll come around… if she doesn’t… then it’s obvious she only wants you as a friend.

It might work, give it a try&#33; Good luck&#33;
[/b][/quote]

Thanks for the encouragement AP and others. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]

I had a long chat with S this afternoon but nothing serious. I really don&#39;t feel comfortable asking her out again even if it&#39;s a group &#39;event&#39;. The work situation makes things unfair to her if I persist. That&#39;s something I cannot compromise on esp because the dynamic (chemistry) is a bit different now - sometimes aloof, other times close and personal - but maybe that&#39;s me falling in love with her and seeing more than is there. I really want to believe that&#39;s it&#39;s just because she&#39;s playing hard to get (pakipot), but the truth is I&#39;m probably just wrong.

However, she&#39;s now got a job in a different part of the country - that is nothing to do with my recent approach because she&#39;s been looking for a while and decent positions in our field (medicine) are hard to come by. So she&#39;s off in a few weeks (once visa/admin arrangements are finalised). I truly wish her all the best even though (or because&#33 I know that I&#39;ve never met anyone like her in all of my life and (probably) never will again. I&#39;ve got to admit that I&#39;m really going to miss her smile, her laugh, our long chats, the way she says my name, her rich voice, etc. Sorry, just rambling. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif[/img]

Thanks though.