How to get him to appreciate me

[Bunnylove]

I've been with boyf for a year and a few months. He is lovely and I love him but we have recently been through hard times. He got freaked out and unsure if he wanted to be in a long term relationship and broke up with me on our 1 year anniversary. That was bad enough but he also ended up kissing some other girl a week later. It was all very hurtful but after bout a month he realized he DID want a relationship and with me. I took a couple of weeks but of course love him so wanted to give it another shot. The thing is...we missed our 1 yr anniversay AND valentines day. I thought he might want to take me out to make up for it. Even some flowers or a card would be nice. Mostly I want to know that he understands how hard it was for me...what I went through due to his indecision was very hard. He did initially mention doing something but had no money, THEN the minute he got money (and he doesn't have much being a student) he spent alot of it on a paintball gun! After that we were meant to go 4 dinner but I had been waiting over a month. Also I told him I would feel bad eating the last of the little money he had and it wasn't romantic. He said he understood and gets it, also he says he is not very romantic. But now I find he is spending more money next month on a paintball day on other side of country which will cost heaps too. I'm tired of going on about it and want him to WANT to take me out or SHOW me somehow that he appreciates me and me taking him back. At the moment his priorities revolve around HIS fun....we have hardly been out anywhere together...not even the movies. I feel that he has completely forgotten bout me and what he put me through and needs to grow up too. If I wanted someone back that much, I would have tried harder. Now he is probably taking me for granted. I thought about going to movies and meals with friends and telling him so he 'clicks' but it's just game playing. I love and appreciate him...but does he feel the same way? If not...what the hell do I do?

[Bunnylove]

I haven't seen him since sunday (4 days ago) and tonight he has invited me to come drink with him and his paintball friends. i haven't replied yet.

[aromulus]

I haven't seen him since sunday (4 days ago) and tonight he has invited me to come drink with him and his paintball friends. i haven't replied yet.

Tell him to take a hike..............

[Bunnylove]

haha..yeah thats helpful....THANKS!....any OTHER suggestions???

[chino]

i guess both of you are very young...

[aromulus]

Tell him to take a hike..............

haha..yeah thats helpful....THANKS!....any OTHER suggestions???

I might have sounded a bit flippant with my reply, but believe me, I meant it.....

Obviously he is taking you for granted, and until he falls hard on his lubot, he will not understand that you are a person with different outlook on life.
You want closeness, which he seems not to give to you.
His selfishness is evident by the way he spends money on himself on self indulging activities.
Give him an ultimatum of some sort, stop being the victim, make the law and stick with it.
It is up to you to make the relationship work, because he doesn't seem to be interested...
Personally I would tell him to go and concentrate on his fun and games, and come back after he has grown up. But you will not be there for him then.
Students don't give a damn about serious relationships, for them it is just another extracurricular activity... Just biology.... take a break from that, and spend some time away from him.
Clear your mind and find someone that will really appreciate your worth and keep you on a pedestal.

Now that I bored you senseless with this diatribe you will understand why I only used 6 little words on my first reply.....

It is only my two pence worth, really...

Good luck in whatever you choose to do

[andypaul]

I might have sounded a bit flippant with my reply, but believe me, I meant it.....

Obviously he is taking you for granted, and until he falls hard on his lubot, he will not understand that you are a person with different outlook on life.
You want closeness, which he seems not to give to you.
His selfishness is evident by the way he spends money on himself on self indulging activities.
Give him an ultimatum of some sort, stop being the victim, make the law and stick with it.
It is up to you to make the relationship work, because he doesn't seem to be interested...
Personally I would tell him to go and concentrate on his fun and games, and come back after he has grown up. But you will not be there for him then.
Students don't give a damn about serious relationships, for them it is just another extracurricular activity... Just biology.... take a break from that, and spend some time away from him.
Clear your mind and find someone that will really appreciate your worth and keep you on a pedestal.

Now that I bored you senseless with this diatribe you will understand why I only used 6 little words on my first reply.....

It is only my two pence worth, really...

Good luck in whatever you choose to do

all the advice you need

[lil John]

Bunnylove, unfortunately some guys at his age are very immature and only think of themselves. I think the advice already given is the best you will get. In the future you might try a relationship with an older gentleman but that is not to say you can not find a younger guy who is mature.

[bornatbirth]

I might have sounded a bit flippant with my reply, but believe me, I meant it.....

Obviously he is taking you for granted, and until he falls hard on his lubot, he will not understand that you are a person with different outlook on life.
You want closeness, which he seems not to give to you.
His selfishness is evident by the way he spends money on himself on self indulging activities.
Give him an ultimatum of some sort, stop being the victim, make the law and stick with it.
It is up to you to make the relationship work, because he doesn't seem to be interested...
Personally I would tell him to go and concentrate on his fun and games, and come back after he has grown up. But you will not be there for him then.
Students don't give a damn about serious relationships, for them it is just another extracurricular activity... Just biology.... take a break from that, and spend some time away from him.
Clear your mind and find someone that will really appreciate your worth and keep you on a pedestal.

Now that I bored you senseless with this diatribe you will understand why I only used 6 little words on my first reply.....

It is only my two pence worth, really...

Good luck in whatever you choose to do

are u the new online relationship guru



just stop chatting to him for awhile if he misses u he will be back and play hard to get and if hes kissing another girl so soon wat type of bf would do that,he should be begging to get u back? good luck

[KeithD]

Sleep with his best friend.....that'll get his attention

[ervenescence]

LOL

[andypaul]

Sleep with his best friend.....that'll get his attention

Particularly if it was a lady

[Piamed]

...what the hell do I do?

Are you thiking he does not love you or is the issue that you want love expressed in a way you desire?

If you dont think he loves you thn dump him. If you believe he does love you then try to explain to him what you want and need him tio do to make you happyand see if it works. Good luck.

T

[andypaul]

Its the nougties you have the vote and equal rights take him out and wine and dine him

[Alan]

..... but we have recently been through hard times. He got freaked out and unsure if he wanted to be in a long term relationship and broke up with me on our 1 year anniversary. That was bad enough but he also ended up kissing some other girl a week later.

Enough said! I agree with Aromulus - I'm sorry!

Al.

[jencha8569]

I've been with boyf for a year and a few months. He is lovely and I love him but we have recently been through hard times. He got freaked out and unsure if he wanted to be in a long term relationship and broke up with me on our 1 year anniversary. That was bad enough but he also ended up kissing some other girl a week later. It was all very hurtful but after bout a month he realized he DID want a relationship and with me. I took a couple of weeks but of course love him so wanted to give it another shot. The thing is...we missed our 1 yr anniversay AND valentines day. I thought he might want to take me out to make up for it. Even some flowers or a card would be nice. Mostly I want to know that he understands how hard it was for me...what I went through due to his indecision was very hard. He did initially mention doing something but had no money, THEN the minute he got money (and he doesn't have much being a student) he spent alot of it on a paintball gun! After that we were meant to go 4 dinner but I had been waiting over a month. Also I told him I would feel bad eating the last of the little money he had and it wasn't romantic. He said he understood and gets it, also he says he is not very romantic. But now I find he is spending more money next month on a paintball day on other side of country which will cost heaps too. I'm tired of going on about it and want him to WANT to take me out or SHOW me somehow that he appreciates me and me taking him back. At the moment his priorities revolve around HIS fun....we have hardly been out anywhere together...not even the movies. I feel that he has completely forgotten bout me and what he put me through and needs to grow up too. If I wanted someone back that much, I would have tried harder. Now he is probably taking me for granted. I thought about going to movies and meals with friends and telling him so he 'clicks' but it's just game playing. I love and appreciate him...but does he feel the same way? If not...what the hell do I do?

hi bunnylove

my view base on ur posting is: ur bf does not really knows ur worth he undeniably take for granted ur existence. ok some will say talk to him hear his side but face it he dumped you (1st yr anniversary) then after a week kiss other girl then after tells you that he wants a relationship with you(which u accepted him). its not right so unfair!!! u made first moves for him to appraciate or give attention to you (which all of us girls needs it) yet he just exchange it with pinball games. i think if a guy really cares or loves his girl he would do anything and everything for her to feel happy or even appreaciated. a nice date (movie and dinner) doesnt have to be expensive(a little creativity will do) its the effort and time spent that makes it romantic. for me he is totally immature not excuse wether he still a student but with his actions, the way he treats you.
ur situation basically tells that its only you who can solve it i mean we just here to give our own ideas but in the end its you who will decide for yourself coz u the one who is feeling how your bf is treating and the effect on you. if he will not change sooner or later or u not happy then u decide: take or leave him..
newiz, hope you balance everything and i do hope all will be good on ur side
u go girl

[scott&ligaya]

Send him some paint balls and tell him to kiss them!!!! dump him he is taking you for granted.

[love8888]

haha..yeah thats helpful....THANKS!....any OTHER suggestions???

anniversary is so important for any girl even a card or a flower that's make us happy he is not worth to love tell him to love his paint ball
leave him that's the best thing you can do and live your life happy
when a man loves a woman they should put us first before anything else.that's a real man.

[KeithD]

anniversary is so important for any girl even a card or a flower that's make us happy.

Totally agree....I never forget the date of ours.......erm............bugger....

[Alan]

Send him some paint balls and tell him to kiss them!!!! dump him he is taking you for granted.

Great response!!!

Al.

[eljean]

he's taking you for granted...that's it becoz he knows your head over heels on him...and he will always gonna break your heart,,,sorry love

[kimmi]

Send him some paint balls and tell him to kiss them!!!! dump him he is taking you for granted.

Great response!!!

Al.

Listen to one of the Kuya here..

[keithAngel]

Send him some paint balls and tell him to kiss them!!!! dump him he is taking you for granted.

Or maybe he just likes paint balling

[Piamed]

I also think he takes you for granted.

T

[Mich]

leave him, you deserve much better than that guy. besides, if he really loves you, he wouldnt prioritize his paint balls over you. you are still young, have a lot to experience. enjoy life muna.

[KeithD]

leave him, you deserve much better than that guy. besides, if he really loves you, he wouldnt prioritize his paint balls over you. you are still young, have a lot to experience. enjoy life muna.

Listen to 'Agony Aunt Mich'

[Bunnylove]

Well I got all of your messages and what great advice. Thank you for taking time to write and help me everyone is right though and things are already changing. I went out with him that night and we fell out. We never fight or anything like that but after him getting a bit annoyed at me because I was being 'off' all night he had a go. So...I did too and it ALL came out. By the end of it I got a taxi home. He did not argue with me but he did not comfort me either. After this night I have been thinking and got all your messages. You are right, he IS taking me for granted and prioritising his fun b4 me and right NOW would be a good time to make up for missing our important days. On sunday I told him we needed to talk and later phoned. He asked what is was and I told him I was unhappy. I was ready to kick the ball in his court right there and give him a week to decided if he was WITH me or not, if he still was the same then I would have to end it. Anyway he stopped me at "i'm not happy" and told me that he knew and he wants to make things better so I am happy. That paintball is an activity he enjoys but it will not interfere with 'US'. He isn't much of a talker so I was in shock, THEN suggested we go out this week, any day I want, suggested movies or walk on beach or drive. I'm still in shock as was expecting the worst. Anyway thursday is the day so we will see how it goes. I don't know how or why things finaly got through to him but they did. I'm being weary though and have kept my distance almost 2 weeks just incase. I will let you know how it goes, but thank you all again xxx