Worried!...Andy17

[kimmi]

benefit of the doubt, for me..

[lavander]

Hi Lavander,
what does Andy do, if like me he is procurment he may well be blasting round southern china on as many factory visits as possibe in the short time available, that being said even with dodgy dial up connections in dingy chinese hotels in the middle of nowhere he should be able to get a message to you to say hello.
It is possible that as you guys are very new to each other that he is just a stupid man like many of us and does not realise how much you are already smitten and feels it is okay to leave things for a week. As someone said men are from mars!!!. i do hope all is okay and you post here soon with good news

thanks scott&ligaya, bit of relief..am after more of knowing his situation and not because of the thinking his runnings mile away from me...thanks though...

[Les_lady888]

I havent heard from Les for almost a week too but that's because of time differences and work.........and that made me feel so terribly awful....although he sent me offline msgs at times......but I guess long absence makes a woman's mind worry and gets suspicious

[lavander]

I havent heard from Les for almost a week too but that's because of time differences and work.........and that made me feel so terribly awful....although he sent me offline msgs at times......but I guess long absence makes a woman's mind worry and gets suspicious

Hi Les_lady888, agree with you but on my case...its more on worrying about his situation and no suspicion at all......



lavander.

[ApoEagles]

andy17 andy17 is offline
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Location: Huddersfield, UK
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Welcome Che Che.. glad you joined and you can keep in touch with the kind folks here on this site. It will surely give you inspiration to know that there is such a large community waiting for you here in the UK. I hope you and your Fiance are reunited soon! I'm pleased to tell you that I have this forum to thank for giving me a space to meet someone (Hi Lavander babe, are you out there??) and I'm hoping to meet up with her at the London barrio festival in July. Good luck!


Hi Lavander, that's his welcome message to me a week ago and he mention about you. I know that this message is a week ago but i just want to uplift you through his words about you so don't worry maybe he had a good reason why you haven't heard from him.

[ApoEagles]

I havent heard from Les for almost a week too but that's because of time differences and work.........and that made me feel so terribly awful....although he sent me offline msgs at times......but I guess long absence makes a woman's mind worry and gets suspicious

Yes i must agree too, Long absence makes a woman's mind worry a lot or man as well which the only cure would be a simple words like hi, hello. don't worry about me I am ok and I miss you. Simple things to show that you value and remember her on that day, a sort of inspiration for the day that's of course said from the heart not just because it's needed to say. It's like norturing the relationship to keep it warm. Most of the times when we worry it becomes stressful feeling because there is a lot of things going around our head which obviously needs relaxing and some answers to be able to relax.

[keithAngel]

Yes i must agree too, Long absence makes a woman's mind worry a lot or man as well which the only cure would be a simple words like hi, hello. don't worry about me I am ok and I miss you. Simple things to show that you value and remember her on that day, a sort of inspiration for the day that's of course said from the heart not just because it's needed to say. It's like norturing the relationship to keep it warm. Most of the times when we worry it becomes stressful feeling because there is a lot of things going around our head which obviously needs relaxing and some answers to be able to relax.

I think this is a good example of a cultural difference between western men and Filipino ladies When I am around I'm happy to talk every day but if I'm busy I tell my girl if possible and expect that to be OK to

I also suspect that before meeting its not so compelling to be driven to contact every day that is a secondary phase for a man if he is lucky.

I don't expect my partner to be completely emotionally dependant it is the spaces between the notes that create the melody after all.

[Piamed]

I think this is a good example of a cultural difference between western men and Filipino ladies When I am around I'm happy to talk every day but if I'm busy I tell my girl if possible and expect that to be OK to

I also suspect that before meeting its not so compelling to be driven to contact every day that is a secondary phase for a man if he is lucky.

I don't expect my partner to be completely emotionally dependant it is the spaces between the notes that create the melody after all.

I know where you are coming from but how much of what we are assigning to cultural heterogeneity is actually stemming from the circumstance and also the personalities of the individuals involved.

Firstly, LDRs (Long-Distance Relationships) create an unusual circumstance that West-West relationships rarely encounter. This is compounded by fewer opportunities to communicate and also an usual mode of doing so. When you add time-zones, economic heterogeneity, age, and the many others that exist with many of our relationships it's not surprising that there are misaligned expectations/understandings.

Secondly, the choice over how often to communicate is surely a personal thing. I, like many of you, am incredibly busy. I have so far undertaken almost 50 flights this year and am usually very busy when in the UK, catching up on things that I could not do when traveling but still make time no matter what to contact my wife on a daily basis. If for any reason, I have not contacted her it's because I thought it was OK not to do so on that particular occasion.

Sofi and I are very much individuals but we do like to hear from each other often as we have many things we want to share. That, I think, is related to our personalities rather than our 'cultures'.

There are definitely cultural differences at play within our relationships but I do believe that much of what we put down to these differences is actually the result of other things.

Just my take on it!

[Piamed]

I would add that many of the men here married or about about to marry a woman they consider loving and caring...loving and caring women want to hear from their men and are concerned when they don't! That's what they do!

Compared to other consequences of our relationships ..absence and the significant financial commitment, I think a woman wanting to hear from her significant other is a small price to pay.

Perhaps I've got too much of a feminine side!

[andypaul]

THe Wife and I made huge efforts to keep in contact. We both had either a watch with uk and phill time (me) and the wife had both times on her phone.

Its hard work and sometimes costly keeping in contact so compromise has to be made when the cheaper mediums are unavaiable.

I would stress to any bloke who is thinking of dipping his toe into a Brit/phill relationship. To bear in mind how important communication is.

Ask any of us Brits with Phill wifes or the good ladies themselves, many will know more about whats going on in their familes in phill and towns than whats going on in the UK.

Brits can go days in general not knowing whats going on with family members while in phill many would simply find that bizzare.

[KeithD]

Brits can go days in general not knowing whats going on with family members .......

Weeks.....months.....years......

[andypaul]

Weeks.....months.....years......

true very true

[keithAngel]

I would add that many of the men here married or about about to marry a woman they consider loving and caring...loving and caring women want to hear from their men and are concerned when they don't! That's what they do!

Compared to other consequences of our relationships ..absence and the significant financial commitment, I think a woman wanting to hear from her significant other is a small price to pay.

Perhaps I've got too much of a feminine side!

I agree that once "married" the rules will change but remember befor you have met the dynamic may be different I dont intend to bring my girl to the UK at all I want to spend half the year there each year untill I retire and or find a way to make a living there and having clearly said that If the love is how it would need to be to enter that comitment on both sides I feel confident we can make it work

Absence after all makes..............

[Peanutz]

When we talk about 'LOVE' no matter what ethnicity you belong, where you came from and whatever your background is...The feeling that we feel is all the same.
When you love someone 'NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR HOW BUSY YOU ARE YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND TIME TO HEAR THE VOICE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIGHTER THAN AIR AND MAKE YOU DANCE WITH CLOUDS' and this, I think, applies to all those who fall inlove.

Intelligence should come from our heart BUT it should also come together with our wisdom...
Without the wisdom that guides your sense, your heart will not find the right path...Therefore you become a blind fish.
Lavander, I hope nothing bad had happened to Andy17, goodluck to you.

[lavander]

Hi,

Thanks a lot for all your wonderful support and reply on my concerns about Andy17...Just an update btw, i got email from him 10hrs ago.....He is Ok and this keeps me settled and at peace...

Though reading back some reply from member here made me do some reality check from my end...'am i really going to fast?, am really expecting too much?, did i really make him scared away etc etc?'....after a while, my answers just boil down to 'no'. being him my new special friend just bring me worries on his whereabouts when he is not in contact for the past days...given the fact that he has been part of my daily routine for the past week...
am a typical filipina (sensitive and caring), all of you might not be agree, but as we said in our culture... 'aso nga hinahanap e! tao pa?' (we even bother to look for a missing dog what else more a person ? and what else more if that person is someone consider special???....hmmmm


Nevertheless...Thanks to all for keeping me company all through the posting journey...

@Andy17, sorry for bragging about my worries on this forum..i dont mean any harm here with you nor with anyone....and i don't care on your reason, knowing that you are OK is what i am really up to.




Lavander.

[LEAHnew]

Glad to hear the news sis

When i was reading your thread I felt sad and sorry about it, I understand your feelings sis (coz I've been that way as well)
But in the end we feel relieved

Thanks for sharing it and made your thread very informative and to all those who shares experience and views thanks

cheers,
Leah

[pennybarry]

[SIZE="3"]So it's time for you to enjoy your holidays!!!

How long you will stay there? where do you stay?

You can be a backpacker in Germany, there's cheaper ticket at German's train for backpackers where you can buy 10 Euro for a return travel by train. I used to be a backpacker when I was there. Been to Aachen, Frankfurt, Berlin and Paderborn. You can go to Paris by train, Visit the Eiffel Tower 2nd level or 3rd level, Have a cup of coffee there and enjoy seing the whole city of Paris from the top! Try visit Amsterdam by train , take a boat to Red Light Districts. If you like dancing and want to meet more people, visit some Bachelor's disco, and Elderly disco Pub in Belgium! where you can see Elderlies are all happy dancing. I have enjoyed it all during my 3 months stay in Holland.
When I told my husband, (BF that time) that I will fly to Holland in weeks time, he was so excited to see me personally for the first time as we met only in the web. It was a great first time meeting then! I wish you'll meet there somehow, somewhere, sometime!
Goodluck![/SIZE]

[Piamed]

Glad you heard from andy17 Lavander!

[pennybarry]

Oh sorry you're back to Singapore pala. I can't find the shy icon

[lavander]

Oh sorry you're back to Singapore pala. I can't find the shy icon

No worries...

[kimmi]

thats good news Sis..

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi lavander, i'm reading your posts and it seems you really care for this person so much. You're in the getting to know each other stage, right? Maybe you're coming soooo fast? I understand how you feel but nevertheless just relax because true love knows no boundaries. Happiness is compared to a butterfly, if you chase it, it will fly away from you but, if you sit in one corner and focus your attention on some other things, it will surely rest on your shoulders.......
Best of luck

[andy17]

Hasn't been on here since end of April.....maybe the pic I sent him of me in a leotard made him ill

HELLOOOOO!!!!! I'm BACK!

Win2Win - I missed the leotard pic... but don't worry, I have a good imagination! I must get mine out again and see if it still fits me

EVERYONE: Thanks for giving your kind support to Lavander... I can see from her posts that she was going crazy without word from me (as I was without being able to chat to her)
To cut a long story short, it was a visit to Japan not China (that trip's in June) and although my Blackberry works perfectly when I'm on business all over the place, China, USA, Canada - even Lancashire... when I arrived in Japan... no signal at all! I tried a phonecard at the JR station before going to the Ryokan in Hakone but I couldnt get it to work (probably rushing too much before I boarded the Shinkansen to Hakone. The Ryokan guest house had no internet or guest phones (really basic and rustic place) and the same at the one in Kyoto!
Sooooo, anyway, one week, no e-mails, no phonecalls from the office and most of all, no Lavander to talk to!
My first internet point was at the Kyoto Westin on my last night there so I had a quick look here and send Lavander a note to explain.
I've just got back home this evening and logged on right away to drop an explanation note (Lavander tipped me off that I should take a look at the forum)
Lavander - a big hug and a shy apology for not being better prepared for my trip - at least I know for next time!
THANKS EVERYONE!

[andy17]

I didn't realise that there were 2 pages! well, I'll read the rest after some sleep - I didnt sleep much on the plane and I just drove from Heathrow to Halifax...zzzzzzzzzzzz

[Mrs.JMajor]

wow what a nice start relationship....go go go.....wish u end well andy17 and lavander...was a bit sad also about the 1st page...bout now u made me smile

[alicat]

welcome back andy17...goodluck to both of u.

[KeithD]

...and I was thinking of getting a Blackberry

[ApoEagles]

Welcome back Andy17, now your Lavander have a very big smile and can have a very good sleep and sweetdreams of you .....I am happy to know that everything is ok now and everybody is happy... Cheers!

[kimmi]

I didn't realise that there were 2 pages! well, I'll read the rest after some sleep - I didnt sleep much on the plane and I just drove from Heathrow to Halifax...zzzzzzzzzzzz

ok, apology accepted...he he he

Cheers Andy, make sure next time u dont do it again..

[pennybarry]

ok, apology accepted...he he he

Cheers Andy, make sure next time u dont do it again..

And make sure next time your trip to Japan, you can have drop by to Singapore as it's very close .

Lavander, Listen to your heart It maybe more than a friend feeling ahahahaha. Joke joke joke UuuuuYYYYY!!!