Recently I had a talk with my close friend Pia. She told me about her online relationship with an Englishman. Their relationship started when she was only 19 years old (now she is 26). They met in a Christian dating site, exchanging emails as often as they can. Pia rarely uses the Yahoo Messenger before because she didn’t have internet access in her home in San Fernando Cebu. She doesn’t have a mobile that time.

When she was 24, she moved to Manila. We were neighbors, thus we became friends. I think what really brought us together, is we both have relationship with an Englishman. It was only in 2007 that the guy has finally decided to visit her. Of course, Pia was so excited about it. I can’t really blame her; she was so besotted with her guy.

But she started doubting her boyfriend the moment he came to the Philippines.

The boyfriend emailed her that he would be arriving in Manila at this date and time. She offered to pick him up at the airport; he declined, saying that his hotel arranged to pick him up from the airport. Yes, the boyfriend was being considerate. She lives in Quezon City, the airport is in Parañaque. So they agreed that she will go to the hotel instead. On the day of his arrival, she thought about checking his flight details in the airline website, just to see if she had the right details. Guess what? The details don’t match the ones in the website.

She went to the hotel as arranged. She was so excited to see him. But the happiness was short-lived, because the boyfriend told her that he will only stay for 4 days in Manila, and will fly back to London. She was sad about it.

But then she has becoming suspicious as the days passed. Why?

First, she noticed that he knew his way around manila and Makati. He knows exactly where to go and what to do. Considering this was his “first” time in the Philippines.

Second, she saw a crumpled note lying on the floor. A Globe mobile number is written on it. She kept the note. Wondering why her boyfriend has a Globe number, and who owns the number.

Third, on the day he left, he didn’t want her to take him to the airport. Reason: he didn’t want her going home alone from the airport.

Last, she was expecting a call/SMS from her boyfriend on the day of his arrival at Heathrow. She had none. Call/SMS came after a week. When she asked why he only contacted her now, his reply was his mobile wasn’t working and he was waiting for his internet connection to be reconnected.

She tried not to be paranoid about him. So she tried to forget all the suspicions that she has during his visit. They continued to talk to each other. He would call, send SMS, email and chat with her. It was going well until she received an SMS from him, saying something about Davao and Boracay. She smells something fishy about it. So she decided to investigate. She didn’t tell me how she did it, but what she has found out: her boyfriend came to the Philippines a week earlier than the date he “arrived” to see her. He was with another girl (owner of the Globe number she found). Then he went to meet her for 4 days. Then he contacted her a week after he “left” Manila. This “missing” week was spent with the same girl in Baguio City. Also it was not the first time he went to the Philippines. He was seeing the other girl even before he met Pia.

She was hurt of course. So she confronted him about it. As she expected, he admitted nothing. She broke up with him.

She loved him and trusted him. She thought he was honest and true to her. She was wrong.

After she relates to me her story, she asked:

HOW CAN A GIRL REALLY BE SURE THAT SHE IS THE ONLY ONE HE TALKS TO ONLINE?

I told her that I simply trust my boyfriend.

I know most of us here in the forum have success stories. Some people have unfortunate luck on their love life. We may not deserve it, she may not deserve it. But I told her to learn from her experience.

Well, to the cheating, lying men: be sure to cover your tracks if you are like this man. Women have very reliable instincts. We do sense it if you are doing something “illegal”.

This is not condoning acts of cheating, lying, and others. It seems normal for men to sow their wild oats before settling down, but do it with someone who knows the score. Don’t go on victimizing innocent girls.