How much distrust is based on facts, and how much on feelings?
Most people can start to wonder when things don't go as they expect, missed phone calls, not being around to chat. Most reasons for doubt are just thoughts getting out of control.
Reading through this made me think of the reasons why I did not mistrust a girl/lady I was in contact with a while back.
I knew where she lived, and identified it on Google earth. The address did get letters to her.
I knew where she worked, and again the address did exist. The company was partly in the name of a relation, who had the same family name as her. I found reference to him on the net, and with subtle questions it was obvious that it was her relation.
I had her landline and mobile number.
I knew her name and ID was as she had stated.
I knew which university she was studying at, and confirmed that she was really there.
I had phoned at all kinds of different times, spoken to her brother, seen the family on cam. The family make up coincided with numerous photos taken in different places. (and the camera data added up with answers to questions I asked)
Lots of little bits of conversation tied in with each other, and the details of her life and family life were too consistent to be fabricated.
When she said she had sent an email from an internet cafe, and not home, the IP address confirmed it.
OK, not a lot, but compare that to people who had sent me one email then asked for money, they never had a landline, wouldn't give exact addresses, gave inconsistent stories about family and friends, and generally weren't willing to answer specific questions.
To me, it is not all that likely that someone who is open with info, and has a family life that you can soon predict as if you were in the house, that their family is around when you have a cam running etc are going to be scammers.
It would be quite an achievement if they could orchestrate the whole thing, and do the same thing with more than one person, or keep a boyfriend hidden.
How much of what you have been told can you prove to be correct? How much of what you don't believe can you prove to be wrong? Would you have enough info to go to her door?
I heard a survey that said 60% of married women in the UK flirt in the workplace, and 40% have had affairs.
Looks like the chances are you are going to be better off looking elswhere.
It must be worth being careful with someone so far away, both careful you know enough about them to trust, and once you have established that, careful that nagging unfounded doubts don't lead to mistrust.
