Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
We've had a lot of folk passing through here over the years, and one thing that niggles a lot of the long term member's are those that pick women with more baggage than Terminal 5

Now these relationships can, and do work out fine, no problem with that. But why get heavily involved with the first Filipina you find, which is the case most of the time, and before you know it you are sending money over every month, paying out £1000's for an annulment, which can take 2 years in some case, have to figure out how to get the kids here, or pay for the schooling in the Phil......the list can go on.

Or you can talk to a few Filipina's as friends, find out which ones have no baggage, you do have the choice of 10,000's of them, so you must be able to find ONE!!

It is much easier, cheaper and quicker to get a visa, and your women to the UK if she is not already married, does not have kids, etc. You can get it all done in a few months for the minimum cost.

Now their is nothing wrong with Filipina ladies with baggage, we all have some, I have enough to fill an A380 (twice ), but keep it in mind about what you are getting yourself into.
Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.