Hassle Free Filipina Relationships

[grahamw48]

well said that man may I just add that a philippina that has had a rough relationship in the past and cant afford to escape her previous husband has a right to be happy like anybody else blame the catholic church for that nonsense

I totally agree on that.

[zaxy]

I think best to know your girl well before marriage.

I mean I bet many spoken to their gf and met online and talked 6 to 1 year before meeting them. I think you really need to meet them more than a few times to spend time witht the 1 you love to make sure she the right woman and see their life in the philippines. I wouldn't see my gf life how hard she works if i stayed in a hotel.

I always stayed at my gf house when im in the phillippines as i want to know her way of life and how hard she works and does things sure not comfortable bathing with no hot water lol damn bathing in cold water sure hated that and living poor. I shall be watching her teach in october can't wait to see her how she teach disabled kids and meet her parents who are in other province been with her for 3 yrs now and still need to know alot more about her before deciding on marrying her and she also needs know me more even though she wants marry me and said she sure about me.

[grahamw48]

I think you're very wise in your approach Zaxy.
Chatting on the internet is soooo different to being in each other's company, and the sooner that can be arranged the better. Oh and yes, it's so much more fun staying with the family...if you have the right attitude.

[zaxy]

Thanks graham want my gf to meet my parents in uk before we decide marriage hope things work out for us

[grahamw48]

Yeah....best of luck mate.

I reckon the secret is to treat the relationship just as you would any other....regardless of where your lady is from. Keep the rose-coloured specs in your pocket.

[hawk]

wish my fiancee was a mail order bride as am working for dhl it would be cheap to get her here in a nice packing case much cheaper then visa

[Sailor_JT]

mm after reading this I think me and my wife must be odd, we met online and found friendship, when we met we found each other in a way I could never have imagined. Since then we got married, had a wonderful son, had wonderful time with each other. I have a huge extended family which I love, with people from a culture I love, my son adores his cousins. My wife likes my family. We are blissfully happy some seven years after we met, six years after we married and five years after our son was born. The future looks awesome (apart from our crap economic climate) and we are looking forward to going home to be sponsors for my wifes niece in Pampanga. Altogether quite brilliant, hence I am wondering if we are odd, we got nothing to moan about.

[lastlid]

wish my fiancee was a mail order bride as am working for dhl it would be cheap to get her here in a nice packing case much cheaper then visa

Yeah. DHL her across....

[grahamw48]

mm after reading this I think me and my wife must be odd, we met online and found friendship, when we met we found each other in a way I could never have imagined. Since then we got married, had a wonderful son, had wonderful time with each other. I have a huge extended family which I love, with people from a culture I love, my son adores his cousins. My wife likes my family. We are blissfully happy some seven years after we met, six years after we married and five years after our son was born. The future looks awesome (apart from our crap economic climate) and we are looking forward to going home to be sponsors for my wifes niece in Pampanga. Altogether quite brilliant, hence I am wondering if we are odd, we got nothing to moan about.

That's good to hear.

Very similar to my own story and relationship ...until year 12.

Keep doing what you're doing, but never take each other or that lovely relationship for granted.

I sincerely wish you and your loved ones all the best in the future. It sounds like you've made a great start.

[zaxy]

I'm hoping i can have kids of my own but well this day age hard to afford kids.

[HACHE]

Just having a browse here on this thread after having posted my own threads in my situation.
Hassle free?? No way, my relationship has been a roller coaster. Very high highs, and very low lows. Personally I prefer things on a more consistent level.
I'm with the most attentative girl I've ever met, but if I miss saying the right thing, the right way, there's all hell to pay.

In my mind for any relationship to work, and last long term, is basically you've both got to want it, and you HAVE to know each other well. All this "love conqueres all" stuff isn't enough in the real world sometimes and, well, if you iritate the hell out of each other when you have issues, you constantly misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusions, that love will soon be chipped away, resentment sets in and you're then on a slippery slope.....

[chiechie]

Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.

my first question to my husband when i fell in love with him was "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE BRITISH?" because i am well aware of how we asians-Filipinas are thought of generally. being married to a "foreigner" comes with a great price too...in the Philippines our fellow Filipinos often think that either we have become prostitutes abroad or we went about sleeping around with "foreigners" and that's how we managed to snag a "white" husband. to be honest, my husband is my FIRST and only boyfriend ^_^ (before anyone in the forum thinks "she must be ugly" -well my husband says i'm beautiful and that's all that matters ^_^). i agree with you Ady, my husband could pretty well be an alien from another planet but he is the PERSON i fell inlove with! we started talking online as well and did not bother to ask for each other's photos until about we were ready to meet up. we fell in love with each other's personality-the physical attraction did not seem to matter, i guess in our case it just came as a bonus that we love how each other looks like when we finally met. my husband knew everything about me because we started out as being best buddies before falling in love and i told him what other people in the philippines might think of me when we go back. my family and friends will be fine because they all know me but other people would definitely talk and speculate about how we ended up together. my husband was the one who told me that it does not bother him even if people in the philippines talk about him, its ME he married and we love each other so he does not care---see, marriage with a Filipina maybe a baggage to foreigners but we have to deal with our own people too, im not saying that filipinos are judgmental but there is a certain view on how the philippine society sees filipinas with foreign husbands so its not necessarily a walk in the park on our part as well but that's how love should be isn't it? you give and you take, you share in the happiness and the sorrow, you become each other's strength...and sorry i ramble too much here ^_^ i'm not even sure if i should be in this thread i was just randomly reading and couldn't help but comment >_< sorry if i offend anyone!

[grahamw48]

Actually I think you have written a very interesting and heart-warming post chiechie

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience

I don't think that most of us Brits regard our Filipina partners as 'baggage' though...rather a definite (if slightly small and cuddly) asset.

[chiechie]

Actually I think you have written a very interesting and heart-warming post chiechie

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience

I don't think that most of us Brits regard our Filipina partners as 'baggage' though...rather a definite (if slightly small and cuddly) asset.

thank you grahamw48

[CBM]

That bit of Ancient Greek wisdom, "Call no man happy until he is dead" applies with great force to any discussion in which people offer advice on relationships.

Love is a very risky business, but the upside is that you may end up with a family.

I have baggage - two half Filipino boys aged 17 and 10, and a divorce.

Kay's baggage is much less - one boy who was two when we met and is about to be four, and no marriage. So far as he is concerned, I'm Daddy. It's easy for me - I have lived in the Philippines and in other places, but for Kay she is taking the risk of taking on two bigger boys and moving to an alien place. I don't need to be a genius to know that her son must always come first - so he should - and that my major attaction is that I have "Good (step) father" written all over me - it's better than having "ATM" written all over me!

She also has to put up with a lot of chismis from neighbours - she was accused of having a Filipino boyfriend as well as a foreign fancy man - this rumour came a bit unstuck when her brother, who works in Manila and visits at weekends, and I made a point of very visibly going out for a beer together!

[Slip]

Well as a newbie on the Filipino dating front I read this thread with great interest!!!

I met a lovely Filipino on a Filipino dating website and we have been chatting for a couple of months now. She is currently working in Malaysia and we chat on facebook and whats app throughout the day despite the time difference between there and me in the UK.

As a complete online dating newbie I was very cautious at the start that she only wanted me for my money. I actually have none and have told her that But Over the past couple of months I believe her to be a genuine person and really has fallen in love with me (she tells me several times a day) I guess I have also fallen in love with her, but for some reason I am still very cautious that it is a con and she is only after me for money. I don't care how much I fall for her, I will never send money to her as I have yet to meet her. And even after meeting her I doubt I would send money. I know she is desperate for a kid and she has mentioned she would like to have one with me. I would also like a kid and would quite happily fulfil her wishes. But I am scared she is using me to have a child and will take the kid back home and I would never see my child again.
As I have no money and she is on a contract for another 18 months we have no plans to meet just yet. But do you think I am being overly cautious? It's just I have read so many stories about Filipino girls that I cant help it!

[Terpe]

I think you need to decide for yourself how to conduct a Long Distance Relationship. You will receive the opinions of others covering the complete spectrum.

There must always be trust.

Of course there will be risks whenever you put your trust in others.
Just as it can be very risky to always err on the side of mistrust.

I wish you good luck.

[Dan T]

I know this old thread but you been with her 3 years and still not sure?