Hassle Free Filipina Relationships

[KeithD]

We've had a lot of folk passing through here over the years, and one thing that niggles a lot of the long term member's are those that pick women with more baggage than Terminal 5

Now these relationships can, and do work out fine, no problem with that. But why get heavily involved with the first Filipina you find, which is the case most of the time, and before you know it you are sending money over every month, paying out £1000's for an annulment, which can take 2 years in some case, have to figure out how to get the kids here, or pay for the schooling in the Phil......the list can go on.

Or you can talk to a few Filipina's as friends, find out which ones have no baggage, you do have the choice of 10,000's of them, so you must be able to find ONE!!

It is much easier, cheaper and quicker to get a visa, and your women to the UK if she is not already married, does not have kids, etc. You can get it all done in a few months for the minimum cost.

Now their is nothing wrong with Filipina ladies with baggage, we all have some, I have enough to fill an A380 (twice ), but keep it in mind about what you are getting yourself into.

[joebloggs]

too late to save me , i've been a baggage handler for years, but to the newbies save yourself

[keithAngel]

Im not sure there is any such thing as an unbagged Filipino if its not the kids
and parents its the 8 brothers and sisters and their kids lets face it we like a challenge and something to moan about with each other

[KeithD]

Im not sure there is any such thing as an unbagged Filipino if its not the kids

The majority on here through the years have found them, and it is not difficult, as they are the majority.

[kimmi]

The majority on here through the years have found them, and it is not difficult, as they are the majority.

[joroco]

if its not the kids
and parents its the 8 brothers and sisters

[joroco]

Keith Angel. It's ten brothers and sisters with me, plus mama and papa. And they live ONLY TWO HUNDRED YARDS AWAY from us!!

[marylen]

ha ha ha right........but you guys still love your wife no matter, whatever or however............(includes me with my hubby) with baggage or not........GO......................coz LOVE find its own way ( yea right as its double, triple cost.....)))

inorder to solve...maybe don't let involve yourself into any relationship that lead to marriage after all........better to stay numb and quite..........but really mind can't dictate heart....................so no matter how many baggages man still go find to love that woman.

So does it mean my hubby spend only a minimum and easy cost to bring me then coz i don't have any baggage to bring at all ..ha ha ha .......oh hate it....i want to have one at least one baggage..................pity me.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[kimmi]

ha ha ha right........but you guys still love your wife no matter, whatever or however............(includes me with my hubby) with baggage or not........GO......................coz LOVE find its own way ( yea right as its double, triple cost.....)))

inorder to solve...maybe don't let involve yourself into any relationship that lead to marriage after all........better to stay numb and quite..........but really mind can't dictate heart....................so no matter how many baggages man still go find to love that woman.

So does it mean my hubby spend only a minimum and easy cost to bring me then coz i don't have any baggage to bring at all ..ha ha ha .......oh hate it....i want to have one at least one baggage..................pity me.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I agree with u sis..

[Ady]

We've had a lot of folk passing through here over the years, and one thing that niggles a lot of the long term member's are those that pick women with more baggage than Terminal 5

Now these relationships can, and do work out fine, no problem with that. But why get heavily involved with the first Filipina you find, which is the case most of the time, and before you know it you are sending money over every month, paying out £1000's for an annulment, which can take 2 years in some case, have to figure out how to get the kids here, or pay for the schooling in the Phil......the list can go on.

Or you can talk to a few Filipina's as friends, find out which ones have no baggage, you do have the choice of 10,000's of them, so you must be able to find ONE!!

It is much easier, cheaper and quicker to get a visa, and your women to the UK if she is not already married, does not have kids, etc. You can get it all done in a few months for the minimum cost.

Now their is nothing wrong with Filipina ladies with baggage, we all have some, I have enough to fill an A380 (twice ), but keep it in mind about what you are getting yourself into.

Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.

[Ady]

I mean, is it OK for me to seek advice on this forum? Because I would hate to put anyone out. I'm sure some of you cuddled up watching Coronation Street with your Filipina wives were in need of advice and support at sometime. I'm sure that, in the days when a few thousand miles separated you from your new love, there were people telling you it was a bad idea. This forum would put you with people in a similar situation - but even then, your relationship is not free from the scrutiny of the masses that chose the "right" Filipina simply because she had no baggage. Maybe the "right" Filipina was the one that you turned away simply for having a kid. Maybe that is the relationship that would have made you happiest - and maybe that relationship would have been worth the extra effort?

After all, there are instances of young Filipinas running off with the first window cleaner they find, so you had better clean your own windows now my friends. And there are instances of the older man seeking a new younger model when the Filipina gets over the age of 25. So, better stop aging. Everything has it's risks. But, to be honest, I don't need anyone to tell me that this sort of relationship is tough. I kind of figured that out myself. What I need is people that can help me in the Visa process, Annulment process etc. But, if that is niggling at the administrators, I can go off and work that sort of thing out for myself.

[joebloggs]

After all, there are instances of young Filipinas running off with the first window cleaner they find, so you had better clean your own windows now my friends.

my misses has just been up a 25ft ladder painting the windows...

instances of british women running off with the milkman, husbands carrying on with their secretary..on and on it goes

[aromulus]

instances of british women running off with the milkman,

More like the Avon lady, nowadays.............

[KeithD]

More like the Avon lady, nowadays.............

Or a LibDem....the Cheeky Girl

[joebloggs]

just my luck, we don't have a milkman or window cleaner

not even a avon lady

[Sim11UK]

I guess the gist of this thread was, to put it simply, to save people a lot of time, hassle & money.

This maybe, very good advice to somebody, who suddenly finds their way on to this forum, with absolutely no idea of what they are getting themselves into.
...Cautionary advice, as opposed to don't do it.

The bit about niggling the long term members, hmmm not sure about that?, every story, is going to be different.

Ady, this thread has obviously hit a raw nerve with you. You seem to know what you want, so just don't take it personally & persue it till your end goal.
Just carry on listening, to the bits that you can learn from & ignore the bits which don't affect you, or p**s you off!...Many more, will follow & some will be as headstrong as you.
Share what you can with others.

People are always going to have their own ideas & opinions & on a public forum, that is what you are encouraged to do...It's what a forum is.
I occasionally find myself, like most on here, I should imagine, having to bite my lip, at some comment or other & although, we are all here for the same goal, circumstances differ widely.

[Piamed]

Hi Ady

I believe that this thread was started to help people. We all have differing ways of writing, expressing our thoughts and use of tone. This variety is what makes a forum such as this of potential use to a wide audience. Additionally, enlightenment is derived from putting ones 'issue' out there and receiving contrasting views and thoughts by return.

You have found a lady that you love and that is a very great thing in itself . A good heart is hard to find. There are some circumstances surrounding your relationship that other visitors/members may be unaware of and benefit from a perspective on. That these perspectives may be offensive to you is unfortunate and I'm sure unintended. As I alluded to earlier in my post, the audience is varied and thus the posts are correspondingly so.

I believe sim11UK gave good advice . Select out what you need and find helpful and ignore all the rest. We all find things on here that we disagree with or find uncomfortable. I have had that conversation with my wife several times. Similarly, I'm certain that we all post things that not everyone is onboard with. That is to be expected. But overall, I believe there is enough on here to potentially help everyone. I imagine you do too.

I would like to further express my thoughts on a couple of things. I notice that on several posts you highlight the sentiment that you are "not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. [but are] attracted to beautiful girls". I believe that both types of attraction are valid and none is better than the other.

You expressed your thoughts that "It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage" I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone having a preference for a Filipina or any other key characteristic of a partner. The key thing is that they love each other irrespective of what brought them together. I think that aligns with your own thoughts too.

Are the divorce laws in the Philippines Draconian or indeed in any way militaristic? I can understand how someone wanting a divorce to occur might suggest they are as the law as it stands does not readily suit their purpose. Many observers consider our own western divorce laws Draconian. I guess it depends on ones situation and thus bias. Hmmn!

I do agree with you wholeheartedly that you should distance yourself from stupid and bigoted people who seek to undermine and disrespect your partner . I guess that anyone who will enter a relationship with a Filipina or many other women of particular nationalities will encounter ignorant people who make mindless jibes . I acknowledge too that many Filipinas will also experience jibes from jealous people accusing them of being gold-diggers etc. We all face stupidity. For me stupidity of the highest order in addition to a suicidal tendency will be displayed by anyone who disrespects my rib . You’ve been warned I'm also at the gun range twice a week and am licensed to correct attitudes

Please note that I'm in a hotel in Denmark at the moment and hearing sounds from next door that are not helping right now...so please bear with me if I seem a tad...err...agitated!

Seriously though, I genuinely wish you the best in your pursuit of happiness as does everyone here. May He continue to bless you both as you go forward.

[aromulus]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

[keithAngel]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

I agree with you Dom and I also understood completely what sentiments prompted Adys response .

Speaking as one who has embarked already I was shocked to learn that it was not only the Emotional and Practical issues I was engaging with my Girl but the "Baggage" of the Catholic Church and Philippine State in relation to "Adultery" not to mention the double standards talked about here in relation to what may be ok as a Filipino male to practice but not as a woman.

The feeling of being open to State abuse and corruption is much more worrying than simply engaging with my Ladies past and child, I knew all about that from the begining.

I for one am not happy to "support " corrupt practices especialy when by doing so they tend to encourage the continuation of basic human rights abuse as far as I can see paying for an annulment almost invariably requires perjury and to get it quickly bribery.

I would rather pay a bit more to find a way around this and not join in

[Alan]

I believe that Bertha from Cleethorpes is still free.

Al.

[lonelyheart]

I agree with u sis..

there is nothing better than having a large family the more the better, than again many people over here find that difficult, take the best of the cultures.


My father has passed away bless his soul, I now look after my mother it is my
obligation and duty, when i was still with my wife i appreciated the family culture thing, it is something i do not want to loose.

Yes it can be a pain wit brothers and sisters or cousins, but better than growing old alone or being abandoned by your kids


but than again many of my mates want their privacy and freedom from the baggage, it is just a matter of perspective !!

[gracia143]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

That's a very good way of putting it Dom. I must admit I got a bit upset reading this post, I mean I do know Keith's sense of humour by now but this one was said in a quite serious manner. He's got a point there though, I wouldn't advise brothers or sisters or friends to get into a serious relationship with a person that has got extra baggages but don't we all deserve a second chance? Don't we all deserve to be happy? I and my husband went through a lot of troubles, defying odds, fighting the government so I can get a Visa to visit him, the annulment, and then there's the fiance' visa which took ages and I had to go to the embassy and give them a piece of my mind before they can release the 'damn thing', then there's the baggage issue on his side when I finally got here. But to sum it all up, I'd do the same thing again if given the chance to start all over.

I don't know, yeah maybe this thread will help other people to avoid getting into a serious relationship with a baggageless person, I hope.

[joebloggs]

good to see you back gracia, thought you might have been deported with your temper

your right thou, my misses had more baggage than terminal 5, easy to walk away, and look for an easier path. but at the end of your journey you look back and think we got thru the hard times, didn't sway from the path, oh hang on is this part of an obama speech

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it

[gracia143]

good to see you back gracia, thought you might have been deported with your temper

your right thou, my misses had more baggage than terminal 5, easy to walk away, and look for an easier path. but at the end of your journey you look back and think we got thru the hard times, didn't sway from the path, oh hang on is this part of an obama speech

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it

Hi Joe! I'm not deported yet, I may have a temper but I know how to control myself. I'm on here most of the time still but I often chose to just read and observe rather than post. I've been keeping myself busy with two jobs (and Uni) as like all of us are already aware of, Filipinas have loads of baggages with them even when you married them as 'single'. When I arrived I had to find ways to support them from day one...the whole clan, the whole barangay and sometimes even friends. I work but most of my salary ends up being given back to the Phils., one time the guy from PNB told me off saying I should leave something for myself. Maybe one day I will learn to harden my heart and not give in to their wishes? For now, I have no answer to that but Trev has been very understanding and always being very supportive, I still consider myself lucky he has chosen me despite the baggage which I didn't kept secret when we first met.

[gracia143]

oh hang on is this part of an obama speech

that's funny

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it

I admire these kind of men. Thanks Joe! Hope your wife and kids are doing well.

[somebody]

One of the greatest things of this site is reading seeing amazing relationships with every possible obstacle in the way in the end manage it. But for every couple that make im sure plenty dont for various reasons.

As many have said in various ways in the last few days in particular if its meant to be it will happen in the end.

[joebloggs]

oh hang on is this part of an obama speech

that's funny

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it

I admire these kind of men. Thanks Joe! Hope your wife and kids are doing well.

yes were all ok. i've got the extra baggage of being a grand dad now , with a beautiful grand daugther, we should be a bag lighter soon, we've nearly got thru my misses cousin whos doing nursing at uni, hell the kid deserves a break, really hard life, no parents

good your doing uni, keep it up, there is light at the end to the tunnel
regards to you and hubby

[gracia143]

One of the greatest things of this site is reading seeing amazing relationships with every possible obstacle in the way in the end manage it. But for every couple that make im sure plenty dont for various reasons.

As many have said in various ways in the last few days in particular if its meant to be it will happen in the end.

You're absolutely right Somebody.

Glad your family is expanding Joe, congratulations! It's tough having an extended family but it pays off I think. It makes me really pleased with myself when I am sending something, sometimes I get abused and they keep asking more and more but I am learning to say no now although not often.

[joebloggs]

You're absolutely right Somebody.

Glad your family is expanding Joe, congratulations! It's tough having an extended family but it pays off I think. It makes me really pleased with myself when I am sending something, sometimes I get abused and they keep asking more and more but I am learning to say no now although not often.

good for you, even my misses is telling her family, no now, you've got to look after your family here to

[Jay&Zobel]

Replies are so amazing!!!