My wife's affair

[Ritter68]

hi again. thanks for the advice and words of wisdom and I take that on board. First of all, my wife is a fulltime housewife after our daugther born. The filipino guy is a collage friend according to her and I asked her how they met in UK she said he got a friendster account that's how they had a communication she send her a message to say hello etc so they start texting and calls all just thru cellphone. The guy works in Surrey and we live in Yorkshire.

I change my job a year ago, now I am a lorry driver, so most of the time Im away from my family I need to provide a good money for my family as a lorry driver the only way to do that which she is not happy bec she wants to work like weekends and I think that's the cause of our problem

Like most of your questions how I managed to calm down....at first I know that there's something going on already my emotional level been in control and the time i found out the affair i could physically hit her but never i would do that specially with a woman. Im 6ft'2" my wife is just 5ft'3" can you imagine if i hit her? When the guy is in our house my daughter is in the table with them morethan anything else i am protecting both of them my daughter is only 3 yrs old and haven't had a clue what's going on.

I agree that how can you love a person if there's no trust? I know in my heart that she is really sorry and she wants our relationship in the right place again I am in a situation that I can give her a second chance but Im not sure if I can forget....5 years of happy memories and

[joebloggs]

hi again. thanks for the advice and words of wisdom and I take that on board. First of all, my wife is a fulltime housewife after our daugther born. The filipino guy is a collage friend according to her and I asked her how they met in UK she said he got a friendster account that's how they had a communication she send her a message to say hello etc so they start texting and calls all just thru cellphone. The guy works in Surrey and we live in Yorkshire.

it's easy for someone to say walk away, but your talking about your wife and daughter,

what reason did she give for this affair?, no excuses for it, but there is temptation from 'friendster' and 'facebook' sites where some people start flirting after a while, old b/fs anf g/fs can be found, people get carried away and stupid mistakes can be made, i think my own manger at work meet someone thru facebook, which in a way has lead to the breakup of his marriage,maybe for him the marriage was already over, i don't know.

no excuse again but boredom, for someone stuck at home each day, your not there, no one to talk to?, 6000 miles from family and friends, and she ends up chatting to someone from her own country, no doubt they started chatting about life back in the phils, family and friends

how many filipina's realise b4 they marry a brit, for some life in the uk will not be what they thought it would be like, if they ever thought about it at all, for most filipina's family and friends are everything to them, and they end up in the uk alone, living in isolation if they dont work, if their lucky seeing they familiy and friends once or twice a year, i know my misses is feeling a bit home sick now, not seen her family for 3 years , but unlike most she was living away from her family most of her life and she is use to it, she works here and we've got 2 kids, but i know she starting to feel home sick..

as you said you being away alot of the time would not have helped your marriage, just as time and distance is a problem for many long distance relationships

he travelled all that way

as for trusting someone, you being a lorry driver, you have to trust people all day you don't know, who are driving on the other side of the road will not smash in to you..
your trust in your wife has gone, but you still love her, well you either walk away or rebuild your marriage, and to rebuild some trust in your wife, get some key logging software on your pc , so you know what she gets up to, but then if she found out, her trust in you will be gone

good luck what ever you do, i do feel sorry for you and your daughter..

[friend]

I know in my heart that she is really sorry and she wants our relationship in the right place again I am in a situation that I can give her a second chance but Im not sure if I can forget....5 years of happy memories and

I'd say this marriage is worth another chance. You love your wife and she is sorry. Your daughter deserves two loving parents. If the two of your can rebuild your relationship your little girl will have the very best example of lessons learned, love and forgiveness.

We're all entitled to make a mistake and be forgiven. If we do it again though, that's bad and sad

Have a long look, together, at all the factors that brought this about and then throw yourselves into rebuilding. You don't have to forget, Ritter, it's not possible to forget but it won't always be at the forefront of your mind

At the end of the day, only you can decide, of course. Wishing you the very best, whatever you decide.

Friend