stress with my family and friends

[maganda]

hi just wondering if some filipinas here are stress or pressured by their family about marraige. Everytime your bf or fiance visits u in PI, does ur family always ask you, "when is he marrying you???" Does your friends, relatives and all the pipol you know asks you, when are you both marrying?? Or after his visit,,,do they ask you "is he coming back ,when???" or "is he serious enough to marry you??" or "are you not scared that he might not comeback??"

Im asking this questions because this is my situation family and friends gives me grief. I told my brit bf about these and he is surprise coz everyone is rushing him. I didnt told him about it i kept to myself until recently. I am worried at first because he might think im making up stories and rushing him to marry me but i explained everything to him the filipino culture. My poor bf is very surprise about it, he said its very different from his culture. He said he dont like to be rush because everything will happen soon. I believe him because we love each other so much. In fact we always talk about marriage, but he still saving money. He is coming again this month, and everyone including my family is asking if its marriage this time

Im tired of explaing to them and to my friends as well. Somtimes i will just ignore them. We all know that filipino family really interferes and everyone has a say. Everytime i say that my bf is still saving money for our marriage soon,, they would start to think negative. They would even say that time might come that he will be bored with me. Its really affecting me and making me very stressed. I have no doubtswith my bf i trust him and love him to bits. But hw will i deal with my family and close friends?

[LadyJ]

Your friends and family probably cant wait to hear the fact that you are going abroad after you marry your bf,..lol. but If Im in your situation i will just ignore them and wont take it seriously.

[misscarie]

[QUOTE=maganda;70802]

hi just wondering if some filipinas here are stress or pressured by their family about marraige. Everytime your bf or fiance visits u in PI, does ur family always ask you, "when is he marrying you???" Does your friends, relatives and all the pipol you know asks you, when are you both marrying?? Or after his visit,,,do they ask you "is he coming back ,when???" or "is he serious enough to marry you??" or "are you not scared that he might not comeback??".

Im asking this questions because this is my situation family and friends gives me grief. I told my brit bf about these and he is surprise coz everyone is rushing him. I didnt told him about it i kept to myself until recently. I am worried at first because he might think im making up stories and rushing him to marry me but i explained everything to him the filipino culture. My poor bf is very surprise about it, he said its very different from his culture. He said he dont like to be rush because everything will happen soon. I believe him because we love each other so much. In fact we always talk about marriage, but he still saving money. He is coming again this month, and everyone including my family is asking if its marriage this time

Im tired of explaing to them and to my friends as well. Somtimes i will just ignore them. We all know that filipino family really interferes and everyone has a say. Everytime i say that my bf is still saving money for our marriage soon,, they would start to think negative. They would even say that time might come that he will be bored with me. Its really affecting me and making me very stressed. I have no doubtswith my bf i trust him and love him to bits. But hw will i deal with my family and close friends?

Hello Maganda you know wat? we have the same situation.There was a time that i became tired explaining to my family about the marriage , altho i understand them because they are just worried or concern if our english bf/fiancee will marry us or not.Specially my papa keep asking me if he will visit again or not b4 i travel to uk.Our parents just protecting us.It really hard to explain about marrying if only yourself and ur family talking about this without ur bf/fiancee , inspite of this i dont keep this to my hubby.Even my friends asked me , but i dont care if they can't wait I always ask my hubby if he will marry me in the UK ? or if not ... i wont come there lol , dont worry too much girl everything will be alright.Who knows , maybe when ur hubby visit again this month he will propose now while having dinner with family

[maganda]

thank u misscarie glad to know im not alone I know that our parents are just protecting us especially my papa he is very worried if my bf will marry me or come back to visit again. Everytime my bf visits me, i stay with him in the hotel i want to be with him every minute while hes here,,same thing with him. Im in my 30's so i know what im doing, im old enough to make my own decisions. thats why my parents worry too much ,we all know here in the philippines sleeping together before marraige is not acceptable. Filipino parents dont accept this kind of situation, thats why i dont blame them if they always suspiscious with my bf. I explained everything to him and he understood, he said he will do the right thing and we get engage this month. marriage will follow soon coz he still saving for it. But i think my family still not happy coz what they want is marriage coz we been sleeping together everyone gives me grief, my gran, my aunts they said im not behaving like a true filipina its really eating me out.

[Piamed]

Hi maganda

I imagine it is happening because your family are concerned that you are being taken advantage of for the reasons you outlined, such as sleeping together. Others will be excited too about you moving abroad. Others still, will be wondering why its taking so long as they have seen or heard of many situations where the couple got married on the first or secon visit.

I think the only way you can minimise it is to show that you are aware of their concerns but very confident in your own relationship.

Tatay was concerned about the additional stresses that Pia having a foreigner partner would bring to both Pia and the family - perceptions and demands. He even stopped her from meeting me initially but once Pia assured him that she loved me and I loved her, he said he would support her, and he did.

Lola ko was so sweet the first time she met me. She told me she liked me but not to "joke joke her apo". I didn't and now we are happily married!

All the best!

[LEAHnew]

Aside from both of us being maganda, i experienced also those you've said..
If it comes from our family for sure they are really care and worried about our future,but from other hirit (opinon)
i learned to ignore them and gave them a smiley smug

Good Luck Sis..Stay beautiful

[vbkelly]

i never heard anything from my family and friends when i told them my bf wants to see me in person for a week before he came i already told him that i never stay with him in the hotel bcoz of what they gonna say to me (my family and friends)if i stay with him in hotel we just meet for the first time he said no problem and he knows the filipino culture.when he arrived back to Uk he asked permission to his parents that he want to marry me,then after that he propossed me in the phone lol then i told to my family and friends he wants to marry me as soon as possible then he was invited me to visit his family for a month to gave us a blessing before we got married.after 3months we got married in the philippines,we know our parents concern to us specially this stage of our life to get a bf ,getting married but what can i say is just wait what gonna happen next if our bf wants to marry to us or not bcoz we cant pressured them if they are not ready.anyway goodluck to you maganda and your bf

[maganda]

Hi maganda

I imagine it is happening because your family are concerned that you are being taken advantage of for the reasons you outlined, such as sleeping together. Others will be excited too about you moving abroad. Others still, will be wondering why its taking so long as they have seen or heard of many situations where the couple got married on the first or secon visit.

I think the only way you can minimise it is to show that you are aware of their concerns but very confident in your own relationship.

Tatay was concerned about the additional stresses that Pia having a foreigner partner would bring to both Pia and the family - perceptions and demands. He even stopped her from meeting me initially but once Pia assured him that she loved me and I loved her, he said he would support her, and he did.

Lola ko was so sweet the first time she met me. She told me she liked me but not to "joke joke her apo". I didn't and now we are happily married!

All the best!

This is so true what u have said They are wondering why the marriage taking so long to happen but i always explain to them that my bf is still saving money. He is not rich he is working very hard for his holiday spending money and for the marriage soon. This is his fourth visit this month, he comes here every 3 to four months. We are only one year in our relationship. We love each other so much, so true and amazing love. I dont want to rush my bf because i mihgt scare him away. I already explained everything to him and he understood. We chat everyday on webcam and my bf can sense somestimes that something bothering me. He would just guess that its about my family again. He ask me to stay strong for our love. I cannot argue with my family because they have a point but i just hope they will be confident with our love, that we will be getting married soon. sometimes i would think that i will not stay with my bf anymore if he visits here just to make my family at peace but i dont think it makes sense anymore I am so stress with my family, friends, and college I am studying nursing at the moment.

[Terrielicious]

Hi Ms Maganda, we are the same. I just answer them back if they ask me when will my brit bf will marry me I just said I dont know for now I am just using him for sex..

[maganda]

Hi Ms Maganda, we are the same. I just answer them back if they ask me when will my brit bf will marry me I just said I dont know for now I am just using him for sex..

as my bf always say "cheeky inday"

[pennybarry]

My family never asked when When hubby visited me, he just went straight to my Mom and told her we must marry soon. Mom said she is 43, right age. But she was crying because I'm a mom girl .

[keithAngel]

Hi Ms Maganda, we are the same. I just answer them back if they ask me when will my brit bf will marry me I just said I dont know for now I am just using him for sex..

Brilliant

[misscarie]

hello ate , i think just focus on ur sweet life together with hubby.Ignore about what other people say because it may not help you.Just stay cool, Maganda and relax. Don't rush the marriage , it will happen at the right time and place. You're 30 matured and strong enough to handle this kind of relationship , ur parents should let you to decide wateva you want in ur life to makes you happy.Goodluck.

[Mrs Daddy]

just dont let it get on you maganda as what everybody said ignore them and dont let people come into your relationship.dont rush him you might lose him just be yourself

[islander]

Hey sis maganda!

The pressure from family and friends is just normal.

Better tell them the advantages in not rushing marriage with a person whom you just met once, that's what i did before for them understand. I also told them about our plan with my bf before now my hubby, that he have to visit frequently first before we decide marriage, in that way, we would then know each other better & that we can really say that we are compatible & meant for each other before ending together.

Good Luck Sis & may love be on both of you forever!

[maganda]

Hey sis maganda!

The pressure from family and friends is just normal.

Better tell them the advantages in not rushing marriage with a person whom you just met once, that's what i did before for them understand. I also told them about our plan with my bf before now my hubby, that he have to visit frequently first before we decide marriage, in that way, we would then know each other better & that we can really say that we are compatible & meant for each other before ending together.

Good Luck Sis & may love be on both of you forever!

Hi sis Islander!

Its my bf's 4th visit this month. May i ask how many times did ur hubby visited you here in PI before u got married and hw long was ur relationship as bf/gf?

[ervenescence]

If they ask you again with regards your bf with those sort of questions and if you think its doing your head in. Just blank them, don't say anything and they might stop asking you again.

[andypaul]

hi just wondering if some filipinas here are stress or pressured by their family about marraige. Everytime your bf or fiance visits u in PI, does ur family always ask you, "when is he marrying you???" Does your friends, relatives and all the pipol you know asks you, when are you both marrying?? Or after his visit,,,do they ask you "is he coming back ,when???" or "is he serious enough to marry you??" or "are you not scared that he might not comeback??"

Im asking this questions because this is my situation family and friends gives me grief. I told my brit bf about these and he is surprise coz everyone is rushing him. I didnt told him about it i kept to myself until recently. I am worried at first because he might think im making up stories and rushing him to marry me but i explained everything to him the filipino culture. My poor bf is very surprise about it, he said its very different from his culture. He said he dont like to be rush because everything will happen soon. I believe him because we love each other so much. In fact we always talk about marriage, but he still saving money. He is coming again this month, and everyone including my family is asking if its marriage this time

Im tired of explaing to them and to my friends as well. Somtimes i will just ignore them. We all know that filipino family really interferes and everyone has a say. Everytime i say that my bf is still saving money for our marriage soon,, they would start to think negative. They would even say that time might come that he will be bored with me. Its really affecting me and making me very stressed. I have no doubtswith my bf i trust him and love him to bits. But hw will i deal with my family and close friends?

if family ask say yes and its the tradtion the brides family pay for it(which it is) they are holding it in the UK and have invited a thousand guests

Seriously though all familys nag like crazy about marriage, babies and the like its human nature.

Your both be ok

[Piamed]

Hi sis Islander!

Its my bf's 4th visit this month. May i ask how many times did ur hubby visited you here in PI before u got married and hw long was ur relationship as bf/gf?

I first visited Pia almost exactly 1 year after we met online. We met 5 times before we got married and I go 4 times a year also. On one of those occasions we met my brothers family in Thailand. I proposed many many times before and since but I gave my love her ring in Thailand 7 months before we married.

[jencha8569]

i was always on hotseat with fam and
friends investigative questions
i too was in ur situation before my dad
who is out of the country insisted that
chad would marry me and me out of his
hotel to think its his first visit. but i
explained to dad everything,the real score
and give assurance that the relationship is
real and that my bf and i loved each other.
luckily mum was on our side coz she
and bf talked and explained future plans.
now everything good we going to get
married this year.
dont worry maganda just stay as maganda
as you are everything will be at ur side.
dont rush on things just enjoy times
with ur bf and explain fam and friends
the real score.

[islander]

Hi sis Islander!

Its my bf's 4th visit this month. May i ask how many times did ur hubby visited you here in PI before u got married and hw long was ur relationship as bf/gf?

hey sis!

Having him visited you four times already just means something, that he is sincere & dedicated to you and your relationship.

my hubby now, visited me 5 months after we first met online, after that, he made 3 visits & the 4th visit was our wedding, the 5th visit was when he accompanied me to manila to submit docs & soon his 6th visit will be when he will pick me up after I got my visa. it was 1 year & 7months in a relationship when we got married, we both think that with our age, me 29 & him 32 at that time, we were ready & mature enough to enter into married life as we both want same thing & that is to have a family of our own.

Good Luck to your next step, for sure it would be church bells soon!

[vbkelly]

Hi sis Islander!

Its my bf's 4th visit this month. May i ask how many times did ur hubby visited you here in PI before u got married and hw long was ur relationship as bf/gf?

first meet to my bf now my hubby by text dec.26,2002 it was by accident when i was texting to my cousin she is working in LUTON as a nurse and my hubby live in coventry then MAY 12,2003 he was visited me for a week then he was invited me AUGUST same year i stayed a month here the SEPT. back to philippines to arrange the weeding JAN 21 2004 the wedding and finally by MARCH 2004 back in UK

[kentish]

hi just wondering if some filipinas here are stress or pressured by their family about marraige. Everytime your bf or fiance visits u in PI, does ur family always ask you, "when is he marrying you???"

Why dont you you just tell your family and friends to mind their own business because you are a big girl and can decide for yourself.

Warn them that if they put pressure on you and things did not turned the way you wanted they are to be blamed. Make them guilty thats if they still have feelings .

Good luck...

[maganda]

Why dont you you just tell your family and friends to mind their own business because you are a big girl and can decide for yourself.

Warn them that if they put pressure on you and things did not turned the way you wanted they are to be blamed. Make them guilty thats if they still have feelings .

Good luck...

We filipinos cannot just say to our family "to mind their own business" age does not matter. Big girl or not, they are always there. Its doing my head in especially my friends everytime they meet my bf they always ask "when is marriage?" Seems all the ppl here in PI when they see a flilpina and a white man, the very first thing they would ask "whens the big event or when are u marrying" My bf said the filipinos are nosey ppl

[telford]

We filipinos cannot just say to our family "to mind their own business" age does not matter. Big girl or not, they are always there. Its doing my head in especially my friends everytime they meet my bf they always ask "when is marriage?" Seems all the ppl here in PI when they see a flilpina and a white man, the very first thing they would ask "whens the big event or when are u marrying" My bf said the filipinos are nosey ppl

well sis, if i were u,dont mind them!go on with your life,in time they will stop asking u about it... btw, when will be the BIG DAY??? ...joke

[alicat]

if im in ur situation,i will just ignore them.dont say anything..
just smile...they might stop asking u again.

[kentish]

We filipinos cannot just say to our family "to mind their own business" age does not matter. Big girl or not, they are always there. My bf said the filipinos are nosey ppl

Why not? Pinay ako day. I'm a pinay. Its just a matter of explaining it to them in a way that they really understand.
Your bf is right though. Not all but most filipinos are nosey especially when they see a poreiner(foreigner).

[Piamed]

poreiner(foreigner).

Pooreiner ako! I'm a pooreiner!

[alicat]

Pooreiner ako! I'm a pooreiner!