Ungrateful so called family in Philippines!!

[aromulus]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to pss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted

I do admit your sense of humour is really good....

That is a sure recipe for family strife and grudges....

My two peso worth....

[keithAngel]

I do admit your sense of humour is really good....

That is a sure recipe for family strife and grudges....

My two peso worth....

Having read all about it on here I am just looking forward to getting it over with my humour is only matched by my obstinancy As my grandad once said "you can only spend it once"

[john sergison]

tell your family to go to the cinema and watch the film out now called caregiver.

it si about two philippinos who go abroad to work end up starting relationship and discover how hard it is to be abroad.

it might give them an insight into the fact that money does not fall from the sky.

most of my philippine friends here who have seen it say it is very good for showing it is not easy abroad.

[andypaul]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to pss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted

Best of British

[keithAngel]

tell your family to go to the cinema and watch the film out now called caregiver.

it si about two philippinos who go abroad to work end up starting relationship and discover how hard it is to be abroad.

it might give them an insight into the fact that money does not fall from the sky.

most of my philippine friends here who have seen it say it is very good for showing it is not easy abroad.

just saw the trailer looks very good

[joebloggs]

you can find a cam copy of it on some torrent sites

[andypaul]

you can find a cam copy of it on some torrent sites

It says on the trailer abs cbn so im sure it will be on the Satalite channel so im sure a view have recoreded it for playback.

The Wife was asked by a mate if she wanted to go see it friday by a Phill mate the way she said it was as if it was a screening.

[joebloggs]

well i wonder how many pictures will show it, seeing most of it is in tag

it will stero type brits even more, rich whiteys, have you seen the house the old guy owns and the posh southern accent his kids have, sound as posh as the queen and charlie boy

[andypaul]

well i wonder how many pictures will show it, seeing most of it is in tag

it will stero type brits even more, rich whiteys, have you seen the house the old guy owns and the posh southern accent his kids have, sound as posh as the queen and charlie boy

Looks normal to me but im from looonnn doonn

[gWaPito]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

I think you must be the true Saint Peter

[pennybarry]

We have opposite problem tish. I have never been asked about money by my family, BUT I have guilt feeling towards my brother who helped me in my college years. He's in Saudi for 25 years and he's got heart desease. I offered help to him many times but never accepted my offer. He said he can still work. That made my heart broken, that makes me feel cry He has already 7 door apartment, 2 houses, 1 vacant lot, eldest is Registered nurse already but his wife asking for more. I really feel worry for him, I do call him oftentimes begging to go home but to no avail. I told him to buy a jeepney and willing to send him some of my savings for his additional needs.
I do send money to my Mom and if I have no job, it is my husband who send to my Mom, that is his promise to my Mom before.

Anyway we must not give fish but must help them to catch fish if needed as we have our own priorities in life.

God Bless!

[Terrielicious]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

very well said

[islander]

very well said Kuya Peter..

I TOTALLY AGREE!

this is also a good thing to ponder on!

[22pilgrim]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to pss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted

I must admit that this is one of our (wife & self) concerns about retiring in the Philippines. Its bad enough on a holiday when distant relatives come out of the woodwork wanting a handout PLUS the expectations of closer family. Talking to many expats, its a common concern / problem. Best advice would seem to be:
* give / lend only what you can afford to lose and do not expect any of it back ever!
* as Keith says fund self sufficiency;
* give to only close family members;
* give once and once only with the sole exception of genuine medical emergencies.

I might also add:
* do not startup a business in the Philippines either by yourself or in partnership;
* do not get involved in any land / property arrangements / deals with family;
* do not let family look after / use your Philippine house when you are back in the UK / abroad.
I've probably heard enough horror stories to write a book!

Hope this helps,

Nigel

[Mrs Daddy]

I've had it with him!! I don't care how hard life is for him, he's no right to take things from me without my permission!

Absolutely correct.your just doing what`s right for him t tish

[KeithD]

Just give all relatives one of those multi-devices. You know the one, can colect water, be used as a shower, storage, even used as a toilet......and many more things.....they'll be made up......






....we call them buckets here......

[flomike]

I know its hard to be a filipino sometimes our family thinks that we are the saviour from heaven

I agree with 22pilgrim said: * do not get involved in any land / property arrangements / deals with family. I had an experienced like that my husband agreed that we continue the mortage of my family. We pay the 1 year arrears and continue the monthly ammortization (payable in 10 years). We send money for the house to finish and i am paying the ammortization for about a year. Then they decided not to live there bec they realized its too far ( I mean its not accesible to the town ). Which is really annoying

Then when my mother get very ill, I wasn't able to continue paying it bec all the money goes to her medication and hospitalization ( unfortunately, she died last march 2008 ).

So my family decided to sell the property bec I can't afford to pay it anymore and me and my husband decided not to get a share on it all as they need it morethan us here. But the thing is the money we used for the house is a loan so....right now I am paying for the loan for another 3 years more

[KeithD]

I'd never take out a loan to give someone else money. If I ain't got it, they ain't gettin it!

[kentish]

* do not let family look after / use your Philippine house when you are back in the UK / abroad.
I've probably heard enough horror stories to write a book!

Hope this helps,

Nigel

The best thing to do is build a nipa hut if in the province or the very basic house like a match box then ask them if they want to live there free of charge.They just have to feed themselves. Just tell them to maintain the premises.

[alicat]

I'd never take out a loan to give someone else money. If I ain't got it, they ain't gettin it!

i agree

[Eljohno]

I think being too giving at the start when you move abroad is not a wise thing as this then is expected to be the normal thing.

Your husband & children in the UK need to be first and then of course help the family in the Philippines. I mean Mother, father, brothers & sisters and only if you can afford it then the extended family.

I agree with what Keith said only send what you can and do not borrow like it showed recently with a filipino in the UK who went bankrupt because of always trying to help her family in the Philippines.

Pete has been around long enough to know how it works(not saying you are old mate ) and the truth is that its getting much harder in the UK and less money to spend or send is available.

[angel1231]

i know its very hard to be with filipino family but i think its ur wife has to deal with it...my husband always tell me if i want to send some money and i always say no..coz i already provide them something to make them occupied and business and i tell them to look after it ....the onlything that my family keep asking me is to call them everynow and then just to hear and talk my daugther not me bytheway.....and not to much to ask i think...gudluck to all married one whose still dealing with the family matters in the P.I.

[cheesewiz]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie

[KeithD]

...... I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off.....

If you were my wife, I'd make sure you also had a second job as well, no use lazing around when you can be making me more money to count while I watch the TV all day

[IainBusby]

You must be crazy, £300 a month plus the mortgage, it's no wonder they have a maid. I bet they find it hard to find enough things to spend all their (your) money on. If you carry on helping them this much, they're never going to try to help themselves.
Iain.

[kimmi]

If you were my wife, I'd make sure you also had a second job as well, no use lazing around when you can be making me more money to count while I watch the TV all day

[pennybarry]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie

Wish you have more and more strenght to support them but sometimes you need to admit that you are not helping them but tolerating them to become lazy. If that will happen to me I may feel they are abusing me.
Sorry to hear that

[Eljohno]

Surely there is something wrong with sending them so much money they can afford a maid - making them think you are rich, i see more trouble ahead!!

[Tish]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie

Pardon me for prying, but how do you afford all that on a minimum wage?

[aromulus]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie

This is not help at all in my books.....

You are allowing yourself to be totally exploited.
And thus denying yourself to your right to happiness.

I understand the moral obbligations towards the family in the moment of need, but it is very clear that you have taken the burden over your shoulders to keep them ad infinitum...
It is no wonder that they will not look for any work to help out, as everything is supplied to them on a silver platter.
Wake up and start thinking about your own life and future....
You are not a slave.