Ungrateful so called family in Philippines!!

[Tish]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks

[jencha8569]

if the issue is about money or something like that
fam or other people can be harsh at
times especially if they
having thoughts that it is easy
living or working abroad but
true facts is that everywhere not
easy to live or work especially away from
fam and friends. dad always telling
us that working abroad is hard,
sweat and blood are his investment.
so we have to think that what he
sending us is hard earned so we have
to set priorities in spending it.

u let it out ate tish maybe divorce
will do

[Tish]

I'm getting very close to doing so...

Thanks Jencha

[Tish]

It's partly my fault really for letting them walk all over me

I feel so sorry for them that I let them get away with a lot of things in the past you see

[jencha8569]

stories always have two sides.
maybe u been a spoiler or making
things as an obligation even if it
means sacrificing ur own side.
let things cool down a bit
enjoy urself and ur hubby

[Tish]

I don't feel like helping them anymore though

I feel like I've done enough now, and it's about time they learn to fend for themselves

[Tish]

Thanks for taking the time in replying to my thread anyway. Much appreciated

[Mrs Daddy]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks

I know how you feel tish.They just seem to think that our lifestyle here is rich.Try not to contact them for a monthand see how it goes

[aromulus]

I don't feel like helping them anymore though

I feel like I've done enough now, and it's about time they learn to fend for themselves

It may seem heartless, but you must make the family understand that money doesn't grow on trees, and life is hard here in the UK too.
You don't mind helping out, from time to time, but total reliance on your financial help is a no-no.

[Tish]

I know how you feel tish.They just seem to think that our lifestyle here is rich.Try not to contact them for a monthand see how it goes

Very frustrating indeed Mrs Daddy

I don't want anything to do with my arrogant and selfish Brother anymore

[jencha8569]

Thanks for taking the time in replying to my thread anyway. Much appreciated

ur welcome ate tish
from the beginning on my side
fam and friends know the real
score so i hoping in the future
things like this will be avoided
if poss.

as what mod dom says total
reliance is a no-no so give
bit of space for urself for sure
they will be calling for you..

[Mrs Daddy]

ur welcome ate tish
from the beginning on my side
fam and friends know the real
score so i hoping in the future
things like this will be avoided
if poss.

as what mod dom says total
reliance is a no-no so give
bit of space for urself for sure
they will be calling for you..

I know what you mean jencha but the guilt inside you is killing you.I couldnt say no to my family and thats upsetting to me and as well I dont want them to sulk for me

[jencha8569]

I know what you mean jencha but the guilt inside you is killing you.I couldnt say no to my family and thats upsetting to me and as well I dont want them to sulk for me

yes true when it comes to fam
we weak and soft coz we born
and raised with it.
if ate tish can handle bit space
for fam for realizations then it
might be good but we not sure
how both sides will handle there
situation.

i say respect and understanding
plays important role to all

[Tish]

My family are so good at making me feel guilty too, but now I really have enough of them!!

[Tish]

yes true when it comes to fam
we weak and soft coz we born
and raised with it.
if ate tish can handle bit space
for fam for realizations then it
might be good but we not sure
how both sides will handle there
situation.

i say respect and understanding
plays important role to all

My brother have no respect for me whatsoever! It got to a point that he's now stealing from me

[Mrs Daddy]

My brother have no respect for me whatsoever! It got to a point that he's now stealing from me

thats not good t tish Blimey get him be punish

[Tish]

It may seem heartless, but you must make the family understand that money doesn't grow on trees, and life is hard here in the UK too.
You don't mind helping out, from time to time, but total reliance on your financial help is a no-no.

I think that's where I've gone wrong big time by making my Brother rely on me for the last 8 years!!

[Tish]

thats not good t tish Blimey get him be punish

Well, if he does break into the house again, then I will diffinitely involved the police this time

[Mrs Daddy]

I think that's where I've gone wrong big time by making my Brother rely on me for the last 8 years!!

let him learn a lesson t tish.bad bad boy!

[Mrs Daddy]

Well, if he does break into the house again, then I will diffinitely involved the police this time

its the right thing to do

[Tish]

its the right thing to do

I've had it with him!! I don't care how hard life is for him, he's no right to take things from me without my permission!

[jencha8569]

cheating or stealing is a diffrent
story. if not punished he will go
further, i think its the best way
you can do have the police
seek for a documentation that
states his bad actions and let
ur brother sign if theres agreement
made like he not doing it again
etc.
lessons are learned in the hardest
part of ones life.

[ginapeterb]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

[Tish]

Bravo and well said Pete!!

And it is a never ending cycle of remittance to the family back in the Philippines for the majority of us (filipino) abroad.

I do feel like I've got a Mug written on my forehead when it comes to my family in Cebu, and all because I always share my "fortune" (or my hard earned cash here) to them. Because deep down, I always feel fortunate that I've escaped that land of poverty!

I may think like a westerner for most of the time, but in my heart I'll always be that abiding citizen of the Philippines where doctrinised into thinking that we must help them in the Philippines even if they cannot be seen helping themselves

And they will come a time that enough is enough for me, I just wish it'll come sooner for my own sanity

[Tish]

I'm glad I belong to this forum, as I feel like I've got another family where I can turn to as and when needed.

[IainBusby]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

The don't appreciate it, they seem to think it's never enough. If it were me, I'd let them go without for a while, 2 or 3 months should do it, then they might start to really appreciate it once you start to send again.

With regard to the brother, It's seems you've supported him for so long, he just takes it completely for granted now and if you don't give what he wants, like a spoilt brat, he just takes it, no worse than that, he actually steals from you. Help is one thing, but total support is a big NO NO in my opinion.
Iain.

[vbkelly]

Well, if he does break into the house again, then I will diffinitely involved the police this time

hmmmmmm a bit serious this problem hopefully solved it soon as possible whatever they done still your family ika nga blood is thicker than water

[jencha8569]

I'm glad I belong to this forum, as I feel like I've got another family where I can turn to as and when needed.

i feel the same, i am glad too that i belong
to this forum
an open family

[kimmi]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

very well said Kuya Peter..

[keithAngel]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to pss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted