Can't afford Visa Fee right now !

[ginapeterb]

In my postbag, Filipina in distress

Hi everyone!!

My name is xxx.. And I have been a member of ASAWA since last year…Im a member of asawa when I was just a single..Now, that I am married to a british.. just last year dec., 2005…I also read your many posts, and It really helps…
Im really hesitant to write you here guys, because I thought, I can solve it by myself and through reading of so many posts here, I can do it, but still not enough.. I just need your advice to help me through this..

I really don’t know what shoud I need to apply.. Is it settlement visa/ marriage visa Or visitors-sponsor visa 6 mos.. I don’t have yet child.. but planning to have soon…

My husband said its easier to apply for a visitor-sponsor visa rather than settlement visa.. Well, much cheaper than settlement visa.. Because we have plan if we can apply visitors-visa and approved, we have plan to get married after a month staying in England..

Sorry… my husband is from Essex, England…he was 40 and I am 28 yo.. we are both single and never been married….we have been together june, 2003
He is just only a simple ordinary guy working In a hotel kitchen…and im just only a simple girl working in a private co… I love my husband very much.. He respects me a lot..

Im sorry.. Im from Quezon City, Manila…my Province is Quezon Province, but I grew up in Manila…
Hope you can help me out thnking…I am really confused.. I don’t know what to do…I thought I can do or solve it by myself..by reading to other posts…who will help me my problem..

We don’t have also savings yet,,, since he is only earning 400-500 Pounds average..

I don’t know really what to do …are we qualified to apply visa or not? He wants me to live in England…as for me, I want to be with my husband wherever he goes...

Thank you for all who will patiently reading my post..
I need all your advice..pls...thank you so much...

[walesrob]

Hmm, a tricky one

[ginapeterb]

Hmm, a tricky one

Pass it to Ivor then hehehehehehehe

[ivor&mel]

The phrase "Don't shoot the messenger" may not apply in this case....

[walesrob]

The phrase "Don't shoot the messenger" may not apply in this case....

I think a case like this just underlines how some people don't realise whats involved when it comes to having a relationship with someone the other side of the world, it isn't easy, its not cheap and you will encounter hassle, heartbreak and more hassle along the way. When I joined asawa.org a long long time ago, Bob (the forum owner) has a clever way of making people read a lecture of whats to be expected if you choose to have a relationship with a Filipina, before proceeding the forum. Maybe we should at least do something like this here? What do you think guys?

[ginapeterb]

I think a case like this just underlines how some people don't realise whats involved when it comes to having a relationship with someone the other side of the world, it isn't easy, its not cheap and you will encounter hassle, heartbreak and more hassle along the way. When I joined asawa.org a long long time ago, Bob (the forum owner) has a clever way of making people read a lecture of whats to be expected if you choose to have a relationship with a Filipina, before proceeding the forum. Maybe we should at least do something like this here? What do you think guys?

Personally Rob I think its an excellent idea, but I doubt many would read it, and by the way guys I have not answered this e mail, I just get tired of them, so posted it for general viewing, when I get e mails saying to me " My husband can't afford the visa fee " I dont even bother to respond, I get these every week, Gina gets fed up of me reading them out, and answer them, I guess Elsa is the same Rob.

[ivor&mel]

It's very easy to let the heart rule the head, and it so often ends in disappointment and disillusionment. The harsh realities of immigration barriers are not something that people in a new relationship like to dwell on - until they inevitably come face-to-face with them.

I'm not sure about a lecture: is that like a "health warning"? Or CFO even?! If someone wants to join a forum, they'll just say "yeah yeah" to whatever warnings are put in front of them and not take the words onboard? Might create more of a barrier for spammers though Maybe there should be an aptitude test for people wanting to join? And we could issue a "Filipino UK Certificate of Knowledge"? Now... what could we call it...?

[baboyako]

I think a 'pinned' thread that explains in simple & broadly accurate (or a little harsh) terms what you actually need to pass immigration. and a warning not to go breaking hearts. just 3 or four bullet points.

all in CAPITAL letters of course.

if you duplicate the message in the more serious forums (yea..yea..) then that should prove the point.

[Eljohno]

Its true that at the start of a relationship between a British- Filipino you really do not have a clue what is ahead and before i met Rhea i had no clue how difficult it could be to be with someone you love and in my case it went smooth but for others it has been a big headache. I cannot imagine what people go through in the visa process if they have no website like this for help aaghh!!

[KeithD]

Best thing to do Pete, is right a generic reply for all of them, full of links, and set up an autoresponder on your site

[ginapeterb]

I Think Ivor is right, it would be very hard to impose a 'read me before you fall in love' of course in reality no one is going to read it, and if they did, they would not take much notice,thats rather like the Nanny state telling us whats best for us, we often go right out of our way to say ' Whats it got to do with you ' when I see these e mails, I feel a need to respond, then another part of me says, if I keep responding, this will go on forever, sometimes I look at the content and think ' This guy is a plank' or 'Can't believe this story' then I get an urge to set them straight, or sometimes just to give an opinion, Gina would often say to me ' Don't get involved' or 'Enough now' I remember back to my favourite one of all the time ' The Income Port' its ones like that that get me going !, the whole point of this is, there are thousands of Brits out there who get involved with Filipinos, I guess its not for us here at the Forum to dissuade them in any way, they make these decisions, most of the time, they don't think at the start about the practicalities, paying for allowances, paying for visa costs and trips, paying for repatriation, that sort of thing, but really, everyone makes his or her own decision based on the relationship they have, I guess our mission here at the Forum, will never really change, people will come on with their own story, we will continue to answer that story with our own opinions.

I remember when Eddie Basson set up 'British Marrying Filipinos' that is where I got the inspiration to build my website, you don't see his any more, it was up for about 5 years on Freeserve, I think he probably decided it was time to leave it to others, and had enough, that will probably happen to me at some stage no doubt, but for the moment, we continue to answer peoples queries, Robs Idea is great, it just wont get read !, hahahahahahaha

[ginapeterb]

Best thing to do Pete, is right a generic reply for all of them, full of links, and set up an autoresponder on your site

Yes I have an autoresponder on the site Keith, the problem is, these mails are not coming through the site, they are coming direct to my e mail address, which is on the profile.

[ivor&mel]

I remember that British Marrying Filipinos site. That was the only source of practical information I had before I discovered this forum, and thankfully I printed it off before it disappeared. As a complete novice, I found it very helpful in getting focussed on the issues to be faced. But it did seem to be out-of-date on a lot of things, and then it just disappeared. That's when I started googling in earnest and found this forum

[ginapeterb]

I remember that British Marrying Filipinos site. That was the only source of practical information I had before I discovered this forum, and thankfully I printed it off before it disappeared. As a complete novice, I found it very helpful in getting focussed on the issues to be faced. But it did seem to be out-of-date on a lot of things, and then it just disappeared. That's when I started googling in earnest and found this forum

Youre right, most of the Information was out of date, actually keeping up with it is very time consuming, going into the html and constantly changing things does soak up time at night, people just think it automatically updates it self, that would be nice if it did, whether my site will be available next year, I may switch it to Keiths Servers to avoid costs next year, as Keith has invited me over, then I am not too bothered about it, sadly its like a lot of things, the interest gradually goes away for those who get married and settle down, it comes to a point where you just out grow it.

[ivor&mel]

Pete, don't let your site disappear like the BMF site! Even if it gets to the stage where you can no longer spend time maintaining it, it's important to have the information available, no matter if it is "frozen". If there were other sites that were useful, fine - but there aren't. And if you get totally stuck for somewhere to host it, I could stick it on my homespace here at work: superfast link, no bandwith restrictions...

Ivor and Mel

[ginapeterb]

Thanks Ivor, thats very gracious of you, I will bare your kind offer in mind, its there until March 2007, it does not cost me so much about $100.00 per year, people soon complained when it was down for copywrite problems, so I guess you are right, sometimes also Ivor, one needs a challenge, I am working on a property page at the moment, in between work commitments, it will be a step by step guide to British buying real estate in the Philippines, I have linked up with a British guy in the Phils to write for me, so thats worth doing, the core information will always be there, but thanks for the support Ivor, for the time being, it will stay. best wishes

[ivor&mel]

Great stuff - that guide sounds like it could be very useful too

[Philip]

Crikey, I better get some screen grabbing done!!!

[KeithD]

Pity the IND don't do an RSS feed of there site, it would save everyone else who runs sites from playing catch up.

[leolane2000]

I guess ya all right!...hi! newbie here!...