She's a Catholic; He's not!

[Piamed]

Looking at some recent posts it is clear that a number of boyfriends/husbands on this forum are not Catholics and some are not Christians. So my question is, how do you manage the situation when your religious are philosophical viewpoints are different?

[KeithD]

Why would it have anything to do with a relationship? Never even been a tiny issue in ours.

[Piamed]

I believe it probably is not an issue where high degrees of mutual respect, love and tolerance co-exist! Where a relationship is occupied by two of the same faith it can help in conflict resolution.

[islander]

My hubby is also a non-practicing christian while I'm a very religious person. But in spite of that, it didn't create conflict so far. Coz when he visited me & i wanted to go to church, he supported me in that sense by accompanying me, although i know he doesn't have faith in God at all.

Just hope the support would remain the same when i live with him in UK.

[joebloggs]

I went to a C of E school, my dad was catholic and mom was a Jehovah's Witnesses

well i'm glad to say i'm not any of them, free from this cacophony



"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion."
Abraham Lincoln

"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."
Bill Gates

“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

“God has no religion” Mahatma Gandhi


but my misses put our daughter in a catholic school. and she wanted to baptise little joe, who hasn't been at the mo and he's now 20 months old, jokingly i told her i didn't want him to be ......... but if she does i'm ok with it.

its not caused any problems with me or the misses in the 8yrs i've known her, you have to give and take..

[walesrob]

Looking at some recent posts it is clear that a number of boyfriends/husbands on this forum are not Catholics and some are not Christians. So my question is, how do you manage the situation when your religious are philosophical viewpoints are different?

But then relationships are all about give and take, its not *just about religion. Elsa is a Catholic, I'm not, but I have no problem going to church with her every once in a while. I respect her decision to be a Catholic, she respects my decision to believe in whatever I want. I like to think that the world is better off without religion, but if people choose to pray to the Good Lord Almighty, I have no problem with that.

[vbkelly]

we worship GOD in different way so we can't judge to them but GOD knows who we are

[Piamed]

My hubby is also a non-practicing christian while I'm a very religious person. But in spite of that, it didn't create conflict so far. Coz when he visited me & i wanted to go to church, he supported me in that sense by accompanying me, although i know he doesn't have faith in God at all.

Just hope the support would remain the same when i live with him in UK.

I am confident it will amiga. Your faith is important to you and your hubby loves you and will continue to respect what is important for you.

Pagpalain ka nawa! Bless you.

[Piamed]

..its not caused any problems with me or the misses in the 8yrs i've known her, you have to give and take..

I agree with that totally. I personally believe that people focus on differences rather than similarities and that causes so many problems. It is clear from so many of your postings that you and your wife have a loving approach to things hence you having minimal problems and mutual resolution when you do disagree.

But then relationships are all about give and take, its not *just about religion.

That is certainly the bottom line. I feel that often religion per se is never a problem but rather the interpretations that individuals make and their decisions to act in ways contrary to the key principles of their faith is what causes many problems.

we worship GOD in different way so we can't judge to them but GOD knows who we are

For those that do worship him that is very true.

[skysky]

The only thing I will worship is my wife


oh and bananna and cholocate crepes, and blueberry pancakes

[Piamed]

Banana is a bloke on this forum. Chocolate, Blueberry and Pancake might be also - explain yourself

[David House]

My wife arrived in the UK as a practising Roman Catholic, and we even went to Rome soon after she arrived and she attended a mass in St Peter's. She still considers herself a catholic but has modified her views very considerably as a consequence of being exposed to the different, and more open opinions, in the UK. I am agnostic and, whilst I view all religions as historically interesting, I prefer to deal with things that can be proven rather than rely on myths and faith. As a couple we never disagree on such things and have had some good conversations about religion. My wife now regards the RC church's position in the Philippines with considerable sceptism and as a powerful negative influence on their progress.

[Piamed]

I prefer to deal with things that can be proven rather than rely on myths and faith.

Without digressing into a Social Science discussion you will appreciate that the relationship between myth and faith can be a tenuous one.

Additionally, faith is to those that possess it, as solid a source of proof as is perhaps tangible and direct observation to you. You see what you see based on your ontological and epistemological positioning.

No matter what one believes one sees and why one believes in what they see, it is possible to refute one's perspective based ultimately on a level of faith one has in something that cannot be comprehended without it. I may not have explained this as clearly as I want as I'm rushing to test drive a new car. Advance apologies.

[walesrob]

I prefer to deal with things that can be proven rather than rely on myths and faith.

Piamed is right, this is a personal thing and we should respect the right for individuals to believe in their faith, and you have no right to criticise that. However, I find it distasteful that its ok to rubbish or ridicule Catholics in the British media purely because of their beliefs not being in line with popular thinking. It stinks of a phobia, and I thought the UK was a more tolerant country than that.

[Piamed]

Piamed is right, this is a personal thing and we should respect the right for individuals to believe in their faith, and you have no right to criticise that. However, I find it distasteful that its ok to rubbish or ridicule Catholics in the British media purely because of their beliefs not being in line with popular thinking. It stinks of a phobia, and I thought the UK was a more tolerant country than that.

Good point! It seems we are becoming so intolerant; that's a shame!

[joebloggs]

i think people should be able to believe in what they want, but what i don't like is when thier parents beliefs are forced on to thier children.let the kids find their own beliefs.

as in my case, C of E school and forced to goto
Jehovah's Witnesses meetings with my mom, luckily my dad didn't force his catholic beliefs on me thou. like i said , i glad i'm not any of them, but i respect the right for other to be, if it's thier free will.

and i don't think their is much wrong with what david said, as thats his belief, a right he has, just as those who have a right to believe in something else..

[KeithD]

My wife believes.....I believe my wife.....it keeps the peace

[joebloggs]

but i confess i wasn't too happy when my misses told me, our 7yr old daughter had gone to confession i asked her whats she got to confess about ?

[KeithD]

but i confess i wasn't too happy when my misses told me, our 7yr old daughter had gone to confession i asked her whats she got to confess about ?

Having a Manc for a father........nothing much worse than that eh?




(He'll answer "apart from having a scouse one )

[Piamed]

i think people should be able to believe in what they want, but what i don't like is when thier parents beliefs are forced on to thier children.let the kids find their own beliefs.

as in my case, C of E school and forced to goto
Jehovah's Witnesses meetings with my mom, luckily my dad didn't force his catholic beliefs on me thou. like i said , i glad i'm not any of them, but i respect the right for other to be, if it's thier free will.

and i don't think their is much wrong with what david said, as thats his belief, a right he has, just as those who have a right to believe in something else..

I agree with you Joe that parents should not force their children into anything. However, I do believe that it is to be expected that parents would lovingly instruct them on belief systems and morals codes that they believe have helped them and will help their children in their own lives. For many that constitutes a religious framework.

Of course when the child is older he will have to determine whether he will continue along the road that his parents have taken him for himself. In line with biblical scriptures, the child will have his own free will and have to establish his own relationship with God, if that's what he wants to do.

My wife believes.....I believe my wife.....it keeps the peace

but i confess i wasn't too happy when my misses told me, our 7yr old daughter had gone to confession i asked her whats she got to confess about ?

Although a tradition I myself don't subscribe to, it is an important faith-related practice for Catholics.

Having a Manc for a father........nothing much worse than that eh?

(He'll answer "apart from having a scouse one )

[David House]

I mean no offence to anyone and believe all are entitled to hold whatever views they like, so long as they don't harm others. My own are entirely personal and I don't attempt to force others to share them, although I could make the case that some RC doctrine does harm people. In fact I rather dislike the fact that some people feel the need to try to preach to me or "convert" me to their faith, just because they feel they know better than me. Such attitudes can eventually lead to war! Tolerance of others will lead to greater understanding and peaceful co-existence. I also take the view that religion should be a matter of personal conviction and not one of national policy. It should play no role in political decision making. When a politician claims he has been guided by God my buttocks wince. You can justify anything that way. Bush and Blair stand accused. Separation of church and state is essential in my view and the Philippines would become much stronger if it were to happen there.

[kimmi]

It wasn't an issue between me and hubby..

[KeithD]

It wasn't an issue between me and hubby..

That's because YOU told him it wasn't so he shut up!

[Mrs Daddy]

same here...am catholic and hubby church of england but we both believe in God and he even attended sunday mass in PI but he never did attend church before in uk but still its never an issue to both of us

[Piamed]

I mean no offence to anyone and believe all are entitled to hold whatever views they like, so long as they don't harm others. My own are entirely personal and I don't attempt to force others to share them, although I could make the case that some RC doctrine does harm people. In fact I rather dislike the fact that some people feel the need to try to preach to me or "convert" me to their faith, just because they feel they know better than me. Such attitudes can eventually lead to war! Tolerance of others will lead to greater understanding and peaceful co-existence. I also take the view that religion should be a matter of personal conviction and not one of national policy. It should play no role in political decision making. When a politician claims he has been guided by God my buttocks wince. You can justify anything that way. Bush and Blair stand accused. Separation of church and state is essential in my view and the Philippines would become much stronger if it were to happen there.

I don't see any offence in anything that you said at all and fully agree that everyone has the right to say what they like as long as they speak not with the direct intention of causing hurt to another. Although I am not RC I do not believe that doctrines on their own hurt anyone. Only the interpretation and perhaps misguided actions claimed to be in association to those doctrines cause harm.

It is ok to share a faith if done in a loving manner. When my former boss and now close personal friend, had a nervous breakdown, I was able to overcome the cultural tendency to 'give him space' and instead share my relationship with God as a way to help me get through things, with him. Although he was an unbeliever, he really appreciated my communication with him and wanted to know more about the god I believe in, that caused me to be the person he believes I am. He has a number of philosophies and we regularly discuss them. I have a number of very close devout Muslim friends. We always focus on similarities and invariably discover that we have far more in common than it would initially appear. We only argue about football; he supports Liverpool and I Arsenal.

Certainly religion as a national policy would not work and is inappropriate as a personal relationship with God is required and God's word also speaks of free will.

It wasn't an issue between me and hubby..

That's because YOU told him it wasn't so he shut up!

same here...am catholic and hubby church of england but we both believe in God and he even attended sunday mass in PI but he never did attend church before in uk but still its never an issue to both of us

I can be described as a Charismatic Pentecostal and Pia is a Catholic. She understands why I don't 'believe' in certain rituals and traditions as mine is a purely bible-based faith. I similarly, attend mass regularly in da Phils and focus on similarities rather than differences. The most important thing is that we believe in the same God, pray together and are tolerant of each other's perspective because we love each other.

As we study the word more together we will find our own unique faith positioning as a couple.

[Mrs Daddy]

I can be described as a Charismatic Pentecostal and Pia is a Catholic. She understands why I don't 'believe' in certain rituals and traditions as mine is a purely bible-based faith. I similarly, attend mass regularly in da Phils and focus on similarities rather than differences. The most important thing is that we believe in the same God, pray together and are tolerant of each other's perspective because we love each other.

As we study the word more together we will find our own unique faith positioning as a couple.

good for you both!

[flomike]

My husband don't believe in having a religion too ( or GOD ). We don't have any problem on that all as my husband respect me and my belief vice versa.
Me as a pinoy being brought up by my parents from the beginning that GOD is exist. Me a so called BornAgain Christian haven't practice it for a few years now. But its always nice to believe in something rather than nothing IMO.

[Eljohno]

Yes i agree that everyone has the free will to choose whatever path they want to, as for me being a "Born Again" Christian is the most important thing in my life so for me i was only going to marry someone who believed the same thing as what i did.

[KeithD]

The Muslims think we live in a Christian country.....the government say we live in a Christian country.....and yet as you can see by the folk on here, we obviously don't.

[Piamed]

Yes i agree that everyone has the free will to choose whatever path they want to, as for me being a "Born Again" Christian is the most important thing in my life so for me i was only going to marry someone who believed the same thing as what i did.

It absolutely determines who I am!