Teacher: What famous disaster occurred in the year 1912?
Know-it-all student: The Titanic struck an iceberg!
Teacher: Yes and where did it occur?
Know-it-all student: North Atlantic!
Teacher: What month?
Know-it-all student: April! 12th of April!
Teacher: How many passengers and crew perished!?
Know-it-all student: 1,517!
Teacher: And what were their names?!
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bisaya went to the US to have his penis checked. in the clinic, the bisaya pulled down his pants and exclaimed: SAKIT DOK!
the american doctor blurted out: SUCK IT YOURSELF!
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man visits Chinese friend dying in a hospital..
friend says: "I TA GUAE YONG KHEE!"
....and dies...
Man goes to China to find the meaning of
friend's last words:
"YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!"
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Lessons in Logic
I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.
..............................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
So why practice?
.................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help
others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
..............................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them
speak.
............................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
.................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
..............................................................
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
........................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a
woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there
are two women.
............................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only
thing in
Life.
.......................................................
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
........................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
........................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
.................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
.............................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Then waking up every morning
...........................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
.............................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
..........................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
........................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say.......
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A Chinese & Steven Spielberg wer drunk in a bar. Spielberg slapped the Chinese.
CHINESE: y?
SPIELBERG:coz u bombed Pearl Harbor!My father died there!
CHINESE:but im chinese, not japanese!
SPIELBERG:u fool!japanese, vietnamese, chinese ur all d same!
The Chinese punched Spielberg.
SPIELBERG: y?
CHINESE: that's for sinking the Titanic.
SPIELBERG: but d Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, stupid!
CHINESE: iceberg, carlsburg. spielburg, ur all the same!
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WARNING: For Adults Only
Thing none knew see in die
The hill key none taught see in die
Last fog see in die
Fog must done knew see who one
Thin knee tea gas sun
Cash sea see in die
Who bought who bad
Bull ball money peace
In knee love bus knee who one
Dean act money in die
Key knee league see who one
The hill be no tea knee in die
Knee love as son see who one
Be thin see in die
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ice cream ba
tlaga ung
iniendorz ni
pacquiao sa
komrxal nya
na nestle
ice cream?
kala ko kc
softdrinks eh?
kc sbi nya..
"oh mga bata..
MIRINDA na..
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Sorry if it is corny.....hope some make you laugh though!!!
