why do I feel like this?

[wizzywizard26]

Hi all,

My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years, we will celebrate 2 years of marriage together on the 20th of July, Sunday we were having a bad day. I was making some bread rolls which went wrong and she was disappointed and anoyed with me as she wanted bread rolls for breakfast.

After all things had settled down she anounced out of the blue that I have NEVER made her happy. Clearly I was very upset and hurt.. I still am. She says she is sorry she said that but questions in my head still remain.

I can't understand why she married me in the first place if she was unhappy?
We have always got on well in the past and our marriage has been very good.

Should I feel hurt and confused? or am I just being parinoid?

confused,

Gordy

[Frances]

Sometimes we say things without thinking and we regret later.
Maybe she was just having a bad day.Marriage is a work in progress.Goodluck

[Piamed]

Hi all,

My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years, we will celebrate 2 years of marriage together on the 20th of July, Sunday we were having a bad day. I was making some bread rolls which went wrong and she was disappointed and anoyed with me as she wanted bread rolls for breakfast.

After all things had settled down she anounced out of the blue that I have NEVER made her happy. Clearly I was very upset and hurt. I still am. She says she is sorry she said that but questions in my head still remain.

I can't understand why she married me in the first place if she was unhappy?
We have always got on well in the past and our marriage has been very good.

Should I feel hurt and confused? or am I just being parinoid?

confused,

Gordy

Hi Gordy. I'm sorry about how you are feeling. I do believe that although said in anger at the time and she regrets it now, it is still worth trying to find out what was behind it; I suspect there is some cause. Don't make a big deal about it but do not ignore it.

[Ana_may365]

hi!we,filipina are like that sometimes.
we tell anything if were angry,and didnt realize that it hurts our love ones.
espclly [to tell u the truth]if our monthly visitor is nearly coming.
just forget about it!and start again,the married life is just like that.they say in married life if no arguments no Love @};-

[Piamed]

they say in married life if no arguments no Love @};-

[kimmi]

[KeithD]

I never argue....she's always right

[nigel]

It's only natural that you'll feel hurt, but imagine how the bread rolls feel? Get over it dude! I wish you well with your marriage pal! Maybe a holiday will get you both feeling happy again? Or a nice indian restaurant? You could have chicken tikka masala, poppadoms and............bread rolls!

[SephEan]

Sometimes we say stuff out of character, when angry. but i dont really think its right to say that, even if your feeling bad(big time) . I have to tell u the truth, if i were you i would really feel terrible about that. You need to talk to her, maybe she is dealing with some issues that you don't know about. Goodluck!! i know you can work it out. there's no perfect marriage.

[KeithD]

When the wife calls me stupid she means it


Luckily though I agree with her

[ginapeterb]

This is common for the Filipina, but hey, its not really about her being a Filipina, I mean after all, she is a woman right ! this is a womans comment, not a Filipina's they all say something like that, a man never makes them happy, but yet they are still with him, an off the cuff remark like this is all you need, my advice is this:

Take no notice of her, laugh it off, go down the pub, have a few beers, and wait for the phone to ring, it nearly always does, especially when they are lonely, all of a sudden, you are wanted back at the house...

To scratch their head, massage their feet, or rub their back its normally one of those, so you know what to do mate.

[tomm]

HRT works wonders

[Eljohno]

I still think you need to sit down with her to see if it was a comment she did not mean or if there is more to it!!

[robeth]

HRT works wonders

I already warned my hubby not to take me seriously about some drastic decisions and the strange things i say esp the special time of the month!

That woman only thing is horrible but it comes every month...but maybe menupausal is worse?


Chill out!

[Piamed]

I still think you need to sit down with her to see if it was a comment she did not mean or if there is more to it!!

I agree with that 100%!

[KeithD]

Why do women only get the menopause when in the West? You never here of it in most Asian countries!

It's a mental fix produced by the pharmaceutical companies to make money, same as the medication that is for mental illnesses, recent tests show placebo's work just as well

[Ann07]

hi..sorry that you feel that way..But dont be. Sometime we say words that we really didnt meant to. I sometimes say that to my hubby especially if im soo tired looking after the baby but regret it afterwards. My hubby just understand it coz i just tell him to ignore me if i say things like that.

[vbkelly]

Hi all,

My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years, we will celebrate 2 years of marriage together on the 20th of July, Sunday we were having a bad day. I was making some bread rolls which went wrong and she was disappointed and anoyed with me as she wanted bread rolls for breakfast.

After all things had settled down she anounced out of the blue that I have NEVER made her happy. Clearly I was very upset and hurt.. I still am. She says she is sorry she said that but questions in my head still remain.

I can't understand why she married me in the first place if she was unhappy?
We have always got on well in the past and our marriage has been very good.

Should I feel hurt and confused? or am I just being parinoid?

confused,

Gordy

hi gordy ask her if she's preggy maybe she's craving a bread rolls

[Tish]

I've been saying horrible things to my husband too , but 18 years later and 3 kids and we're still together

[Piamed]

I've been saying horrible things to my husband too , but 18 years later and 3 kids and we're still together

You make a great couple; he seems really nice and down to earth also! We were all stunned by your accent though; you sound like you were born and raised up North

[Terrielicious]

This is common for the Filipina, but hey, its not really about her being a Filipina, I mean after all, she is a woman right ! this is a womans comment, not a Filipina's they all say something like that, a man never makes them happy, but yet they are still with him, an off the cuff remark like this is all you need, my advice is this:

Take no notice of her, laugh it off, go down the pub, have a few beers, and wait for the phone to ring, it nearly always does, especially when they are lonely, all of a sudden, you are wanted back at the house...

To scratch their head, massage their feet, or rub their back its normally one of those, so you know what to do mate.

[telford]

I've been saying horrible things to my husband too , but 18 years later and 3 kids and we're still together

you're so lucky tish

[pennybarry]

Hi all,

My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years, we will celebrate 2 years of marriage together on the 20th of July, Sunday we were having a bad day. I was making some bread rolls which went wrong and she was disappointed and anoyed with me as she wanted bread rolls for breakfast.

After all things had settled down she anounced out of the blue that I have NEVER made her happy. Clearly I was very upset and hurt.. I still am. She says she is sorry she said that but questions in my head still remain.

I can't understand why she married me in the first place if she was unhappy?
We have always got on well in the past and our marriage has been very good.

Should I feel hurt and confused? or am I just being parinoid?

confused,

Gordy

Buy your wife a book which may help her.
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=8935

"Don't say bitter things when you are angry. They not only sting at the time, but they eat their way in and are remembered long after you have forgotten them."

[alicat]

Sometimes we say stuff out of character, when angry. but i dont really think its right to say that, even if your feeling bad(big time) . I have to tell u the truth, if i were you i would really feel terrible about that. You need to talk to her, maybe she is dealing with some issues that you don't know about. Goodluck!! i know you can work it out. there's no perfect marriage.

[patti1227]

As what Moderator ginapeterb said, it's not really about her being Filipina. It has always been proven rightly that people on a state of anger and depressed manner say and do things they feel remorseful about in the end. Talk to your wife. Ask her if there’s something behind her remark. Only the two of you can straighten things out. Don’t be confused. Don’t place your mistakes and failure on your head because it can weigh you down and crush you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view your horizon. Good luck!

[ash_joy2008]

hi sometimes we say things we did not meran especially if ur annoyed..but im sure she did not mean it...or i say its a womens thing..pls work it out both of you..

[David House]

My wife regularly tells me she hates me and that she loves me on the same day, sometimes within the same sentence. It all depends upon the moment. What matters are not the words but the feeling. You will know if she really means it, or if it is attention seeking, or emotional backmail to try to get something! My guess is that she was on a down and you were a convenient target. Husbands and wives are always likely to become the target so we just have to learn to read the signs.

[nomorericepleas]

My wife regularly tells me she hates me and that she loves me on the same day, sometimes within the same sentence. It all depends upon the moment. What matters are not the words but the feeling. You will know if she really means it, or if it is attention seeking, or emotional backmail to try to get something! My guess is that she was on a down and you were a convenient target. Husbands and wives are always likely to become the target so we just have to learn to read the signs.

absolutely. i get the same all the time if she's feeling a bit ratty with her life, and she has a problem. i get the backdraft. Don't take it too much to heart. It's hard to forget such things if you are a thinker and sensitive type. Her actions that follow will help you forget or give you reason to worry.

[andypaul]

Just have a look at the Dramatic romance many Pinays watch and read (pocket books and the like).

I think also problems occur if pinays in the UK dont have the social network which is so so important to them. Friends here and in phill are important for them to talk to in depth.
With out, all the minor issues will bulid up in to something not so pleasant.

Thats why like on Adys thread about season ticket it is so so important to have your own lives as well as the shared one.

[ANDRES25]

it's nothing serious... i'm sure things will go back to normal.. she's just having her moments . try to understand her....