The Manager
Roma, 3 April 1995
Y.M.C.A. Hotel
Dear Signore Direttore,
I am tella you story how I was treated at your
hotella. I am a comma from Roma as tourist to London
and stay as younga Christian man in your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no **** in my
bed - how can I sleep with no **** in my bed? So I
called down to receptione and tella: I wanna ****"!
They tella me "Go to toilet". " No, no I wanna **** in
my bed". They say "You better not **** in your bed,
you sonnawabitch!" What is a sonnawabitch?
I go down for breakfast into ristorante. I order bacon
and eggs and two pissis of toast. I getta only one
piss of toast. I tella waitress and pointa of toast:
"I wanna piss"! She tells me: "Go to toilet". I say:
"No no I wanna piss on my plate". She say than to me:
"You bloody hella not piss on the plate, you
sonnawabitch"! Second person who do not even know me,
calla me sonnawabitch! What is a sonnawabitch?
Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and
knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: "I
wanna fock". And she tella me: Sure, everyone wanna
fock!" I tella her: "No, no. You don't understand me.
I wanna fock on the table". She tella me: "So you
sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table? Get your ass out
of here!".
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I wanna stay
in this hotella no more. When I have paid the billa,
the portier say to me: "Thank you, and peace on you".
I say: "Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! I go back
to Italy! I never more comma stay your hotella no
more, you sonnawabitch"!
Sincerely
Enrico Morelli
