Just back for the P.I.

[paul2012]

Hello all
I've just got back from my second trip this year and have really fallen for a girl who I met last time.
I need some advice about whether she can get to the UK.
I've been reading some of the threads on here and it really doesnt fill me with hope.
She works as a bargirl and doesnt even have a passport yet.
She aslo told me that she's had some trouble with the police a few years ago, something to do with her ex bf being a drug dealer. She has to appear before some kind of hearing in august. The story wasn't very clear to me because of her English.
I can see that the marriage route can be long and tough but isnt there any other way? I had a Belorussian gf in the UK a few years ago who was here on a one year visa and she said if we got married she could stay. Isnt that the same for workers from the Philippines? Is it possible for her to come over here for work?
I'm in the process of buying a house with a mortgage and I dont have a really well paid job so i dont want to be throwing money at a situation that is going nowhere. I'd rather tell her the truth asap than string it out for months if theres no hope.

[ivor&mel]

Maybe you should wait for the outcome of the hearing? If she's cleared, it should make things easier. I think the VAF2 form is concerned only with actual convictions.

I wouldn't advise trying to get here here on a work permit, nor a visitor visa. Considering her circumstances, both are likey to fail. Give it another month or so till the situation becomes clear. But make sure she understands what the possible problems may be from the immigration side, and that you may have a lot of wait and preparation before she can get here.

[KeithD]

2 Million single beautiful Filipino's with no baggage, and people pick one with problems

[paul2012]

2 Million single beautiful Filipino's with no baggage, and people pick one with problems

I didn't exactly pick her.
You cant help who you fall in love with can you.
After meeting Rose I completely lost interest in everyone else.

[paul2012]

Maybe you should wait for the outcome of the hearing? If she's cleared, it should make things easier. I think the VAF2 form is concerned only with actual convictions.

I wouldn't advise trying to get here here on a work permit, nor a visitor visa. Considering her circumstances, both are likey to fail. Give it another month or so till the situation becomes clear. But make sure she understands what the possible problems may be from the immigration side, and that you may have a lot of wait and preparation before she can get here.

tbh I dont know if we'll manage to work through all this.
She has almost no idea how to use the internet and struggles with english.
I just know that I had the best time I've had with anyone for years and it's really frustrating that we're faced with so many barriers.

[KeithD]

Falling in love with a Filipino is easy......any Filipino.....because they are beautiful, slim, have good values.......then they come here and we change them into fat ugly Britlish slappers

To be honest, you could have at least found one that speaks the language, as the vast majority can no problemo, and she's basically a call girl, no matter what she says. (We've had this conversation with someone else on another thread recently).

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I'm standing at a distance seeing the real world, and most Filipino's on here will probably tell you to move on.....my wife's standing behind me now going

[rands]

Hi Paul,

All of us here understand how it is to fall in love and you're right we cannot dictate our heart who should we love. The thing is i think, as we all should do before we make a life changing decision as marriage, we have to consider a lot of things such as our prospective life partner's background, your compatibility, etc aside from the immigration issue which is supposed to be the last thing to face and resolve. Have you really known her enough for you to say she is the one?

Give it time and sleep on it...then when you know the answer...talk to your gf and tell her honestly the score.

Rands

[ervenescence]

Sounds a bit complicated to me Paul. You did mention that she has a previous history and something to do with drugs. We'll I tell you what, I dont think she will be granted a visa 100% considering that she have a record in police and drugs is a serious matter in the Philippines. If she want to get a passport, first she have to get sort police and NBI clearance as one of a requirement and once her name is clean then she will be okay.

Goodluck

[ginapeterb]

Hello Paul, I read your story with interest, you say your GF is a bar girl, this story is quite common, as you have said, its not easy when you meet a girl you really like, but sometimes the guys advice is valid, Keith has said, that there are over 2 million single Filipina's with no baggage, in fact in this case I agree with him, sometimes the heart rules the head when falling in love.

Guys go to the Philippines every week, and fall in love with girls that flutter their eyelids, the reality of getting them to UK is far different, and when the real life hits home, I cannot pretend you will not have a big moutain to climb, if you really want this woman, as Ivor has said, you really have to see what is the result of the court case, if this lady says, she is involved in a case in a Philippine court, I can guarantee there is more to the story, you dont know, and as for the BF, you can bet your bottom dollar he is around still ? my advice to you, is not to be taken in, and don't let this lady in to your life too quickly, time is the key here, now you have also stated your GF is a bar girl !, in my experience and listening to the woeful stories of many others over the years, bar girls find life very hard to adapt in the normality of relationships with a single person, there is an old saying in the Philippines, which regular Philippine travellers are used to hearing and that is this

"You can take a bar girl out of the Philippines, but you cannot take the bar out of the Girl"

Perhaps you might like to read my single male travellers guide to the Filipino bar girl at

http://www.british-filipino.com/survival.html

Bar girls tend to be conditioned to a life of personal survival, they live in a sub-culture of providing for at least 1 other relative, sometimes they are supporting more than one person, or they have a child to support, most of them have Filipino boyfriends in the background, some have a husband as well, most of the time, you will never know if this is true or not, and if you are communicating long distance, you will also never know, Filipinas who work in bars are the smartest girls in the world, I will guarantee you will get caught out at some stage, do not be taken in, by requests for funds, because of tales of woe and broken roofs, sick Caribous, school fees, and hospital bills.

Keith said Ping was standing behind him saying NOT THIS ONE....!!!!

I have to say Paul, my wife was standing behind me, reading your post and saying No......Not her !! tell him to find a nice one.

These are our Filipino wives, and they are warning you off, of course you will do your own thing as many do, but I hope whatever you decide, it works out for you.

Best wishes.

Pete

[paul2012]

Thanks for all the replies. I do hear you all and believe me I have thought about all that stuff too. I had another experience with a bar girl on the last trip and alarm bells really rang with her, (which all turned out to be true). I met up with her last week for a drink and she said she's split with her bf and spent the whole time trying to get me to give her money for college. I spoke to her on yahoo this morning and she's miraculously back with her bf and moving to california. So I'm well aware of all the lies that go on. I've also spent hours in internet cafes watching all the girls with 4 or 5 guys on the screen each.
Back to the girl I'm interested in though. I know that everyone is special in their own way and all the girls are lovely etc but I do think it's rare when you really connect with someone. I said to her that if I could click my fingers and take her home I would but I knew it wouldnt be anywhere near that easy.
I'm not naive about all this and i'm not in any particular hurry to marry anyone tbh but I'd just love to spend some more time with her. She did say that she would carry on working but that she wouldnt have another boyfriend until we could be together again. Seeing as i wasn't offering to support her, that seemed fair enough but its not a job I'm happy for any gf of mine to be doing. The relationship will more than likely fizzle out as I've no plans to go back atm but if it doesn't then I'll carry on pursuing it
The bf she got in trouble with was three years ago and I didnt get the impression he was still around. I know there's loads of lovely girls in the P.I but if its so much hassle to bring one home, I feel like I might as well put the effort into meeting someone here.

[Eljohno]

My wife is saying the same thing that you need to be very careful. The members here on the forum have give you good advice. I know your heart is probably ruling your head at the moment but please take time to get to know this girl before taking things futher.

I am not saying that it could not work out because of course it can but just take care...

[Eljohno]

Paul's thread got me thinking, what advice can any members give to let someone know that maybe the filipino girl they are in contact with are just using them to get money etc.(I am looking a general comment so that Paul does not think i am meaning this girl he knows)

One of the first has to be asking for money very soon after getting to know the person

[scotsfiancee]

Hello all
I've just got back from my second trip this year and have really fallen for a girl who I met last time.
I need some advice about whether she can get to the UK.
I've been reading some of the threads on here and it really doesnt fill me with hope.
She works as a bargirl and doesnt even have a passport yet.
She aslo told me that she's had some trouble with the police a few years ago, something to do with her ex bf being a drug dealer. She has to appear before some kind of hearing in august. The story wasn't very clear to me because of her English.
I can see that the marriage route can be long and tough but isnt there any other way? I had a Belorussian gf in the UK a few years ago who was here on a one year visa and she said if we got married she could stay. Isnt that the same for workers from the Philippines? Is it possible for her to come over here for work?
I'm in the process of buying a house with a mortgage and I dont have a really well paid job so i dont want to be throwing money at a situation that is going nowhere. I'd rather tell her the truth asap than string it out for months if theres no hope.

Be very careful Paul,you should know her well im not complaining her background but be wise:

[ivor&mel]

Paul's thread got me thinking, what advice can any members give to let someone know that maybe the filipino girl they are in contact with are just using them to get money etc.(I am looking a general comment so that Paul does not think i am meaning this girl he knows)

One of the first has to be asking for money very soon after getting to know the person

This site may still be relevant?

[Eljohno]

Great site Ivor, sums up plenty to watch out for........

[ivor&mel]

Now... just for balance... who's going tell the Filipinas what to beware of about UK men...? Apart from St. Mary Euphrasia, of course

[paul2012]

This site may still be relevant?

I'm taking all this on board.
Last week I spoke with Rose about her needing a passport. I spoke to her today and she said her mamasan had offered to get her passport for her, for the princely sum of 6000 pesos. She said she was embarrassed to ask for the money but I said there was no need for a passport at this point anyway so not to worry. I spoke to some people at the airport and they said a passport should cost about 600 if you go in person or 2000 if you pay an agency. I wanted the knowledge so I'd have an idea if I was being scammed.
What I'm wondering now is whether it's the mamasan who's just trying to make a quick buck or if it's Rose who's scamming me?
It's very depressing to think that the 'love' I was feeling doesnt exist but I'd much rather face the truth than get treated like a chump. How can I ever be sure though?

[ivor&mel]

6000? Have you had a look at the official PI passport site ? Paul, mate - I think it's time you jumped ship... You're saying as much yourself...

[Eljohno]

Paul it is time to jump ship as ivor has said. The only thing i mentioned about a scammer is that they will ask for money very quickly and this has happened mate. You will meet the filipino woman of your dreams and you will have the same feelings of love again but for now you need to take the advice being given to you. This is not meant to be harsh just an honest view of what i see going on..

[mrsfrivolity]

You were on holiday and you had a lovely girl in your arms doing all the things that make you extremely happy. I know she said she will not have a boyfriend until you come back but do you honestly believe that when in the same breathe she said she will continue to work in the bar? It's the same script for every Tom, Dick and Harry. She makes her money from every drink that was bought for her and even more if she is bar-fined. If she is lucky, she will find someone who will pay for her NOT to be in the business but man, it will cost you. The reality is, she could not afford to be faithful to one man, simple as that.

I'm sure there are other places where you will find someone who could give you the same attention you think only she could give you. Falling in love with a Filipina, getting engaged, married and then filing the visa application is difficult enough without the added problems of a dodgy background.

Godspeed Paul.

[fontain]

Look mate i`m not sure of the exact details of where you met this girl but it dont look good or sound right, move on, plenty more fish in the sea rather than in bars!

Good luck

[paul2012]

I know she said she will not have a boyfriend until you come back but do you honestly believe that when in the same breathe she said she will continue to work in the bar? It's the same script for every Tom, Dick and Harry. She makes her money from every drink that was bought for her and even more if she is bar-fined. If she is lucky, she will find someone who will pay for her NOT to be in the business but man, it will cost you. The reality is, she could not afford to be faithful to one man, simple as that.

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply on this thread.
I just want to put a few things straight though.
Tbh she was freelancing when I met her and she said she was going to work in the bar because she wants to meet a guy to marry. I felt sorry for her that she was pinning her hopes on the kind of men who frequent bars. My last night there was her first night at work and I went there and barfined her myself because I didnt want anyone else to.
I did believe her when she said she wouldnt have another boyfriend. Does that make me naive? I actually find the idea of her working as a sex worker worse than if she had another steady boyfriend. The fact that I wasnt willing to support her meant that she had no choice but to carry on working. I also realise that these girls get used to having a certain standard of living and find it hard to live on any less so they will go back to what they know best if they need to.
I am aware that I'm sounding like a bit of a mug here but I do consider myself to be a good judge of people and even if 99.999% of these girls are scammers, isnt it possible that a few of them are being honest?
I know what she does and I know about her past but if I'd met her in England it wouldnt stop me having a relationship with her because people do a lot of stupid things when they're young and they often turn into very pleasant, stable adults.
I'm not going to pursue this relationship though based on what I've read on this site. It just seems like such a longwinded affair and if it means we'll be apart for up to two years, I dont hold out much hope of us lasting that long, especially with all the other guys she'll meet in the meantime.

[scotsfiancee]

mamasan?

[KeithD]

Porn

[ivor&mel]

Beam me up, Scottie!

[scotsfiancee]

Porn

Its not a porn its a bar girl in Angeles. Think you know these place

[ervenescence]

Shes too young to be a mamasan, shes just an ordinary prostitute. A mamasan is their queen, an expert hooker.

[scotsfiancee]

Shes too young to be a mamasan, shes just an ordinary prostitute. A mamasan is their queen, an expert hooker.

Its actually from Mamasan workers

[KeithD]

It looks like a man?

[Pauldo]

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply on this thread.
I just want to put a few things straight though.
Tbh she was freelancing when I met her and she said she was going to work in the bar because she wants to meet a guy to marry. I felt sorry for her that she was pinning her hopes on the kind of men who frequent bars. My last night there was her first night at work and I went there and barfined her myself because I didnt want anyone else to.
I did believe her when she said she wouldnt have another boyfriend. Does that make me naive? ..............

Duh, yes!! She is a prostitute, working in a brothel, whereas before she was a common streetwalker, or 'free lancer' as you called it. In fact she is probably just crawling out of some else bed as we speak.

Now, there is nothing to say that a bar girl can't be a reliable honest loving wife, but the chances against it are many to one.

Her very job is to make a guy (The Customer) feel good, as that is what gets repeat custom, gets her a good tip, gets her a comfortable life. Thus, it is not a quantum leap to work out that she is being real nice to you because she is desperate to meet a husband to take her away from all that $hit. Oh yes, I remember, she actually told you that didn't she!

I can see your predicament: a young girl jumps into your lap, takes you to bed, does all that fun stuff you find so hard to get back home, then it is little wonder that you fall in lust with her.

All I can do is echo everybody elses advice and tell you to steer clear, or at the very least, leave it a long time before you make any attempt to get her a visa of any description.

And if you do go back to see her, definitly don't tell her when you are going! Surprise her, and just see if she is sitting quietly in the bar, waiting for the love of her life, or whether she is sitting on some other young guys lap/bed/face promising him all the things she promised you the last time you saw her.

Sorry to sound so cruel, but I'm speaking from years of experience: 2 years living in Phuket, 2 years in Singapore, 9 years in the Philippines.