am i being played? :( [Archive]

jam07

25th June 2009, 08:18

Hi everyone. I've been sad for nearly two weeks now. Its getting too heavy on me already and I need to let this out of my chest. :(

I dont know what went wrong. He suddenly stopped communicating. He told me to give him a week to purchase or fix his pc and I did wait for that but its more than a week now. I sent him text asking him to speak to me but I got no reply. I even email him but got no reply either. We never had a fight before this. The last time we talked he told me to 'never give up on him'
and I will not because I love him so much and I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him but its more than a week now and his silence is driving me mad and this is hurting me too much. I am in the dark here. I dont know
if I should still wait for him or maybe i am looking like a fool already, waiting for no one. I dont know if he got sick or much worse, dead. I dont know if i should move on already. I never played at our relationship nor in any relationship that I had. I loved him genuinely. I sent him an email telling him that I will wait till Friday. If I didnt hear from him, if I got no calls, text or email, then I have to move on. So now I am still hoping that he will show up and talk to me again.

I've been reading so much great stories here about loving, meeting and finally being with the one she/he love and its making me jealous. Makes me wonder where can I find such nice guys. I thought my love story with my british bloke would end up like you guys but I guess not for me.
This is the first time I had a long distance relationship and I never thought it would be this hard. There are stories here about filipina's who just played with her brit bf well, maybe I am the counterpart.

Is it normal for brits to do that? Its kind of rude to just leave without saying a word dont you think? I thought brits are born gentleman?

aromulus

25th June 2009, 08:24

Hi everyone. I've been sad for nearly two weeks I am in the dark here. I dont know
if I should still wait for him or maybe i am looking like a fool already, waiting for no one. I dont know if he got sick or much worse, dead. I dont know if i should move on already. I never played at our relationship nor in any relationship that I had. I loved him genuinely. I sent him an email telling him that I will wait till Friday. If I didnt hear from him, if I got no calls, text or email, then I have to move on. So now I am still hoping that he will show up and talk to me again.

?

Ultimatums never go down very well.....:NoNo:

There could be genuine reasons why he cannot contact you.:Erm:
Can't imagine which ones tho.....

Just don't despair just yet, try to keep in touch and see if you can get an answer.
For all we know, he could have lost his job and too ashamed to say anything until he gets another one.....:Erm:

Cheer up.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

KeithD

25th June 2009, 08:33

I've been reading so much great stories here about loving, meeting and finally being with the one she/he love and its making me jealous.
You haven't read them all then, most have problems at some stage.....Read Fity's posts yesterday :omg: ........knocked Eastenders off top spot that one :xxgrinning--00xx3:

British guys can be stubborn, but we also have a habit of dumping folk by just moving on and never contacting again, saves giving an explanation. :rolleyes:

aryM

25th June 2009, 08:34

Hello Jam,.. my friend here had experienced the same thing before, her boyfriend had an accident and was not able to leave any message. I know how it hurts. I am not saying that the same thing might have happened to your bf, maybe there are some circumstances that can't be avoided. You said you have emailed him and wait for a reply this Friday, just wait for it and don't stop praying. Have you tried calling him...? I don't think its the right time to give up and say start moving on. Just trust in his words, and lift it all to God. Ask some signs.

maria_and_matt

25th June 2009, 08:41

try calling his mobile, if it rings move on.... u have sent him a text and in theory he should have read that. the emails and chat might be down to his pc not working or something.

jam07

25th June 2009, 08:50

jam07

25th June 2009, 08:52

try calling his mobile, if it rings move on.... u have sent him a text and in theory he should have read that. the emails and chat might be down to his pc not working or something.

thanks maria and matt, I will give him a call tom early morning and we'll see then... :(

jam07

25th June 2009, 09:27

Ultimatums never go down very well.....:NoNo:

There could be genuine reasons why he cannot contact you.:Erm:
Can't imagine which ones tho.....

Just don't despair just yet, try to keep in touch and see if you can get an answer.
For all we know, he could have lost his job and too ashamed to say anything until he gets another one.....:Erm:

Cheer up.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

thanks aromolus
honestly, I dont know if that ultimatum will ever happen because i feel i can still hold on. For how long? that i dont know... i hope he shows up soon :( i am missin' him so much....

Mrs.JMajor

25th June 2009, 09:31

..Read Fity's posts yesterday
Yesterday forum was really alive about "his thread" and the "fart" as well, so I ask myself what would be interesting topic today and when I log on,saw this thread and I said "oh my gulay"

Anyhow jam, wait and see, since you said friday,lets wait till friday, to comfort you, and its a fact that most (especially) the british guy here in the forum are genuinely gentleman and the way they love thier filipina wife are amazing. No doubt, so to be fair dont give up that easily since he said he will fix his pc, not that long thou, keep calm jam, I do understand how you feel.

maria_and_matt

25th June 2009, 09:32

thanks maria and matt, I will give him a call tom early morning and we'll see then... :(

try calling now.. its 930 here he should be at work:)... miss call only if you little load ka lg..

jam07

25th June 2009, 09:44

god i hope he doesnt had an accident... he's a civil engineer... :((

Les_lady888

25th June 2009, 10:17

He told u that pc is broken so maybe the reason why u and him cant chat nor can he reply your emails.....lets say his pc got worst so it takes him maybe more than a week or maybe a month to fix it or replace it...

I think it's a good idea that u call him instead and hopefully u can reach him. If not, just keep on trying. Better not dwell on negative thoughts. For all you know, he might be knocking on your door next morning :) (to dream is free so dream big):Hellooo:

KeithD

25th June 2009, 10:28

He told u that pc is broken so maybe the reason why u....
Doesn't stop text messages though does it? :Erm:

estherboaz

25th June 2009, 10:31

hello jam. it happened to me before.actually he did not communicate with me for 2 weeks.i was worried and many thoughts came in my mind.i felt the same.gave ultimatum, sent text messages and emails.my emails nearly reached 100...only to find out he was hospitalized.

Ana_may365

25th June 2009, 10:35

hiya!,just give him a chance to explain it to u why,whats happened?dont think too:Erm::Erm::Erm: much coz u only give ur self a heartache:bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:.dont be very weak in ur relations,if u really2x love him wait for his explanation or side,ok?:D

Les_lady888

25th June 2009, 10:59

Doesn't stop text messages though does it? :Erm:

Hmmm...maybe he doesn't have a load??? ooops i mean mobile credits ok :D

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 11:09

No "Load" and he is a civil engineer :cwm24: Most people here have contract phones,you dont need a load,you just pay your monthly tariff :xxgrinning--00xx3:

maria_and_matt

25th June 2009, 12:02

Hmmm...maybe he doesn't have a load??? ooops i mean mobile credits ok :D

i dont think load is the issue here...:cwm34:

bornatbirth

25th June 2009, 12:10

while chatting to my wife i went a few weeks without a laptop and i think it drove her mad,my pc needed replacing.

my wife got some load and phoned me every few days,so i really dont know the reason why your bf didnt text you back???

maybe try phoning and texting him telling him how you feel about having no contact??

nigel

25th June 2009, 14:55

Mrs Daddy

25th June 2009, 16:13

Florge

25th June 2009, 18:03

Maybe he hasn't bought a new pc yet? Don't fret too much about it. Just let him be.. and I have to agree with Aramolus that ultimatums (at most times) don't work specially in LDRs since anyone can simply disappear... my last bf (not the one I have now) disappeared for a month! and well... it obviously didn't work eventually as I have realized how much fun life is without him... LOL...

Glad I found my Simon though... but I didn't go looking... he found his way to me.. hehehe...

Arthur Little

25th June 2009, 18:08

British guys can be stubborn, but we also have a habit of dumping folk by just moving on and never contacting again, saves giving an explanation. :rolleyes:

well sad but true some foriegners do this thing really by making some excuses because they dont want to hurt their filipina gf by telling its over ... and its not fair for them really...

I've taken the liberty of linking these two separate responses in my reply because, together, they seem to sum-up perfectly, an attitude that, sadly, all too often prevails with a certain TYPE of male OR female and can be found practically anywhere in the world. Such individuals invariably take "the coward's way out" of a difficult situation by choosing to ignore its existence - usually through lack of contact - on the pretext of "not wanting to hurt another's feelings ... etc., etc.". Piffle! Postponing the inevitable can only serve to prolong the agony :Brick: [for the unfortunate person anxiously awaiting news] leading, in turn, to further unnecessary heartache.

NO ... it ISN'T fair! And, in my estimation, THAT sort of behaviour amounts to nothing less than mental cruelty! :doh

Arthur Little

25th June 2009, 18:19

... but we also have a habit of dumping folk by just moving on and never contacting again, saves giving an explanation. :rolleyes:

SOME do, admittedly ... But NOT ALL, :NoNo: Keith!

KeithD

25th June 2009, 18:31

SOME do, admittedly ... But NOT ALL, :NoNo: Keith!
You don't come from Liverpool do you? :icon_lol:

Travellor

25th June 2009, 19:12

jam07

25th June 2009, 19:19

You didn't say how old the guy is Jam...if he's still young his family may still have a big influence on him...

When I was planning to marry my Vimvie I didn't tell my family for a long time 'cause they can be interfering and controlling! Perhaps try to talk me out of it!?:doh

It's just a suggestion of what may have happened...:Erm:

Don't feel hurt, we're all your friends here!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Hi Nigel... he is 46 years old and divorced so I think family interferance is not a huge issue.. i just dont know what happened. We never had a fight or tampuhan before that and I didnt see it coming. there were no signs that he will leave like that at all... :(

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 19:25

In his late 40's?Already been through a divorce yet he cant be botherd nor hasnt the decency to contact you?I think you should steel yourself for whats probably going to happen,as pinays say,collect and select :NoNo:He might have another :ARsurrender:

jam07

25th June 2009, 19:33

I think it is rather unfair to treat someone like this.
Is it too much trouble to pick the phone up?
There is no reason for him not to pass a message on to his Honey.

I hope all does go well 4 u though and there is a genuine reason for this.

Don't never be put off by Brits, loads of genuine great guys waiting to be with filapina's

best of luck

Hi Travellor. I find it rude and I dont think I deserve such treatment because I never did anything bad to him. I did love him with all my heart and I never fool him on anything... i dont want to end up broken hearted again...

jam07

25th June 2009, 19:40

well sad but true some foriegners do this thing really by making some excuses because they dont want to hurt their filipina gf by telling its over and I am not telling you jam that yours like this.Its just that some of my friend suffered this experience and its not fair for them really...

Hi Mrs. Daddy :) but the funny thing is, we never had a fight before this happend and there are no signs that he will leave just like that... it is really not fair :(

jam07

25th June 2009, 19:44

He might have another :ARsurrender:

oh no! :bigcry: :bigcry: :bigcry:

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 19:47

I am just being realistic,would you rather I said he is incommunicado through no fault of his own?Or would you rather have realism?When I was checking my mail in Pinas in internet cafes I foten saw pinays with several windows open on their screens chatting to multiplicities of guys telling each he was the one etc,etc,etc collect and select right?Guys do it as well :Erm: some of them its an ego boost,some of them are just looking for that special one so chat to several ladies at once.

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 20:16

I think you already have a gut-feeling,female intuition etc anyway because of your title "Am I being played" :ARsurrender:

Sophie

25th June 2009, 20:33

Hi Mrs. Daddy :) but the funny thing is, we never had a fight before this happend and there are no signs that he will leave just like that... it is really not fair :(

Hi jam, sorry for what you're going through......
Anyway, are you 100% sure there are no signs or anything different before he stopped communicating with you?
Sometimes we only see what we want to see.....
As you know, not all signs are bad like fights, tampo and all sorts....
sometimes its the other way around...... when he is extra nice than usual,
that can also be a sign....he is actually preparing for a good exit...
then he will just vanished...but that's just my opinion

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 20:40

Its true,a dose of realism,we could sugar it up and say oh no,he must be very busy,he hasnt a mode or means of communication,he loves you,your the one etc,etc,etc or we can be realistic adults,and say from an outsiders perspective looks like he has jumped ship :Erm: Missing in action :Erm:

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 20:42

Can I just add if ever I get dumped please dont be so honest or brutal,say nice things just so I can cling to a vestige of hope :ARsurrender:

Pepe n Pilar

25th June 2009, 20:52

I have heard a story related to that. A filipina was in relationship with a foreigner for 8 months. They have met online and did chatting, sending emails and calls as well. She said he calls her every weekend and chats and emails each other during the week. Sometimes when he calls he even talked to her aunt, sister and cousin for she was staying with her relatives. Then after 4 mos of communication he planned to visit her in the Phils. On the 8th month of the relationship which is the due time he will be travelling to visit her she received a call from her fiance's son. His son told her that his Dad had died due to heart failure. That was the end of the story. :D:ARsurrender:
She said she doesn't know if it's the truth or not.:Erm:
In your case Jam07 you may wait for at least 2 wks and see if he will contact you. Let your instinct work. I just hope for the best.

I agree with Sophie's last 2 lines:

It can also be a sign he is actually preparing a good exit...
then he will just vanish..

Cheers!:)

jam07

25th June 2009, 20:53

Hi jam, sorry for what you're going through......
Anyway, are you 100% sure there are no signs or anything different before he stopped communicating with you?
Sometimes we only see what we want to see.....
As you know, not all signs are bad like fights, tampo and all sorts....
sometimes its the other way around...... when he is extra nice than usual,
that can also be a sign....he is actually preparing a good exit...
then he will just vanished...but that's just my opinion

Hi Sophie. I dont know what to think anymore its just that this is hurting me too much :( ... i will give him a call tomorrow and will see if he will answer the call. If he drop the call on me, then its time to move on I guess...

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 20:59

Thats the problem with LDR's,easier to break off than up close and personals,just delete the number and never call again,theres a lot of sad stories on both sides,not just pinays but putis also :bigcry:

Sophie

25th June 2009, 21:02

Pepe n Pilar

25th June 2009, 21:09

Yeah two weeks is really a long time to wait. If a person really wants to stay in touch there's a moblie phone, a public phone or borrow a friend's phone. Or he can go to a library where there is an internet cafe.. :)
If the pc is not working then i guess the maximum time to have it sorted out is 1-2 weeks? (it depends)..

Even if you don't call him, he will do anything to communicate with you if he really wants to...

If there's a will, there's a way...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

:)

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 21:11

The guys a civil engineer,most probably he has a laptop and desk-top and works in an environment where there are desktops in abundance :xxgrinning--00xx3: thats the truth of the matter :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 21:15

Besides,we live in an age of miracles,he can send a simple e-mail from his cell-phone :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sophie

25th June 2009, 21:18

Hi Sophie. I dont know what to think anymore its just that this is hurting me too much :( ... i will give him a call tomorrow and will see if he will answer the call. If he drop the call on me, then its time to move on I guess...

Hi jam, if that will give you some peace of mind and maybe some answers, then go ahead and ring him tomorrow.....and see what will happen.....
If it's bad, then move on with your life.....you deserve better...

(by the way, when you were chatting before, how often do you chat or talk to each other?)

Pepe n Pilar

25th June 2009, 21:20

Since when was the last time you talk to each other?or received an email from him?

Sophie

25th June 2009, 21:20

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 21:25

Best ready yourself :ARsurrender:

jam07

25th June 2009, 21:29

Personally, 2 weeks is a bit long for him not to contact you even if his pc is not working......
he could atleast text you or call you..........
And also, do not bombard him with emails and text messages....you don't want to come accross as a bit desperate...
There's always a way he can contact you if he really wants to....
Besides, it will be hard finding a person who doesn't want to be found....
it's just like waking a person up who is not really asleep but only pretending to be asleep....
I suggest you let him be and do not obsess about it and do not wallow in misery about this guy.....
just live your life and have fun with what you have now and keep your self busy......
bond with your family and your friends, focus on your job and keep your mind occupied....
If one day he suddenly re-appeared, listen to what he has to say and his reasons for being gone without keeping in touch.....
Then that's when you decide if his reasons are valid or not....

the last time I emailed and text him is last Monday 6/22. But a week before that, I send offline messages for him just to let him know that I am still here. The reason I did that is because he told me to give him a week to get a new pc. So when he get back online the next week, he will see my offline messages and know that I am still here. The only reason why I email him is because I want him to tell me straight away if he doesnt want me anymore so i will not endure the agony of waiting for him. I also dont like to look like a fool waiting for no one. I dont want to waste my time waiting. If he doesnt want me, I'll immediately let go and move on. Moving on is not an easy task, but I know I can do it. There will be no pulling of sleeves. Ma-pride din ako. I dont want to beg. All I wanted for him to do, is to tell it to my face. I would rather have that than being like this.... I know I can get through this but for now, its really hurting me because I did love him...

Sophie

25th June 2009, 21:29

Best ready yourself :ARsurrender:

Yeah.......
hope for the best, expect for the worst.........

Ji&Ma

25th June 2009, 21:31

Hi Jam - I don't mean to be scarecrow, but is there any possibility that something is actually wrong with him - accident, illness or something???
Do you have any other means of contact? Not directly with him but to his family or friends?:Erm:
If you do, it might be worth to try to phone them/e-mail them and ask if they know his whereabouts or if there is actually something wrong there.
Otherwise it is very weird he would drop you like an piece of rubbish. No one deserves to be treated this way and I would say honesty is always the best way how to treat others. Even if it hurts - because the pain will go away through the time but in shorter time than when left with uncertainty and broken heart...
Wish you good luck...

jam07

25th June 2009, 21:32

Best ready yourself :ARsurrender:

I am starting to... :)

Sophie

25th June 2009, 21:40

the last time I emailed and text him is last Monday 6/22. But a week before that, I send offline messages for him just to let him know that I am still here. The reason I did that is because he told me to give him a week to get a new pc. So when he get back online the next week, he will see my offline messages and know that I am still here. The only reason why I email him is because I want him to tell me straight away if he doesnt want me anymore so i will not endure the agony of waiting for him. I also dont like to look like a fool waiting for no one. I dont want to waste my time waiting. If he doesnt want me, I'll immediately let go and move on. Moving on is not an easy task, but I know I can do it. There will be no pulling of sleeves. Ma-pride din ako. I dont want to beg. All I wanted for him to do, is to tell it to my face. I would rather have that than being like this.... I know I can get through this but for now, its really hurting me because I did love him...

Exactly jam.....i know you just need some concrete answers and not be left in the dark wondering.....
I hope you'll find some answers when you ring him tomorrow....
If it's good, then i'm happy for you.......
If it's bad, i'm sure you can handle it,
i take it you're a brave and confident woman.....
I'm sure you will do fine in case this one don't work out....

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 21:41

Reality is always a bitter pill to swallow but sweetens with the passage of time :xxgrinning--00xx3:

charlwill

25th June 2009, 21:47

Hi Jam, what a heartbreaking situation you're in right now. I really sympathize with you. You're situation happened to my friend. Geez, it's driving my friend's crazy. The man lost contact with her, for at least 2 months. No emails, no phone calls, no txt. They don't have communication. My friend really depressed with what happened. Well, anyways, to make the story short. The man was in contact again with her after a length of time. She found out that the man was hospitalized. He explained every thing to my friend and he have photos to support his explanation. So, maybe in you case, your bf had a reason why he just suddenly lost contact with you.

jam07

25th June 2009, 21:51

(by the way, when you were chatting before, how often do you chat or talk to each other?)

we talk everyday... around 4am (thats the time he gets up, sometimes 3am) and at night around 8,9 and 10... usually he talks to me till he needs to go to shower and then again when he's at the office already and then we say our goodbyes when he needs to go round the site already. Sometimes, he message me while he's still at work (as I am online almost 24 hours). At night, when he got home and say our goodbyes when he will eat his dinner and if he is tired and needing to go to bed already. Just not lately because he told me that his pc is f*cked up... thats it.

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 21:53

Easy,Jam give one of your friends in the UK his number,get them to prefix the number with 141 when they dial it,when its answered ask for the gentleman by name,if he says "Speaking" they replace the handset and at least you know he isnt hooked up to a life-support lingering twixt heaven and earth in limbo.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 21:54

Site office always has a PC jam :xxgrinning--00xx3:

maria_and_matt

25th June 2009, 21:56

Site office always has a PC jam :xxgrinning--00xx3:

and hospitals allows mobile phones now:D when i was in there 3 months ago i was txting away in the ward:D:D.. and they also have internet:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

charlwill

25th June 2009, 21:56

Sophie

25th June 2009, 22:06

jam07

25th June 2009, 22:09

I think I'd rather hear him myself. I'd like to see how will he react when he hear my voice. :)

Tawi2

25th June 2009, 22:12

Or better yet, give your bf's number to tawi2 as he also does private investigation on the side :D:D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol: :icon_lol:

Many a true word has been said in jest Soph :icon_lol:as for the hospitals allowing TXT messages,look at my pic,I am hooked up to 3 life support systems,am half way through deaths doorway,but I can still find the energy to tap away my epitaph before I fade and whither :ARsurrender:

jam07

25th June 2009, 22:12

Or better yet, give your bf's number to tawi2 as he also does private investigation on the side :D:D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol: :icon_lol:

hmmm.. thats a great idea :D :cwm12:

Sophie

25th June 2009, 22:14

we talk everyday... around 4am (thats the time he gets up, sometimes 3am) and at night around 8,9 and 10... usually he talks to me till he needs to go to shower and then again when he's at the office already and then we say our goodbyes when he needs to go round the site already. Sometimes, he message me while he's still at work (as I am online almost 24 hours). At night, when he got home and say our goodbyes when he will eat his dinner and if he is tired and needing to go to bed already. Just not lately because he told me that his pc is f*cked up... thats it.

Wow, so you don't only chat once daily, but quite many times in a day....
and then for him to suddenly stop and not show up online and no calls too...:Erm:
I can understand why you're feeling the way you do now....
I hope you get some answers tomorrow when you phone him....
Cheer up jam, this too shall pass......:xxgrinning--00xx3:

jam07

25th June 2009, 22:22

Wow, so you don't only chat once daily, but quite many times in a day....
and then for him to suddenly stop and not show up online and no calls too...:Erm:
I can understand why you're feeling the way you do now....
I hope you get some answers tomorrow when you phone him....
Cheer up jam, this too shall pass......:xxgrinning--00xx3:

We've always been like that for 6 months now thats why this change has got me by suprise... I just hope i will get answers by tomorrow...

I am quite okay now. Its been a heavy load on me since last week and Id like to thank you guys for comforting me and by giving me great advise. At least the heavy load has lighten already. thank you guys so much. :)

Sophie

25th June 2009, 22:35

We've always been like that for 6 months now thats why this change has got me by suprise... I just hope i will get answers by tomorrow...

I am quite okay now. Its been a heavy load on me since last week and Id like to thank you guys for comforting me and by giving me great advise. At least the heavy load has lighten already. thank you guys so much. :)

you're welcome jam.....you have a lot of friends here in the forum to offer you advise and hear you out......
and were all glad to be of help to you and happy to know you're feeling a little better...:xxgrinning--00xx3::)

MarBell379

25th June 2009, 23:48

As others have said it there may be a sensible reason. I was getting worried and pissed off at thesame time when I couldnt get hold of my gf fr 3 days. It turned out she was in hospital and called me as soon as she could get out and get credit.

If he had a way of contatcing you and didnt use it - thats another story and incredibly crass.

Mrs.JMajor

26th June 2009, 08:58

Or better yet, give your bf's number to tawi2 as he also does private investigation on the side :D:D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol: :icon_lol:
That good idea Pia:xxgrinning--00xx3:

I think I'd rather hear him myself. I'd like to see how will he react when he hear my voice. :)

Eh, what if she didnt answer your call (because he know that was you) as we know Phil # appear in the mobile when anyone calling from PI:Erm:

I will wait if I were you, few days to wait wasn't that bad at all, have fun in the forum for while, besides Tawi was here :rolleyes: to enjoy those lonely person:D:

Tawi2

26th June 2009, 11:09

I would never take advantage of a lonely young lady Mrs M,I myself know the pain and heartache of being collected,selected,and then........................Rejected :bigcry::bigcry:

lavander

26th June 2009, 11:31

Hi Jam,

I can relate to u on the feeling of no sudden contact of someone which merely part of your everyday routine.....

Did he makes any move now? any news so far?.... do u have contacts of his relative or so?, his mates perhaps?

merlin1565

26th June 2009, 12:49

You say you love him genuinely? For just merely a week without communication not knowing what might be the reason and now you want to move on. What do you mean move on...try to look for another bloke on the net? And your telling us that you love him so much and you want to spend yourlife with him...come on give us a break.

Patience please.....

vbkelly

26th June 2009, 23:42

just relax and give him a lots of time if you both mean to each other his going back to you, if not move on its not the of the world.

jam07

27th June 2009, 00:29

Ji&Ma

27th June 2009, 00:31

try not to talk to your girl for more than two weeks... i guess she'll go crazy over it, too
Hey Jam, how is it going - any news yet???:Erm:
Fingers crossed for you and good luck...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

jam07

27th June 2009, 00:47

Hey Jam, how is it going - any news yet???:Erm:
Fingers crossed for you and good luck...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Hi Jam,

I can relate to u on the feeling of no sudden contact of someone which merely part of your everyday routine.....

Did he makes any move now? any news so far?.... do u have contacts of his relative or so?, his mates perhaps?

Hi Lavander, thanks for understanding how I feel. Well, he finally texted me yesterday and guess what he said: 'ring me now'. what the... is the the only thing he can say to me after not communicating for more than two weeks?! god!

Just called him. He told me his pc is still down. He told me that he loves me.
He told me not to panic (well, maybe i sounded like one when I talked to him). He will be back online once the pc is fixed...

I dont know what to think anymore...
why are guys soooooo insensitive at times?! grrr!!!

maria_and_matt

27th June 2009, 00:52

why didnt he call you??? it is his pc thats broken and not his mobile or landline..!

jam07

27th June 2009, 00:58

why didnt he call you??? it is his pc thats broken and not his mobile or landline..!

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses! :cwm23: :furious3:

Ji&Ma

27th June 2009, 01:14

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses! :cwm23: :furious3:
This is very very weird and suspicious behaviour on his side I have to tell you...:Erm::NoNo:
Even if he's soooooooo busy don't tell me he can't find an odd five minutes (even less maybe) just to call you and tell you that everythings OK to calm you down???:angry:
Just in case my laptop will be broken down I would be trying to call my sweet mahal everyday and if not possible to call then txt at least...:furious3::Brick:

lavander

27th June 2009, 01:40

hi jam,

the least u should expect perhaps recving a text from him is being sorry for not in
contact etccccc... instead of 'call me now'!!???... I agree with Ji&Ma, something is not usual here.
piece of advice... give his own medicine, ignore him in anyways and see how...

good luck!

Jay&Zobel

27th June 2009, 07:41

:cwm34::cwm34::cwm34::cwm34::confused::confused: hmmm ... interesting...:NoNo:

I'm quite paranoid myself too, so I understand you where you coming from. Let's just hope he has a better explanation than (:CompBuster:) that...

nigel

27th June 2009, 08:17

I have to say I have the same sentiments as Ji&Ma and Lavender...Is it normal that a Brit guy wouldn't contact his partner for a whole two weeks? Well no it's not normal for us...It suggests to me that he's not all that keen..:Erm:...maybe this relationship will end in disapointment for you, but I guess there's no way of knowing for sure really.:rolleyes:

Be lucky!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

pacificelectric

27th June 2009, 08:26

I am pretty busy myself but I could not remain one day without phoning my gf in Davao, when i know I will be busy I advise her in advance and just in case I have a phone card in my wallet. Two weeks without a word and no cybercafe around, sounds strange to me! :NoNo:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 09:08

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses! :cwm23: :furious3:

He is too busy to phone you but not to answer you when you phone him?He is too busy to phone you but not to TXT you TO phone him?I think your thread title "Am I being played?" is a rhetorical question,look at it from an outsiders perspective,this relationship is going nowhere :NoNo:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 09:56

Well, he finally texted me yesterday and guess what he said: 'ring me now'. what the... is the the only thing he can say to me after not communicating for more than two weeks?! god!

Just called him. He told me his pc is still down. He told me that he loves me.
He told me not to panic (well, maybe i sounded like one when I talked to him). He will be back online once the pc is fixed...

That's it??? That's all he can say??? I'm sorry jam but this is a very bad sign.....:NoNo:
looks to me he is just trying to keep you around like a reserve and just leaves you hanging.....:NoNo:
while you wait for him to spare some time to contact you and telling you he still cannot get his pc fixed?? Oh that's so lame jam....:NoNo:
And he got the nerve to tell you not to panic??? :NoNo: How cocky!!! :NoNo::NoNo: i suggest you ditch this guy, he is so not worth it...
Just my opinion jam, the decision will be entirely up to you....

he told me he'e a busy man...

Obviously you're not his priority.....i suggest you move on jam.....you deserve better......
Besides, his sudden change and lack of time for you and his lame excuses could also mean he is slowly letting go and probably just being subtle about it :NoNo:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 10:07

Yup,sounds like your not high on his list of priorities,more like an afterthought,plus why should YOU be the one to phone HIM?Who is he?Brad Pitt?Which part of UK does he live Jam?Do some research on him,example has he told you his home phone number and address or do you just have a e-mail addie and cell-phone number? :Erm:

monkeyface

27th June 2009, 10:13

Hi Jam07,
I'm sorry to hear about your story. I'm sure there's an explanation behind his silence.
Sometimes our network providers here in the Philippines are not so good. There were times I texted in the UK, credits charged but no messages were received on the other end.
Have you tried his landline phone? Hope you hear from him soon.
Take care. xx
Monk

Sophie

27th June 2009, 10:28

If he really loves you as he says, he will have his pc fixed the soonest possible time
and no matter how busy he is, he will make time for it....if he really wants so bad to chat to you and can't wait to talk to you again...
But looks to me now, he is actually using the broke down pc as an excuse for not communicating and chatting with you.....
Think about it jam............

Jay&Zobel

27th June 2009, 10:33

:NoNo: How cocky!!! :NoNo::NoNo:

You're becoming British now [COLOR="Red"]Pia, Sophie rather... :Erm::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Mrs Daddy

27th June 2009, 10:35

Hi Mrs. Daddy :) but the funny thing is, we never had a fight before this happend and there are no signs that he will leave just like that... it is really not fair :(

Yes it happen dear sorry to say:bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:My friends bf just found someone he prefers and dont know how to say to the other girl its over:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo: but hopefully this is not the reason lets hope and wait as other member said there might be a valid reason why he vanish:Erm:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 10:37

You're becoming British now Pia, Sophie rather... :Erm::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: looks like it :xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 10:41

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 10:43

Nope,just the voice of reason :xxgrinning--00xx3: I bet you a tenner,make it twenty quid if you like that she hasnt got his home telephone number and address in the UK :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 10:49

i don't do bets, lol :icon_lol: just kidding :D:D:D
probably, but let's just wait for what jam has to say about that :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 10:52

Thats good Soph,never good to gamble,I was just testing you for weakness of character or vices :icon_lol: You passed the test with flying colours :icon_lol: I still have an inkling she hasnt got either,remember female intuition?Maybe my oestrogen levels are high this month because I think I have it :icon_lol:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 12:26

sunshine

27th June 2009, 12:37

Hello jam, if i were in your situation i would be very angry at him:cwm23:
It just not so right playing with you feelings like that, if he really loves you he would be sensitive of your feelings that you will be very worried not hearing from him for weeks!

I watched a very nice film last night its called "He's just not that into you". Seems your bf now lost interest or thinking about things or maybe he found someone else and he's breaking it to you gently:omg: Whatever his reasons, it is only you jam who can make the decision. If i were you i would ignore him and not contact him for weeks just like what he did to you, and see what happens. If you are important to him, he will do everything to patch up things beetwen you and he wil ring you a zillion times until you talk to him and he will say sorry for what he did. but if he will ingnore you again and not chase you, then its time to move on my friend and start to forget this man:NoNo: :bigcry::Help1:

Mrs Daddy

27th June 2009, 12:49

That's it??? That's all he can say??? I'm sorry jam but this is a very bad sign.....:NoNo:
looks to me he is just trying to keep you around like a reserve and just leaves you hanging.....:NoNo:
while you wait for him to spare some time to contact you and telling you he still cannot get his pc fixed?? Oh that's so lame jam....:NoNo:
And he got the nerve to tell you not to panic??? :NoNo: How cocky!!! :NoNo::NoNo: i suggest you ditch this guy, he is so not worth it...
Just my opinion jam, the decision will be entirely up to you....

Obviously you're not his priority.....i suggest you move on jam.....you deserve better......
Besides, his sudden change and lack of time for you and his lame excuses could also mean he is slowly letting go and probably just being subtle about it :NoNo:

Completely agree we`re trying not to discourage you or anything its just that as what members said there`s loads of ways to get in touch to you.Specially in todays technology you could have an internet on your phone and can access the net wherever you are, if he`s that skint he could pop in town and go to internet cafe.As what our friend say like the film she watched he might not really in to you:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:Am sorry hope you`ll get over this bad situation soon:doh

Arthur Little

27th June 2009, 12:51

private investigator talking? :D:D:D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Talking of Private Investigators, Secret Agents and such like, it's a great pity jam 07 couldn't have added an extra 'zero' to her pseudonym, e.g. ... Jam(esina) [Bond]007 :idea: Just a sudden daft thought that happened to cross my mind!

Seriously, though, I hope her guy has the common decency to contact her one way or the other ...

miss.piggy

27th June 2009, 12:55

Hello Jam...

I know it's easier said than done, but I think the best thing to do is just move on. Life is short, too short to be spent thinking about a guy who doen't care. Cut your sufferings. You've done your part by trying to phone him, etc. The more you do this, the more you'd get hurt and will continue to expect something from nothing.

Just think of this as one of the chapters in your life -- then now it's time to make a new one.

Hope you're feeling better now.

Mrs Daddy

27th June 2009, 12:55

Seriously, though, I hope her guy has the common decency to contact her one way or the other ...

Yez absolutely if he doesn`t want to be called COWARD!:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 13:06

Seriously, though, I hope her guy has the common decency to contact her one way or the other ...

Either that or she could just dump him and get on with her life, he's a complete waste of time :NoNo:

vbkelly

27th June 2009, 13:15

he told me he'e a busy man... god! excuses! excuses! excuses! :cwm23: :furious3:

you know what jam if your man loves you he find a way to contact you or send any messages that still thinking of you, work its not an excuse. My bf now my husband every morning he wokes up sent a text to me, before his going to work sent a text to me, in his break time sent text to me,when he got home sent text to me. everyday more 10 text i recieved from him and he calls me in the weekend five months before we met in person and no online chat.

Mrs.JMajor

27th June 2009, 13:26

So how are you now jam?

vbkelly

27th June 2009, 13:48

So how are you now jam?

still waiting puputi nalang ang bolbol nila lol

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 13:50

still waiting puputi nalang ang bolbol nila lol

:cwm24::icon_lol: Thats terrible :cwm24::icon_lol:

Mrs.JMajor

27th June 2009, 13:54

still waiting puputi nalang ang bolbol nila lol

:omg: Bhing :Cuckoo::icon_lol: you make me laugh so loud in there

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 13:55

Thats cool because one or two of mine are :icon_lol:

NtoN

27th June 2009, 17:32

Hi Jam! I've been to that similar situation some 3yrs ago. The thing is, he is pinoy but lives in the UK. We've been in constant communication for almost 3mos on daily basis. He calls me everyday of my life plus emails & chat which is also done daily. He was able to talk to my closest officemates & to my family as well. Then one day, I can no longer reach his mobile, no SMS & everything. In short, a total blackout of information from his part. The very painful thing is, after a week, a woman called me up, asked my identity & informed that she is the wife and this guy is here in the country . To add some more pain, this happened on the week of my birthday. I learned that they spend the holiday in Boracay the same day that I was also home which is not so far away from Boracay. It is truly easy to give advice if you are not the aggrieved party, but based from this painful experience, it is better that you move on with your life. When he comes back, give him a chance to explain. It's only you who can gauge his sincerity. If you are meant for each other, always remember that love finds its own way.

It is natural to cry. It is a human characteristic when in pain but we are also responsible for our own happiness. Everything happens for a reason. If that deception didnt happen to me, I would have missed the magic of being in love & be truly loved by my special someone now. Someone who embodies my mother's ideal man for me :)

Cheer up Jam! There's always hope...

Arthur Little

27th June 2009, 18:30

:omg: Bhing :Cuckoo::icon_lol: you make me laugh so loud in there

Did you FART again in the process? :icon_lol:

Mrs.JMajor

27th June 2009, 18:48

Did you FART again in the process? :icon_lol:
Unfortunately not :icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3:....

Wow that was a good post NtoN, but hurt to accept for Jam just in case isnt it?

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:03

hi guys... just responded late as I have a concert to attend to....

thanks for all the responses. I am not suprised by the reactions you gave me. I too, felt that. I am now doubting this relationship and I can see the inevitable...

oh well, thats life... :)

Mrs.JMajor

27th June 2009, 19:06

So you mean he havent contact you yet, after giving him till friday? Supposedly yesterday ?:yikes::cwm24:

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:08

give his own medicine, ignore him in anyways and see how...

good luck!

oh I will :D

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:14

Nope,just the voice of reason :xxgrinning--00xx3: I bet you a tenner,make it twenty quid if you like that she hasnt got his home telephone number and address in the UK :xxgrinning--00xx3:

nope. I dont have his address and his landline number... just the mobile and email add...

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:18

nope. I dont have his address and his landline number... just the mobile and email add...

Oh ok, so tawi was right then in his guess, he seems so sure that he raised his bet from 10 to 20 quid....lol
Anyway, jam, do what you feel is right and what you think is best for you...:xxgrinning--00xx3:
And best of luck in everything :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:19

nope. I dont have his address and his landline number... just the mobile and email add...

Now how did I know that :Erm::xxgrinning--00xx3: Drop him or prolong your agony,didnt you ever ask for his address to send him a card or his home number just in case?If you had he would have given you a load of excuses :icon_lol:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:20

What can I buy with my 20 quid :Erm::icon_lol::REDancedancer08::REGamblMoney01HL1:

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:20

So you mean he havent contact you yet, after giving him till friday? Supposedly yesterday ?:yikes::cwm24:

he did text me yesterday ('ring me now')... he texted that all of a sudden... hmmmm.. maybe he read this thread as I have shared him a link to this site when I was inquiring about visa application... hmmm... :Erm: just a thought... :Erm: :D

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:21

Oh ok, so tawi was right then in his guess, he seems so sure that he raised his bet from 10 to 20 quid....lol
Anyway, jam, do what you feel is right and what you think is best for you...:xxgrinning--00xx3:
And best of luck in everything :xxgrinning--00xx3:

It was an educated guess Soph,I know his type,collect,select,reject :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:21

What can I buy with my 20 quid :Erm::icon_lol::REDancedancer08::REGamblMoney01HL1:

good thing i don't gamble otherwise i would have lost 20 quid :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:23

It was an educated guess Soph,I know his type,collect,select,reject :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Oh you do? It takes one to know one? :D:D lol just kidding :xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:24

Now how did I know that :Erm::xxgrinning--00xx3: Drop him or prolong your agony,didnt you ever ask for his address to send him a card or his home number just in case?If you had he would have given you a load of excuses :icon_lol:

actually, I am planning to ask that this week as I wanted to send him a bday card. Its our bday two weeks from now (he's july 5 and I'm july 7).

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:25

Yes,good thing for you,bad for me,I feel like I just dropped 20 quid down the drain :NoNo::icon_lol: Soph,he is a type,I met some strange guys,they are around,collect a few women,good for their ego,they are getting on,mid-life crisis,start to panic wondering if they still look good to the opposite sex,you know the sort,as winter approaches a male flower tries to pollinate as many females as possible because he feels the pull of his own mortality,a last ditch effort :icon_lol:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:26

Oh you do? It takes one to know one? :D:D lol just kidding :xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

I was on the receiving end,collected,selected,rejected and felt dejected :bigcry::NoNo::bigcry:

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:27

actually, I am planning to ask that this week as I wanted to send him a bday card. Its our bday two weeks from now (he's july 5 and I'm july 7).

He would have came up with some form of excuse,basic type fantasist,probably told you a tissue of lies from beginning to end,if you had cornered him for the address you would have been fed excuses,which part of the UK is he from :Erm:

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:29

actually, I am planning to ask that this week as I wanted to send him a bday card. Its our bday two weeks from now (he's july 5 and I'm july 7).

Ok, you do that jam and see if he will be ok with it....
If he decline or come up with excuses not to give those details, then i guess that's it,
you really have to move on and stop wasting your time and emotions on this guy anymore....
Anyway, happy birthday in advance jam :xxgrinning--00xx3::):):)

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:30

He would have came up with some form of excuse,basic type fantasist,probably told you a tissue of lies from beginning to end,if you had cornered him for the address you would have been fed excuses,which part of the UK is he from :Erm:

Durham, England...

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:33

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:35

I was on the receiving end,collected,selected,rejected and felt dejected :bigcry::NoNo::bigcry:

Oh really? :wiggle::Blacklistthatsucks: lol, poor you :D:D:D

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:38

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:39

I always figured any woman that dumps me must be a lesbian right?:Erm: Her loss,I think she married a guy twice my age with twice my money from california :Erm:

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:41

Durham?My parents and sis live there :icon_lol: Maligayang kaarawan in advance :xxgrinning--00xx3: ask for his addie but dont hold your breath while waiting,your face might turn blue :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Maraming Salamat Tawi :) I will ask for his address when he comes back online but I am not waiting anymore. I'm just too turned off. if he'll come back as he said he will, we will talk about this... :)

Tawi2

27th June 2009, 19:47

Wait to see if he sends you a card,or rings you on your birthday,thats a good barometer as to the termerature of the relationship :xxgrinning--00xx3:

jam07

27th June 2009, 19:48

Ok, you do that jam and see if he will be ok with it....
If he decline or come up with excuses not to give those details, then i guess that's it,
you really have to move on and stop wasting your time and emotions on this guy anymore....
Anyway, happy birthday in advance jam :xxgrinning--00xx3::):):)

thanks sophie :) I'll do that but if he gave lame excuses again, thats it... :xxviolent :D

Sophie

27th June 2009, 19:53

thanks sophie :) I'll do that but if he gave lame excuses again, thats it... :xxviolent :D

you're welcome jam :xxgrinning--00xx3::)

Mrs.JMajor

27th June 2009, 21:26

he did text me yesterday ('ring me now')... he texted that all of a sudden... hmmmm.. maybe he read this thread as I have shared him a link to this site when I was inquiring about visa application... hmmm... :Erm: just a thought... :Erm: :D

Dont think of that:D his pc isnt working di ba?

Sim11UK

27th June 2009, 22:13

Hi Jam, been reading your thread with interest, sorry to hear of your troubles.

I'm guessing, that you haven't met yet in person?...What are his intentions? has he talked about coming to visit you?...Sorry, if I've got all this wrong?

We live in a world of communication, where it's not hard to stay in contact, with someone if you really want to.

Last summer, I had no internet connection for a month. My telephone line got struck by lightning, it literally blew the sockets out of the wall...There was an almighty bang! & the cat shot off my lap. :icon_lol:...Had to have the whole line replaced.

The point I'm making is, I could still use a phone, could still text & could go to the library to use free internet there.

Whether you stay with him or not, you deserve much better. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I wish you well. :)

jam07

28th June 2009, 02:48

Dont think of that:D his pc isnt working di ba?

oo nga ano hehe! :D

aposhark

28th June 2009, 11:29

...........I dont know what to think anymore...
why are guys soooooo insensitive at times?! grrr!!!

Hi Jam,

Just caught up on some posts.
Glad to see your bf and you are back in touch.

Now I don't know about every man, but when you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (referencing the experiences of many many relationship problems), men generally follow a pattern of "going into the cave" to reflect and sort out their predicaments.
I know I do.
Women generally like to talk all the time, men can shut off at times.

Don't worry too much, perhaps he will keep in touch for a long time, but do be prepared for his occasional silences.

Sophie

28th June 2009, 11:39

men can shut off at times.
but do be prepared for his occasional silences.

Can be true to some men or most men i suppose, but i still don't get it until now :Erm: lol. Maybe you could shed some light on this........:Erm::Erm:

jam07

28th June 2009, 11:41

Hi Jam,

Just caught up on some posts.
Glad to see your bf and you are back in touch.

Now I don't know about every man, but when you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (referencing the experiences of many many relationship problems), men generally follow a pattern of "going into the cave" to reflect and sort out their predicaments.
I know I do.
Women generally like to talk all the time, men can shut off at times.

Don't worry too much, perhaps he will keep in touch for a long time, but do be prepared for his occasional silences.

Hi Aposhark :) yup i guess he's back... he texted me a while ago but I didnt reply. I'm still irritated at him... I am at the verge of breaking up with him but still I want to see if there will be some more developments... we'll see... :)

Sophie

28th June 2009, 11:49

he texted me a while ago but I didnt reply.

Yeah, give him a doze of his own medicine :xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:D:D

jam07

28th June 2009, 12:00

Yeah, give him a doze of his own medicine :xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:D:D

yup sophie! that's what I am planning to do :D

Sophie

28th June 2009, 12:07

yup sophie! that's what I am planning to do :D

you go girl :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:D:D:D

jam07

28th June 2009, 12:16

you go girl :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:D:D:D

yup! dont mess up with a filipina :D

aposhark

28th June 2009, 12:18

Can be true to some men or most men i suppose, but i still don't get it until now :Erm: lol. Maybe you could shed some light on this........:Erm::Erm:

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

Sophie

28th June 2009, 12:23

yup! dont mess up with a filipina :D

Oh yes! :xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol:

Sophie

28th June 2009, 12:30

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

wow, very interesting, that sure made things clearer :xxgrinning--00xx3:
women ought to get gray's book so we understand men more,
or better yet, consult with aposhark for free :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D

Sophie

28th June 2009, 12:42

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

This one really made me laugh, i think because it definitely figures, lol :xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:D:D
I bet you took her word for it, coming from a woman herself....:D:D
Anway, i'm sorry about your mother, but she sure was a very wise woman :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::D

Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

while the woman proceed to talk and pick up from where they left off :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Mrs.JMajor

28th June 2009, 12:43

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

Everytime I read your words, I always thought of my lovey dovey, when I am annoyed, he did that, he walk away quietly/politely (that I feel guilty) and if he know that I am calm, he will just give a big hug and asking if I am alright or still grumpy, you really mature and sensible person, Rochelyn will be very proud of you

Mrs Daddy

28th June 2009, 13:03

There was an almighty bang! & the cat shot off my lap. :icon_lol:...Had to have the whole line replaced.

:)

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: That made my day:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tawi2

28th June 2009, 13:28

As Socrates said....."The hottest love has the coldest end" :bigcry: ask for his address and landline number Jam,gauge his reaction,thats the litmus test :xxgrinning--00xx3:

PAT

28th June 2009, 13:52

Hiya Sophie,

I could waffle on for many many minutes about this issue but I think if you read Gray's book, it will become clearer.

Basically men go into the cave and women like to talk about problems.
Trouble is that men tend to try to "fix" things when women just want to be "heard".
The big problem is that men try to go into the cave but sometimes women cannot understand this as they want to keep on talking to solve the problem. He is trying to avert a potential crisis or really bad situation and words sometimes confuse a man further.
It is so complicated at times, but men should just walk away when things get too strained, AND women should know when to stop hounding their man.
After all, tomorrow is another day and we want to be together with our partner, not stuck in the doghouse or worse.

When I was about 14 I told my mother (now sadly departed this world) that I didn't understand girls.
She gave me a pearl of wisdom that I will never forget.......
"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Now, I don't want to say that I never want to try to understand my wife, for example - because I always do, but there becomes a point where a man has to understand that we cannot always "fix" a woman's predicament, but we can certainly try to stand back, focus and then smile.
If things get a little strained, I certainly see the benefit of not getting into the nitty gritty ad infinitum. Walk away, let things settle down and then instead of getting back into the minutiae when we meet again, go back and just hold her without going over everything again.
The strongest man is the man who walks away and walks back quietly.

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

My salute to your words of wisdom aposhark, will ask my fiance to help me look for that book.

D&G

28th June 2009, 14:11

"I'll just give you one tip. Never try to understand a woman because they don't understand themselves".

Just my teapot philosophy, and I can say that the years have honed this down from the mad days of a young man's perspective.

:iagree::xxgrinning--00xx3:

you certainly raised some good points :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

jam07

28th June 2009, 14:12

As Socrates said....."The hottest love has the coldest end" :bigcry: ask for his address and landline number Jam,gauge his reaction,thats the litmus test :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I will Tawi! Thanks a lot! :)

Tawi2

28th June 2009, 14:17

I will Tawi! Thanks a lot! :)

If he gives you it without quibbling he is genuine,if he makes some excuse,any excuse,then he is lying and most probably married or not that interested,theres no other explanation,thats the bottom line :xxgrinning--00xx3:Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

vbkelly

28th June 2009, 19:15

yup! dont mess up with a filipina :D

go jam show him what a real filipina is:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Tawi2

28th June 2009, 19:22

:omg: Dont say that,she might stab him or something :cwm24:

Sim11UK

28th June 2009, 19:24

Hmmmmm Aposhark, not sure your post applies? :Erm:

At the end of the day, he's been less than honest & didn't bother to contact poor Jam.

Now he has, it's on his terms! :NoNo:

Tawi2

28th June 2009, 19:28

Sim11UK

28th June 2009, 19:45

Sim,reading between the lines its easy to see Jam's guy is a "Player" 100%,I knew in advance she didnt have either his home addie nor his home landline number,he is a "Type" you meet loads of them around,Kams better off jettisoning him now instead of prolonging the agony of unrequited love.

Yes I think you're right...Sounds a bit of a s**tbag to me!

It's the likes of poor Jam, who has to suffer the consequences. :cwm23:

Tawi2

28th June 2009, 19:53

I met two really sleazy characters,I chatted to them in Cebu,both Americans,both told me they had contacted loads of girls online,persuaded several of them to strip off on cam,they were doing the rounds sleeping with as many as possible,If every your in Cebu sit downstairs in Robinsons at the coffee shop,I was sitting there reading a mag,I didnt know its the normal place for sex-hunters,a lot of coffee shops in the Malls are getting that reputation,always keep your eyes open,watch the games some of the guys and even the ladies play,I watched a great game,their moves were almost like chess as they leapfrogged and followed each other around Ayala in Cebu,funny people,but Yup,I have a feeling in my water,and it aint incontinence,that Jam is a fly in some spiders web.

aposhark

28th June 2009, 23:03

Hmmmmm Aposhark, not sure your post applies? :Erm:

At the end of the day, he's been less than honest & didn't bother to contact poor Jam.

Now he has, it's on his terms! :NoNo:

Sim11Uk,

My reference was to indicate that he may be trying to sort himself out or "going into the cave" as Gray wrote.
I think it is applicable........

Anyway it seems he is now back in touch with her.

aposhark

28th June 2009, 23:13

FWIW,

I think that both sexes can sometimes take time to decide if someone else is right or wrong for them.

Many people take time sometimes to continue with things.

The real love affairs only truly get going on a day-to-day basis, when we live together and the daily grind of life puts pressures on all of us.

Sophie

28th June 2009, 23:15

jam07

1st July 2009, 13:49

at last I can get through this site! I dont know why this site is not allowed in Dubai! Grrrrr!!! I need to use Hotspot Shield first! bummer!

Mrs Daddy

1st July 2009, 13:59

so what`s up jam?:D

Jay&Zobel

1st July 2009, 13:59

at last I can get through this site! I dont know why this site is not allowed in Dubai! Grrrrr!!! I need to use Hotspot Shield first! bummer!

My friend wasn't able to access this too..
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=15386&highlight=DUBAI

jam07

1st July 2009, 14:09

so what`s up jam?:D

Hi Mrs Daddy :) we're over... i cant go on like this anymore... send it through his email this morning... got no reactions from him yet...

Sophie

1st July 2009, 14:12

Hi Mrs Daddy :) we're over... i cant go on like this anymore... send it through his email this morning... got no reactions from him yet...

That's so brave of you jam :xxgrinning--00xx3: You did the right thing :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Just move on wth your life and have fun and enjoy your single life
and i'm sure someone better will come along in time :xxgrinning--00xx3:

jam07

1st July 2009, 14:16

That's so brave of you jam :xxgrinning--00xx3: You did the right thing :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Just move on wth your life and have fun and enjoy your single life
and i'm sure someone better will come along in time :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I'm sure there will be someone better ... I'm sure of that :) thank you sophie :)

jam07

1st July 2009, 14:19

My friend wasn't able to access this too..
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=15386&highlight=DUBAI

kainis talga! and when you get through the site, ang bagal naman! grrr!!! thats what they do! :Brick: :CompBuster::cwm23:

Sophie

1st July 2009, 14:21

I'm sure there will be someone better ... I'm sure of that :) thank you sophie :)

You're welcome jam :) You will definitely meet the right person...you deserve to be happy and find the love you truly deserve :xxgrinning--00xx3:

jam07

1st July 2009, 14:26

You're welcome jam :) You will definitely meet the right person...you deserve to be happy and find the love you truly deserve :xxgrinning--00xx3:

yup! definitely! :)

Mrs Daddy

1st July 2009, 15:00

Hi Mrs Daddy :) we're over... i cant go on like this anymore... send it through his email this morning... got no reactions from him yet...

am sorry to hear but dont lose hope MR.right will come on the right time :):):)

jam07

1st July 2009, 15:24

am sorry to hear but dont lose hope MR.right will come on the right time :):):)

thanks you Mrs Daddy :) mr. right is just around the corner... maybe he's here as its because of him that I discovered this site (not because he told me about this site but because my now ex-bf is brit):D :rolleyes:

hmmm... its possible that he's here :D

:)

Mrs.JMajor

1st July 2009, 16:05

thanks you Mrs Daddy :) mr. right is just around the corner... maybe he's here as its because of him that I discovered this site (not because he told me about this site but because my now ex-bf is brit):D :rolleyes:

hmmm... its possible that he's here :D

:)

I hope so, there is one guy here, he is free:D as in available not in a relationship :Cuckoo:, just wondering where is he at the moment, maybe he is busy :Erm:

Or sometimes there are some guy who register here in the forum and looking for a nice filipina,

D&G

1st July 2009, 16:41

we're over... i cant go on like this anymore... send it through his email this morning... got no reactions from him yet...

Kudos for you Jam :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: It is time for the women in the lives of these scoundrels to stand up and kick the pigs to the Curb..

Mrs Daddy

1st July 2009, 16:42

I hope so, there is one guy here, he is free:D as in available not in a relationship :Cuckoo:, just wondering where is he at the moment, maybe he is busy :Erm:

Or sometimes there are some guy who register here in the forum and looking for a nice filipina,

you`re on about Mr.Tawi2 Mrs M:Erm::D:D:D

maria_and_matt

1st July 2009, 17:46

come to think of it where is tawi2 :icon_lol::icon_lol:

jam07

1st July 2009, 17:58

you`re on about Mr.Tawi2 Mrs M:Erm::D:D:D

boss Tawi o! :P

jam07

1st July 2009, 18:00

Kudos for you Jam :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: It is time for the women in the lives of these scoundrels to stand up and kick the pigs to the Curb..

thanks D&G! :)

Arthur Little

1st July 2009, 18:06

come to think of it where is tawi2 :icon_lol::icon_lol:

:Erm: Maybe he got an inkling that a "matchmaking plot" is afoot to pair him off ... :omg:

maria_and_matt

1st July 2009, 18:08

:Erm: Maybe he got an inkling that a "matchmaking plot" is afoot to pair him off ... :omg:

:icon_lol::icon_lol:he bolted

vbkelly

1st July 2009, 19:01

I'm sure there will be someone better ... I'm sure of that :) thank you sophie :)

go on jam be brave sabi ng kasabihan nga "hindi yan hinahanap yan ay kusang darating sa iyo" goodluck!

jam07

1st July 2009, 19:04

go on jam be brave sabi ng kasabihan nga "hindi yan hinahanap yan ay kusang darating sa iyo" goodluck!

:xxgrinning--00xx3: :)

Mrs Daddy

1st July 2009, 19:21

come to think of it where is tawi2 :icon_lol::icon_lol:

he`s sulking:D:D:D

Sim11UK

1st July 2009, 19:44

come to think of it where is tawi2 :icon_lol::icon_lol:

I expect he's busy changing his Avatar. :doh

On a serious note, sorry Jam07 for the way things turned out.

nigel

1st July 2009, 22:43

I think you've done the right thing Jam, he didn't sound keen to me, are you working as a caregiver out there in Dubai?

Mrs.JMajor

1st July 2009, 22:54

you`re on about Mr.Tawi2 Mrs M:Erm::D:D:D

come to think of it where is tawi2 :icon_lol::icon_lol:

boss Tawi

he`s sulking:D:D:D

I expect he's busy changing his Avatar.:doh

:icon_lol::icon_lol:

Florge

2nd July 2009, 06:27

Hi Jam,

Well, you made a choice of ending the relationship and you feel that it's the right one. Good for you then.

My bf, now my fiancee, has been in this "going in the cave" thing (as what aposhark had described quoting Dr. Gray's book)... and I would have to say that your ex-bf may be doing just that. The difference though is that, my fiancee was honest enough to tell me to let him be for a while and allow him to sort things on his own. I have even posted a thread about his email not so long ago... and most of the forumers have told me to move on. Gladly, I didn't... I trusted my fiancee... I let him be as requested.. and like a rubber band (also from Dr. Gray's book).. he came back to me.. and now, he's mine! hehehe..

Jam, Im not saying that you give him a chance, nor saying that you didn't do the right thing. All I'm saying is that.. well... I support your choice. if your insticts tell you to dump him.. then so be it (and you already did)... I wish you good luck in your quest for true love. It will come in its proper time... just keep on being happy and pray for guidance. It worked for me... it may work for you too.

aposhark

2nd July 2009, 11:13

while the woman proceed to talk and pick up from where they left off :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Hi Sophie, we would say "Hello dear, I have to pop out, see you later" (another trip into the cave!, or is it we are cowards sometimes?)

Mrs.JMajor

2nd July 2009, 11:32

Not coward I guess, a gentleman way..:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sophie

2nd July 2009, 11:39

Hi Sophie, we would say "Hello dear, I have to pop out, see you later" (another trip into the cave!, or is it we are cowards sometimes?)

LOL, back to the cave :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:
It's not really cowardice aposhark, on the contrary, its actually bravery, coz you are courageous enough to walk away and not give in to anger....
and i admire men for being like this most of the time :xxgrinning--00xx3:
instead of giving in to the argument and say things we regret and let fly words we later wish we'd never spoken...
as when tempers flare, it's often best to postpone the discussion and spend some time apart so you can both calm down and collect your thoughts
Women ought to know this one better as we are more the confrontational types, lol :D:D:D