Have i made a mistake marrying a Pinnay ????

[mistermatty]

have i

[gWaPito]

It's a culture thing, not her fault.
They work to eat and live from wage packet to wage packet, that is it. Not possible to save:NoNo:

Most have a shock in the UK. Even us:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mistermatty]

It's a culture thing, not her fault.
They work to eat and live from wage packet to wage packet, that is it. Not possible to save:NoNo:

Most have a shock in the UK. Even us:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Your right and i know this and have always been able to handle it but its begnning to drive me insane !

[stevewool]

its good to get it off your chest, you have not made a mistake and you know that too, we are differant people differant needs , sometimes i have to stand back and shake my head but i know i love my emma and she loves me, only give what you want to give and see how things go

[Steve.r]

I would also say culture too, but you knew this before you married her right? :Erm: Just try to make her understand, tell her you will budget for the building later, if that is 'your' priority. :)

[gWaPito]

Your right and i know this and have always been able to handle it but its begnning to drive me insane !

You don't want to go insane:NoNo: Not good:NoNo:

Hold it together, in time the penny will drop:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Englishman2010]

its good to get it off your chest, you have not made a mistake and you know that too, we are differant people differant needs , sometimes i have to stand back and shake my head but i know i love my emma and she loves me, only give what you want to give and see how things go

I know exactly how you all feel, and Steve sums it up perfectly here.

Just lately it seems like every conversation I have with my g/f ends up with her dropping a huge hint or asking outright for something. Sometimes you have to say no and you must lay down the ground rules. Don't feel obligated to give every time she asks or give in because you might lose her. If she genuinely loves you and wants you she will accept it when you say no. If she doesn't accept it and threatens to leave..etc, you know the real score.
Stop worrying and pulling your hair out, I'm sure it will work out fine if you explain to her in a nice way.

[Sophie]

have i

Hi mistermatty, what are the circumstances that led you to question if you made a mistake marrying one?

[Arthur Little]

Hi mistermatty, what are the circumstances that led you to question if you made a mistake marrying one?

:gp:, Sophie ... I'd been wondering the same thing myself.

[Steve.r]

He removed his long post, but a few of us saw and posted accordingly. I guess up to him if he feels he wants to repost the issues.

[sars_notd_virus]

have i

have u?:Erm:

[Sophie]

He removed his long post, but a few of us saw and posted accordingly. I guess up to him if he feels he wants to repost the issues.

Oh ok, that answers our question arthur, hehe....Thanks steve :)

[sparky]

your just selfish and dont want to be committed long time to her
its too late now to start whining about the committment you made in getting married.
grow some balls and accept her and get on with your married life and work at it

[vbkelly]

have i

sorry but you have to deal with it

[liane]

have i

you have the regrets that soon :yikes: :Erm:

[mistermatty]

your just selfish and dont want to be committed long time to her
its too late now to start whining about the committment you made in getting married.
grow some balls and accept her and get on with your married life and work at it

does that mean having a open wallet then , do you really think " workin " at a marraige involves handing over a endless amount of cash ??

[fred]

mistermatty (http://filipinaroses.com/member.php?4576-mistermatty)..

Please re-post original message or ask for the thread to be closed..
:Erm:

[mistermatty]

mistermatty (http://filipinaroses.com/member.php?4576-mistermatty)..

Please re-post original message or ask for the thread to be closed..
:Erm:

Understood , was just venting my frustations and then thought better of it .

[fred]

no worries...im sure one of moderators will close it for you a bit later..

[mistermatty]

no worries...im sure one of moderators will close it for you a bit later..

will re post later mate

[stevewool]

we all have good days and bad days thats why we are here to advice and if we can help but just having someone to listen and understand that does work, talk to us first mate, dont engage your mouth before your brain like most men do:)

[mistermatty]

we all have good days and bad days thats why we are here to advice and if we can help but just having someone to listen and understand that does work, talk to us first mate, dont engage your mouth before your brain like most men do:)

Its not like i dont understand the culuture but its so frustating when all they can see is NOW and not look ahead to tommorow ....

Heres a example ...
The wife has saved a small sum of money for house repairs that her papa is goin to do BUT they need to hire 2 guys to help lift the materials and do the labouring ...now if i was repairing my house here in the UK i would do the work myself and not pay someone to do it especially if i had a spouse visa to pay for !!

[stevewool]

some of us can do things some of us cant , its very easy to complain when we dont know the facts and we dont ,its hard to think are they taking things for granted , but before you came along they were fine and did not need the extension, so just tell them up front there is no money for the extension the visa is more important to you and should be to your partner also , but remember there life is totaly differant to ours

[-sillybilly-]

Hi!
I dont know what to say.
Maybe you should start thinking that when you're wife comes to the UK and get a job she will definitely help you out financially or even pay you back slowly in every single penny you have sent to her. Plus a good wife... who makes your dinner, do your laundry, iron your clothes, all the woman's job.
You are now part of her family and before you married her you knew her family's situation.
Shes your wife now and you should not be thinking of making mistakes, you should have thought about it before marrying her.
You are in your first stage of marriage and your wife needs your support and in time she will give it back to you when you need it as soon as you both are together.
Thats just the way it is.

[stevewool]

wow a womans job thats a bit harsh, so you are telling me all the chores i do i dont have to do them anymore :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[triple5]

Sometimes you just have to put you foot down, tell em you da man and the money gets spent on what you decide :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[nigel]

Filipinas take their family and relationships seriously! It's the reason why we find them so attractive in the first place! :) I've also had feelings like the ones you seem to be feeling now! And it sounds like your wifey may be more demanding than my Vimvie...in time you will realise your Pinay is a trophy wife..I know mine is! :)

I sometimes tell my Vimvie we can't send money this time...just sometimes...I don't want us sending money to the point where we can't pay our mortgage..end up with no where to live...no job/income...I mean that's going to mean disaster for everyone, including her family...so I put my foot down if I feel that might be about to happen...! But chill man! Everything comes good given time...!:)

[-sillybilly-]

wow a womans job thats a bit harsh, so you are telling me all the chores i do i dont have to do them anymore :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Well we Filipina are very loving and dedicated to their husbands and families. We try our best to do everything. But one of the most things that we want in return is attention when we sulk and understanding and support from any situation that may come in the future.

We do appreciate any single help from our husbands and we try to show it in every way we can.....hmmm, i hope you know wot i mean:D

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi!
Maybe you should start thinking that when you're wife comes to the UK and get a job she will definitely help you out financially or even pay you back slowly in every single penny you have sent to her.

how can she pay him back knowing they are married and everything belongs to them....:rolleyes:

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi mistermatty,

Your wife should be the first to know about your grief in marrying her..so,talk to her.
anyway,in marriage both should work as a team
goodluck!!

[stevewool]

indeed i do , well hope i do
Well we Filipina are very loving and dedicated to their husbands and families. We try our best to do everything. But one of the most things that we want in return is attention when we sulk and understanding and support from any situation that may come in the future.

We do appreciate any single help from our husbands and we try to show it in every way we can.....hmmm, i hope you know wot i mean:D

[pennybarry]

Filipinas really need to adjust and husband need to understand!
We need your long patience.:icon_sorry::D

[Ladybug_sim]

Hi! Mistermatty, just got my attention on your post here… I didn’t get online at the forum but I’m reading some new post here when I’m talking to my buggy and for now we didn’t talk as he is busy doing his job. As what I can share you my opinion here is you are the one to talk to your wifey what really your situation there I know it is getting hard when we demand sometimes but I think when you explain and talk to it all to your wifey she will understand on it from you since you are on going for processing the visa… I didn’t get all the messages or all your post on here but I understand what you mean…. So far from now people live in a hard situation but it would be easy when you can understand each other or both husband and wife.

We Filipina think always for our family but I think we need to think our husband too coz they are part in our daily life. For me, not only husband will understand us coz we need to understand our husband too, since I’m still far from my hubby I didn’t demand or ask anything from him just be together in life soon, is the one im pray at all. It is hard to be far and getting far apart but still I believe and I understand him for all he did as he do the same here for me too, now we are still waiting for the right time soon not be in a hurry :)… but yes I did missed him much :cwm24:…. Even we keep talking on here or do a call still good in person.

Family is always there for us whatever happen but our husband be the first to think now since we married them. Some people or foreign men think that we marry them because they can support us all or feed us all with the whole family. Well, I think it is depend for the husband or the man on how he show or treat our family before they marry us. If you treated your g/f or wife life a queen or princes and the family, well, it is not our fault coz our family think that you can afford all the things they want but we need to think as a wife not all the time that our husband can give everything what we want or need even the family .. They work hard as we work hard here and they as we eat on here.. Our lives is same if anyone can think on it.. they are their to support us and they are happy when they saw us happy too same as we married with the man we love we need to think what our future ahead when we are together with our husband. It is the time that we can say we are belong to each other for better and for worst not in a simple way that we break up coz we don’t have money to give or to send..... :NoNo:

Just do what you think is best mistermatty and good luck soon to your wifey's visa :xxgrinning00xx3:

regards, ladybug and Sim11uk

[mistermatty]

Well we Filipina are very loving and dedicated to their husbands and families. We try our best to do everything. But one of the most things that we want in return is attention when we sulk and understanding and support from any situation that may come in the future.

We do appreciate any single help from our husbands and we try to show it in every way we can.....hmmm, i hope you know wot i mean:D

Yes she does show her appreication and bonks me silly but i refuse to be persuaded by a woman who uses that for her own gain :NoNo:

[sparky]

Yes she does show her appreication and bonks me silly but i refuse to be persuaded by a woman who uses that for her own gain :NoNo:
its never stopped you before.

and do you really thing a couple of thousand peso will be able to satisfy her

wait till she gets to the UK and then for sure half of all you own WILL be hers

[gWaPito]

Filipinas take their family and relationships seriously! It's the reason why we find them so attractive in the first place! :) I've also had feelings like the ones you seem to be feeling now! And it sounds like your wifey may be more demanding than my Vimvie...in time you will realise your Pinay is a trophy wife..I know mine is! :)

I sometimes tell my Vimvie we can't send money this time...just sometimes...I don't want us sending money to the point where we can't pay our mortgage..end up with no where to live...no job/income...I mean that's going to mean disaster for everyone, including her family...so I put my foot down if I feel that might be about to happen...! But chill man! Everything comes good given time...!:)

I don't look upon my wife as a 'trophy wife':NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

This is what the westerners think here, old ugly man with a miss world...bullshit!!!!!!!!
We are not all ugly old men, so stop saying that our wife's are trophys, that is so offensive.

We both look at eachother as equels:xxgrinning--
00xx3: Jane is 5' 6'' and great looking, so am I:D:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Why does this 'money' thing keep coming up?
It never has with my wife, not every pinay sends money home either:NoNo: that includes mine.

[joebloggs]

Why does this 'money' thing keep coming up?
It never has with my wife, not every pinay sends money home either:NoNo: that includes mine.

then your the lucky ones :rolleyes:
for some it is a problem or has been :NoNo:

everyone's circumstances are different so its up to the individual to say when enough is enough :Erm:

[mistermatty]

its never stopped you before.

and do you really thing a couple of thousand peso will be able to satisfy her

wait till she gets to the UK and then for sure half of all you own WILL be hers

thats below the belt , shes worth a lot more than 2000 pesos a month ...as for when she arrives in the UK half of what mate , i dont have a TV or a Car and travel everwhere on a bicycle with a trailer :Wave:

[gWaPito]

then your the lucky ones :rolleyes:
for some it is a problem or has been :NoNo:

everyone's circumstances are different so its up to the individual to say when enough is enough :Erm:

I understand that, surely these details of money and babies should be brought up before marriage?

Surely a clear understanding of money and where it comes from and what most of us have to do to get it, like work and work very hard for our pounds.

Many marriages go to the wall because of it, not just phil/uk marriages.

It is comparable to marrying someone with a drink problem, you either both accept the situation or decide to deal with it before you marry.

Lines should of been made in the sand, it is no good testing eachothers limitations after the event, you are married and that's it, you can't blame anybody but yourself if it all turns ugly:NoNo:

[mistermatty]

then your the lucky ones :rolleyes:
for some it is a problem or has been :NoNo:

everyone's circumstances are different so its up to the individual to say when enough is enough :Erm:

am i being nosey how you dealt with this issue :)

[sparky]

thats below the belt , shes worth a lot more than 2000 pesos a month ...as for when she arrives in the UK half of what mate , i dont have a TV or a Car and travel everwhere on a bicycle with a trailer :Wave:

others may think your joking but i know different

and it just shows how tight you are- do you think she will go without a Tv????:doh:doh

[stevewool]

steady on lads,

[mistermatty]

others may think your joking but i know different

and it just shows how tight you are- do you think she will go without a Tv????:doh:doh

the wife said she does not want to sit in the chair all day long watching TV and wants to stay busy cooking , cleaning and making sure i am satsified in everyway :)

[stevewool]

i am thick or what then , so you say your missis bonks you silly but you wont be persuaded if thats for her own gain , well thats personal what happens in the bedroom frontroom bathroom stairs garden cellar kitchen and atice ups got carried away there sorry, just exploring my home for when emma comes:)

[gWaPito]

others may think your joking but i know different

and it just shows how tight you are- do you think she will go without a Tv????:doh:doh

From what I can remember when Jane was doing her spouse Visa application, You have to show that you have £95 or there abouts, going spare every month to show you can support you wife:NoNo:
I, for one think that is far too low. We spend that alone on food shopping a week, and how about the extra heating costs etc etc etc
that £95 a month woudn't touch it:NoNo:
No wonder people on here are going down 'queer street'
£95 a week available would be much more like it.
Just as well live 'cheap Charlie' style in The Philippines with the sun:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

am i being nosey how you dealt with this issue :)

The left elbow works everytime:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mistermatty]

i am thick or what then , so you say your missis bonks you silly but you wont be persuaded if thats for her own gain , well thats personal what happens in the bedroom frontroom bathroom stairs garden cellar kitchen and atice ups got carried away there sorry, just exploring my home for when emma comes:)

Making love with the wife is a a 2 way experince , if you both put in then you both gain a amazing feeling :icon_lol:

[stevewool]

so you have a bike and pull a trailer :yikes:, is it a big trailer like a caravan sort of thing, that wont take much cleaning then if thats what your wife will do wen she gets here:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[sparky]

Making love with the wife is a a 2 way experince , if you both put in then you both gain a amazing feeling :icon_lol:

so what you gonna do for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day then with her?:crazy:

[mistermatty]

just a small trailer that i can can get my weekly shop from Aldi in :)

[stevewool]

thats true mistermatty what ever you both put in you both gain amazing things so instead of wondering what to send or do, the best thing is to talk to her explain your feelings and treat her as the women you fell in love with

[mistermatty]

so what you gonna do for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day then with her?:crazy:

You never told me you had met my missus ???

[stevewool]

now now sparky , getting nervous soon be the big flight

[stevewool]

if you went to farm foods you would need a bigger trailer get more for your money:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[gWaPito]

just a small trailer that i can can get my weekly shop from Aldi in :)

I think someone is having a joke on us:D

[gWaPito]

You never told me you had met my missus ???

Now now boyz, play nicely:D

[mistermatty]

I think someone is having a joke on us:D

Far from it , i am being 100 % honest here .....just because my lifestyle is difrrent from yours ;)

[stevewool]

hi there gwap, do you holiday back to the phils

[stevewool]

so why is your lifestyle so differant to ours then??? do you work , have bills and dont you have a partner who is from the philippines

[mistermatty]

so why is your lifestyle so differant to ours then??? do you work , have bills and dont you have a partner who is from the philippines

Yes i do have bills etc etc , i thought you were making Ref to my bicylcle trailer with the joke comment .

[joebloggs]

I understand that, surely these details of money and babies should be brought up before marriage?

Surely a clear understanding of money and where it comes from and what most of us have to do to get it, like work and work very hard for our pounds.

Many marriages go to the wall because of it, not just phil/uk marriages.

It is comparable to marrying someone with a drink problem, you either both accept the situation or decide to deal with it before you marry.

Lines should of been made in the sand, it is no good testing eachothers limitations after the event, you are married and that's it, you can't blame anybody but yourself if it all turns ugly:NoNo:

agree, but its not always possible or it doesn't work out that way, i knew my misses was a second year uni student and i would have to support her and the kids, but we both didn't realise it would be nearly 4yrs before she landed in the uk, then :Cuckoo::laugher: we thought she could work as a doc in the UK, that would take nearly 5yrs being in the UK, oh we had the usual family problems in the phils sickness, birth etc and i would pay for most of it, then once the misses was working she would help out


am i being nosey how you dealt with this issue :)

dealt with the issue by moving most of her family into one house to reduce bills , rent etc. the misses realising that we had to send less.

none of her family we helped were scroungers etc, i had a stepson in the phils at uni, my misses cousin (like a young brother to her) we helped thru nursing school (the guy has absolutely no one to help him :NoNo:) and my misses aunt who is in her mid 50s and has a disability and we owe her for the years she looked after our little gal.

its all turned out ok in the end thou :rolleyes:

[gWaPito]

hi there gwap, do you holiday back to the phils

Hi Steve, yes, we go back for a month to Cavite this October so it includes Jane's birthday and all soul's day. Jane has a few parties planed. We can't wait!:D:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

cavite my emma is from dasmarinas

[gWaPito]

agree, but its not always possible or it doesn't work out that way, i knew my misses was a second year uni student and i would have to support her and the kids, but we both didn't realise it would be nearly 4yrs before she landed in the uk, then :Cuckoo::laugher: we thought she could work as a doc in the UK, that would take nearly 5yrs being in the UK, oh we had the usual family problems in the phils sickness, birth etc and i would pay for most of it, then once the misses was working she would help out



dealt with the issue by moving most of her family into one house to reduce bills , rent etc. the misses realising that we had to send less.

none of her family we helped were scroungers etc, i had a stepson in the phils at uni, my misses cousin (like a young brother to her) we helped thru nursing school (the guy has absolutely no one to help him :NoNo:) and my misses aunt who is in her mid 50s and has a disability and we owe her for the years she looked after our little gal.

its all turned out ok in the end thou :rolleyes:

I didn't mean for it to sound simplistic, I know the well planed ideas can turn to dust, such is life:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Everybody needs good luck, Joe...life wouldn't be much fun having continual bad stuff.

[stevewool]

well there was a little pun intended about the size of trailer , but its a joke shared, when are you hoping that your partner will join you here

[Arthur Little]

i dont have a TV or a Car and travel everwhere on a bicycle with a trailer :Wave:

I don't have a car either, Matt. :NoNo: But here's an :idea: ... how about trading-in your bike for a tandem? That way, you can go 50-50 by sharing the pedalling ... and still keep the trailer! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

cavite my emma is from dasmarinas

Mine from dasma town:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

its not baranggay san miguel 1 , thats were we sat many a night

[joebloggs]

I didn't mean for it to sound simplistic, I know the well planed ideas can turn to dust, such is life:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Everybody needs good luck, Joe...life wouldn't be much fun having continual bad stuff.

:xxgrinning--00xx3: i know, but things can get out of hand or not go they way you both thought or planned... :doh

[stevewool]

arthur what about exchanging for one of those from the seaside if they are small people not big boned i mean, could sit 4 across or put the shopping between them and get rid of the trailor

[sparky]

Yes i do have bills etc etc , i thought you were making Ref to my bicylcle trailer with the joke comment .
you still collecting roadkill for your fresh food?

[mistermatty]

you still collecting roadkill for your fresh food?

Nothing wrong with living off the land or sea mate , it will remind the wife of life back home :Brick:

[Steve.r]

Nothing wrong with living off the land or sea mate , it will remind the wife of life back home :Brick:

and there she was hoping that she had found her Prince :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[somebody]

I do think that is the part that a lot of Brits and Phills find the biggest issue.. Luckily from reading of what ohter had been though both here in the UK and elsewhere. Plus how some ladies on a couple of other uk phill forums i used to read who had recently moved over recently had written in detail about was how hard it was for them to realise that although the differences are great people in the Uk once the bills are paid are not often that better off for the by Phill standards huge incomes they earn.

I really do think its wise for Ladies to read up basic finance guides based on the UK system. For both parties to be open and truthfully about whats needed in the forseeable future and whats avaiable.
Dont forget the two god sons who you hardly met when in Phill but now she may feel obligied to help with their school/Uni fees..

Now Phill logic is if the Huby says there is not much spare for back home once she lives in the UK is she will simply get a Job but even in the few weeks/months she is here before she gets the Job. Bills in phill will need to be paid, the second cousins twice removed neighbours balut sellers pet dog will need vet fees.

I know on the Wifes application as Gawpito put i took the basic figure and went way above expalining in detail how her food needs extra heating how i had insulated the house etc. How cheap calls and communication was in place. I did this not just for the CEO use but for ours. The wifes picture when she saw the figuires involved in running a British household made her go :omg:
Many guys simply hide this from the Wife so she simply has no idea. Let her know dont not say or mention..

As well as living expenses, the Wife will almost certainly need clothes better suit to the UK enviroment not just for the climate but especially if she is younger that make her fit in with the locals!!! A Lady of any age can go to a party in phill in Jeans and a polo but even at familiy parties in the Uk the Wife would feel seriously underdressed. When your trying to be accepted you dont want to stand out when you already feel self concious and the odd one out.
Many ladies on here i bet have gone on lets say mango with fish sauce binges at six pound a box and quite a few quid for the fish sauce in the local gree grocers and pinoy shop its not cheap. But if it helps the wife keep her sanity then worth it..
The Wife had no idea how much heating cost and found it hard to wear layers of clothes indoors:D now i was not complaining untill real winter came. Heating the house so the wife could stroll around in shorts n t shirt was simply not on im afraid..

Some ladies may come over here not need any new wardrobe, eat UK based foods only all the time, rarely call home, never need to send money back and adapt to the cold but many dont..

[stevewool]

all we can do is our best, somebody , lots of intresting reading and what you say is true i have tried to explain to emma just today about the cost , heating and so on, but its learning together i feel that in emma i have found someone that is going to seceed here and with my help also here help too we are going to get on very well indeed,

[nigel]

stop saying that our wife's are trophys, that is so offensive.I'm not trying to be offensive pal! I realize I get under peoples skin with the way I go on....it's just enyhusiasm though! I feel such joy I could fly to the moon and back! :)

[somebody]

all we can do is our best, somebody , lots of intresting reading and what you say is true i have tried to explain to emma just today about the cost , heating and so on, but its learning together i feel that in emma i have found someone that is going to seceed here and with my help also here help too we are going to get on very well indeed,

Hi Steve Im sure Emma will suceed in the Uk:xxgrinning--00xx3: expecially with the help, advice and experience on this forum and of course with your support:xxgrinning--00xx3:

But to make live easier it does help to explain how the UK system works and of course how those store cards offered to you in a store or signing up for credit card in the shopping mall may not be a good idea..

Many fillipina spouses and OFW's i have spoken to have had issues with HP, Credit cards and overdrafts as they simply find them avaiable with no education,experience or advice from those around them. Think how many Uk youngsters and not so young get in to money trouble even with all the sources of experince and information they have..

As I have mentioned before the Wife when she set up a HSBC account a few years back as well as her wages partlydue to my Credit rating I guess and the fact we owned propety etc. Gave her not a basic account but actually a full current account, overdraft and a credit card even offered her a loan!! Now i know things have changed a little recently but it is overwhelming to be offered free money by sales people who are on commission..

Not saying Emma would but its worth mentioning to save problems later. Its worth remebering that our Wifes when in phill may have dealt with family finances but suddenly find themsleves spending a months income in the local supermarket shop. It can seem overwhelming from those ladies I have spoken to at least at first.
There is also the guilt issue, most Ladies will feel bad treating themsleves to what we think as nothing ott like some clothes or a dinner for two in a swanky at UK prices.

While I know our wifes are intelligent educated highly socially mature ladies, sometimes I found knowledge we take for granted in the UK is alien to the Wife. What might seem patronising is really helping your Wife and you. Putting the family into debt or running up huge bills is not the way as we all know to wedded bliss:D

Just like sometimes we have to be taught things that Phill kids treat for granted for our own good its the same vice versa..

[malditako]

how can she pay him back knowing they are married and everything belongs to them....:rolleyes:

:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

Nothing wrong with living off the land or sea mate , it will remind the wife of life back home http://filipinaroses.com/images/smilies/Brick.gif

Nothing wrong with it at all..After all,in the west we all have money trees to harvest.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[pennybarry]

Hi Steve, yes, we go back for a month to Cavite this October so it includes Jane's birthday and all soul's day. Jane has a few parties planed. We can't wait!:D:xxgrinning--00xx3:
You're a neighbor there gWapito.:omg: I'm planning to fly end of Oct if no worries.
Wish to meet Jane.:D

[stevewool]

again a very good read , i keep a good reign on my purse , and have no credit, i know emma well but still have to be warry, i dont think its the person some of the time its the sales person giving you it all , but have to just tell emma like i do i will think about it and come back if i am intrested

[gWaPito]

I do think that is the part that a lot of Brits and Phills find the biggest issue.. Luckily from reading of what ohter had been though both here in the UK and elsewhere. Plus how some ladies on a couple of other uk phill forums i used to read who had recently moved over recently had written in detail about was how hard it was for them to realise that although the differences are great people in the Uk once the bills are paid are not often that better off for the by Phill standards huge incomes they earn.

I really do think its wise for Ladies to read up basic finance guides based on the UK system. For both parties to be open and truthfully about whats needed in the forseeable future and whats avaiable.
Dont forget the two god sons who you hardly met when in Phill but now she may feel obligied to help with their school/Uni fees..

Now Phill logic is if the Huby says there is not much spare for back home once she lives in the UK is she will simply get a Job but even in the few weeks/months she is here before she gets the Job. Bills in phill will need to be paid, the second cousins twice removed neighbours balut sellers pet dog will need vet fees.

I know on the Wifes application as Gawpito put i took the basic figure and went way above expalining in detail how her food needs extra heating how i had insulated the house etc. How cheap calls and communication was in place. I did this not just for the CEO use but for ours. The wifes picture when she saw the figuires involved in running a British household made her go :omg:
Many guys simply hide this from the Wife so she simply has no idea. Let her know dont not say or mention..

As well as living expenses, the Wife will almost certainly need clothes better suit to the UK enviroment not just for the climate but especially if she is younger that make her fit in with the locals!!! A Lady of any age can go to a party in phill in Jeans and a polo but even at familiy parties in the Uk the Wife would feel seriously underdressed. When your trying to be accepted you dont want to stand out when you already feel self concious and the odd one out.
Many ladies on here i bet have gone on lets say mango with fish sauce binges at six pound a box and quite a few quid for the fish sauce in the local gree grocers and pinoy shop its not cheap. But if it helps the wife keep her sanity then worth it..
The Wife had no idea how much heating cost and found it hard to wear layers of clothes indoors:D now i was not complaining untill real winter came. Heating the house so the wife could stroll around in shorts n t shirt was simply not on im afraid..

Some ladies may come over here not need any new wardrobe, eat UK based foods only all the time, rarely call home, never need to send money back and adapt to the cold but many dont..

Do tell me, how can the husband/bf hide his standing in money when he has to give all this information to to Visa people via his wife/gf ???

You state that UK folk are just as worse off than the Phil folk after paying out there bills etc
I done agree:NoNo:. Not everybody is up to there high teeth in debt, not everybody has borrowed more than they can afford.

There are a lot who has been good with money, OK I have had my share of bad luck but, only 30% of my wages goes on all bills and food.

I think you will find that most of the younger guys are in that boat due to just starting a mortgage and borrowing for cars.

Most of us guys here are in our 40's and much later at a guess and don't fit that model you painted:NoNo:

As for the continual paying out, this should of been nipped in the bud at the very start. Paying out for 3rd cousins!, what's that all about? Bigger fool the husband to allow it. These money issues with extended family really should of been delt with before marriage.
Not every filipina is like that, not every one sends money back, I know others have said, most do, I would like to see stats to prove this. Not every filipina marries to become a over seas worker for there family in the Phils.

Oh, sorry I have had a long day, today. I got lost reading that bit about 'wife's application' and gwapito being mention. I have read a few times, I still don't get it?

[stevewool]

well after paying of the divorce and half my pension and a final payment to her , i am very happy 2+ years down the line, have my own house and my mortgage will be off very soon after paying more then i should, like you say, at our age we are very carefull and not stupid, i have credit cards with stupid amounts but dont use them, i have all i need so why spend it on other stuff, and gwap, you mentioned crystal travel £311 from manila to london , kawait airlines???????? reading the reviews :NoNo::NoNo:

[gWaPito]

You're a neighbor there gWapito.:omg: I'm planning to fly end of Oct if no worries.
Wish to meet Jane.:D

Yeah, why not. Jane doesn't get on here as much as she used to because of work commitments.

I'm only on here now because I'm on sick leave, I go back to work this Wednesday 23rd June.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Jane lived in Dasma town from mid 90's. She is from Las pinas and that is where all her Aunts, Uncles and 2 Brothers are. Her Mum is in Bicol.
We will visit there too.

We got no flights booked as yet.

[gWaPito]

well after paying of the divorce and half my pension and a final payment to her , i am very happy 2+ years down the line, have my own house and my mortgage will be off very soon after paying more then i should, like you say, at our age we are very carefull and not stupid, i have credit cards with stupid amounts but dont use them, i have all i need so why spend it on other stuff, and gwap, you mentioned crystal travel £311 from manila to london , kawait airlines???????? reading the reviews :NoNo::NoNo:

I guess you get what you pay for, Steve.
If it was Jane and I traveling, I would go for that, being a regular cheap Charlie:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Why not fly her none stop and pay £1700.

Look, it's not as if she will be waiting/walking amongst the camels and Arabs while waiting for connecting flight to the UK, although she may well be sitting with them on the plane:NoNo:

Why not look at a cheap Cebu pacific flight to HK then on to UK? I think that flight from HK is around the £250 and that is with Virgin airlines (Jane loved that flight) and £100 for the Cebu flight. What ever you do, it's going to be around the prices unless you fly her non stop:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Ps The down side with flying to Hong Kong with Cebu Pacific is that your beloved will have to recover her suitcase then go through the same routine as she would have entering Manila Airport.

If she was on her own, I wouldn't recomend it.

Put her on Kawait airlines

[gWaPito]

well after paying of the divorce and half my pension and a final payment to her , i am very happy 2+ years down the line, have my own house and my mortgage will be off very soon after paying more then i should, like you say, at our age we are very carefull and not stupid, i have credit cards with stupid amounts but dont use them, i have all i need so why spend it on other stuff, and gwap, you mentioned crystal travel £311 from manila to london , kawait airlines???????? reading the reviews :NoNo::NoNo:

Im the same, a few credit cards, that's it really.
Credit card companies don't make much out of us:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Handy to have in an emergency:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

to right mate we both have been there and done it but we seemed to have lernt our lesson, never again, i think i will stick to manila to mcr its a nice flight and i hate hearthrow getting there and the place too, but you never know i have a few more days left to look :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mistermatty]

Thinking of cutting my losses now and walking away its gonna hurt too much but i cant see things changing ...as the wife cant see to the future !!!

[stevewool]

no one can see the future , we can think it and try to make it the best we can, it takes 2 to sort this out and what you have been telling us, the house extention and the visa well have you spoken to the wife and wht is it she is wanting, but remember she is the one there still so may have to be living under the families rule, its up yto you what you deside but think hard and talk to her not us

[Steve.r]

Thinking of cutting my losses now and walking away its gonna hurt too much but i cant see things changing ...as the wife cant see to the future !!!

Sounds like a bit of a cop out. If you love her so much, you will fight to make it work. Does she know your intention to leave? What has she said about it?
:Brick:

[Sim11UK]

Well seeing half of us haven't got a clue, what this is all about, the thread seems pointless? :Erm:

Flipping heck! you were only talking about stag nights a few weeks ago, you married her, now you want to walk away? Sounds like you were more in love with the idea, of marrying a Filipina, than the actual reality...Get a grip! :NoNo:

[mistermatty]

Well seeing half of us haven't got a clue, what this is all about, the thread seems pointless? :Erm:

Flipping heck! you were only talking about stag nights a few weeks ago, you married her, now you want to walk away? Sounds like you were more in love with the idea, of marrying a Filipina, than the actual reality...Get a grip! :NoNo:

Maybe the actual reality is that shes just after money ??

[stevewool]

you talk in riddles mistermatty have you spoken to your wife yet to ask her all these questions, thats the best place to start , once you have done that maybe you will have a starting block to work from

[Arthur Little]

Maybe the actual reality is that shes just after money ??

Could BE, :iagree: ... although I hope NOT! But then, YOU married her ... so ... surely you ought to have sussed out her motives before committing yourself in the first place. Has she submitted her spouse visa application yet?

[Sim11UK]

Maybe the actual reality is that shes just after money ??

Well I didn't see your original post, which you deleted, that's why I'm sort of confused? :Erm:

How many times did you meet her, before marrying her?

[Englishman2010]

As Arthur has said, you should have found that out before you married her. If it's not too personal to ask, how long have you known her, how many times have you met her, how did you meet her (on line or in person) and what makes you think money is all she is after? What sort of things is she asking for.

I'm sure most of the guys on here treated their relationships with caution in the early days, afterall there are many stories circulating about western guys being scammed. However, that doesn't mean that all Filipina's are scammers. There is a big cultural difference, and as some of the guys have said, in Filipino life it is probably acceptable to ask friends and family for help, and if you do find you've got a generous benefactor you are naturally going to ask for more.
We must remember that we live in a very rich country, one on the worlds top 5%, the Philippines is in the bottom 25%. We might think we are hard done to over here, but compared to them we are like millionairres.
Even after being with my girl for 9 months I'm still not certain about her, one minute I think she is genuine, the next she asks for something and I think 'here we go again'. Eventually I give in and find out a week later that the money has been used for something else. From reading the posts on here, I've come to accept that it is probably just the way they are, and you either have to put up with it or move on and find a more conventional western relationship.
One thing is for certain, I am not going to make any commitments like engagement or marriage until I am 100% certain that she genuinely loves me for who I am, not just the promise of a better life in the west and some cash. And I would advise anyone else entering into a relationship with a Filipina to be just as cautious. After all you wouldn't marry a British girl you had only met a couple of times would you, so why do it with a Filipina you hardly know?

[mistermatty]

As Arthur has said, you should have found that out before you married her. If it's not too personal to ask, how long have you known her, how many times have you met her, how did you meet her (on line or in person) and what makes you think money is all she is after? What sort of things is she asking for.

I'm sure most of the guys on here treated their relationships with caution in the early days, afterall there are many stories circulating about western guys being scammed. However, that doesn't mean that all Filipina's are scammers. There is a big cultural difference, and as some of the guys have said, in Filipino life it is probably acceptable to ask friends and family for help, and if you do find you've got a generous benefactor you are naturally going to ask for more.
We must remember that we live in a very rich country, one on the worlds top 5%, the Philippines is in the bottom 25%. We might think we are hard done to over here, but compared to them we are like millionairres.
Even after being with my girl for 9 months I'm still not certain about her, one minute I think she is genuine, the next she asks for something and I think 'here we go again'. Eventually I give in and find out a week later that the money has been used for something else. From reading the posts on here, I've come to accept that it is probably just the way they are, and you either have to put up with it or move on and find a more conventional western relationship.
One thing is for certain, I am not going to make any commitments like engagement or marriage until I am 100% certain that she genuinely loves me for who I am, not just the promise of a better life in the west and some cash. And I would advise anyone else entering into a relationship with a Filipina to be just as cautious. After all you wouldn't marry a British girl you had only met a couple of times would you, so why do it with a Filipina you hardly know?

Have known her for 5 years and have spent close to 8 weeks a year together on my 3 x trips a year to the philippines .

[mistermatty]

As Arthur has said, you should have found that out before you married her. If it's not too personal to ask, how long have you known her, how many times have you met her, how did you meet her (on line or in person) and what makes you think money is all she is after? What sort of things is she asking for.

I'm sure most of the guys on here treated their relationships with caution in the early days, afterall there are many stories circulating about western guys being scammed. However, that doesn't mean that all Filipina's are scammers. There is a big cultural difference, and as some of the guys have said, in Filipino life it is probably acceptable to ask friends and family for help, and if you do find you've got a generous benefactor you are naturally going to ask for more.
We must remember that we live in a very rich country, one on the worlds top 5%, the Philippines is in the bottom 25%. We might think we are hard done to over here, but compared to them we are like millionairres.
Even after being with my girl for 9 months I'm still not certain about her, one minute I think she is genuine, the next she asks for something and I think 'here we go again'. Eventually I give in and find out a week later that the money has been used for something else. From reading the posts on here, I've come to accept that it is probably just the way they are, and you either have to put up with it or move on and find a more conventional western relationship.
One thing is for certain, I am not going to make any commitments like engagement or marriage until I am 100% certain that she genuinely loves me for who I am, not just the promise of a better life in the west and some cash. And I would advise anyone else entering into a relationship with a Filipina to be just as cautious. After all you wouldn't marry a British girl you had only met a couple of times would you, so why do it with a Filipina you hardly know?

Have known her for 5 years and have spent close to 8 weeks a year together on my 3 x trips to the philippines .

[stevewool]

hi englishman2010, wise words but just like mum and dad told us and did we ever listen:NoNo:, i think its the case iin a few at first that someone so young finds us atractive , and yes wether its for another reason who knows , sometimes its to late but like you say why rush if they are there in a years times then you may have something , always keep asking questions if you are not sure:)

[stevewool]

5 years, so how long have you 2 been married then and surely you knew what you was getting into , or was it just lust for them few weeks each year, and did i read that she wont get round you just by giving you sex :NoNo: seems to be working well so far

[Pete/London]

I`ve been married for 23 years and she married me for my money.She is still after my money, I had loads anyway:D When its gone she is going to keep me, or so she promised:rolleyes:
Your choice is to keep your money and be a miserable old lonely fart or share it and be happier:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Englishman2010]

Have known her for 5 years and have spent close to 8 weeks a year together on my 3 x trips to the philippines .

That's a long time, and whilst you will never truly get to know someone by spending 2 or 3 weeks a time with them, it should still be a long enough period of time to get to know them fairly well.
Why do you only think she is after your money now?

[stevewool]

23 years pete wow:yikes: you either are a millionair or buget very well :icon_lol:

[Englishman2010]

hi englishman2010, wise words but just like mum and dad told us and did we ever listen:NoNo:, i think its the case iin a few at first that someone so young finds us atractive , and yes wether its for another reason who knows , sometimes its to late but like you say why rush if they are there in a years times then you may have something , always keep asking questions if you are not sure:)

I know Steve, if i listened to other people on the outsides advice I would have never started a relationship with a Filipina. However, I don't think it hurts to be a little bit cautious or even suspicious at first.

[stevewool]

well i knew i wanted to find a filipina and yes been burnt but that did not faze me,its usauly the people that dont know what they are on about talk the loudest,and caution yes we all must be even the ladies in our life too

[Arthur Little]

Have known her for 5 years and have spent close to 8 weeks a year together on my 3 x trips a year to the philippines .

Yeah, Matt ... but how long have you been actually MARRIED? :rolleyes: And HAS she applied for her visa? :rolleyes:

[sparky]

Yeah, Matt ... but how long have you been actually MARRIED? :rolleyes: And HAS she applied for her visa? :rolleyes:

he got married this may and is waiting for the NSO paperwork to come thru

mistermatty has until quite recently been a confirmed batchelor and isnt used to sharing anything but his bed:NoNo:

[Englishman2010]

well i knew i wanted to find a filipina and yes been burnt but that did not faze me,its usauly the people that dont know what they are on about talk the loudest,and caution yes we all must be even the ladies in our life too

I didn't want a relationship at all after just separting from my wife. I was on holiday in Singapore and spotted a beatiful little asian woman singing Karaoke in a Chinese bar. I never imagined I would ever have a Flipina g/f. Despite the obvious cultural differences, distance, and issues over money, I'm not complaining, I'm happy most of the time. And when I'm not it's usually down to frustration at not understanding the differences, which is why I'm here, and I've found out that my frustrations and experiences are no different to those of most of the guys on here. You have to learn to accept that some things are different, some things will frustrate you, but if you are happy then it's worth it.

[Englishman2010]

he got married this may and is waiting for the NSO paperwork to come thru

mistermatty has until quite recently been a confirmed batchelor and isnt used to sharing anything but his bed:NoNo:

I don't know anything about Matt and wouldn't like to comment on things I dont know, but isn't marriage about sharing? What's yours is hers and what's hers is hers too? Surely we all understand that Filipina's are usually poor in comparison to us and we will have to help them a bit when they are our g/fs. But if you are married, you have made a commitment and you must share, its an equal partnership. If we aren't prepared to make that commitment and share everything we own, we shouldn't get married in the first place.

[pennybarry]

Maybe the actual reality is that shes just after money ??

If this is your conclusion, why not give her time to find a job? You're not too sure yet so give her space. IHMO
Almost all filipinas are hardworking. If we have the chance, we can make money of our own and can share our hard earned to our love ones as well. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bornatbirth]

after knowing her for that long and now you got married isnt a bit late to be asking yourself if shes only after money :Erm:

im taking a guess that shes wants to make sure her family are ok before she comes to the uk?

anyway time to grow up and make it work, why are you posting in this forum when you should both be talking about it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ross]

after knowing her for that long and now you got married isnt a bit late to be asking yourself if shes only after money :Erm:

im taking a guess that shes wants to make sure her family are ok before she comes to the uk?

anyway time to grow up and make it work, why are you posting in this forum when you should both be talking about it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

it just sometimes one needed an advice or comments but does meant any harm i :D:heartshape1::icon_lol:guess thats all:crazy::icon_lol::icon_lol::omg::D:D

[mistermatty]

anyway time to grow up and make it work, why are you posting in this forum when you should both be talking about it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Just venting my frustations .....this is a discussion forum after all:Brick:

[Englishman2010]

Just venting my frustations .....this is a discussion forum after all:Brick:

:xxgrinning--00xx3:You're right there, and there isn't any point talking to mates who have english girlfriends because they don't understand how a LDR relationship works, and only end up taking the pee. I've given up talking to my mates about my concerns, problems...etc because they just think I'm mad and keep telling me I'm being scammed.

I still don't know what your original post said, and I don't suppose it matters really. Hopefully, you have found some sensible advice among the posts and you know how to approach your concerns with your wife, but whatever you do, you need to talk to her and explain your concerns. I know it's not easy talking about problems via text or yahoo...etc. There are lots of things I want to talk to my g/f about, frustrations that really pee me off, but there's no point doing it by text in case she takes them the wrong way. Face to face is the easiest way, but it's not as simple as that with a LDR.
Good luck, whatever you do:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bornatbirth]

Just venting my frustations .....this is a discussion forum after all:Brick:

dont you think i have problems with my wife?, i made the choice to marry my wife and i have to deal with all the problems we have, never do i post in the forum about any of them or complain, even when she drives me mad with her tantrums :D

whatever problems you have you need to talk to your wife about them, why not think about whats really annoying you, i take it you chat on yahoo to her and talk it over :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[-sillybilly-]

I agree.
Give her time and you will see that you have not made a mistake in marrying a filipina. But if you are persisting that you think shes only after your money after all the advises and suggestions thats given to you then maybe its time for you to think if you really love your wife or are you just making an excuse so you can get rid of her because of other reason. Ask yourself and stop accusing your own wife that you havent even given her a chance to show and prove to you how genuine she is. You should be supporting her by now and that should start your good relationship and getting through whatever is the circusmtances are. But if your gonna think that you are just a cash machine to her then thats definitely gonna end up your relationship.
Be more understanding to her coz im sure when you needed her shes there with you.

[malditako]

its not bad to ask some advice reagrding your concerns but i guess the best way u can do is to talk to your wife..what ever it is im sure your wife will understand. financial problems is always been an issue to any relationship which i believe when tackle with ur partner is easily handle and resolve...money should not be the measurement of love

[joebloggs]

dont you think i have problems with my wife?, i made the choice to marry my wife and i have to deal with all the problems we have, never do i post in the forum about any of them or complain, even when she drives me mad with her tantrums :D

whatever problems you have you need to talk to your wife about them, why not think about whats really annoying you, i take it you chat on yahoo to her and talk it over :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:omg: and here me thinking you had the perfect marriage mrbornatbirth, that brings a :rolleyes: to me, i thought it was just me :icon_lol:

nothing wrong with asking others on here for help :cwm24:, just becareful you dont post any tihng you will regret later :NoNo:

joking aside, many people have problems (many have pera ones :cwm24:) but give it sometime and see what happens, we've been struggling for years becuase of pera, but now finally not any more..

sure it caused some problems but not enough to :cwm3: over or give up on :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mistermatty]

Well she has told me that shes got a job in Manila as a poduim dancer in a nightclub , i guess that will give her some extra money and help with the bills ?

[-sillybilly-]

Well she has told me that shes got a job in Manila as a poduim dancer in a nightclub , i guess that will give her some extra money and help with the bills ?

Thats good. Atleast she can prove that she can get a job. But are you really happy that your wife is a dancer in a nightclub so she can help you out with the bills? Think.Think.Think.
Cant you ask her to wait till she gets in the UK and find another job with much better pay so both of you could help each other "together" and at the same time she could save up to send money home for her family.
But if you both are happy with her job then thats a good start.

[stevewool]

thats nice then a podium dancer in a nightclub, that will do good for you and your wondering about having done the right thing,never mind you thinking she is spending all the money on her family and thats all she wants you for , now your mind will be thinking what is she doing , seems to me that there is more to this story from day one, i and a few others did read what you had put on the first day, think hard about what you write and think hard what pole wifey will be dancing round

[Arthur Little]

Well she has told me that shes got a job in Manila as a poduim dancer in a nightclub , i guess that will give her some extra money and help with the bills ?

Money isn't everything, you know. But, if you're both satisfied with this arrangement ... then so BE it! :anerikke: Just don't be "doing anything silly" [with that avatar of yours]!

[sparky]

weres she working- i am in manila on the 3rd july- perhaps i can make sure shes happy in her job for you:Wave:

[-sillybilly-]

Money isn't everything, you know. But, if you're both satisfied with this arrangement ... then so BE it! :anerikke: Just don't be "doing anything silly" [with that avatar of yours]!

I strongly agree to that Sir Arthur! Money isnt everything...

[bornatbirth]

what is thread really about?

are you happy your wife doing that job, anything is better as long as your not send your money to her and she spends it on her family?

did you read the thread about how much money do i send?

[Steve.r]

Now I am a cynical bugger, but when she tells you that she is expecting, please work out your dates!! If you are happy letting her dance, so be it, but to make money up, from my experience, extras are offered. :do_it:

[burdock]

Not sure if what you post is a joke!

You would serious let your wife do this job rather than support her till she can find a normal and safe job. (not saying that the girls that do this are bad or not nice people but would of thought they only do this coz they have no chose)

I would not let my wife or gf do this and would do everything I could to make sure she never as too

I’m sorry if this offends but is she the one who's made the mistake

[-sillybilly-]

This is really bugging me...im sorry but i have to be honest with you guys...I feel sorry for the wife.
Lets put it this way. You met your wife as a dancer in a nightclub, and you married her. Would you still want her to go back to her old job as soon as you leave the country?
C'mon guys this is just about money. you know yourself that you have enough to support your wife..what about your ego as a husband thinking that you can not support your wife financially, you need to have the balls mate! and now she is push to work, we dont even know if she really likes the job that shes got but she needs to. so she can support her family and stop accepting her husband's support so he wouldnt think that shes only after his money! This is sad.

[mistermatty]

Now I am a cynical bugger, but when she tells you that she is expecting, please work out your dates!! If you are happy letting her dance, so be it, but to make money up, from my experience, extras are offered. :do_it:

Extras ????

Not sure what you mean ??

[stevewool]

to tell you all chaps and ladies too , i think this is some sort of windup , thats my opinion and extras steve.r means like does she do bricklaying or plumbing even electrics what about car washing , what do you think he means:Brick::Brick::Brick:

[stevie c]

couldnt agree more i think this is a big wind up or a very insecure man :crazy:

[raynaputi]

Extras ????

Not sure what you mean ??

Well if a girl is working as a dancer in a nightclub, extras refers to things the girls do to earn more money like entertaining the customers by sitting next at their table (something like what GROs do), might be dates outside the club (depending on the rules of the nightclub i think or depending on the price the customers would give as payment), and once they are out of the nightclub, everything the customers would want, whether a night or nights in bed with the girls or just a decent dinner date, the nightclub owners/managers/etc. doesn't have any control of it...so be careful in allowing ur wife with these kinds of jobs...:doh:crazy::NoNo:

[mistermatty]

Well if a girl is working as a dancer in a nightclub, extras refers to things the girls do to earn more money like entertaining the customers by sitting next at their table (something like what GROs do), might be dates outside the club (depending on the rules of the nightclub i think or depending on the price the customers would give as payment), and once they are out of the nightclub, everything the customers would want, whether a night or nights in bed with the girls or just a decent dinner date, the nightclub owners/managers/etc. doesn't have any control of it...so be careful in allowing ur wife with these kinds of jobs...:doh:crazy::NoNo:

I am speechless ....that these things go on extras , getting paid for sex ???

How do you know about this and whats a GRO ???

[raynaputi]

I am speechless ....that these things go on extras , getting paid for sex ???

How do you know about this and whats a GRO ???

GRO = Guest Relations Officer

Well, ask the guys here, if not all, most of them know that!

[stevewool]

i dont know these things rayna :)

[raynaputi]

i dont know these things rayna :)

hahahaha...:rolleyes::D

[stevewool]

but each to there own , if its what people want and its not effecting anyone then there is no problem

[KeithD]

You may want to look up the club on the internet to see what type it is. Dancers can be just dancers, but I have no knowledge of sex in sleazy Philippine bars like Rayna does.... I'll get my coat :ARsurrender:

[stevewool]

get me a ticket and forget your coat just a umbrella will do

[raynaputi]

but each to there own , if its what people want and its not effecting anyone then there is no problem

yeah..i have nothing against girls working in a nightclub or the like..i know most of them have no choice whatsoever...maybe mistermatty's wife have no other choice too..but that i don't know..i wish u all the best mistermatty and to ur wife..i hope u sort these money problems you are going through...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[raynaputi]

You may want to look up the club on the internet to see what type it is. Dancers can be just dancers, but I have no knowledge of sex in sleazy Philippine bars like Rayna does.... I'll get my coat :ARsurrender:

hahahaha..well i have no friends working in a nightclub...but i have guy friends who talked about these kinds of stuffs though especially during their single days...and some even when they're already married!...:doh :NoNo:

[Englishman2010]

Hmm, I think everyone is being a bit too diplomatic here and being afraid to say it. Not all but a high proportion of dancers in bars and clubs in the Phil's and Singapore for that matter are hookers. I was in Boracay a few months ago, and my g/f pointed out which clubs and bars to avoid if I was going out for a drink on my own. Similarly, there are a handful of disco bars in Ermita where the dancing girls are hookers.
I'm sure these girls only do it because they have no choice, if they don't they won't eat or have a place to sleep. All I can say is that if my own g/f or wife was forced to dance to earn some extra cash, I would make sure that I supported her with enough so that she didn't have to resort to it.

[maria_and_matt]

sorry but i have to say this, what sort of man would let his wife work as a dancer? no matter how hard life gets i am sure there are other ways.. i have been following this thread and i really am so lost for words:rolleyes:

[Steve.r]

I am speechless ....that these things go on extras , getting paid for sex ???

Open your eyes buddy, you never heard of prostitution, oldest trade on earth. I have been to these places and been propositioned by dancing girls, they give you the eye and aim for your wallet. I have had the chance to taste the pleasures in Phils, but didn't as I happy and in love with my mahal, but it's the same in Singapore, anyone been to Orchard Towers........go on, own up.
If this isn't a wind up and this is a real situation, pull your socks up man! Do you want a second hand wife??? for the sake of sending her a bit of cash, save her the temptation to seek money from men who are quite happy to pay nicely for a few hours enjoyment with your wife. :shehumper:
No brainer for me

[raynaputi]

... but it's the same in Singapore, anyone been to Orchard Towers........

I used to work in Singapore, and everytime me and my friends go to Orchard, especially walking towards the Hilton Hotel and other hotels there, you can see a line of prostitutes (most are Chinese who can't even speak English..but you can see Filipinas too) sitting on the benches there waiting for foreigners to pick them up for the night...:doh:NoNo:

Same scenarios here in the Philippines..well not outside the hotels though, but along the nightclubs and bars..

[Sim11UK]

I think he's just being sarcastic, he's got some issues, but he's just rubbing people up the wrong way. :NoNo:

[stevewool]

again i am sorry to say this has got to be a windup , if it was true why aint he here defending himself or his partner, just my thinking:rolleyes:

[Steve.r]

I used to work in Singapore, and everytime me and my friends go to Orchard, especially walking towards the Hilton Hotel and other hotels there, you can see a line of prostitutes (most are Chinese who can't even speak English..but you can see Filipinas too) sitting on the benches there waiting for foreigners to pick them up for the night...:doh:NoNo:

Same scenarios here in the Philippines..well not outside the hotels though, but along the nightclubs and bars..
Yes Rayna, my experience too, both in Singapore and in Phils. I stayed in Makati for 2 nights while waiting for my mahal. I sat outside a bar just having a beer watching the world go by, and was approached by 2 girls offering me anything I wanted. For some girls it is necessary I suppose as their situation dictates, but for a girl with a English husband, it is not right is it.
Mind you, some guys pay for that sort of thing :omg:

[raynaputi]

... but for a girl with a English husband, it is not right is it...

whether she has an English or Filipino or any nationality husband, it doesn't feel right at all letting her work in a nightclub as a podium dancer! :doh

[Steve.r]

Sorry Rayna, you are right, that is what I meant. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

.....anyone been to Orchard Towers........

Nope... but it's now on my "Things to Do Before I Die" list....

[raynaputi]

Nope... but it's now on my "Things to Do Before I Die" list....

let me just ask..."ATE PING!!! Is Keith ready to die?!?! hahahaha..." (knock on wood) :icon_lol::D:Rasp:

[Steve.r]

Nope... but it's now on my "Things to Do Before I Die" list....

The second floor Boss, on the right hand side, can't remember the name of the place now. But if you want a more quiet place there is a nice Aussie run bar up on the top level. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[-sillybilly-]

again i am sorry to say this has got to be a windup , if it was true why aint he here defending himself or his partner, just my thinking:rolleyes:


Or Steve maybe....he has digged his face on the ground now being kicked in his balls:D!
True or not?
I guess it must be true coz where on earth is he gonna get all these stories from?

[-sillybilly-]

couldnt agree more i think this is a big wind up or a very insecure man :crazy:

Even if this is a big wind up we still have to let him know what a real man is and a husband!

[KeithD]

I tried pimping once ... but I didn't look cool in my pink 1971 VW Polo :NoNo:

[Ping]

Keith knows where the red light district in Singapore.The most popular is in Gaylang, one in Serangoon and there's also in China town.

[bornatbirth]

the boss as been busted, naughty boy :icon_lol:

[Steve.r]

Yep, been to Gaylang too :doh

Looking for Durian though :xxgrinning--00xx3: not :do_it:

[bornatbirth]

Yep, been to Gaylang too :doh

Looking for Durian though :xxgrinning--00xx3: not :do_it:

hmm :Erm: looking for stinky fruit :omg:

[stevewool]

i am so inocent here boys and girls dont know what you are all on about this stinky fruit and foreign places :yikes::icon_lol::Cuckoo:

[Steve.r]

i am so inocent here boys and girls dont know what you are all on about this stinky fruit and foreign places :yikes::icon_lol::Cuckoo:

:icon_lol::icon_lol: steve, Durian is the king of fruit. It is forbidden in most hotels to take it in to your room. Smells like ****, don't taste that much better and the texture of extra thick double cream/marmite. Other things on offer in Gaylang do have similar traits :doh:icon_lol:

[triple5]

again i am sorry to say this has got to be a windup , if it was true why aint he here defending himself or his partner, just my thinking:rolleyes:

Not neccasarily :Erm: A lot of guys don't get how that scene works. I sat by a guy on the plane on the way back who had just gotten married, was telling me about how wonderful his wife was, only ever be with one guy before him. He then went on to say how he had started sending more money so she wouldn't have to do that "cultural dancing" anymore in Angeles City :doh He couldn't fathom out why she had to wear a number on her panties :rolleyes:

[KeithD]

You'll also find a lot of these bar girls/dancers appear naked on the internet, as they get 'extra' for allowing pics..... so... erm.... I've heard :rolleyes:

[joebloggs]

:doh
i remember watching a tv program, cant remember the name of it :doh, but it was about the sex trade in Thailand and some of these bar girls, would wave :Wave: to their fiancée or b/f at the airport and a few days later another b/f or fiancée would land :NoNo:

[janoo]

hi mistermatty, life is full of unexpected things...so you must live as it comes along your way..regrets always comes last..anyway, about your burden, it is a matter of understanding to both of you, you must expalin to her to the best of your knowledge n if she understand, good..if not then try to find another option in making her understand..don't stress out yourself regretting of marrying her coz you know u look like a walking ATM to her n that shud not be...anyway, think positive, stay happy n healthy..goodluck!!!!!!:)

[liane]

Well she has told me that shes got a job in Manila as a poduim dancer in a nightclub , i guess that will give her some extra money and help with the bills ?

She may have just said that out of anger... just something to spite you.
She may not be actually considering working as a bar dancer. Sometimes we girls can't say it directly what we mean exactly :rolleyes::Erm:
She just wanted to see maybe if you care for her and needing some support from you.

[-sillybilly-]

:doh
i remember watching a tv program, cant remember the name of it :doh, but it was about the sex trade in Thailand and some of these bar girls, would wave :Wave: to their fiancée or b/f at the airport and a few days later another b/f or fiancée would land :NoNo:

It is true! I know someone whos got a thai girlfriend. He calls her the massage girl...no english at all. First she was so innocent and very sweet. So he fell inlove with her. He became really serious with their relationship, sends loads of money. And then all of a sudden he received a text from a friend in thailand saying that his girlfriend is in this kind of hotel staying with another customer :Brick:

[stevewool]

steady on lads it was a joke i am a full blown male no a thing or 2 , but dont tell the missis:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[simonline]

Well she has told me that shes got a job in Manila as a poduim dancer in a nightclub , i guess that will give her some extra money and help with the bills ?

I'm following this thread.... when I read this my first reaction was I'm very shock... but i try to think and understand… I don't know the whole story why you questioned if you made mistake marrying a Pinay, I don't know you and your wife.

I try to understand why you will let your wife work in a night club as podium dancer? What comes to your mind when she told you about this job?? If I were you, I will be upset why she applied as podium dancer she married already considering her safety, her reputation being married, and her family reputation.

Sorry, for me working in night club is for me is not a safe place. My idea about "night club" is place of temptation not just for entertaining. If you're working there as dancer be prepared someone/many will not respect you. You are lucky if you not experience it.

You are married already so "forget the word I" so whatever you do and any decision you will make, you must consider your partner at first this also sign of respect and love. I really want to work while I’m here to be productive but my husband not agreed for so many reasons, I understand him why he not allows me. It makes him feel proud and happy when he supports me financially.

Sorry about this also but maybe your wife is the one who should ask if she made the right decision marrying you. Coz if you’re a real man that truly loves your wife you will not allow her to work as podium dancer. You must stop her and support her coz that’s your responsibility now. If she really wants to work ask her find other job or give her some money to put up small business like sari sari store. If she not listens to you I think you have to think, you talk about it and both decide. Now you’re not together if you’re not doing to have ideal or at least good relationship what more when you together.

[-sillybilly-]

hmm :Erm: looking for stinky fruit :omg:

Stinky fruit ei?
Verrryyyy tasty though and always for sale in any season!:icon_lol::icon_lol: