Left by Fiance!

[Emma Julia]

I was with my fiance for almost 8 years in Canada. He works in the Uk and also a British Citizen. He ws convincing me to move here for so many years but I keep refusing till this year 2010 that I finally agreed. I arrived last February and we ourselves a place. I went back to Canada to picked up my children which he is the only father that they have known. He is not their biological father but he was very good to them. I brought the kids here and we were happy living together and one day he left us saying that it is wrong that his divorce is not final yet. He promised me and the kids that he would look after us and that life would be so easier that we don't need to fly back and forth. We were devastated but we can't do anything. I have given up everything I had in Canada, such as home, families and I spent enormous amount to move all our belongings here. Everything is expensive for us because we are spending my savings as Canadian dollars converted to sterling pounds. The rented house that we have should be renued on February and I don't kow what to do that I cannot work legally.

My question is, could an immigration lawyer help us to stay here even if he is no longer with me. Isthere anyone who could perhaps give me an immigration lawyer

[Emma Julia]

name. Is there anyone who had similar experienced. Please help! My children really likes it here and wants to live close to him regardless of what he did. What can I do?

[joebloggs]

what type of visa did you arrive in the uk on ?

[Emma Julia]

Tourist and I have gone to the Canada three times since February 2010

[Emma Julia]

Sorry, I came here as a tourist and gone back to Canada three times since February 2010.

[IsaBella]

Hello Emma Julia,

I really hope someone could help you with your problem. I feel so bad for your kids and you probably trusted him so much for your life here in the Uk. Theres few people here that could give you some tips and ideas the best possible way to look after this problem. God Bless! Please hang on.

[LuisaKC]

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. Keep Praying. Im sure u'll find a way.

[rani]

its really sad reading experiences like this... just hold on and be strong emma julia... everything will fall into its proper places... advices from other members will be posted soon :)

[Rosie1958]

I am so very sorry to hear about your circumstances Emma Julia, you must be besides yourself with worry. I do hope that someone here will be able to advise/ help as an immigration lawyer is bound to be expensive but I believe that there is a thread that has been "stickied" on this website about a UK lawyer called Colin Harris.

[KeithD]

I think others will verfiy this this but shifting your whole life here on a tourist visa was definitely the wrong thing to do, that is not what a tourist visa is for.

As far as I'm aware you'll have to go back to Canada as you have no legal connection to the UK.

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi Emma Julia welcome here!!!

Yeah i know it is sad, but i'm afraid you have to go back to Canada because of your status here as a tourist,...you cant run after a man who makes you move here and left you and made your life miserable.
hope you sort everything quickly and move on ....Goodluck to you and your kids.

[RickyR]

Essentially yes, it seems your husband has done something very unfair to you. He has lead you into an awful situation, but I would consider visiting citizens advice and see whether they can offer legal aid, you situation is exceptional.

[joebloggs]

Sorry, I came here as a tourist and gone back to Canada three times since February 2010.

are you Canadian ?
why have you gone back 3 times since feb 2010 ?
have you lived together for at least the last 2yrs?,if so you might have been able to apply for a Unmarried Partner Visa if you had evidence you had lived together at least for the last 2 years.

i doubt any lawyer can help you because your b/f has left you :NoNo:

but maybe http://www.iasuk.org/home.aspx will give you advice ..

[Emma Julia]

I would like to thank each one of you who responded. The reason why I have gone back to Canada is for my treatment. I am a breast cancer patient and he was helping me to take care of the children as he had taken them as his own. He was a wonderful father and a husbang to me till we came here in the UK. His wife decided not to sign the divorce papers and instead for them to try it again. As soon as she found out that I am here she tried everything that she could in order to bring him back home to them. Their children are now over 20's but she convinced them to go back to school so his financial responsibilities will continue. The church that he goes to with her before talked to him to go back to his wife and he did because it is the right thing to do as a christian. It is really hard for me to comprehend how he could leave us. It is not just a one year relationship but almost 8 years. I wanted to go to court for financial support with the children's biological father but he topped me because he said that from now on the children are his responsibility.

[bher]

sorry to hear about your situation now emma julia.. will pray for you and your kids...:)

[Emma Julia]

Thank you kindly.

[Emma Julia]

Please don't make me feel that I came here because I am running after a man. He came to me and courted me and asked my hand to marry him. We have been a couple or a husband and wife in Canada to all our friends, families the school that the children goes to, he introduced himself as a father to everyone. He phones the school for all the children affairs. So please, I am not here because I happened to chose to go after a man.

[Emma Julia]

The message above is for SARS.

[IsaBella]

Emma Julia,

As I can see, you waited for a long time to come here because of various reasons. If you are just after a man, you would have rush here the minute he asked you to come. You are in love with him and so as your childen. It's almost 8 years and indeed it is not running after a man. You have trusted him with your life especially now that you have cancer. He has to look after you!!

[malditako]

I would like to thank each one of you who responded. The reason why I have gone back to Canada is for my treatment. I am a breast cancer patient and he was helping me to take care of the children as he had taken them as his own. He was a wonderful father and a husbang to me till we came here in the UK. His wife decided not to sign the divorce papers and instead for them to try it again. As soon as she found out that I am here she tried everything that she could in order to bring him back home to them. Their children are now over 20's but she convinced them to go back to school so his financial responsibilities will continue. The church that he goes to with her before talked to him to go back to his wife and he did because it is the right thing to do as a christian. It is really hard for me to comprehend how he could leave us. It is not just a one year relationship but almost 8 years. I wanted to go to court for financial support with the children's biological father but he topped me because he said that from now on the children are his responsibility.

being a christian myself i think with ur situation leaving u just like that is unfair and unjust...God is forgiving and for sure He doesn't want any of us to suffer like that just b'coz of that small paper of marriage...get him to sort out things for u to get back the life u have in canada..het him help u....

my prayers are with u and with ur kids.

[Emma Julia]

Thank you gparry,

I asked him to helped me, actually begged him to just pay for all my expenses because I coul not afford to bring my belongings back to Canada. I spent 10,000.00 for relocating and when I came here since February I spent another 20,000.00. I was patient with him thinking that when he is able to finalize everything then we could help each other financially. He has a very good position as a senior Engineer in a prestigious firm here in the Uk. But I am financially exhausted. My family tuened their back on me because they thought I had fooled them regarding him. When they discovered that I was being treated unfairly then they got so angry at him. Last week I went to Canada for my treatment and I have taken one of my daughter. My other daughter stayed with him. I got a phone call from him at 1:30 am asking me to look for a babysitter for our 11 year old daughter because he was threaten by his wife to be reported to social services that I have abandoned my daughter. I was frantically searching for any possible person who could helped me. Luckily I attended a prayer meeting a week prior to my trip to Canada and had exchange info with some people. I phoned them and asked for help. They had offered and went to my house right away to be with my daughter. All of a sudden I could not move my body and i could not breath of all the stres

[Emma Julia]

sed and the ultimatums when they had given me 1.5 hours to look for babysitter otherwise they would phone the social services. My family phoned the ambulance and I was given oxygen and CPR and naturally my chemo treatment was not given to me because I was to weak to be treated. I came back to the UK and was contacted by the social services. The wife informed them that I left my daughter to a stranger who was not comfortable to look after my daughter. I told them that he is my commom law husband that my daughter calls Daddy and the only father that she knows. They were so upset with them as well but they had to do what they must do and that to talk to me but she confirms that they will not do any actions as he agreed to look after her. I had proof that he signs to all of the children's affairs. Nonetheless, it was very stressful and I felt so tired and sick. I requested for him to accompany me to the social services and he agreed but the social worker phoned me at home and upon explaining to her that I was in Canada for my treatment and not just on holidays she agreed tat i don't need to see her. The wife was so upset that i did not get in trouble

[Emma Julia]

She accused me of telling social services loads of lies.

[Emma Julia]

Gparry,

I am willing to give way, as a matter of fact I did already. I am just asking if someone could help me that I could stay here.

For my own sanity and for my children, I called the wife and arranged for a meeting to tell her that I am not after her husband but all I wanted is for him to have in contact with my girls. He is the father of our children. He cared for them, he put them to sleep and hugs them and was there, every single Sunday to go to church with them. One of my condition in coming here is for him to raise our children as Christians. I have nothing left financially. My family turned their backs on me. They felt disrespected.

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Rosie,

I will google Colin Harris.

[sars_notd_virus]

Please don't make me feel that I came here because I am running after a man. He came to me and courted me and asked my hand to marry him. We have been a couple or a husband and wife in Canada to all our friends, families the school that the children goes to, he introduced himself as a father to everyone. He phones the school for all the children affairs. So please, I am not here because I happened to chose to go after a man.


The message above is for SARS.

My apologies, but i just cant understand how your man can have 2 families at the same time..
if he loves you then he wouldnt let you come here and be in danger with his ex and the immigration
if he loves you and your kids he will help you go back somewhere safe especially now you are sick but how??
i would say again that in terms of legalities u cannot run after him, if u have any legal papers that u can hold him to show the immigration lawyer then do so but i'm afraid your last resort for this problem is your Embassy.
hope everything goes well for you and your kids ..be strong!!

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Sars.
He came by just an hour ago to take me to his father in the home for seniors with dimentia. His wife hates his father becasue she said that he is too much of a burden. Yes, I still care for his father as I am the one who took care of him in Canada when he came and stayed with us and when we moved him to his new home my daughter and I were the one who goes there everyday to put hm to sleep. He smiles when he sees my daughter and spend time with her for hours playing games and just simply talking. His real children don't bother to see their Grandfather. While with my ex fiance, he said to me again that he cannot help me financially because his families, wife , children, sisters and mother are all watching him like a hulk. He said that his father in law and his wife convinced everyone that as a Filipina, which it is known here in the UK that they are a money grabbing women and they go after rich men. That hurts me a lot because i have spent so much in this relationship. I pay for my own fare back and forth and for all the children. We go out in the UK and I pay for everything. Why would they generalized all Filipinas like that? That is too degrading. We are decent women!

[IsaBella]

Hello Emma Julia,
I think that your ex fiance still loves you and he knows how good of a woman you are but his family are very superior and the wife is very manipulative. She knows that her husband loves you and I could just imagine the reason he got attracted to you in the first place. The only thing is , he is not strong enough to fight them. As a christian he leaves it to the woman to divorce him but he will not do it himself. I could also imagine that he is hurting.

[purple]

Hi Emma Julia,
My sympathies to you. I can offer my prayers for you and yours children. It must be hard to be in your situation right now but please be strong.
Loving and someone with your ex-fiance for 8 years is long. You must have trusted him. Talk to him and come in terms with him. Being on a tourist visa gives you no power for being there. Stay strong. If you have lived with your husband in Canada, then you are Canadian Citizen right?

[joebloggs]

did you contact http://www.iasuk.org/home.aspx

or try your local lawcentre many have immigration lawyers who might be able to help, but to be honest i doubt it, if your b/f will not help you..

[Terpe]

Emma Julia
I read your story.
It really saddens me so much.
I have absolutely no understanding how your partner could possibly behave in such a way.

My prayers will be with you and your children.
Just at this time of reading, I cannot think of a way to help you achieve a positive outcome.

Have you contacted/informed the Canadian Embassy?

When you talk about living together in Canada as a couple for 8 years, was this for a continious period or did your partner often make visits back to UK?

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Emma Julia.

Thank you Joebloggs.

I spoke to him and all he could say to me, that he doesn't want us to go back to Canada but not offering any kind of help. All he said is to be patient and profess his love for me. It is hard that I have no means of income except spending what I have. The school is expensive, so many extra expenses for the children and I cannot even go to the groceries by myself. I can't carry heavy things or do much work even at home. I travel to Canada in a wheelchair. I will be going to the local citizenship advice this thursday and hoping that they could direct me to the right person.
I am not certain though if I should let my ex fiance know of what I am trying to do. Should I inform him?

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Terpe,

He travels back and forth between two countries. The main office is in the Uk but Oil companies in Canada needs him more thats why I prefer to stay there because he stays more over there than the Uk. But eversince we decide that we will come here he made sure that his travelling will be minimized. He still travel around Uk and he always takes me and the kids.

[IsaBella]

Dear Emma Julia,
When you go to see the Citizenship Advice office, try to bring someone with you for moral support. Do not tell your ex fiance what you are doing unless you have solid solution. Try to do more research. I tried t chec few things for you today and most of them ask for credit card right away. I clicked the recommended immigration lawyer for you by the name of Colin Harris and credit card is necessary again. I think it is better to speak to a lawyer in person and you could relate much better to one another. I hope someone out there could read your story and could recommend a reliable lawyer. Please hang on. So many people have good hearts that could reach up to you. Just keep praying. Do not lose hope.

[joebloggs]

I spoke to him and all he could say to me, that he doesn't want us to go back to Canada but not offering any kind of help. All he said is to be patient and profess his love for me. It is hard that I have no means of income except spending what I have. ?

he doesn't want you to go back, but is not willing to help you, so what does he expect you to do and live off ? :NoNo:

are you aware your only allowed to spend 6 months in a yr in the uk on a visit visa.


are you living together ? from the title of your thread 'left by fiance' your not?, so probably your only hope was a Unmarried Partner visa which is one of the most difficult visas to get because you need evidence you've lived together for the last 2yrs.

[joebloggs]

Dear Emma Julia,
When you go to see the Citizenship Advice office, try to bring someone with you for moral support. Do not tell your ex fiance what you are doing unless you have solid solution. Try to do more research. I tried t chec few things for you today and most of them ask for credit card right away. I clicked the recommended immigration lawyer for you by the name of Colin Harris and credit card is necessary again. I think it is better to speak to a lawyer in person and you could relate much better to one another. I hope someone out there could read your story and could recommend a reliable lawyer. Please hang on. So many people have good hearts that could reach up to you. Just keep praying. Do not lose hope.

i doubt CAB can help, but its worth a try,
but try your local law centre, they might be able to help you http://www.lawcentres.org.uk/lawcentres/detail/find/

or http://www.iasuk.org/home.aspx

contact these people before you pay anyone.

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Joebloggs,
I will do that.

[Emma Julia]

Joebloggs,
Yes, I am aware of six months maximum for tourist. It was never a problem before because he was aware also that I need to go for my treatment in Canada. I joined the clinical trial thats why the Bristol Hospital would have taken me in as they also received funding for Clinical trial but Canada will not release my record as they claimed it is hard for them to let go that they already received the funding for me.

[Emma Julia]

I also doubt that I will be qualified for unmarried partner visa ( De Facto) because he is not divorce yet.

[Terpe]

Emma Julia
You really need to get professional advice ASAP
If you leave it much longer the scenario's for you and the children are not good.

I'm not sure the CAB will be able to offer much, but still worth a try.

Also I really believe you should inform the Canadian Embassy as they may well provide some options given your circumstances.
Again, worth a try. ASAP

My view is that you should not keep your 'partner' in this loop he appears to be very unhelpful. Also I feel he will talk you out of it.

I am concerned and puzzled by his behaviour.
His actions do not support his words.
Of course I just do not have sufficient knowledge about your relationship with him and his with you. But based solely on what you have shared here on this forum, I do fear that he may well be deceiving everyone, including himself.

In one of your earlier posts you mentioned that 'His wife decided not to sign the divorce papers'
Again, this puzzled me. Given that he'd been living with you for 8 years in Canada, his divorce petition should have been uncontested.
What I mean is that after 5 years living apart the petitioner (your partner) issues the
divorce petition (5 years separation) and the divorce papers do not need the agreement
of the respondent.

On his visits to UK from Canada did he live with his wife?
Is he living a double life.

Emma Julia, please start taking some independent actions. Your legal position all round is precarious.

[joebloggs]

I also doubt that I will be qualified for unmarried partner visa ( De Facto) because he is not divorce yet.

he might not need to be divorced, as long as any previous marriage (or similar relationship) that either of you were in has permanently broken down;

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Joe,
We may have a chance if that's the case. I will look into it right away. I hope he will have the courage to help us even if his family will oppose to it.

[Terpe]

he might not need to be divorced, as long as any previous marriage (or similar relationship) that either of you were in has permanently broken down;

Must admit Joe, I also considered that.
Unless he is currently living with his wife, or has previously been living with his wife during the qualifying period.
Or is not willing/able to live with Emma Julia
If unmarried partner visa would be a possibility, could application be made in UK on a tourist visa?

[joebloggs]

i think emma will need entry clearence, maybe if their are compelling and compassionate reasons. its a long shot anyway :NoNo:

[English Rose]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your fiance has behaved despicably. I'm afraid you have no legal rights in this country and will have to leave before your visa expires.

If you are in financial difficulties, ask the local church and for help. There are many charitable organisations. Someone will help you. Or go to your fiance's church, speak to the vicar and say that you accept the situation, explain your circumstances and say that you need financial help. The vicar might bring pressure on your fiance to help you, or he might know of some other source of help.

The wife didn't need to agree to a divorce. In the UK, you can get divorced if you have been separated for 5 years, without the consent of your spouse. If he's now living with his wife, though, that's no longer possible.

Your fiance will surely be desperately unhappy with his wife and will soon realise that his life is with you and the children.

[Emma Julia]

Hello Everyone,
Thank you for your help. The Law Centre is helping me at the moment. The Citizen's advice bureau is trying their best to refer me to the right person. Another agency through the website that Joebloggs recommended had given me more than an hour of free advice. So far, they had been wonderful to me. There is no immediate result for the exact problem but I am hoping that I would get to the right people. I have been very busy talking to at least three solicitors a week or an agency. Please keep me in mind that perhaps you know someone that could help me. Once again, thank you everyone. I will keep you posted.

[Arthur Little]

I will keep you posted.

Please do, Emma Julia ... the people here are always willing to provide a sympathetic "ear" ... and help others in any way(s) they can - whenever/wherever possible. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Arthur! and congratulations for 2 years anniversary! More power to you!

[gWaPito]

So sorry to read your story. This must strike a cord with many members of both sexes, about or have embarked on leaving the life they know behind to start a new and putting all your trust in one person then, for them to send you down the river without a paddle. Everybodies worse nightmare. This could happen to any of us, what a thought. Im puzzled to how you got a place at the Bristol hospital though, seeing how you only got a tourist visa. Keep the faith Emma These things happen for a reason. Good luck !

[Emma Julia]

Gwapito,
Thanks for the messsage. It was not hard to be accepted at Bristol hospital if indeed I chose to. I joined a clinical trial for cancer therefore as a patient under that category could go anywhere because they are funded through the trial. It is actually in their favor to accept me, so they could get more funding.

[Emma Julia]

Hi Joeblogs, Wondering if you are around? wanting to ask you something!

[Emma Julia]

For Gwapito again! I forgot to mention that only countries that joined the clinical trial for cancer. Not all countires.

[Emma Julia]

A question to Terpe and Joeblogs,

Do you think I could qualify in applying for RIGHT TO ABODE as I came from a country whose citizens are commonweath citizen or commonly known British subject ?

[Terpe]

A question to Terpe and Joeblogs,

Do you think I could qualify in applying for RIGHT TO ABODE as I came from a country whose citizens are commonweath citizen or commonly known British subject ?

Nice idea Emma Julia :)
Just being a citizen of a commonwealth country is not enough. There are some other specific requirements that only you can answer.

For details on Right of Abode look here:-

http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/en/howtoapply/infs/inf12rightofabode

Key extract is:-

You will have the right of abode as a Commonwealth citizen if you have been a citizen of a Commonwealth country up to 1 January 1983 and, immediately before that date:

you were a Commonwealth citizen with a parent who, at the time of your birth or legal adoption, was a citizen of the United Kingdom and Colonies and had their citizenship by being born in the United Kingdom, or
you were a Commonwealth citizen and are, or were, the wife of a man with the right of abode in the United Kingdom.

[Emma Julia]

Thank you Terpe,

My parents became a canadian citizen prior to January 1, 1983.

[joebloggs]

yes i'm still here :Wave:
but i'm at work :cwm24:

[Emma Julia]

Cute responsed Joeblogs!! Thank you kindly for your advice.

[Emma Julia]

Joeblogs, As per your adviced and other members, I contacted CAB and I was pleased with their reception. they recommended three lawyers including the law centre. I also wen to iasuk website and I was impressed of their immediate responsed. I left a message for thm to call me at 11:00 am the next day and right on the dot the phone rang. They determined right away if I was eligible to speak to a solicitor. I was given an hour for free to relay my concerns and the conversation was almost two hours without hesitation. They had given me their atmost respect and kindness. Today I received at least 10 pages of information, phones numbers and locations of other solicitor in my area. They also sent me a contract to sign that they would represent me if things will get unpleasant between me and my partner. They had alotted £1,500 worth of legal advice and that includes all the paper works. They highly recommended to contact an immigration lawyer to help me. I went to few of them and they are charging arm and leg. For the meantime I am doing a lot of research on my own.

If you look up, I asked you and Terpe in regards to RIGHT TO ABODE, as I came from a country with commonwealth citizen. Clearly Terpe, responded to that. I then answered him that my parents are Canadian citizens prior to January 1, 1983.

Would you please tell me about Immigration act 1971? Thank you for your help.