Pregnancy and tragic miscarriage in the Philippines a warning!

[Jimbojac]

Very sadly we lost our baby due to a miscarriage a few days ago, the cause { medical speak was " chromosomal abberation." }
Tragically Maricris carried for a long time { 6 months } and this is
a heartbreaking scenario for both of us.
HOWEVER!!! The reason i am posting here is to greatly warn other members of some of the dangers and pitfalls that i have experienced recently of the Filipino medical care system, superstitions and other experiences.
We travelled to Cebu especially to seek a check up from a top doctor when she was 5 months pregnant and was given a glowing report by a well qualified, caring and professional doctor so all was well at that time or so we thought.............
Approx 2-3 weeks ago there was a definate slow down of movement by the baby but i did not find out for days as my Girlfriend did not want to bother me cos she assumed i was working hard here in the UK and did not want me to worry! When she did finally tell me i was naturally annoyed and insisted that she have a check up by her local doctor which she did, they did a routine check and everything seemed fine.
All this time we were doing our regular online chats on YM sometimes for 2-3 hours a day occasionally more.
We were making a lot of plans for the future etc.
So, come the big day of the 6 month ultrasound, no heartbeat was detected and the cold as ice technician/nurse informed her that our baby had died!
Shocked she went home and i received a message by email of what had happened when i woke that morning.
Obviously she was distraught and immediately sought out her family and close friends who shockingly re-assured her that she was not to worry and that they could feel a heartbeat! She then sent me a text and later came online saying for me not to worry but of course i believed the ultrasound and that in fact our baby had died. What transpired next was some of the worst few hours of my life waiting for a 100% confirmation. She was scared to go to the hospital but i insisted.
The doctor there confirmed our worst fears and then advised her to go home and wait to see if a natural labour would occur.
I sought professional help both here and with a friend in Manila who has close ties to top doctors in Makati. Their prognosis was to get her induced sooner than Maricris was being advised.
I insisted that she go to hospital, the "top" one in her town of Dipolog Mindanao - a private hospital.
Once there her Father then had to go and obtain antibiotics from pharmacies outside the hospital because they had run out! There were none in the town so he had to travel by bus hours to the next town.
Next i had to put up with speculation about why she lost the baby, talk of Wak Waks { vampires!!!} etc was bandied about by even her Mother!!
I have visited the Philippines many times and am totally used to their superstitions and beliefs but to hear it in this situation was beyond belief to me as a Westerner brought up in our society.
I am posting this a s a warning to many on this site that if your Wife/ Partner does fall pregnant there please make sure she is near to top medical facilities and be prepared for crazy talk and superstition!
We were planning to have this child in a top facility in Cebu or Manila but could not foresee that this tragedy would happen now at this time, hopelessly stuck in such a third world environment.
Please think carefully folks i would not wish this on anyone!

[sars_notd_virus]

sorry to hear about the bad news, but we cannot just blame the health sector in the Philippines,it is the responsibility of every filipino citizen to go and have their check ups wheter its free(health center) or not(private gp's) ...it is important for a pregnant woman to have a monthly check up even if the pregnancy is complicated or not,this is to monitor the fetus inside her and of course to take care of the mother, this doesnt mean she have to go to the big hospital to do this, a local health center is enough to carry check ups,they got fetal dopplers to monitor the heart beat of the baby and if the preganancy is complicated they would ask the patient to go to the hospital where she can be taken cared of properly.i also dont beleive in wakwaks ,if they got it there in the Philipines, we might also have it here in the UK?but reading about the chromosomal abberation,it looks like there is a problem from the start of the pregnancy and she should be extra careful.anyway, send our good wishes to your gf,hope she recovers faster !!

[bornatbirth]

im very sorry to hear about your plight and the loss of your unborn baby.

you should try and get the reason for the miscarriage so you can plan ahead and avoid it happening again.

[grahamw48]

How awful for you and your girlfriend Jimbo.

I hope that everything works out ok, and that you will both be able to recover from this tragic event and have better luck in the future.

[stevewool]

so sorry to hear your news, we cannot say anymore

[Terpe]

Sincere condolences jimbojac.
You both need to continue communications and support.

[Doc Alan]

Like other members I'm sorry to read of your heartbreaking scenario, Jimbo and Maricris.
You haven't said whether there has now been a natural or induced labour, and obviously I don't know the full details, but I'm assuming Maricris is young and has never had a previous miscarriage.
However, I have to say that a "chromosomal aberration" is also an inadequate and unlikely explanation for your sad loss. The only way you can be sure of the reason(s) is by giving permission for a post mortem examination. This would tell you if there was an abnormality of the baby, and the chances of recurrence in a future pregnancy.
If a miscarriage occurs during the first trimester ( 1-13 weeks) it's usually due to problems with the unborn baby. Often the chromosomes are abnormal in structure or number - either by chance or especially with increased age of the mother. Other risk factors are obesity, smoking or taking drugs including alcohol during pregnancy.
Ultrasound, which is completely safe, should be performed for all pregnant women around 20 weeks. By then, not only the sex of the baby, but also general health, and normal development should be confirmed ( or abnormalities detected ).
By the second trimester (14-26 weeks), however, as in your situation, the usual cause of a miscarriage would be a health condition of the mother. These include diabetes; high blood pressure; other illness; infection; uterus ( womb ) structure, such as fibroids or weak cervix; or polycystic ovaries. The list is not to scare you, but probably to confirm what your "top doctors" in Makati have already told you. If, as we hope, Maricris is healthy, then the chances of a successful future pregnancy are good :xxgrinning--00xx3:.
I'm just so sorry about how the news was broken to you, and wish you all the best for the future.

[Steve.r]

Such sad news for you both. My deepest sympathy.

[tone]

Doc Alan - great insight to this..

Jimbo & Maricris I am really sorry to hear this my best wishes to you both.
Tone

[stevie c]

jimbo my heart goes out to you & maricris no one can imagine the pain that you both must be going through at this moment in time.

[Pete/London]

Sorry to hear your sad news, my sympathy to you both.

[Englishman2010]

Very sad news Jimbo, my sincere condolences

[PAT]

My sympathy to you both.....it made me sad.

[malditako]

my heart goes out to you and your partner...didn't she go for a prenatal check up regularly?...its hard to deal with the people who still stuck by the old province life, beliefs and superstition.

hope u recover soon from this pain

[raynaputi]

i'm so sorry for your lost jimbojac..like what gparry said, it's really hard to deal with people in the provinces who still believe in myths, superstitions and beliefs..just be strong coz i know your wife needs you to depend on..

[Jimbojac]

Thanks Doc {and to all the other members here}
This is still ongoing and we have to cope with the burial tomorrow of our little girl.
I will write and reply more when i can get my head around all this.

[Rosie1958]

Hi Jimbojac
I am so very sorry to learn about your extremely tragic news. I too experienced a miscarriage with my first pregnancy and although I didn’t have to experience a still birth, I was absolutely heartbroken and I can empathise with how you both must be feeling. Like many women, I then went on to have a very normal pregnancy which I sailed through without complication (or even morning sickness) and gave birth to a very healthy baby boy . Please do ensure that you talk and comfort one another at this very difficult time, with plenty of hugs all 'round. Understanding that things happen for a reason and not blaming oneself, plus focussing on the future certainly helped me get through a very difficult time. Thinking of you both

Rosie

[South-east boy]

Sorry to hear your terrible news. Must have been so much harder being that it was at that stage of the pregnancy and especially as you were over here away from her. Hopefully you'll get some answers and that in the future her next pregnancy will go smoothly.

[Jimbojac]

Once again thanks for all the kind words and advice here.
Time is the greatest healer and we are focussing on the future and thinking ahead.:)
James and Maricris.

[Arthur Little]

Please accept my profound sympathy, Jim & Maricris ... I've only just read your heartbreaking news on returning from holiday this forenoon. Whilst mere words must sound hollow at such times, I know you'll be aware of their sincerity. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[dontpushme]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you must have felt and must still be feeling. Hopefully, the next pregnancy culminates in the birth of a healthy baby (without the complications of superstition and old wives' tales).

[Jimbojac]

Please accept my profound sympathy, Jim & Maricris ... I've only just read your heartbreaking news on returning from holiday this forenoon. Whilst mere words must sound hollow at such times, I know you'll be aware of their sincerity. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Thanks Arthur.

[Jimbojac]

Like other members I'm sorry to read of your heartbreaking scenario, Jimbo and Maricris.
You haven't said whether there has now been a natural or induced labour, and obviously I don't know the full details, but I'm assuming Maricris is young and has never had a previous miscarriage.
However, I have to say that a "chromosomal aberration" is also an inadequate and unlikely explanation for your sad loss. The only way you can be sure of the reason(s) is by giving permission for a post mortem examination. This would tell you if there was an abnormality of the baby, and the chances of recurrence in a future pregnancy.
If a miscarriage occurs during the first trimester ( 1-13 weeks) it's usually due to problems with the unborn baby. Often the chromosomes are abnormal in structure or number - either by chance or especially with increased age of the mother. Other risk factors are obesity, smoking or taking drugs including alcohol during pregnancy.
Ultrasound, which is completely safe, should be performed for all pregnant women around 20 weeks. By then, not only the sex of the baby, but also general health, and normal development should be confirmed ( or abnormalities detected ).
By the second trimester (14-26 weeks), however, as in your situation, the usual cause of a miscarriage would be a health condition of the mother. These include diabetes; high blood pressure; other illness; infection; uterus ( womb ) structure, such as fibroids or weak cervix; or polycystic ovaries. The list is not to scare you, but probably to confirm what your "top doctors" in Makati have already told you. If, as we hope, Maricris is healthy, then the chances of a successful future pregnancy are good :xxgrinning--00xx3:.
I'm just so sorry about how the news was broken to you, and wish you all the best for the future.
Thanks for your time Doc, much appreciated.
As it happened the cause was not as first thought a Chromosomal abberation { Another seemingly unqualified bit of speculation!} Our baby was born seemingly perfect. God knows what happened but she is laid to rest in the beautiful mountains near Dipolog Mindanao.
I just hope that next time all goes well.
We will plan for a pregnancy in the West where tragedies if they do sadly happen at least make some sense.
Thanks again for your learned insight.
James and Maricris.

[Doc Alan]

I'm glad if members ( including myself ) are in any way helping you to come to terms with your sad loss. Take things at your own pace, hopefully relatives and friends will continue to support you.
The fact that your "baby was born seemingly perfect" and ( I assume ) Maricris is in good health might at first sight add to your grief, as you have no explanation.
However, a miscarriage at 6 months ( 24 weeks ) and after, in the UK is regarded as a stillbirth, and - unsatisfactory as it may be - loss in the third trimester is often unexplained despite full investigations.
Without going into further possible reasons for this, I hope that you will view this positively. From what you have said, there is little reason why a future pregnancy should not be successful. That is how I hope you will come to think about this, but no one is in any way doubting your grief right now.
Please take care James and Maricris :).

[alanmf1]

Jimbojac,
I have watched this thread very closely and my sympathies go out to you and Maricris.
Unfortunately as recent as March, Lyn had a miscarriage too whilst at home in Bohol
She was just entering her 2nd trimester and all we can put it down to was added stress at a time when her visa application was happening!
The care in the Phillippines for normal births is obviouly adequete but seems to be a drain on resoucre should problems arise
We firmly believe that everything happens for a reason not that that probably aids your comfort now
i thank the doc also for his reassurance at a difficult time
Wishing you happiness, good health and good wishes
Alan & Lyn

[Jimbojac]

Jimbojac,
I have watched this thread very closely and my sympathies go out to you and Maricris.
Unfortunately as recent as March, Lyn had a miscarriage too whilst at home in Bohol
She was just entering her 2nd trimester and all we can put it down to was added stress at a time when her visa application was happening!
The care in the Phillippines for normal births is obviouly adequete but seems to be a drain on resoucre should problems arise
We firmly believe that everything happens for a reason not that that probably aids your comfort now
i thank the doc also for his reassurance at a difficult time
Wishing you happiness, good health and good wishes
Alan & Lyn
Thanks for your words, its amazed me how many people i have spoken to here at home have had similar experiences of miscarriage and still birth.
It is never an easy thing to go through and sadly we were relaxing more and more in recent weeks as everything seemed to be going well.
Best wishes to you both in the future.

[Jimbojac]

I'm glad if members ( including myself ) are in any way helping you to come to terms with your sad loss. Take things at your own pace, hopefully relatives and friends will continue to support you.
The fact that your "baby was born seemingly perfect" and ( I assume ) Maricris is in good health might at first sight add to your grief, as you have no explanation.
However, a miscarriage at 6 months ( 24 weeks ) and after, in the UK is regarded as a stillbirth, and - unsatisfactory as it may be - loss in the third trimester is often unexplained despite full investigations.
Without going into further possible reasons for this, I hope that you will view this positively. From what you have said, there is little reason why a future pregnancy should not be successful. That is how I hope you will come to think about this, but no one is in any way doubting your grief right now.
Please take care James and Maricris :).
Thanks Doc i have forwarded on your information to Maricris, she is a brave girl and has obviously been through a lot. Thankfully she has a lot of support and we have some great future plans to look forward too.
Thanks again for all your time and help.

[purple]

I'm sorry to hear about you and maricris Jimbojac. It is unbelievable that even their local rural health units doesn't have midwives. It is now mandatory in the Philippines that every barangay will have midwives to look after every pregnant woman and it is a mother's obligation to have the baby checked every 4 weeks on the first trimester.

You could sue the local health officer there for that jimbojac.

[gWaPito]

Hi Jim.

Please accept our (mark and jane) deepest sympathies.

We cant imagine the hell you are both going through.

Ours thoughts and prayers are with you this sabbath.

Mark and Jane xx

[Jimbojac]

I'm sorry to hear about you and maricris Jimbojac. It is unbelievable that even their local rural health units doesn't have midwives. It is now mandatory in the Philippines that every barangay will have midwives to look after every pregnant woman and it is a mother's obligation to have the baby checked every 4 weeks on the first trimester.

You could sue the local health officer there for that jimbojac.
Hmmmm a few factors such as she has moved 3 times in the last few months could be factored in here but i made sure she had regular check ups by qualified doctors. Plus always nagged for her to eat well and take recommended supplements and vitamins.
I think province people are much more reliant on their Mothers and friends for advice.
Now in hindsight we are hoping to plan for a baby once Maricris is in the West to lessen any risks further.
An interesting fact is that a good friend of mine has married a German woman and in Germany pregnant women are offered as standard free check ups every week by their doctors. According to her the UK is sadly behind in care too.

[gWaPito]

Hmmmm a few factors such as she has moved 3 times in the last few months could be factored in here but i made sure she had regular check ups by qualified doctors. Plus always nagged for her to eat well and take recommended supplements and vitamins.
I think province people are much more reliant on their Mothers and friends for advice.
Now in hindsight we are hoping to plan for a baby once Maricris is in the West to lessen any risks further.
An interesting fact is that a good friend of mine has married a German woman and in Germany pregnant women are offered as standard free check ups every week by their doctors. According to her the UK is sadly behind in care too.

Jim. Where we live in the UK the care my wife received was second to none.

She saw a midwife weekly from week 34 before that it was onceevery 3 weeks

My wife's sister had her boys privately in Manila 70 thousand and that was just for the 2 births. according to Jane, the care her sister got delt didn't come close to the care Jane received in Swindon.

Like you said ' get her to the west' health wise its the best place and that came from my wife's family in The Philippines!

[grahamw48]

I have to agree.

Although at the time I was really enjoying life in the Phils, as soon as the ex found out she was preggers, plans were made to ensure the birth was in the UK.

Safety plus citizenship. :)