Worried about my filipina gf

[marcus]

Guys i really need your advice. I am new here for the reason of getting your feedback.

I have been in love with my filipina gf for 12 months now and i went to the philippines to be with her for 6 months. I have done a lot of giving and have had some ups and downs but nothing like what i got to find out today.

My gf has 2 sisters who are married to japanese. Another who has a filipine bf and another single. The family dont like me because i dont to have the money like the sisters husband have and i have been accused of not looking after her 7 year old boy. I found out last week that my gf age wasnt 32 like i was told but 24 years. She has toild me today that she handed over her name to her sister to go to japan to get married to her japanese husband because she was married before to a philipino man and wasnt able to get a proper divorce because you not allowed to get divorced in the philippines, so my gf said that her sister took on the name of her and was married under her name to her japanese husband and she got her visa to move to japan. The reason she did this was to pull the family out of the poverty and give the family a chance for financial freedom. Not only that but my gfs boy was also signed over to her sister and his birth certificate so he could be looked after by her. Even though the child was born by my gf before i met her through another relationship previous. My gf age was changed on the birth certificate and instead of being 32 as she said she was it is 24 yrs in her passport and birth certificate. This was to change the identity of my gf sister to marry and go to Japan with her husband. However my gf has had relationships with wealthy men before and was offered alot of money , but when she fell in love withb me he family made her a slave and treated her terrible for the reltionship she was having with me. The family today after all this time dont speak or talk with me and never recognise me and wont have anything to do with me. This is bad enough in itself but i am shocked to hear this news today...has anyone come across this before.? Please reply me because i hope to find an answer. What do you think i should do. Mark

[joebloggs]

:cwm24: seek advice from a Immigration and criminal lawyer, i dont think there is any easy way to sort this out :NoNo:

[sars_notd_virus]

Guys i really need your advice. I am new here for the reason of getting your feedback.

I have been in love with my filipina gf for 12 months now and i went to the philippines to be with her for 6 months. I have done a lot of giving and have had some ups and downs but nothing like what i got to find out today.

My gf has 2 sisters who are married to japanese. Another who has a filipine bf and another single. The family dont like me because i dont to have the money like the sisters husband have and i have been accused of not looking after her 7 year old boy. I found out last week that my gf age wasnt 32 like i was told but 24 years. She has toild me today that she handed over her name to her sister to go to japan to get married to her japanese husband because she was married before to a philipino man and wasnt able to get a proper divorce because you not allowed to get divorced in the philippines, so my gf said that her sister took on the name of her and was married under her name to her japanese husband and she got her visa to move to japan. The reason she did this was to pull the family out of the poverty and give the family a chance for financial freedom.

Sorry Mark, I think you have been set up and scammed , forget about your filipina gf and move on

[bigmarco]

Hi Marcus and welcome to our forum.:Hellooo:
As you have been in this relationship for 12 months and you've only just found out her age it would appear that there has been quite a bit of deceit on the part of your girlfriend and her family. To continue with the relationship with a view to to making it permanent would doubtless involve more lies and deceit only this time involving you. Do you really want that.
Lets face it to come clean now would result in jeapordising the sisters marriage to the Japanese husband. I cant see the family going along with that.
In the words of Matt Monro I think it's time to "WALK AWAY".
I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation and I wish you all the best for the future.

[jehzroblenida]

I feel bad and worried hearing stories like yours. :bigcry:
As a Filipina, I am well aware that some Filipina's are doing this to help their family which is not the right thing to do. You need to have a word with her and ask if she's willing to leave her family even if they "don't like you". If she's willing to do it then sort advice from lawyers so you can both move forward as a couple.

[tiger31]

:cwm24: seek advice from a Immigration and criminal lawyer, i dont think there is any easy way to sort this out :NoNo:easy way out alright he should get the hell out of that relationship that story is unreal

[grahamw48]

Hi Mark. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

In all seriousness, I would recommend you find a new lady...preferably one who has NOT been accustomed to being maintained by 'rich' foreigners, who is GUARANTEED free of children, and is not a liar.

Mate, I have 'been there done that'.

There are so many lovely uncomplicated girls there that you and I both know that you'll stand a better chance at finding happiness with one of those, rather than set yourself up for a life of pain, mistrust and aggravation with the present girlfriend. :NoNo:

Do the sensible thing.

[jehzroblenida]

I'm sorry to say this but your other option is to let go and move on. You got to remember that if your gf is too attached with her family, it will be a future problem for you.

A good foundation of a relationship are "respect", "honesty", and "true love".

[marcus]

She is willing to leave her family and move to australia with me and she tells me that she really hates her famioly for the way they now treat her with me. So she is willing to move away and on with me. I have been trying to get her visa to come here with me but hearing this has just made me unsettled and unsure about the future. She said that it was her herself that offered this way out for her sister to have her ID and name and move out of the country to be with her japanese husband. She did it for her family. Her familoy have pressured her to leave me and move to japan so she can find a japanese husband who is rich enough to look after her, but she doesnt like japanese men, and prefers me instead. So the family have shut the door me and her. So she is isolated and so am i working in Australia so she can come here.

[Dedworth]

A tangled web of deceit, what she's telling you now could well be another pack of lies I'd shape up and ship out now before it costs you massively.

As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children

[jehzroblenida]

A tangled web of deceit, what she's telling you now could well be another pack of lies I'd shape up and ship out now before it costs you massively.

As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children

Agree! Be very careful! Sometimes it's better to use your mind than your heart. Look for a Filipina who's not even asking for money or any thing (that's one way to know if the lady is genuine).

[tone]

Mate in the future despite the pain now there will be bigger pain and then a lot of regret.
From what you have said I'd offer only one piece of advice which is move on.

Good luck in what you do.
Tone

[Terpe]

Marcus, I'm also very sorry to learn your story.

Do you believe you can legally succeed in securing a visa for your g/f to enter Australia ?
Then to secure a permanent visa?
Personally I doubt it.

Aside from which, I agree with those comments intimating that you are likely to face a very bumpy and uncertain future with this lady.

[imagine]

cut your losses and run

[gWaPito]

A tangled web of deceit, what she's telling you now could well be another pack of lies I'd shape up and ship out now before it costs you massively.

As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children

Gotta agree with Graham and Ded here...too much baggage...life is complicated enough with adding additional mill stones over one's head :NoNo:

Trust your gut instinct...trust the instinct what got you to join this forum to seek help and advice.

Dont look at the last 12 months as lost look at it as a lesson of life :)

Good Luck
From one Mark to another :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mickcant]

Hi marcus:Wave:
I too loved a Filipina who even married me but it was all lies, she wanted only money and a visa, please walk away now, it will get much worse.

There are good honest ladies there who will truly love you back, walk away from this one.
Mick.:)

[laurel]

Hi Mark ,................as difficult as it may be , please take the advice of those who have been hurt and have learned the awfull and hard way.

Take a deep breath , and move on............its way too complicated , and the signs are there of lies , deceit , trickery ,etc etc .

I wish you the very best of luck..............:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Rhose]

hi marcus! welcome to the forum!!
I am a filipina and most of us knew about our culture being attached with our family but in your case I'd better to leave your gf. May be she's using you to get out from her situation. We are in modern era where a woman could take care of herself by finding a job not in your resource. Think about yourself, it's better to loose her and move on. Find somebody whom you deserve.

[Leen]

in 12 months of your relationship with her you just found out recently about that lie?think about it b4 making any move of going back to her,that woman will do anything and everything to lie to you over and over again....you better get out of that mess.....relationship is not all about love,for it to work out properly we need trust,respect,commitment and honesty and i doubt your gf had it....feel sorry for you but you'll be more sorry and it will cause you great pain if you will cling on

[Iani]

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through mate. I'm afraid the clincher for me here, is the fact she didn't tell you her real age until a YEAR into the relationship. Something like that is a pretty big lie to carry.

Now add to this the complexity, is her sister really married - if she wasn't divorced before? It's a criminal offence in the UK, I don't know about where she is now.

Unfortunately there's more baggage being handled here than Heathrow

[malditako]

Guys i really need your advice. I am new here for the reason of getting your feedback.

I have been in love with my filipina gf for 12 months now and i went to the philippines to be with her for 6 months. I have done a lot of giving and have had some ups and downs but nothing like what i got to find out today.

My gf has 2 sisters who are married to japanese. Another who has a filipine bf and another single. The family dont like me because i dont to have the money like the sisters husband have and i have been accused of not looking after her 7 year old boy. I found out last week that my gf age wasnt 32 like i was told but 24 years. She has toild me today that she handed over her name to her sister to go to japan to get married to her japanese husband because she was married before to a philipino man and wasnt able to get a proper divorce because you not allowed to get divorced in the philippines, so my gf said that her sister took on the name of her and was married under her name to her japanese husband and she got her visa to move to japan. The reason she did this was to pull the family out of the poverty and give the family a chance for financial freedom. Not only that but my gfs boy was also signed over to her sister and his birth certificate so he could be looked after by her. Even though the child was born by my gf before i met her through another relationship previous. My gf age was changed on the birth certificate and instead of being 32 as she said she was it is 24 yrs in her passport and birth certificate. This was to change the identity of my gf sister to marry and go to Japan with her husband. However my gf has had relationships with wealthy men before and was offered alot of money , but when she fell in love withb me he family made her a slave and treated her terrible for the reltionship she was having with me. The family today after all this time dont speak or talk with me and never recognise me and wont have anything to do with me. This is bad enough in itself but i am shocked to hear this news today...has anyone come across this before.? Please reply me because i hope to find an answer. What do you think i should do. Mark

giving identity to someone else was very common way back early 90's to those who wishes to work in japan as a entertainer. I remember a close friend of mine in high school who used her sisters birth certification so she can work in japan as a singer b'coz her age wont fit the governments required age ( bit young). If thats the case of your GF it is impossible for her to get a passport again unless she would use someone elses birth certificate just like her sister. if that makes sense. No surprise your gf's family may also want a japanese man for her. I saw a lot of filipinas married to a japanese man. Most of them own the biggest houses if not mansion inside our village. Get what they want from branded clothing, bags etc. and their generosity extends to the wifes family.

[grahamw48]

Unfortunately 'entertainer' was often another word for 'prostitute'. :cwm3:

[Rhose]

Unfortunately 'entertainer' was often another word for 'prostitute'. :cwm3:
:xxgrinning--00xx3: agree

[marga]

Hi marcus:Wave:

All i can say is forget your gf and move on.Find a woman who is baggage free.She will just give you more pain in the future if you continue with your relationship.

Dont stress yourself with your gf and her family as they only seek a man who will make them rich.

[marcus]

giving identity to someone else was very common way back early 90's to those who wishes to work in japan as a entertainer. I remember a close friend of mine in high school who used her sisters birth certification so she can work in japan as a singer b'coz her age wont fit the governments required age ( bit young). If thats the case of your GF it is impossible for her to get a passport again unless she would use someone elses birth certificate just like her sister. if that makes sense. No surprise your gf's family may also want a japanese man for her. I saw a lot of filipinas married to a japanese man. Most of them own the biggest houses if not mansion inside our village. Get what they want from branded clothing, bags etc. and their generosity extends to the wifes family.

Yes thanks for that....Two of her sisters are supposedly married to Japanese men and they have at least one child each to the ir relationship. When they found out i had run out of money in my last trip they closed the door on me and tried to get my gtf to leave me and have her visit Japan for two months. I was on skype with her every night but the family were cold and unfriendly and never wanted to speak or be friendly with me. Her birth certificate say she is 24 and the dates stack up on her passport too. Her name is the same on both. Except that she said and advertised her age at 32.

Her Birth certificate was issued in March 2007. And it has it authenticated and sworn as her at age at 24. But i know she is 32. She doesnt look 24. It stacks up that she did a swap with her sister. Because her sister is older than her. Yes apparently to get to Japan she swapped her identity and she also took legal paternity of her boy who is 7 years old. I feel alot is missing in this story. But thats all i got so far. My gf said she did it to protect and help her family . She said the atorny or judge approved the "change" of names and age to secure the things they needed to do. I find it personally illegal and highly risky because if the family tun on her like they have now and treat her like a slave and close the door on her because of her relationship with me smacks of corruption and illegal nightmare that not only includes her family but the judge that was aware of the change in the first place. None of this makes any sense, because her japanese husband could be brought to justice if caught abetting this issue. They want to take her boy off her too, so he is kept in her sisters family in Japan. But my gf wants to return him to her ex boyfriends family in the philippines for upbring. But her family wanbt her to hand him over to them in Japan . They pay big money so he is looked after and goes to the private school and gets everything he needs but my gf gets nothing from them, and she is the one that helped her sister in the first place. It just baffles the mind why her family could do this to her. They should be at her door trying to look after her (my gf) not treat her like a slave in the family ... I just dont get it.

hER

[marcus]

I feel bad and worried hearing stories like yours. :bigcry:
As a Filipina, I am well aware that some Filipina's are doing this to help their family which is not the right thing to do. You need to have a word with her and ask if she's willing to leave her family even if they "don't like you". If she's willing to do it then sort advice from lawyers so you can both move forward as a couple.

Yes she wants the relationship very much, and wants to walk away from her family who have treated her bad. They never treated her bad when her ex was sending 1 million p to her every year but he never turned up to visit her from the US after 3 years online with her. She gave a lot of money away to her family and friends that needed it. But when she turned down the relationship for me , she un beknowns also got a shock at how her family was treating her when they found out i wasnt as rich. They have become cold and arrogant and have said and done things which i am ashamed to even talk about on this forum.

[Rhose]

Yes thanks for that....Two of her sisters are supposedly married to Japanese men and they have at least one child each to the ir relationship. When they found out i had run out of money in my last trip they closed the door on me and tried to get my gtf to leave me and have her visit Japan for two months. I was on skype with her every night but the family were cold and unfriendly and never wanted to speak or be friendly with me. Her birth certificate say she is 24 and the dates stack up on her passport too. Her name is the same on both. Except that she said and advertised her age at 32.

Her Birth certificate was issued in March 2007. And it has it authenticated and sworn as her at age at 24. But i know she is 32. She doesnt look 24. It stacks up that she did a swap with her sister. Because her sister is older than her. Yes apparently to get to Japan she swapped her identity and she also took legal paternity of her boy who is 7 years old. I feel alot is missing in this story. But thats all i got so far. My gf said she did it to protect and help her family . She said the atorny or judge approved the "change" of names and age to secure the things they needed to do. I find it personally illegal and highly risky because if the family tun on her like they have now and treat her like a slave and close the door on her because of her relationship with me smacks of corruption and illegal nightmare that not only includes her family but the judge that was aware of the change in the first place. None of this makes any sense, because her japanese husband could be brought to justice if caught abetting this issue. They want to take her boy off her too, so he is kept in her sisters family in Japan. But my gf wants to return him to her ex boyfriends family in the philippines for upbring. But her family wanbt her to hand him over to them in Japan . They pay big money so he is looked after and goes to the private school and gets everything he needs but my gf gets nothing from them, and she is the one that helped her sister in the first place. It just baffles the mind why her family could do this to her. They should be at her door trying to look after her (my gf) not treat her like a slave in the family ... I just dont get it.

hER
and do you believe that her family would treat her as a 'slave'? ...:NoNo: :NoNo: a story that you can watch everyday in Philippine ''telenovela'' written by dramatic writers. Sometimes in tagalog we called it 'gasgas na linya'. Everybody would give you the best advice that probably will make you hurt because you love her but it will hurt you more if your going to continue your relationship with her. Remember that mind is over your heart.

[jehzroblenida]

Hi Mark,

You need to be very careful and keen if she is now telling the truth or its another lie. I can't imagine that her family will treat her as a slave. At the first place, if she ever consider your feelings "the lying game" will not last for 12 months. She should have tell you earlier about the real situation.

I remember my fiancee was a victim of other Filipina's too who's just after his money. Until now, he's scared to admit that they just used him (my poor fiancee) :D
But he's very thankful to escaped from his previous relationships. I remember telling him he was so stup*** to give 500 pounds to her 1st ex Filipina gf for a "Birth Certificate" and monthly allowance. The 2nd ex Filipina gf claimed she has pneumonia so my fiancee sent her some money and after she received the money he "never hear from her". After few months, the 2nd ex gf message him again wanting him back (we are already together).... I found out about this when he left his phone and accidentally press the "ok button" to read the message and saw her messages. I am glad that my fiancee replied to her that he is very happy and its too late coz we are together.

I am just giving you an example Mark. I hope one day you will realise your worth and find a genuine lady. I can see how sincere you are with your gf but if she managed to hide things for 12 months it's another story. Please, try to close your eyes and pray. I know somehow you will find an answer to all this confusing stories. I wish you all the best! God bless

[rhaichard]

hi mark ,

i am filipina too , and i've never encounter a situation like yours .. but think first before you make another step that in the end it might hurt yourself .. i really cant imagine that filipino family treat their daughter as a slave .. i have a friend that grown to her stepmother but never treat her like that ..

a lot of decent and loyal girls that you can find .. she lied to you before so dont believe to another lies

[rhaichard]

my husband and i only have a relation as bf/gf for only 3months before we get married .. hes not from wealthy family but my family except him and treat him like their own son .. when my husband propose to me my mum only ask if i really decided to marry my husband and now look we are still together and happy as a married couple ..

dont ruined your future ... try to follow all their advice here .. it will help you

[rhaichard]

open your eyes to reality and dont focus to your lier gf ... if she really serious to you and loves you she will tell the truth from the start and not wait for 12months to tell her secret ...

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi Mark. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

In all seriousness, I would recommend you find a new lady who is GUARANTEED free of children, and is not a liar.







As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children


Gotta agree with Graham and Ded here...too much baggage...life is complicated enough with adding additional mill stones over one's head :NoNo:



It is unfair to say that children from a past relationship is a ''baggage'' , its not their fault to popped out in this world having ''irresponsible selfish parents'':rolleyes:

A real relationship works together with baggage or not.

[grahamw48]

I am giving an honest and thought-out opinion...to which I am entitled.

It does make a relationship much more challenging where step-children are involved, and especially when bringing them to the UK.

Anyone considering the prospect needs to seriously consider the implications of this FOR THE SAKE OF those children as well as their own future.

People don't always think these things through sufficiently before 'taking the plunge' IMO.

As I'm sure you know, I brought up two Filipino stepchildren from 1 and 3 years of age, and brought them here to the UK, so I do have relevant experience.

[joebloggs]

It is unfair to say that children from a past relationship is a ''baggage'' , its not their fault to popped out in this world having ''irresponsible selfish parents'':rolleyes:

A real relationship works together with baggage or not.

:xxgrinning--00xx3:
having 2 stepkids myself, i wouldn't call them 'baggage' :NoNo: i knew they came as part and parcel with the misses :D

and after more than 10yrs, no regrets at all :rolleyes:

[grahamw48]

I would point out of course that I have never referred to the kids as 'baggage'.

[eliza]

Marcu just move on don't waste your time for the wrong person lies is always repeating......

[karenkeith]

me and my bf was already 5 years in relationship we have ups and downs too but in ur situation i doubt as if she deserves ur love for her..

[joy_86jm]

Hi Mark! Sorry to hear about your story :( I am sure not too late for you to move on and find someone who is not complicated and hope this is a lesson to be learned. I suggest that next time check the important docs of your future gf like birth certificates, Id's , and passport. :)

[quickwillow]

I am giving an honest and thought-out opinion...to which I am entitled.

It does make a relationship much more challenging where step-children are involved, and especially when bringing them to the UK.

Anyone considering the prospect needs to seriously consider the implications of this FOR THE SAKE OF those children as well as their own future.

People don't always think these things through sufficiently before 'taking the plunge' IMO.

As I'm sure you know, I brought up two Filipino stepchildren from 1 and 3 years of age, and brought them here to the UK, so I do have relevant experience.

My well thought out challenge will officially start from next week with the arrival of my stepson, It is true say there has been a lot of extra work, time and £££ in order to get them here but like you.... :shemademe::REDancedancer08:

[grahamw48]

Good luck mate.

Kids can also be a joy . :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

:xxgrinning--00xx3:
having 2 stepkids myself, i wouldn't call them 'baggage' :NoNo: i knew they came as part and parcel with the misses :D

and after more than 10yrs, no regrets at all :rolleyes:

Perhaps the term baggage wasn't ideal..maybe additional emotionally weight...I wasn't for one moment referring to children as baggage...I was meaning the whole situation with child there has to be a father and perhaps a broken marriage to sort out...this was the additional weight I was referring too.

Joe, over the years I remember many a time you have reminded us about the thousands of pounds you've bombed out and the sacrifices you made in your professional career for the sake of getting all your children here...im not saying you were moaning about it but, you came close to it.

All what im saying..in hindsight given the choice you probably would of taken a smoother path.
:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

Joe, over the years I remember many a time you have reminded us about the thousands of pounds you've bombed out and the sacrifices you made in your professional career for the sake of getting all your children here...im not saying you were moaning about it but, you came close to it.

All what im saying..in hindsight given the choice you probably would of taken a smoother path.
:xxgrinning--00xx3:

:icon_lol: i've moaned about visa fees who hasn't, i've moaned about why Europeans dont have to pay and I do, even you wouldn't call that fair gWaPito:rolleyes:

:icon_lol::laugher: smoother path, you've no idea :D every day above ground is a good day :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Lhailhani]

Hi marcus! I am Filipina too and I AGREE what everybody saying here.... Be very careful.. specially if that relationship started with a LIE.. nahh don't expect that to last and be honest till the end... in another way you are being USED or to be USED if you will not ended that relationship and move on.. there are lots of FILIPINA , good filipina out there ;) :Hellooo:

[gWaPito]

:icon_lol: i've moaned about visa fees who hasn't, i've moaned about why Europeans dont have to pay and I do, even you wouldn't call that fair gWaPito:rolleyes:

:icon_lol::laugher: smoother path, you've no idea :D every day above ground is a good day :xxgrinning--00xx3:

You're right I dont think its fair :NoNo:

'' every day above ground is a good day''

That's the point some of us were making...still you wouldn't change a thing now :xxgrinning--00xx3:
You and me, both...I remember my days before my wife came ....magnolia walls...deathly quiet house...didn't realize what a miserable life I was having...

Now its orange walls..blue doors..hanging baskets...babies stuff everywhere and most of all the sounds of life in the house be it screaming, laughter..wife singer..marvellous!...I too wouldn't change a thing :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

I understand totally what you're saying.

It IS a big challenge taking on someone else's kids....nevermind bringing them here from another country.

That's really what I was meaning, that people thinking of taking on such a challenge should give serious thought as to whether or not they are the sort of person who could cope with it.

Cos it aint easy ! :)

[marcus]

Hi Guys i want to say how really i appreciate your comments and feed back on my last post. It seems i have some issues in my current relationship that i need to solve.

I want to ask you one more question.

I have 2 boys from my last relationship not living with me but living with their mum, and i have my filipina gf and we have been talking about buying a new home in Manila. My gf currently lives in her sisters house with her 8 year old son in the same bed. Now we have had the relationship for 2 years and i went to Manila and lived with her and gave her everything and we bought a house together as well. The problem was the gf s boy took all her energy and time and emotion and it was hard on me because i wanted the relationship with her not with two people. My gf at times would go back to the sisters place down the road when we have an argument, and would lock the door on me preventing me from coming into the house when we are fighting, thats our own house of course, and would sleep with her boy in the spare room and talk to him about me in tagalog and leave me sleeping on my own in our room. We sold the house when i went back to Australia and i have been supporting her and her son since.

Our relationship has survived to this point where she wants to get a home for us near where her family lives. Her family dont like me, because i dont have enough money like her past bf where he paid more than i ever did.

I have said to her yes i would love to do that and would pay the deposit. But on one condition. That we have the house to live together only. And her boy be looked after by her family down the road in the subdivision . He has tv and nice bed in this room there and her sister live there too. I said that he can come and visit us and he can stay a night or two but that our relationship must improve and create the space for us. I didnt want complications and issues and arguements and her leaving the house with him to go back to her sisters place and i had to come along and rescue the relationship again. Her boy is undisciplined and noisy and brings others into the house like what happened last time. I dont want that to happen again.

I need your help on what i should do. If there are others here that have been through similar cirumstances then i would love to hear from you. This is my true circumstances and hope you can help me with the right answers . Am i right to ask this that we live together only.?

[marcus]

Thanks guys i really do appreciate your comments and i have been going through them. Its hard sometimes to see the wood for the trees and having other participate is really helpful. Thank you for that. ...

I do have one question for you.

I have been with my filipina gf for 2 years and she has a 8 yr old boy and i have been supporting her financially and covering her needs and she wants to buy a home and i do too, but is it right to expect that her son live in it with her when i am not there and her family live down the road in the same subdivision ? Her family dont talk to me and half of them live in Japan with their japanese husbands as described before.

I want the relationship with her, but not have to build 2 relationships. Is it right to say that i want her in the home and not her child? Her child is undisciplined and noisy and messy . Is it right to say that if i m the one buying the home.?

I need your answers on this one please.

[Terpe]

Marcus, I have deleted the duplicate thread you posted on the same subject.

[Steve.r]

Are you having a laugh Marcus? :NoNo:

So you find it wrong that if you bought a new house with your gf (who has a son from a previous relationship)... you dont want the son to live there with his mother :doh:doh:doh:doh

Have you not learned anything about Filipine family culture over the last 2 years? Have you not bonded with her son already? How can you have a relationship with your gf without including her son??? thats just crazy :crazy:

So he may be messy, noisey and undiciplined.... maybe he is longing for a father figure in his life... and you have ignored him or made it clear you don't want him... He is 8 years old for crying out loud, be a family together if you really love your gf.

To me, it sounds like a relationship built on a foundation of egg shells. Either man up and do the right thing by the son, or pack up and clear out before you damage the poor boy even more.

[Leen]

Hmmmmmmmmm,it would be selfish for you to ask her to do that right???sorry for my word but you cant ask her to abandon her son and her sister will look after him....if you really love her you have to accept her baggage or without baggage and i dont think her son is making your relationship complicated...both of you need to figure it out what's good for you and it should be a win-win situation....dont expect her to leave her kid coz it wont happen unless she's a mean woman....

[Iani]

Apologies if this sounds harsh, but if I was to read this post in isolation, I would presume you were an internet troll who had joined to try cause an arguement by posting an outragious story.

I'm not saying you are, but this story, well it's going to get some reactions alright, and mine may be mild in comparison to some.

I am though going to try to be helpful.

Firstly to your actual question - asking are you reasonable to ban your girlfriends child from what will be her house. Ermmmmm!
Really, the fact is, if you meet a new partner, and she has children, then they come as part of the package. I can't think of any half decent mother would accept such a proposal really.

Moving on though to the bigger question which this has thrown up however, let's look at a few facts here

1. You once bought a house together. When you had arguements, she would go to her sisters and lock you out, instead of talking it through and resolving your differences like relationships usually demand to be successful.

2. She talked about you to her son in the local language. Well how do you know she was talking about you for sure? If she was though, that's beyond rude and not a good sign (ps start to learn this language, if only a few words so you can keep track)

3. You sold the house but you have been supporting her and her son since you went home. Erm HELLO!

4. You haven't been supporting her as much as her last boyfriend. Well to know this, she must have told you, and told you in some detail. I'm sorry, but I spent some time in Thailand and I got to know some bargirls socially and their mentality. Your girlfriend doesn't sound like a filipina, she sounds like a bargirl.
We get cultural things coming in here, most filipinas want to and prefer to work, why should she need "supporting". Why are you expected to support her?
Sorry but this is REALLY ringing alarm bells.

5. Your relationship hit a low enough for you to sell the house and move back home, BUT now she wants you to buy another house for her? I bet she bloody does!

Look, really I wish you the best and I want things to work out for you, and I can't allow for your feelings if this "love" thing has taken over, but come on - she has more baggage than Heathrow. This relationship just doesn't seem to inspire confidence.

[raynaputi]

It is very rarely for a Filipino to leave their family behind, especially their kids. You're asking for her to do something that would benefit you. And the kid's only 8 yrs old, what more harm can he do apart from being noisy and undisciplined? And him bringing other people in the house? I'm sure he's just bringing friends of his like a normal person does. Now if you don't want anything to do with her son and doesn't want to include him in your plans with her, you better leave them. You met her with her son, if you really love her, accept them both and not just your gf.

[andy222]

It is very rarely for a Filipino to leave their family behind, especially their kids. You're asking for her to do something that would benefit you. And the kid's only 8 yrs old, what more harm can he do apart from being noisy and undisciplined? And him bringing other people in the house? I'm sure he's just bringing friends of his like a normal person does. Now if you don't want anything to do with her son and doesn't want to include him in your plans with her, you better leave them. You met her with her son, if you really love her, accept them both and not just your gf.

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mickcant]

If you are not living there with her you will never know what really happens will you:NoNo:

Seperating a child from his mother can bring many problems too, what does his mother say?
Mick.:)

[raynaputi]

Okay, I just merged the threads about marcus' problems with his Filipina gf..Marcus, as the comments on the first problem you posted, you'd rather leave this very complicated relationship you're in..the more you prolong this, the more problems you'd get..I'm sorry to say this but it's the best thing you can do. The gf's family doesn't like you and you don't like your gf's son. I don't know how you can compromise when the girl's family wants money from you and you want your gf's son to not be in a relationship with you and his mom...:doh

[grahamw48]

You need OUT of this relationship Marcus....for the sake of everyone involved.

Nothing more to say. :NoNo:

[marcus]

Sorry its hard to add every detail of the relationship otherwise i would need the whol;e website to say what i need to say. But the truth is i sold the house and my gf and boy went back to stay with her sister while i went back to Australia to help her and find a job to make a future basically. I had to do this to get started in Australia as i had run out of funds.

Since then i have passed about 300 000 p to her up to now to help her and keep her. But i was going to get her a house but then found out about the lies that we had been discussing before. The little boy of her acted like a "spy" running to the family home when things wernt going right between us and saying an aweful lot of things that wernt even true. And it just got complicated with misunderstandings and third party gossip and other rubbish was passed round in her sisters community of friends. So i am now really concerned that if i got a home nd went back that we would have the same issues we had before and my gf interest in her sons life would be more priority than our relationship. This creating a cycle of issues , emotional withdrawl and verbal bad feelings. I really like the girl and i wish for a closer relationship with her to work out our own path in our relationship. Thats what i wish for but i feel very much that its going to be the same especially that she wants to find the home in the same area as the sisters that despise her and treat her like a slave. I hope you can understand that a bit. No definitly not i am not a internet troll and i never take advantage of anyone ... I am a really giving man .


Apologies if this sounds harsh, but if I was to read this post in isolation, I would presume you were an internet troll who had joined to try cause an arguement by posting an outragious story.

I'm not saying you are, but this story, well it's going to get some reactions alright, and mine may be mild in comparison to some.

I am though going to try to be helpful.

Firstly to your actual question - asking are you reasonable to ban your girlfriends child from what will be her house. Ermmmmm!
Really, the fact is, if you meet a new partner, and she has children, then they come as part of the package. I can't think of any half decent mother would accept such a proposal really.

Moving on though to the bigger question which this has thrown up however, let's look at a few facts here

1. You once bought a house together. When you had arguements, she would go to her sisters and lock you out, instead of talking it through and resolving your differences like relationships usually demand to be successful.

2. She talked about you to her son in the local language. Well how do you know she was talking about you for sure? If she was though, that's beyond rude and not a good sign (ps start to learn this language, if only a few words so you can keep track)

3. You sold the house but you have been supporting her and her son since you went home. Erm HELLO!

4. You haven't been supporting her as much as her last boyfriend. Well to know this, she must have told you, and told you in some detail. I'm sorry, but I spent some time in Thailand and I got to know some bargirls socially and their mentality. Your girlfriend doesn't sound like a filipina, she sounds like a bargirl.
We get cultural things coming in here, most filipinas want to and prefer to work, why should she need "supporting". Why are you expected to support her?
Sorry but this is REALLY ringing alarm bells.

5. Your relationship hit a low enough for you to sell the house and move back home, BUT now she wants you to buy another house for her? I bet she bloody does!

Look, really I wish you the best and I want things to work out for you, and I can't allow for your feelings if this "love" thing has taken over, but come on - she has more baggage than Heathrow. This relationship just doesn't seem to inspire confidence.

[joebloggs]

You're right I dont think its fair :NoNo:

'' every day above ground is a good day''

That's the point some of us were making...still you wouldn't change a thing now :xxgrinning--00xx3:
You and me, both...I remember my days before my wife came ....magnolia walls...deathly quiet house...didn't realize what a miserable life I was having...

Now its orange walls..blue doors..hanging baskets...babies stuff everywhere and most of all the sounds of life in the house be it screaming, laughter..wife singer..marvellous!...I too wouldn't change a thing :xxgrinning--00xx3:

no i wouldn't change a thing, you did say with hindsight i might have taken a different path, but if i did where would i be now :Erm:

i've also moaned about what the misses has gone thru to work here as a doc, the years, trips to london to do exams, the cost and time wasting :NoNo: again she wouldn't have had to do this if she married a European:angry:

same with me gWaPito little Joe :Jump:, we've got a lot more in common than YOU think :rolleyes:

[gWaPito]

no i wouldn't change a thing, you did say with hindsight i might have taken a different path, but if i did where would i be now :Erm:

i've also moaned about what the misses has gone thru to work here as a doc, the years, trips to london to do exams, the cost and time wasting :NoNo: again she wouldn't have had to do this if she married a European:angry:

same with me gWaPito little Joe :Jump:, we've got a lot more in common than YOU think :rolleyes:

Joe...you are getting hold of the wrong end of the stick!

Again you've made it pointedly clear in the post ive quoted why picking a lady without previous is without doubt a much easier route to go down.

Of course you got much in common...happily married couples generally do :rolleyes:

Joe, im not slating you..Goodness im the last person fit to pass judgement on others.

Keep up the good work Joe :Sex:

[ynwa]

Hi MArc
I Agree to everyones opinion. She is a good writer and can make a box office telenovela in Philippine television.
Please Don't be fooled you are too genuine to enter such a messy life.

[gWaPito]

Thanks guys i really do appreciate your comments and i have been going through them. Its hard sometimes to see the wood for the trees and having other participate is really helpful. Thank you for that. ...

I do have one question for you.

I have been with my filipina gf for 2 years and she has a 8 yr old boy and i have been supporting her financially and covering her needs and she wants to buy a home and i do too, but is it right to expect that her son live in it with her when i am not there and her family live down the road in the same subdivision ? Her family dont talk to me and half of them live in Japan with their japanese husbands as described before.

I want the relationship with her, but not have to build 2 relationships. Is it right to say that i want her in the home and not her child? Her child is undisciplined and noisy and messy . Is it right to say that if i m the one buying the home.?

I need your answers on this one please.
I'll be honest with you..up until the above post you had my sympathy.

Now im thinking you probably deserve one another...what sort of man wants to separate a mother from her child :NoNo:....they come as a package buddy...not to be mixed up with baggage :rolleyes:

Like its been said before here..get out of the relationship before you do any more damage...and im thinking about the 8yo boy...if you adults wanna screw your lives up, all well and good......you dont mess with children.

[lordna]

We now have 3 pages of this rubbish!. For christ sake just listen to what everyone has told you and forget the girl.

Not only that forget trying to date any nice filipinas....just go and find an English girl who will probably cheat on you anyway...its what you deserve!

Think i would rather hear that than you spoil some nice filipinas life...
My god..who would even consider trying to seperate a mother from her child . You must be a complete ***hole!

[sars_notd_virus]

I do have one question for you.

I have been with my filipina gf for 2 years and she has a 8 yr old boy and i have been supporting her financially and covering her needs and she wants to buy a home and i do too, but is it right to expect that her son live in it with her when i am not there and her family live down the road in the same subdivision ? Her family dont talk to me and half of them live in Japan with their japanese husbands as described before.

I want the relationship with her, but not have to build 2 relationships. Is it right to say that i want her in the home and not her child? Her child is undisciplined and noisy and messy . Is it right to say that if i m the one buying the home.?

I need your answers on this one please.

An easy solution is to let your gf go to Japan and marry a rich japanese , ...then she can buy a home for herself ,her son and you.

Normal people like us here in the forum will not understand you and your gf ,...as you said you wanted a relationship with her ....does that include ''LOVE'' I dont think you both have it??....you are both spirit suckers !!:crazy:

[eliza]

Thanks guys i really do appreciate your comments and i have been going through them. Its hard sometimes to see the wood for the trees and having other participate is really helpful. Thank you for that. ...

I do have one question for you.

I have been with my filipina gf for 2 years and she has a 8 yr old boy and i have been supporting her financially and covering her needs and she wants to buy a home and i do too, but is it right to expect that her son live in it with her when i am not there and her family live down the road in the same subdivision ? Her family dont talk to me and half of them live in Japan with their japanese husbands as described before.

I want the relationship with her, but not have to build 2 relationships. Is it right to say that i want her in the home and not her child? Her child is undisciplined and noisy and messy . Is it right to say that if i m the one buying the home.?

I need your answers on this one please.



marcus.. Don't force your self just wake up..
Yes i know you love her.
But did she love you
maybe yes to very hard to proub it

ok. I want toadvice to everyone if you fall inlove to in one person don't give all live some for.your self....

Thank you...

[CBM]

Marcus, I must say that I agree with what everyone else has said.

There are many really nice girls and really nice families; it is time to walk quickly away from this one and don't look back.

You are well out of line about the child, as others have already said.

[kim c]

What ? you wanted to separate an year old child to her mother? :cwm23:Do you have a heart ? Do you really love your gf? Now I’m confuse, after reading your post I don’t think I have to sympathize on you .:NoNo: Im sorry but in my opinion its better if you get out of the relationship.

[grahamw48]

Like its been said before here..get out of the relationship before you do any more damage...and im thinking about the 8yo boy...if you adults wanna screw your lives up, all well and good......you dont mess with children.

Totally agree.

How selfish can you get ? :NoNo:

[Tinker]

Hi Marcus,
If its true that her sister use her identity fo rthe passport, etc.. well sad to say, there isn't no other way she can have her own passport. If you really love each other,the only way is to be with her in the Phils, but then THINK and DECIDE its all up to you.;)

[imagine]

with all this illegal stuff she doing, i would stay well clear, for fear of wrongly getting involved,