I had a family...but....

[Moy]

could be too personal but how many here who send regularly in PH for there family...I mean sending cash..??every week..?? and dont complain:Erm::cwm23::Help1:
i might be one of those daughters who loves their parents so much..that she sends everything she's got even if there ain't anything left for her:bigcry::bigcry:...but the thing is it's for medication....etc....and you can't ignore it:Brick::Brick::xxaction-smiley-047 feeling guilty but at times you want to let it out...:anerikke::ReadIt::meet-1::meet-1: or ill blow out:76::76::76::Brick:

[stevewool]

I understand all you are saying Moy, its hard but you must have something here for you and your family here, send what you can but you must live yourself

[NoRest]

...my sentiments exactly! I send money to my parents every month, I mean they are grateful but sometimes it just gets on my nerves when they mention their neighbour have these and have that... When will they understand that money doesn't grow on UK trees? But anyway, one day gagantimpalaan din tayo ni Lord...

[Moy]

i understand all you are saying Moy, its hard but you must have something here for you and your family here, send what you can but you must live yourself
true steve:cwm25: but i would say i know exactly how to live there with nothing been there:cwm3::cwm3: ..the thing here is seems you aint have but some things here are very easy to get...like a bunch of grapes on shops:cwm24::biggrin: there in PH takes me even months to earn just to get those:xxaction-smiley-047:xxaction-smiley-047:cwm24: otherwise same cost of living really:Brick::xxaction-smiley-047

[Moy]

...my sentiments exactly! I send money to my parents every month, I mean they are grateful but sometimes it just gets on my nerves when they mention their neighbour have these and have that... When will they understand that money doesn't grow on UK trees? But anyway, one day gagantimpalaan din tayo ni Lord...

lucky you are once a month me every week:xxaction-smiley-047:bigcry::bigcry:

[Slip]

I have made a point of telling my other half that when she comes here to live I will find it hard to support the both of us, but I will look after her the best I can and will provide a roof for her and put food on the table, but can't promise untold riches and life's luxuries. I also said if she wants to get a job here and send money home she can, but has to remember that we should come first, no point in leaving ourselves wanting.

I feel some things have to be said before we get married, just so there are no misunderstandings later.

[Moy]

I have made a point of telling my other half that when she comes here to live I will find it hard to support the both of us, but I will look after her the best I can and will provide a roof for her and put food on the table, but can't promise untold riches and life's luxuries. I also said if she wants to get a job here and send money home she can, but has to remember that we should come first, no point in leaving ourselves wanting.

I feel some things have to be said before we get married, just so there are no misunderstandings later.
i exactly know what you saying..the thing isi cant i ignore when it is about medication for your parent..that need to take..without those money i felt i will fail to be a daughter:(:cwm24::cwm24::bigcry: hard enemy is the conscience u know:Brick::Brick:

[bigmarco]

i exactly know what you saying..the thing isi cant i ignore when it is about medication for your parent..that need to take..without those money i felt i will fail to be a daughter:(:cwm24::cwm24::bigcry: hard enemy is the conscience u know:Brick::Brick:

I totally agree Moy you can't hold back when it comes to health.
We send an allowance every month but there's always more available for medical emergencies. Last year was an expensive year but family is family :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Moy]

I totally agree Moy you can't hold back when it comes to health.
We send an allowance every month but there's always more available for medical emergencies. Last year was an expensive year but family is family :xxgrinning--00xx3:
tell me about it:olddude::cwm24: been struggling..that i cant even send myself home..because im here supporting them..awfull but hey thats life...i see the evidence my dad:heartshape1::heartshape1::olddude::wink:

[gWaPito]

Difficult one Moy. ..what do you do, fail as a daughter or fail as a wife :NoNo:

Issues like finance are a taboo subject in some households. ..it only gets talked about when the excrement hits the fan :doh

[Moy]

Difficult one Moy. ..what do you do, fail as a daughter or fail as a wife :NoNo:

Issues like finance are a taboo subject in some households. ..it only gets talked about when the excrement hits the fan :doh
hey my friend your back :cwm24::action-smiley-081::censored::heartshape1: ermm being a wife is my masters degree i've earned for lifetime :Cuckoo::biggrin: doctorate really. and very successful too :censored::action-smiley-081::biggrin:
:Cuckoo:

[gWaPito]

You're a good one Moy xx

[joebloggs]

Difficult one Moy. ..what do you do, fail as a daughter or fail as a wife :NoNo:

Issues like finance are a taboo subject in some households. ..it only gets talked about when the excrement hits the fan :doh

not in our house, i sent my misses money every month for years, now she sends her mom and aunt money every month, they both made sacrifices for her, and I understand that and don't have a problem with it :wink:

[marksroomspain]

could be too personal but how many here who send regularly in PH for there family...i mean sending cash..??every week..?? and dont complain:Erm::cwm23::Help1:
i might be one of those daughters who loves there parents so much..that send everything she got even aint nothing left for her:bigcry::bigcry:...but the thing is its for medication....etc....and you cant ignore it:Brick::Brick::xxaction-smiley-047 feeling guilty but at times you want to let it out...:anerikke::ReadIt::meet-1::meet-1: or ill blow out:76::76::76::Brick:

Moy,

This is a real tough one but I will put it in a nutshell:

What you have to remember is that when you were in the Phils what happened if you didn' have enough for medical expenses there and with an average wage of about £100 a month if your lucky then once thats gone how did you cope.

I appreciate how difficult it must be for you but like others have said your priority is to yourself and husband first then if you can afford extras then so be it.

Sorry for sounding blunt Moy but thats reality and I wish you well...

Love & Peace...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

I've seen Filipino friend work themselves on the UK grindstone for years and years sending money to their sisters, mothers, brothers blah blah blah..

They suffer a sparse existence in the UK and the problems and dramas from the R.P keep coming and coming via phone calls, texts, letters, you name it.

Years later their families are still poor and the goose that lays those golden eggs slowly become more haggard with the new worry lines appearing on their foreheads..

I used to tell them that I thought they were mad and that they should think of their own futures first and foremost..

It made no difference.

Very sad.

The families left behind here think that those that are working abroad are rich!!

Like us Puti foreigners.. Millionaires by default!! :icon_lol:

[London_Manila]

Difficult topic to say the least :cwm25:

This is where east meets west and things are not so great :Help1:

Probably another good reason why NOT to get married

Dont bother with the "im so loved up and i would not change anything" i have heard all this stories before from guys who think with their hearts and certainly not their brains

The bottomless pit where you send money hand over fist and still the demands keep on coming..............

Where does it all end ? care to give that a thought.................

[gWaPito]

Difficult topic to say the least :cwm25:

This is where east meets west and things are not so great :Help1:

Probably another good reason why NOT to get married

Dont bother with the "im so loved up and i would not change anything" i have heard all this stories before from guys who think with their hearts and certainly not their brains

The bottomless pit where you send money hand over fist and still the demands keep coming..............

Ive got a Brit/Fil family living close to me. They've been married 19 years. The kids all grown up and about to leave the nest..it should be the start of a new easier life for the husband and wife...it's not.

For years the wife has been sending all her wages over to Philippines because of parents failling ill health all the while the husband has been holding down 2 fulltime jobs.

They took a visit there a while back and thing were not as described :NoNo: None of her brothers worked yet all had nice clothes..played cards for money and smoked and drank

They were having the life of Riley all on the expense of the downtrodden husband back here in UK
The wife still sends it all back even though the claimed failling ill health wasn't has bad as they found..........the husband, he's still working himself into the ground
Who's having the better life I wonder :Erm:

[mendoza82]

I sending money back home weekly, well, it's for my parents house to get finished after Yolanda, it's quite hard specially when they think I got loads of money here, and when I tell them the truth how I struggling here I mean in general like still adjusting the life here in uk. and I feel like no one believes me,and it's makes me insane..

[gWaPito]

not in our house, i sent my misses money every month for years, now she sends her mom and aunt money every month, they both made sacrifices for her, and I understand that and don't have a problem with it :wink:

Good for you Joe :xxgrinning--00xx3:
You're obviously very lucky to be in that position.
Many here like you send back but are struggling to make their own ends meet.

[gWaPito]

I sending money back home weekly, well,it's for my parents house to get finished after Yolanda, it's quite hard specially when they think I got loads of money here, and when I tell them the truth how I struggling here I mean in general like still adjusting the life here in uk. and I feel like no one believes me, and it's makes me insane..

Sorry to read this Mendoza.

[Michael Parnham]

We only would send money in an emergency, as Fred, London-Manila and Mendoza say. What's the point of struggling yourself to make ends meet and still send money every month, emergency it's a big YES providing you can afford it, be sensible! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gladz]

I am lucky as my parents have their jobs and same with my siblings so i am not obliged to send money for them for this and that. I can send some for birthday pressies or emergencies but not as monthly or weekly allowance.

I remembered the seminar i had at CFO where the speaker told us to educate our family about money that money isn't grown on trees, and not to spoil our families with luxurious things cos they tend to rely and become parasites,that they don't strive hard or don't look for jobs cos they knew they are receiving monthly allowances . She even told us to save and invest. I totally agree with what she said and my husband kept telling me that uk is not paved with gold. Save and invest for you don't know what the future holds.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bigmac]

interesting thread this.

i havent much idea about living costs in the philis.

when my g/f was here 2 years back--on a student visa--she worked locally and sent money back each month--2 kids back home. then--when she came back here last summer on a visit visa--the deal was i would help out with cash for her kids--as--obviously--she wasnt able to work here.

ive heard of builders labourers out there earning £5 a day--is that for real ? and

expenses there and with an average wage of about £100 a month

so--is there such a thing as an "average" monthly family income ?

how far would--say 10,000 pesos a month go ?

[stevie c]

We have set a limit to what we send each month & will not go over that limit on in emergencies

[joebloggs]

Good for you Joe :xxgrinning--00xx3:
You're obviously very lucky to be in that position.
Many here like you send back but are struggling to make their own ends meet.

what position is that :cwm25: I'm struggling :doh, i could be using the money to pay what debts i have off quicker, but then i know the sacrifices they made for years for my misses, so I'm not complaining :wink:, it's not a sprint but a marathon :biggrin:

[gWaPito]

We only would send money in an emergency, as Fred, London-Manila and Mendoza say. What's the point of struggling yourself to make ends meet and still send money every month, emergency it's a big YES providing you can afford it, be sensible! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I actually said it as well :cwm25:

[gWaPito]

what position is that :cwm25: I'm struggling :doh, i could be using the money to pay what debts i have off quicker, but then i know the sacrifices they made for years for my misses, so I'm not complaining :wink:, it's not a sprint but a marathon :biggrin:

Yes Joe ...we are all too aware of the sacrifices their parents made for them bringing them into this world. ..my past wives had it drummed into them from the word go :cwm25: hence the burden of guilt strung around their necks until their dying days.

I'm talking about folks sending money when they can ill afford it. ..like choosing to do that rather than putting food on the table and clothing on their backs. This is the reality for many here :mad:

[gWaPito]

interesting thread this.

i havent much idea about living costs in the philis.

when my g/f was here 2 years back--on a student visa--she worked locally and sent money back each month--2 kids back home. then--when she came back here last summer on a visit visa--the deal was i would help out with cash for her kids--as--obviously--she wasnt able to work here.

ive heard of builders labourers out there earning £5 a day--is that for real ? and

expenses there and with an average wage of about £100 a month

so--is there such a thing as an "average" monthly family income ?

how far would--say 10,000 pesos a month go ?
I don't know where that average came from either.
I know of lady with 3 children under 5 years of age living quite comfortably on 10000 a month. 5000 on rental and the remainder on food and clothing. It can be done :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

it's not a burden, its called paying it back or 'paying it forward' (have you ever seen the film?, if you have you'll know what i mean :wink:) , her mom got 3 of her 4 kids thru uni on her own :wink:

but in my misses case that was 10 long years at uni, her aunt quit her job to look after my stepson, sure i took over the 'burden' and we've been making 'sacrifices' since, thou the misses hasn't done this for money, her dream was to be a doctor as long as she can remember, but her rewards will come very soon and her 'burdens' and 'sacrifices' will come to an end :wink:

i dont think ros is going without clothes or food??, she can only send what ever she has left , its her money :cwm25:

[gWaPito]

I wasn't talking about any particular individuals Joe :NoNo:

Yes, it's Moy's money to do as she pleases. Like the money her husband's earns is to spend as he also pleases :xxgrinning--00xx3:

In my book, loyalty comes first and foremost to the immediate family.

Just my humble opinion.

[gWaPito]

I am lucky as my parents have their jobs and same with my siblings so i am not obliged to send money for them for this and that. I can send some for birthday pressies or emergencies but not as monthly or weekly allowance.

I remembered the seminar i had at CFO where the speaker told us to educate our family about money that money isn't grown on trees, and not to spoil our families with luxurious things cos they tend to rely and become parasites,that they don't strive hard or don't look for jobs cos they knew they are receiving monthly allowances . She even told us to save and invest. I totally agree with what she said and my husband kept telling me that uk is not paved with gold. Save and invest for you don't know what the future holds. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
The speaker at your CFO seminar was talking sense :xxgrinning--00xx3:
I wonder how many of the recipients actually take it on board :Erm:

[tiger31]

well correct me if i,m wrong but The parents drum it into their kids that they made sacrifices to bring them into the world and expect them to help them out when they start working.I guess its a culture thing lol as I have never helped my parents out as they never needed help .british kids are far too selfish to be helping parents its a me me me culture .I help my g,f ,s family out sometimes ,but I have pointed out that i,m not rich and us come first ,The question is who will help us if the crunch came ? er nobody .

[fred]

but I have pointed out that i,m not rich and us come first ,The question is who will help us if the crunch came ?

Well.... My kids just graduated high school and we told em if they wanna finish College then they better get real and realize that they better bloody support their old man in his old age!!
Alright!!!
:icon_lol:...
just kidding..
But am I though??

[joebloggs]

Yes, it's Moy's money to do as she pleases. Like the money her husband's earns is to spend as he also pleases :xxgrinning--00xx3:
.

I'm sure what they both earn is THEIR money???, just as THEIR marriage is a partnership :wink:

I'm sure her husband understands why she wants to\needs to send money, as much ROS would if it was his mother that needed help :wink:

[lordna]

My wife also sends money to her family every month. There always seems to be a reason to send extra...medical or otherwise particularly as they are all living in and around Tacloban/Basey and hard hit by Yolanda. The last few months have been particularly challenging. We are also struggling with very large phone bills as the family have had no electricity or internet up till now. So you're not alone Moy!

[gWaPito]

Well.... My kids just graduated high school and we told em if they wanna finish College then they better get real and realize that they better bloody support their old man in his old age!!
Alright!!!
:icon_lol:...
just kidding..
But am I though??


I would like to think when push came to shove, they'd be there in your corner :xxgrinning--00xx3:

My first father in law doted on his 3 daughters. .spoilt them rotten even his nagging but loving wife.

His mother died in a mental institution in the early 70s. ..he thought he may go the same way.

What happened. .he got sick, so the family stuck him into a nursing home :NoNo: he died there 2 years later.

I wouldn't hold your breath Fred

[fred]

I would like to think when push came to shove, they'd be there in your corner :xxgrinning--00xx3:

My first father in law doted on his 3 daughters. .spoilt them rotten even his nagging but loving wife.

His mother died in a mental institution in the early 70s. ..he thought he may go the same way.

What happened. .he got sick, so the family stuck him into a nursing home :NoNo: he died there 2 years later.

I wouldn't hold your breath Fred


Naaa...Wont happen over here..Its a cultural thing!!
Anyway.. I dont believe I`ve ever seen or heard of an old people`s home over here?

[gWaPito]

Naaa...Wont happen over here..Its a cultural thing!!
Anyway.. I dont believe I`ve ever seen or heard of an old people`s home over here?

You're in the safest place then :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

In fact. .reading your reply to LM yesterday about homeownership being better than rental with the fact there's no nursing homes to be abandoned in, I'm convinced the UK is not the place to be in old age :icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

In fact. .reading your reply to LM yesterday about homeownership being better than rental with the fact there's no nursing homes to be abandoned in, im convinced the UK is not the place to be in old age :icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3:

You and me both!

[Moy]

I'm sure what they both earn is THEIR money???, just as THEIR marriage is a partnership :wink:

I'm sure her husband understands why she wants to\needs to send money, as much ROS would if it was his mother that needed help :wink:

you both are correct..thanks for opinions:heartshape1::wink::76::biggrin:

[Michael Parnham]

I actually said it as well :cwm25:

OOPS sorry Mark! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

I'm sure what they both earn is THEIR money???, just as THEIR marriage is a partnership :wink:

I wonder how many here spent a decade or 2 being married to a white British.

You're correct Joe. .marriage is a partnership:xxgrinning--00xx3:...as for money coming into the house, in a white/white relationship, it's normally pooled. Both working for same goals. There's no what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours :NoNo:......so really folks coming from years of being married to a British could well have a hard time adjusting :cwm25:

[Michael Parnham]

well correct me if i,m wrong but The parents drum it into their kids that they made sacrifices to bring them into the world and expect them to help them out when they start working.I guess its a culture thing lol as I have never helped my parents out as they never needed help .british kids are far too selfish to be helping parents its a me me me culture .I help my g,f ,s family out sometimes ,but I have pointed out that i,m not rich and us come first ,The question is who will help us if the crunch came ? er nobody .

When I left school and started work Brian, my parents took two thirds of my wages for board, also I had to do all errands cook meals and clean the house and polish everyones shoe's light the fire early in the morning, do the ironing and loads of other jobs, they said it was a way of me earning my keep!:balaicoule::ironing::hoovering::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

OOPS sorry Mark! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thanks Michael :biggrin::xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_sorry:
I thought you were sending me to Coventry as well :icon_lol:

[gWaPito]

Sounds as if you haven't cottoned on Moy :cwm23:
Someone is taking the urine :doh

[tiger31]

Naaa...Wont happen over here..Its a cultural thing!!
Anyway.. I dont believe I`ve ever seen or heard of an old people`s home over here?

you will soon as me and mark is gonna build one right next door to your plot hahahahaha

[tiger31]

When I left school and started work Brian, my parents took two thirds of my wages for board, also I had to do all errands cook meals and clean the house and polish everyones shoe's light the fire early in the morning, do the ironing and loads of other jobs, they said it was a way of me earning my keep!:balaicoule::ironing::hoovering::xxgrinning--00xx3:

ah the gool ol days :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Moy]

Sounds as if you haven't cottoned on Moy :cwm23:
Someone is taking the urine :doh

The creative impulses of man are always at war with the possessive impulses.
:crazy::furious3::action-smiley-081::cwm24::icon_lol:

[Moy]

I wonder how many here spent a decade or 2 being married to a white British.

You're correct Joe. .marriage is a partnership :xxgrinning--00xx3:...as for money coming into the house, in a white/white relationship, it's normally pooled. Both working for same goals. There's no what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours :NoNo:......so really folks coming from years of being married to a British could well have a hard time adjusting :cwm25:
You get very possessive about characters, you feel you can see it in your mind and you want to play it.
:cwm24::cwm3::action-smiley-081::NoNo::Help1:

[stevewool]

Its very hard for many men on here to understand the up bringing you have over in the phils, and it takes time to sink in too,

When my Ems started work and wanting to send so much back home to help the family i had to say stop, we come first so just hold back a little,

How wrong i was , we could afford to send money each week but it was not bread in me to do that,

My way was leaving home at 16 to find your fortune and dont come back too, and if you did well, well thats good,

But now i am married to Ems i do believe her way is the best way, give when you can and have that extra just in case for emergencies , what ever amount you send you hope it goes to the right people and for the right reasons too,

[gWaPito]

You get very possessive about characters, you feel you can see it in your mind and you want to play it.
:cwm24::cwm3::action-smiley-081::NoNo::Help1:

I've played it Moy. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Moy]

I've played it Moy. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I'm very emotional and possessive about all my mens :Rasp: :action-smiley-081::icon_lol::crazy::Cuckoo::biggrin:.:icon_lol::biggrin: :blahblah::Erm:

[gWaPito]

Sounds as if you haven't cottoned on Moy :cwm23:
Someone is taking the urine :doh

Sorry Moy. ..in all the excitement, I thought you posted what Michael said :doh

[Moy]

Sorry Moy. ..in all the excitement, I thought you posted what Michael said :doh

:laugher:

[London_Manila]

We have set a limit to what we send each month & will not go over that limit on in emergencies

That sounds like a great idea set a limit and then don't budge from it :smile:

[London_Manila]

I am lucky as my parents have their jobs and same with my siblings so i am not obliged to send money for them for this and that. I can send some for birthday pressies or emergencies but not as monthly or weekly allowance.

I remembered the seminar i had at CFO where the speaker told us to educate our family about money that money isn't grown on trees, and not to spoil our families with luxurious things cos they tend to rely and become parasites,that they don't strive hard or don't look for jobs cos they knew they are receiving monthly allowances . She even told us to save and invest. I totally agree with what she said and my husband kept telling me that uk is not paved with gold. Save and invest for you don't know what the future holds.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sounds to me like that CFO speaker needs to do a tour of the province and spread a bit of education

Leyte and Samar would be a good places to start
Bicol and Mindanao need it also.....................

[Moy]

Sounds to me like that CFO speaker needs to do a tour of the province and spread a bit of education

Leyte and Samar would be a good places to start
Bicol and Mindanao need it also.....................
hey you bear in mind that You can rule ignorance; you can manipulate the illiterate; you can do whatever you want when a people are uneducated, so that goes in line with corrupt business and corrupt politics.
therefore not in any place on earth would solve to any on that..:icon_lol:

[gWaPito]

Sounds to me like that CFO speaker needs to do a tour of the province and spread a bit of education

Leyte and Samar would be a good places to start
Bicol and Mindanao need it also.....................

Looks like we are singing from the same hymn sheet:icon_lol:

[Moy]

Looks like we are singing from the same hymn sheet:icon_lol:
:thumbsdown::cwm24::action-smiley-081:

[gWaPito]

:thumbsdown::cwm24::action-smiley-081:

And what's that meant to mean ? :Jump::anerikke::icon_lol:

[Moy]

And what's that meant to mean ? :Jump::anerikke::icon_lol:
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.:icon_lol::Rasp::laugher:

[joebloggs]

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.:icon_lol::Rasp::laugher:

only because you don't know it :laugher:

:xxparty-smiley-004:

[Moy]

only because you don't know it :laugher:

:xxparty-smiley-004:
Love is being stupid together.:icon_lol::action-smiley-081::laugher: