Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and
Erap?
A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference
Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and
Erap?
A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference
Keep moving on...
Theres a small book on sale in Pinas called "Joke ni Erap"
Erap: “I have brain cancer. Yehey!!!”
Ramos: “That’s delicate, how come you’re still happy?”
Erap: “Now I know I have a brain”
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Very true , lolOriginally Posted by lavander
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
well..its only a small book... Got a Encyclopedia of it...
...am just warming up to type hahaha....
Keep moving on...
GMA and her family riding an airplane..
GMA: what if i throw 1 check worth a million
pesos out of d window 2 mke at least 1 filipino
happy?
MIKE ARROYO: honey, why not throw 2 checks
worth half a million pesos 2 make 2 filipinos happy?
LULI ARROYO: mom, why not throw 4 checks worth
quarter of a million 2 make
4 filipinos happy?
finaly her grandaughter spoke:
grandma, why not simply throw yourself out da window
2 make all filipinos happy!..
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Erap While in a drug store.
Erap : I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Erap : It does not matter, cuz he can't read yet!!
Keep moving on...
LOL, why notGMA and her family riding an airplane..
GMA: what if i throw 1 check worth a million
pesos out of d window 2 mke at least 1 filipino
happy?
MIKE ARROYO: honey, why not throw 2 checks
worth half a million pesos 2 make 2 filipinos happy?
LULI ARROYO: mom, why not throw 4 checks worth
quarter of a million 2 make
4 filipinos happy?
finaly her grandaughter spoke:
grandma, why not simply throw yourself out da window
2 make all filipinos happy!..
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
During a State Dinner with the Wives in Washington DC.
Bill to Hillary : Please pass the sugar SWEETHEART;
Blair to wife : Please pass the honey HONEYBUNCH;
Erap to Loi : Please pass the Pork PORKYPIG ! !
Keep moving on...
While in a State Visit to Washington DC.
Bill Clinton : You know, we Americans hate you Filipinos going TNT in our country. Sorry if I'm frank.
Erap (Shocked) : It's okay, I thought you are Bill!!
Keep moving on...
i got a smart-roaming sim in one of my phones here,always getting strange jokes from Pinas,but I like this one..........
A man died & was asked by St. Peter: where are you from?
Man: Philippines po!
St. Peter: aha, from Gloria! you may enter heaven… You've suffered enough!
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Still on Erap during one of his Overseas Trip...
Steward: Sir r u done?
Erap: No, i'm Erap
Steward: i mean r u finished sir?
Erap: No, i'm a Filipino
Steward: i mean r u through?
Erap: Wat do u think of me FALSE?
Keep moving on...
How about if it's gloria? I wonder what would st. peter say?
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
fter an accident, GMA asked a man hu saved her wat reward he wants
Man: Wheelchair!
GMA: Y a wheelchair? U weren't hurt, r u?
Man: Wen my folks know I saved you, they'd break my legs
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
GMA and her family riding an airplane..
GMA: what if i throw 1 check worth a million
pesos out of d window 2 mke at least 1 filipino
happy?
MIKE ARROYO: honey, why not throw 2 checks
worth half a million pesos 2 make 2 filipinos happy?
LULI ARROYO: mom, why not throw 4 checks worth
quarter of a million 2 make
4 filipinos happy?
finaly her grandaughter spoke:
grandma, why not simply throw yourself out da window
2 make all filipinos happy!..
naughty grand daughter.i wonder whats the reaction of grand mother?
Erap calling emergency hotline:
Please send help asap! My daughter is giving birth and turning blue.....
Operator: Calm down sir! Is this her first baby?
Erap: ****! This is her father!
Keep moving on...
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
Erap: Doc, I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone!
Doctor: Is it choking?
Erap: No doc. It's Max's!
Doctor: I didn't mean chowking. I said, are you choking?
Erap: No doc, I'm serious!
Keep moving on...
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
lavander, have mercy, i can't stop laughing here already
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Erap was at a black tie party along with Reli German
who supplied him with a constant flow of Blue Label. All the gentlemen came in
black jackets, white shirts and black ties and the ladies in black gowns.
Erap thought it was a boring party so he kept drinking
his Blue Label to get him through the night. Then he saw a lady in a white gown.
"Reli, that's the lady I like," Erap said. "She is a non-conformist and a rebel.
I think I will ask her to dance." "Madam, would you care to dance with the
President of the Republic?" Erap asked.
The lady replied, "No, and I will give you 3 reasons
why. Reason No. 1, I don't know how to dance." "That's a legitimate reason,"
Erap remarked.
"Reason No. 2, you are drunk," the lady continued.
"That's your opinion," Erap said.
"Reason No. 3, I am Cardinal Sin."
Keep moving on...
Jaric: How is your Y2K conversion going?
Erap: It's crazy! I cant imagine going to work from Mondak to Fridak and spend saturdak and sundak with the kids. Why do they have to convert Y to K anyway?
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
exactly, that's why i'm laughing so hard here
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
Q: What happens when Erap gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!
Q: What do you get when you offer Erap a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: How did Erap try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does Erap kill a fish?
A: He drowns it.
Q: How do you amuse Erap for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
ERAP in Mcdo
ERAP : I'll have large fries, coke and a burger.
CASHIER : for dine in or for take out sir?
ERAP : no, for jinggoy.
Keep moving on...
President Erap looks up from his desk in Malacanang to see one of his
aides nervously approach him.
"What is it?" exclaims the President.
"Its this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do about it?" the
aide replies.
"Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
ERAP : am returning this VHS tape i bought.
CLERK : whats the problem sir?
ERAP : no picture,no sound, what a waste.. i think its a suspense movie.
CLERK : what's the title sir?
ERAP : Head Cleaner!!!
Keep moving on...
Jaric: How is your Y2K conversion going?
Erap: It's crazy! I cant imagine going to work from Mondak to Fridak and spend saturdak and sundak with the kids. Why do they have to convert Y to K anyway?
Oh gosh, i can't stop laughing here
what's with today.....the forum is bombarded with erap jokes, lol
"10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"
This is the truism
A newspaper did a survey:
100 women surveyed were asked, "Would you sleep with president Erap"?
81 replied, "Never Again".
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Dont worry Soph,its Gloria-day tommorrow
One day Erap is going to give a speech at an Elementary School. He asks
the teacher what the children are studying and she replies that they are
learning about Tragedies. So the President decides to talk about
Tragedies.
He asks a student, "What would you consider to be a tragedy?"
The kid thinks for awhile and then says, " If a boy is running after a ball into
a street and gets run over by a car and dies."
Erap responds, "No, I don't think that's a tragedy... that's an accident."
Then Erap asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy. The kid says,
"If a bus full of kids drives over a cliff and they all die."
This time Erap says, "I don't think that's a tragedy... I think that's a great
loss."
So again Erap asks another kid to give an example of a tragedy. The kid
responds, "If you're on a air plane and it crashes."
"Right!" says the president to the kid. "That would be a tragedy... how did
you ever know that?"
Quickly, the kid replies, " Because I know it's not an accident and I know it's
not a great loss."
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
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