Quote Originally Posted by maria_and_matt View Post
I have been married to my husband for 9 years now, i know that he loves me and my son so much. But lately I have been feeling so depressed about our life here in the UK. After having been here for 17 yrs now I feel like I am ready to go back home. Our 9 yrs has been so full of trials, we have been trying to have a baby but i keep on losing them. Last year my consultant told me I should have a hysterectomy to lessen the pain and to kill any chances of the cancer returning. I did have the op and now I am on menopause aged 38. I spoke to hubby about what I feel, and he told me that if I do decide to go back home he will visit me twice a year. part of me wants to go, but i do not want to leave hubby behind :(.... i am so depressed with winter coming up... what do you guys think i should do help...
You sound to be a reserved person.If you do not express your feelings, it causes problems. Continue as normal, people do not know if you are feeling sad.

I do not know, but I am just echo what you already said. I think all the pain and bad times you have been through have got to you. Trying for a baby for a long period of time without success must be painful. The fact that you use the word "guilty" means you think it is your fault. Maybe you think it is your fault because your body does not work. There are still many opinions, doctors will discuss things with you. Maria, many couples have different problems. You and your husband need to talk together about this. There is should be a support group you can join and discuss difficult issues.

Perhaps you have not had time to grieve for all the problems. You just got on with life again, like a robot doing the housework without thinking. Sorry by saying robot, but you get what I mean, continue as normal.

Your husband is wrong to let you go home. I do not think visiting you twice a year is love. Almost like he wants you out of the way. I think that is a mans way of dealing with pain, to ignore problem. If he is isolating himself on laptop always and not talking, the lack of communication in the house will not solve the pain.

You know inside your heart you must not keep your feelings bottled up.That is why you are acting this way now