sending a income

[keithAngel]

well done gwapito!!!....never got offended personally as i know what my status is in life weather have or have not a foreigner husband but i feel sad and offended for the other filipina as this thread really is offensive in my point of view. you guys don't know how they prepare as well as their family to give you a nice welcome everytime you guys come round...even spent their last money just to have something to serve you on the table...and u guys moaning only for a bottle of red horse.. filipnos not only who married foreigner man always support their family especially their parents weather they need to give them or not..just b'coz it makes them happy sharing what they got. thats the way we brought up. i dont personally need to send money back to philippines but sending my mom money makes me feel happy as well as sending little things to my brothers. im millions miles away and i feel thats the only way i can show to them i love them and my thoughts are always with them....if some of here feels they are being taken advantage of sending money then dont send at all and for some filipina who wants to marry a foreigner and vice versa make this an eye opener...always remember that it is better to have a dignity than having money..or should i say a visa...

I think there are some misunderstandings here

Members here are at many diferent stages of relationships with Filipinas from wanting a relationship.to having just met someone on line .a recent visit.a girlfriend ....long term LDR..to recently married and so on.

Even amongst Filipinas wide diferences exist GParry although your post is thanking Gwapito his clearly says his wife saves HER money and neither send any back thats 100% diferent to your position and sugestion of norms.

Perhaps what should be said is its no bad thing to find out quickly about the Philipines local expenditure and make it clear what you position is in the relationship from early on .

Its not for example normal here to meet a lady become boyfriend / girl friend and start to support her or him from the start it might become so at some point the cautionary information here in this thread is because of personal experiences as well as accounts from ex-pats and guys who have been this route perhaps more than once

Im sure Filipinas here would believe a significant part of the online dating services are attracting less than moral folk of all genders that is in no way to sugest any one here is part of these groups but not to give due warning is less than kind.

If you know what you want to do and have 100% trust in your partner then you wouldnt be in need of any advice from here but if your just starting out a good understanding of how things are in the Fils can be invaluable

Good communication from the start is the key but misunderstandings occur easily both in language and culture and there are vastly diferent ranges of disposable income available as the membership here has demonstrated.

The fatted calf version you mention is not the only one available and many guys I know have had the experience of being treated with less than respect at least by our own cultural standards and were seen by the families as walking a,t,m,s having for example invited immediate family out for a meal and having 30 people turn up.

The other thing to consider if your lady doesnt come from a relatively well of family is how much pressure she may be put under to fund the family and how embarresed she may be

These dificult bits though can help to bring you together more quickley if handled from understanding rather than being in the dark

[gWaPito]

I think there are some misunderstandings here

Members here are at many diferent stages of relationships with Filipinas from wanting a relationship.to having just met someone on line .a recent visit.a girlfriend ....long term LDR..to recently married and so on.

Even amongst Filipinas wide diferences exist GParry although your post is thanking Gwapito his clearly says his wife saves HER money and neither send any back thats 100% diferent to your position and sugestion of norms.

Perhaps what should be said is its no bad thing to find out quickly about the Philipines local expenditure and make it clear what you position is in the relationship from early on .

Its not for example normal here to meet a lady become boyfriend / girl friend and start to support her or him from the start it might become so at some point the cautionary information here in this thread is because of personal experiences as well as accounts from ex-pats and guys who have been this route perhaps more than once

Im sure Filipinas here would believe a significant part of the online dating services are attracting less than moral folk of all genders that is in no way to sugest any one here is part of these groups but not to give due warning is less than kind.

If you know what you want to do and have 100% trust in your partner then you wouldnt be in need of any advice from here but if your just starting out a good understanding of how things are in the Fils can be invaluable

Good communication from the start is the key but misunderstandings occur easily both in language and culture and there are vastly diferent ranges of disposable income available as the membership here has demonstrated.

The fatted calf version you mention is not the only one available and many guys I know have had the experience of being treated with less than respect at least by our own cultural standards and were seen by the families as walking a,t,m,s having for example invited immediate family out for a meal and having 30 people turn up.

The other thing to consider if your lady doesnt come from a relatively well of family is how much pressure she may be put under to fund the family and how embarresed she may be

These dificult bits though can help to bring you together more quickley if handled from understanding rather than being in the dark

Good post, Kieth
I think the point what gparry is making, is trust, or to be honest, the lack of trust.
You mention about doing a expenditure list
That is so demeaning, Kieth. I can't imagine saying that to my wife and I can imagine even thinking that
I have trusted my wife totally from the start. You can't go into a relationship thinking you will be riped off
It will never work, Kieth, sleeping with one eye open, checking your change etc etc.

The magic word is trust

Yes, Jane does save all her money and we don't send anything back. If Jane wanted to, she could, in fact Jane could do whatever she liked, I never question her, NEVER.

Do we know what the 'norm' is ?
I would love to see any stats on this.

[Steve.r]

You mention about doing a expenditure list
That is so demeaning, Kieth. I can't imagine saying that to my wife and I can imagine even thinking that
.

I don't think that is quite right, and why wouldn't you want to know what you were funding??
My Mahal may be going back to Phils if she does not get a continuation visa in Singapore, she is worried about that, so I said that I can help support her. So the very first thing you need t oknow is 'exactly' what the monthly expenditure is. Water, electric, gas, internet, food etc etc. Make a list, make sure you are happy to help cover the simple living costs. Of course you want to treat your lady as a princess, treat her to the nicer things in life, and if you can afford it, do it. But what I mean to say is that you have to budget, and not be an open wallet. I suppose it is a case of mutual respect.

[keithAngel]

I dont remember posting about making an expenditure list but as steve says you could call it a budjet

What I do know is the cost of living and dying its been hard earned and Im happy to share my experiences

Like Fred I also dont give a dam what any of you send but if all the guys here send me a tenner I will relocate in a moment and be ever so grateful

[gWaPito]

I don't think that is quite right, and why wouldn't you want to know what you were funding??
My Mahal may be going back to Phils if she does not get a continuation visa in Singapore, she is worried about that, so I said that I can help support her. So the very first thing you need t oknow is 'exactly' what the monthly expenditure is. Water, electric, gas, internet, food etc etc. Make a list, make sure you are happy to help cover the simple living costs. Of course you want to treat your lady as a princess, treat her to the nicer things in life, and if you can afford it, do it. But what I mean to say is that you have to budget, and not be an open wallet. I suppose it is a case of mutual respect.

You miss my point, Steve. My wife or then g/f is perfectly capable to work this out all on her lonesome, without not me breathing over her shoulder, tutting and shaking my head

The lady shoud be encouraged to take the lead in all this. Of course you have to tell her what funds are available then she should cut her cloth accordingly. Not for one moment did I think it would be spent on jollies for her family and friends, I trusted her, Steve.
As for open wallets, this is how it is with us. We both know what we have and we both know what we can and can not afford, yes, I agree, is a case of mutual respect and that thing called trust.

[Notavirusalso]

You mention about doing a expenditure list
That is so demeaning, Kieth. I can't imagine saying that to my wife and I can imagine even thinking that
I have trusted my wife totally from the start. You can't go into a relationship thinking you will be riped off
It will never work, Kieth, sleeping with one eye open, checking your change etc etc.

The magic word is trust I never question her, NEVER.

Ditto Sir