Hi guys just want to throw this question open to the forum...
Do you send a regular amount back home to your families in the Phils and what is an acceptable amount without upsetting the other halfI know this is a very vague and open question but thoughts from the guys and gals would be very much appreciated
My husband used to send me half of his wages and the other half goes to his expenses and savings for my visa.Originally Posted by marksroomspain
Hi guys just want to throw this question open to the forum...
Do you send a regular amount back home to your families in the Phils and what is an acceptable amount without upsetting the other half
Now we are both together and earning we only send money when my family from ph asked and needed .
''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''
We send money to my family tru PNB, worth 160 pound every month, if ever there is an emergency we will give more than that.
i used to send them 250 every month but now that I'm married, i just send them 100..
Wow! this subject is very tricky, first of all why send any money at all? surely the sensible thing to do is send a box a couple of times a year and then if in a genuine emergency send a little money towards hospital treatment or whatever the requirement is needed for. In my past experience many filipinas have sent money to families and after a few years have found out that the hard earned money has been wasted by there family members spending the money to have parties and show off by treating friends and neighbors to food cigarettes and beer then when an emergency arises they have no money and are asking for more. Surely it would be better to think very carefully before sending money every month. Sorry if I've upset anyone, its just my opinion. Also I understand that if a foreigner wont spend money on filipino families and friends they think you are bad, just remember things can be done in a sensible manner and in moderation, you should not buy friendship, because if people need to see money before being your friend they are not worth knowing! I'm sure there are a lot of genuine filipino's out there, in fact I know there are and they are the real deserving family and friends
We send almost £350 per month to the Philippines. That covers my daughters school tuition and expenses, her monthly needs like milk (promil) and other necessities, internet connection bill and wage for my sister who is looking after my daughter.
Just be sensible on sending money, if its needed badly (emergency) then I think there is no wrong on helping out. Also, you two needs to be open to eachother specially on money matter as is it ONE of the most reasons why arguments in the household starts.
The money you send to philippines Novie is almost half my total monthly income and I have to pay £400 per month rent plus all utility bills and car finance internet etc: and we manage very well because we budget very carefully!! With respect, don't you think you are being a little over the top!
When I was in the Philippines, I used to give half of my salary to my parents (for phone bills, internet, and other things that they can use it for). A few months after I came here, Keith and I used to send them at least £100 monthly..but then money became so tight for both of us here (after the wedding, visa fees, etc.) so had to stop sending..but once I get my visa and have a work, I would send money again about the same amount, not because they ask for it, but because we want to lessen their burden in any way..My siblings all have work and earning enough (and they give what they can to my parents). But my parents have mortgages there too. As their daughter, it's the only thing I can do to be grateful for all the things they did for me and my siblings.
-=rayna.keith=-
...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...
Guess I am fortunate, in that we've never needed to send money to any of MY wife's immediate relatives... since they all happen to be self-supporting.
... good job, really as, like Michael, I'm a State pensioner!
I don't think it is over the top especially as her daughter is in the Philippines. I would say it is a reasonable amount to cover the expenses that she mentioned. Im sure she wants the best for her daughter and would send even more if she could. I would if i was in a similar situation.
Personally
I think if someone has a responsibility left in the Philippines, like Novie who has a daughter left with her family, she has the obligation to send money and everything that her child might need. It's not over the top if you want something better for your kid I think.
Now, most families with a mom/dad or son/daughter that are working overseas (so their families back home would live better) need to know that the OFWs are not cash cows and not living their lives to the fullest..they're working to earn. The same with someone married to foreigners. Their families should know that just because they are living overseas, they don't automatically become rich.
For someone married to a British guy, I'm lucky enough to have a family back home that don't think of me or my husband as rich people. They actually think I got more money when I was in Manila!My mom and dad always thank me and Keith if we can send something, but they don't mind either if we don't as they know we have bills to pay too.
Anyway, the point is, if from the start, it's been clear to everyone about the situation, especially money wise, I think that would make everything better. If you can send money (even if they're not asking) that's good. If you can't, family back home should understand. Also, they should know not to waste any money that you send. If family back home can't be appreciative of whatever you give them and all they do is ask for something, that would be a problem.
...When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...
You've hit the nail on the head Rayna!!
Thanks guys for that input really appreciate it, at the moment with my wife about to give birth and obviously not working we are sort of managing ok even able to send £150 a month back to her parents to help out I am just glad I have no mortgage to pay with the house been paid off thats a blessing itself...
We have had this Question many times,from many freinds here,send only what you can afford,does charity begin at home or no,and yes we are compassionate too Family in emergencies,
yes spend what you can comfortably afford, the problem is when your taken for granted
like I've send many times on here, its easy to spend someone else s hard earned wages
We never sent them anything... We did try to give them an opportunity to make their own money by providing capital for small businesses etc but that didnt work and it was more trouble than it was worth..
After that we continued to send absolutely nothing.
Now that we live here a selection of family members are working for us and we give them money for doing that..
How kind am I !!
Since my wife has been here (nearly 3 years now), we've been sending back about £150 a month which was basically the wage she earned when she was living in the Philippines helping support her family.
We currently rent and hope to buy a house in a year. I've already said to my wife that we will have to reduce what we send her family and they will need to prepare for that. As much as I love her family and want to help out, I will not sacrifice buying the house I want because of what we send back. If we have to make savings/cuts to be able to buy a house, unfortunately that will be one of the things that will be cut. I feel a bit harsh saying that, but as has been said, things aren't easy here either!
Once my wife is here we have agreed to send her family the equivalent of what she could expect to contribute monthly if she was working in Bohol, around £100. My fault as the nasty foreigner who stole their daughter from their pension fund
has their pension fund just doubled to you and your wifeMy fault as the nasty foreigner who stole their daughter from their pension fund
I have just read back the thread so Ill explain my side.
First and foremost I have a 5 year old daughter that I left in the Philippines which was looked after by my sister. My parents are old enough to do baby sitting for me but support are always there. Now, we are not paying any rent like you mike and like what other said here, we have different circumstances in life. My sister resigned from her job in a restaurant as a supervisor just to look after my daughter and its just fair that I pay her back a little bit. Much more expensive to get nanny. It doesnt mean that I married a brit, the brit pays everything. I aint that type. As much as I can I save couple of quid (in laws little treat) and give my savings to support my daughter's needs back in Davao.
It isnt over the top, it is just I am a mother who wants best for my child.
In answer to the question, no, I don't send money to my wife on a regular basis. She is working and for the best part, can get by although, I have helped out a couple of times.
I made it quite clear for the outset that I would not be a walking ATM for her family or friends. Filipinos have trouble saying no but I have never suffered from this affliction! It is easier that everyone is aware of the situation from day 1.
I learned this lesson the hard way while living in Thailand and vowed never to get caught again.
I send money £75.00 every month to my niece for her food and internet bill . Myrna
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