Do all filipina's brought to uk act like this??

[raynaputi]

In these sorts of topics you'll always encounter partisan motivated reasoning.

It's a pity really.
I can still recall a time when most forum members would focus on the aspect of help and support.

Some folks would much rather support opinions that they would otherwise oppose in the absence of a personal experience influenced by personal judgement.

I say that every successful relationship requires teamworking, shared understanding and compromise. It's for all couples to have honest discussion where divergence exits and come to agreement.
Many years ago I doubt whether such important discussions took place prior to marriage.
These days it's got to be a priority......especially for those who are second time around.

I think the OP and his wife need to sit together and discuss financials. There really are two sides to each issue between couples.
I strongly object to advice that wife get immediately dumped. How about the welfare of the child.
How about the family unit.

Lets be more constructive than that.

Most folks take their first steps in a search for love when quite young. Hoping to stay together.
Doesn't always happen.
If two people are lucky enough to find romance, true friends and soul-mates, I suggest it usually doesn't matter at which point in life they do so or from which background and culture they come from.

I'd rather suggest it depends on whether you hold the Egalitarianism's view or the Traditionalists view.

My view exactly!

I hate it when people jump into so much conclusions based on one or two posts, especially if they don't actually know the couple personally, and then compare it to their personal experiences when all of them have different personalities, circumstances, etc. Not every person and circumstances are the same.

Most Filipinas here in the forum want to help the family back home, but it doesn't necessarily mean we are all alike and gold diggers because we happen to be married to a westerner. We have different ways of dealing things when it comes to money. Also, it's an insult to all couples here saying that just because the women are much younger than the men, that we only see money from our respective partners. Age is of no importance when you find someone you actually love. If you are concern of the age, then don't seek a younger Filipina and stick to that criteria. Yes, there are bad apples that we all know, but comparing it to the ones here who found their true love, I think you'll see plenty are successful.

[sentinent]

My view exactly!

Age is of no importance when you find someone you actually love.

So you would marry an old western man with no assets? Come on, let's have a reality check here.

[raynaputi]

So you would marry an old western man with no assets? Come on, let's have a reality check here.

My husband is 15 years older than me and has no assets, i.e. house (renting from housing association), savings (money is enough for all our needs and need to work extra so we can go on holidays), and car (he has Motability from RAF). He has his own company to run his websites though and gets War pension and DLA. If he dies, the only thing I can get from him is the pension. His online business, I don't know how to run it and he says he will sell it when he can't do it anymore.

Do I mind that? No. Does that worry me? No. I even told him I don't care about his pension because I can choose to go back in the Philippines where I have my own house and a bit of savings from working in the past. I also have my SSS pension which I'm still paying. My sister has a business which she has always been willing for us relatives to get involved in (she even asked my aunts who are OFWs to go home and just work with her). My siblings actually always tell me that I have more money when I was in the Philippines.

You see, marriage and relationships doesn't have to be having plenty of money and assets. Finding someone you love is not always having the other person have money more than you need. As long as I'm not starving (fridge and cupboard is overflowing actually) and have a roof on top of me, plus a little bit of luxury sometimes (dining out, holiday, gadgets, heating in the house is 20C above the whole year, etc.), then who says being married to my older husband is doomed without him having the assets that the others here have? I met my husband and fell in love with him not because he may have money to give me and my family. As long as he is a good provider for the both of us then good. It's only a matter of being content on what you have and understanding all your and your partner's limits .

[marksroomspain]

My husband is 15 years older than me and has no assets, i.e. house (renting from housing association), savings (money is enough for all our needs and need to work extra so we can go on holidays), and car (he has Motability from RAF). He has his own company to run his websites though and gets War pension and DLA. If he dies, the only thing I can get from him is the pension. His online business, I don't know how to run it and he says he will sell it when he can't do it anymore.

Do I mind that? No. Does that worry me? No. I even told him I don't care about his pension because I can choose to go back in the Philippines where I have my own house and a bit of savings from working in the past. I also have my SSS pension which I'm still paying. My sister has a business which she has always been willing for us relatives to get involved in (she even asked my aunts who are OFWs to go home and just work with her). My siblings actually always tell me that I have more money when I was in the Philippines.

You see, marriage and relationships doesn't have to be having plenty of money and assets. Finding someone you love is not always having the other person have money more than you need. As long as I'm not starving (fridge and cupboard is overflowing actually) and have a roof on top of me, plus a little bit of luxury sometimes (dining out, holiday, gadgets, heating in the house is 20C above the whole year, etc.), then who says being married to my older husband is doomed without him having the assets that the others here have? I met my husband and fell in love with him not because he may have money to give me and my family. As long as he is a good provider for the both of us then good. It's only a matter of being content on what you have and understanding all your and your partner's limits .

Rayna's an example to a true Filipina, Keith is certainly one lucky guy...

[raynaputi]

Rayna's an example to a true Filipina, Keith is certainly one lucky guy...

Thanks Mark. I've just learned from my parents and my grandparents. Trust me, we don't have riches back home, but I've seen how they are when it comes to their marriages. Money is a problem most of the time, but it didn't become a reason for them to fall apart, they are still very sweet to each other up to now. My dad has always been a provider, but when he lost his job at the age of 40+ or so, my mum took the lead. They both managed to give all of us a very good education and a nice life despite all the money problems.

[marksroomspain]

Thanks Mark. I've just learned from my parents and my grandparents. Trust me, we don't have riches back home, but I've seen how they are when it comes to their marriages. Money is a problem most of the time, but it didn't become a reason for them to fell apart, they are still very sweet to each other up to now. My dad has always been a provider, but when he lost his job at the age of 40+ or so, my mum took the lead. They both managed to give all of us a very good education and a nice life despite all the money problems.

Tell you something Rayna that is almost a mirror reflection of my wife Jamie's previous situation.

You have hit the nail on the head, I have a sweet loving family orientated girl who sticks by me tooth and nail no matter what.

I suppose I am a lucky guy like Keith also

[Moy]

My husband is 15 years older than me and has no assets, i.e. house (renting from housing association), savings (money is enough for all our needs and need to work extra so we can go on holidays), and car (he has Motability from RAF). He has his own company to run his websites though and gets War pension and DLA. If he dies, the only thing I can get from him is the pension. His online business, I don't know how to run it and he says he will sell it when he can't do it anymore.

Do I mind that? No. Does that worry me? No. I even told him I don't care about his pension because I can choose to go back in the Philippines where I have my own house and a bit of savings from working in the past. I also have my SSS pension which I'm still paying. My sister has a business which she has always been willing for us relatives to get involved in (she even asked my aunts who are OFWs to go home and just work with her). My siblings actually always tell me that I have more money when I was in the Philippines.

You see, marriage and relationships doesn't have to be having plenty of money and assets. Finding someone you love is not always having the other person have money more than you need. As long as I'm not starving (fridge and cupboard is overflowing actually) and have a roof on top of me, plus a little bit of luxury sometimes (dining out, holiday, gadgets, heating in the house is 20C above the whole year, etc.), then who says being married to my older husband is doomed without him having the assets that the others here have? I met my husband and fell in love with him not because he may have money to give me and my family. As long as he is a good provider for the both of us then good. It's only a matter of being content on what you have and understanding all your and your partner's limits .

If you're not content with what you have, you won't be content with what you want.

[raynaputi]

If you're not content with what you have, you won't be content with what you want.

[malditako]

If you're not content with what you have, you won't be content with what you want.

Contentment is the measurement of one's standard and people do have different levels of standard in life

[Moy]

contentment is the measurement of ones standard and people do have different levels of standards in life

You cannot be good enough for everybody but u will be always be the best for the one who deserves you.

[gWaPito]

You cannot be good enough for everybody but u will be always be the best for the one who deserves you.

What's that book of quotes called Moy ? xx

[grahamw48]

contentment is the measurement of ones standard and people do have different levels of standards in life

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers

.

(Now try saying it quickly Moy...without using an 'f' word ).

[Michael Parnham]

So you would marry an old western man with no assets? Come on, let's have a reality check here.

Well, I've no assets and my wife and I are very happy together; also the age gap is 43 years!

[malditako]

So you would marry an old western man with no assets? Come on, let's have a reality check here.

young or old, westerner or not...it is always better to marry a man with financial stability.

[gWaPito]

young or old, westerner or not...it is always better to marry a man with financial stability.

Always better to marry a woman with financial stability. Someone who's your equal

[malditako]

Always better to marry a woman with financial stability. Someone who's your equal

thats will not work for me...I always settle for one step higher than mine that's my standard

[gWaPito]

thats will not work for me...i always settle with one step higher than mine thats my standard

Snap. ...me too

[Jentobeharrison]

Always better to marry a woman with financial stability. Someone who's your equal

I totally agree! lol

[gWaPito]

I totally agree! lol

Does that mean we're friends again ? I do hope so ...They are fast becoming a dwindling commodity at this present time. .I'm not sure why that is

[Jentobeharrison]

Does that mean we're friends again ? I do hope so ...They are fast becoming a dwindling commodity at this present time. .I'm not sure why that is

I have never been mad at you personally I guess? Hahaha. We are both sharing our own opinions and it doesnt mean we are attacking each other personally. Hahaha That's how intelligent people do. HAHHAA