Says it all and if you been misled by someone you need to trust implictly....Originally Posted by Banana
Says it all and if you been misled by someone you need to trust implictly....
I agree with both Banana and AndyPaul, I think your gf's uncle either lied to your gf or convinced her that you would just write off this money and send more and neither your gf (if she knew about it) or her uncle thought that this would turn into the sort of issue of trust that it has with you.
I firmly beleive that their perception of our wealth is behind the whole thing and I know that doesen't help you much because you really need to know if you gf is being honest with you.
From what I do know and the impession I get of all Filipina's is one of unquestioning deference to all of their elders and betters and although your gf may be complicit in this attempt to rip you off, I'm sure that the real culprit is her uncle and I think she may have suffererd strong family pressure to go along with it all.
I think that if you still have trust in this girl and wish to continue with this relationship, you have to make sure that if you send more money, that i goes directly to her, is collected by her and after what has gone on with this debacle, you should get her to open a bank account and make sure that she tells her family nothing about what is in her acount, what money you have sent, or have promised to send, or for what purpose.
The marriage and visa process is a very expensive one and you need to know that the money you sent is being spent on what you intended it to be spent on when you sent it!!!
Iain.
I agree with both Banana and AndyPaul, I think your gf's uncle either lied to your gf or convinced her that you would just write off this money and send more and neither your gf (if she knew about it) or her uncle thought that this would turn into the sort of issue of trust that it has with you.
I firmly beleive that their perception of our wealth is behind the whole thing and I know that doesen't help you much because you really need to know if you gf is being honest with you.
From what I do know and the impession I get of all Filipina's is one of unquestioning deference to all of their elders and betters and although your gf may be complicit in this attempt to rip you off, I'm sure that the real culprit is her uncle and I think she may have suffererd strong family pressure to go along with it all.
I think that if you still have trust in this girl and wish to continue with this relationship, you have to make sure that if you send more money, that i goes directly to her, is collected by her and after what has gone on with this debacle, you should get her to open a bank account and make sure that she tells her family nothing about what is in her acount, what money you have sent, or have promised to send, or for what purpose.
Iain.
Hello, sorry for the long delay with an update. The "3" network was hitting me for extra costs online above the 3GB limit.
I will draw a close to this thread if I may, but with thanks to all who commented.
Well, my girlfriend finally told me it was the uncle that caused the problem.
She was very upset to have to tell me but I had to find out.
That is enough for me now. She will get her ID soon (she has been over to the mainland 4 times now and keeps on trying to get it without luck) and I will transfer directly to her in the future so I know who I am dealing with.
There are so many other things that make me trust her and it would take too long to list all those, suffice it to say that I trust her.
We are making plans to marry and we talk most days on the phone.
Onwards and upwards,
aposhark
Glad things have worked out for you and you are able to reach the info you needed all the best
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