Grabbing Mother in-law

[jencha8569]

I don't think this is going to help at all, judging by the first example given.

Ideally, the parents should be confronted and told that their behaviour is unacceptable and make realize that there is no "money fairy" in the west.

well usually filipinos doesnt like confrontation but if for good (which needed on this situation) then he should do that or best the wife.
giving them what they need to make a living is an option, they can say that
its the only thing they can give and should stand on it no more no less.
as what u said (make them realize there is "no money fairy" in the west)
if the mother or fam doesnt accept it then its their loss in time sooner or later they will need their help. *trust me
filipina and foreigner relationships not easy on both sides even complicated at times. wife in between fam and husband or husband in between his capacities and wifes fam or wife or both.
matter of compromise what mutually agreed upon but with considerations not spoiling.
anyways, i not married yet rom
just an opinion
i do hope all will be good darren and happiness for u and ur wife always

[aromulus]

well usually filipinos doesnt like confrontation but if for good (which needed on this situation) then he should do that or best the wife.
giving them what they need to make a living is an option, they can say that
its the only thing they can give and should stand on it no more no less.
as what u said (make them realize there is "no money fairy" in the west)
if the mother or fam doesnt accept it then its their loss in time sooner or later they will need their help. *trust me
filipina and foreigner relationships not easy on both sides even complicated at times. wife in between fam and husband or husband in between his capacities and wifes fam or wife or both.
matter of compromise what mutually agreed upon but with considerations not spoiling.
anyways, i not married yet rom
just an opinion
i do hope all will be good darren and happiness for u and ur wife always

The family was not dependant on "rich foreigner" money before the wedding....
Why should be now...???

In the long run, giving an allowance, would create a culture of dependency, like a drug...

It is much easier to say "Walay Kwarta" from the beginning....
It would save them from going cold turkey when things go pearshaped....

[jencha8569]

The family was not dependant on "rich foreigner" money before the wedding....
Why should be now...???

In the long run, giving an allowance, would create a culture of dependency, like a drug...

It is much easier to say "Walay Kwarta" from the beginning....
It would save them from going cold turkey when things go pearshaped....

i guess darrens mistake was he fed them in the beginning without telling or explaining wifes fam his side so the fam now wanting more easy catch fish.

keep posting rom u more experienced in this than me

best way for now darren love and make ur wife happy.

[IainBusby]

The family was not dependant on "rich foreigner" money before the wedding....
Why should be now...???

You got it dead on Dom. My wife's family was not dependant on "rich foreigner" money before the wedding, but they were dependant on my wife's monthly salary, so thats exactly what we send them every month, plus the odd lump sum now and then for something extra.

If you take into account that my wife and our daughter no longer have to be provided for from this amount, they are actually better off than they were before. They always say thanks for the money and they never complain about it, although because of the general perception of how rich we are in the UK, I'm sure they probably expected that we would be sending much more.

This perception of our wealth is very bad thing all round because the wife's family are often pressured to ask us for favours from the extended family, which they feel uncomfortable about doing.

Iain.