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Thread: Help i need advice! really confuse and very worried

  1. #1
    Respected Member sunshine's Avatar
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    Arrow Help i need advice! really confuse and very worried

    Hello to all i am a newbie here i hope anyone can advice or enlighten me im really confuse on what to do with my situation.

    I have a brit fiance and were together for more than two years now and hes been visiting me many times, we are so much inlove and happy with each other. Now my probelm is this, i have a past which i did not told him, because its one part of my life where i want to forget it and move on and have a fresh start. Its all about i applied a fincee visa before but to a different country not uk, it was denied because there was a foul on the part of the guy and not totally my fault. And now i am very worried because my fiance decided that we will apply for a fiancee visa this year in fact he wants us to sort out the papers as soon as we can so we can be together forever which we both really want to happen.

    Here are my questions:
    1. i have no plans of not telling the truth to the british embassy i will tell them the truth, but will it affect my application? because of my history?

    2. do u think we have a big chance of getting a visa? no problem with the papers and proofs because we have it all.

    3. if i dont tell the british embassy that i applied a visa to another country and was denied, will they find out?

    4. and lastly, if i will tell the british embassy all the truth and my fiance did not know about it, will the embassy contact my fiance and disscus with him about it?

    oh god i have so much questions i hope u can bear with me, i need your advice and opinions. i am really scared of telling my fiance about my past application because i know him too well now, he will really get mad at me i cannot bear it, it scares me that he will change towards me if i tell him. some say that your past is not a big deal to westerners i hope this is true pls dont ask me why i didnt told him from the start coz i still blame myslef for it everyone has a right to have a fresh start.


  2. #2
    Respected Member ginapeterb's Avatar
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    Hello Sunshine,

    I think firstly, you have a duty and responsibility to be truthful firstly with your fiance to be, it will be worse if you don't come clean, and then your fiance, finds out, that you have indeed not been truthful.

    No matter how you may feel embarassed about your past application and your relationship with another foreigner, your policy of withholding information from the man you are supposed to be in love with, is in itself highly reprehensible.

    If you love this guy you will tell him the truth, and if he loves you, he may be mad at first, but only at first, and may even say, ok you told the truth, lets start afresh and move on.

    My advice is to come clean and tell your British man the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or you run the risk of having a very bad foundation for your relationship.

    My second point of advice to you, is under no circumstances should you seek to withhold information from our Government, nor should you seek to feel you should be untruthful when answering questions on a British Government application form, you will be asked that question, if you have ever applied for a visa for another country, you should state plainly, that you have, and you should also state that the application was denied.

    With Entry Clearance Officers honesty is your best policy, at least then, you have told the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and you never know, your previous application may be ignored, but if you fail to provide the correct information or tell lies in your application.

    Any person caught doing so, will be immediately banned from applying for UK Entry Clearance in any capacity, whether it be tourist, fiancee, or spouse, for a period of 10 years.

    Do you really want to run the risk of that ?

    Think carefully before you act, whilst writing on this thread, I really do sometimes feel annoyed at ones like you, who seek to circumvent our Countries immigration policies, and procedures by trying to canvass for support on this web site, and hope that someone will give you a speck of hope that the action you want to take is ok, and somehow a legitimate way of conducting yourself.

    When it comes to your authorities, we as foreigners cannot seek to mislead the Philippine Bureau of Immigration, and are dealt with harshly if we choose to ignore your Governments policy regarding overstaying, or other matters.

    I would caution you to act wisely, the fact that you seek to defraud your fiance out of the truth, that previously, you have been the subject of a visa application to go to another country, leaves me to form the opinion, that you are most probably a serial applicant, hoping that one application or another goes through and you end up in foreigner land !

    Tell the truth young lady, and you might just make it.....


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    Hi,

    I am not here to make a judgement on you as a person. However, you are not being fair on your bf by not telling him the full truth. Always treat others as you would expect to be treated yourself.

    I can understand your plight, maybe you started by not explaining it to him, meaning to tell him at a later date. But, as time wore on, it became tougher. The fact is, this guy is crazy about you, he will be more hurt about the lack of truth than your past. That is my opinion.

    So, my main advice would be to tell your bf the truth, and soon. Be fair to him, put yourself in his position too. By telling him the truth, a lot of your questions become irrelevant. Because, no need to be worried that he will find out. Why do you think that he has no right to know? Westerners are more liberal, I doubt it will even be an issue in reality. Unless you are 18, then the chances are you have some "past" anyhow.

    Going to your questions, you really have to tell the truth in every question asked. It just so happens that, on every UKBA Visa form, you are asked if you have ever been refused a visa to another country. You are later asked to sign that everything is correct to your knowledge. It's the equivalent of swearing an oath in many ways.

    Again, I will say that your bf deserves to know everything about you. If you are hiding this, what other things are you hiding? I am not being critical for the sake of being critical. But, that is what your bf will wonder.

    Everyone has a right to a fresh start. I agree fully. However, everyone has a right to know about their partners past. Particularly past marriages, engagements. If your bf cannot handle the fact you were engaged before, then is he the right guy? But, conversely, if you are not up front and honest, are you the right girl?

    Time for honesty. And the first person to be honest to is the one you want to spend your life with.

    Please consider, if you are serious about this guy, and he is serious about you, past marriages/engagements do not matter. They do matter, however, if they are hidden away.


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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine View Post
    Hello to all i am a newbie here i hope anyone can advice or enlighten me im really confuse on what to do with my situation.

    I have a brit fiance and were together for more than two years now and hes been visiting me many times, we are so much inlove and happy with each other. Now my probelm is this, i have a past which i did not told him, because its one part of my life where i want to forget it and move on and have a fresh start. Its all about i applied a fincee visa before but to a different country not uk, it was denied because there was a foul on the part of the guy and not totally my fault. And now i am very worried because my fiance decided that we will apply for a fiancee visa this year in fact he wants us to sort out the papers as soon as we can so we can be together forever which we both really want to happen.

    Here are my questions:
    1. i have no plans of not telling the truth to the british embassy i will tell them the truth, but will it affect my application? because of my history?

    2. do u think we have a big chance of getting a visa? no problem with the papers and proofs because we have it all.

    3. if i dont tell the british embassy that i applied a visa to another country and was denied, will they find out?

    4. and lastly, if i will tell the british embassy all the truth and my fiance did not know about it, will the embassy contact my fiance and disscus with him about it?

    oh god i have so much questions i hope u can bear with me, i need your advice and opinions. i am really scared of telling my fiance about my past application because i know him too well now, he will really get mad at me i cannot bear it, it scares me that he will change towards me if i tell him. some say that your past is not a big deal to westerners i hope this is true pls dont ask me why i didnt told him from the start coz i still blame myslef for it everyone has a right to have a fresh start.
    They will find out because there's stamp in your passport once you denied. Try to look again at your passport page by page.

    Yes it's not big deal to westeners if you tell them earlier. I assure you, he will understand your situation. It's not yet too late to tell him, go ahead don't be shy. It will help to release all your worries and doubts


  6. #6
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    the longer you leave it the harder it gets, TELL HIM.
    When you tell him im sure he will be ok, you should also tell him that you contacted this forum to show him how worried you are. He might even decide to disclose his knowledge about your previous refusal in the supporting letter rather than the ECO questioning you both about it, the past is the past but important info like this should not be kept secret. you owe it to him.
    sammy.
    good luck


  7. #7
    Respected Member somebody's Avatar
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    Tell your Mahal everything about you and make sure he is doing the same.

    If it was mainly your ex's fault the last Visa was fouled up its not your problem.

    If you can share some thing about your self with a stranger in the Brit embassy then you can share it with the man you wanna spend your life with surely?

    Your be fine stick around here and everyone will help you
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginapeterb View Post

    Tell the truth young lady, and you might just make it.....

    second the motion , tell the truth


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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine View Post
    Hello to all i am a newbie here i hope anyone can advice or enlighten me im really confuse on what to do with my situation.

    I have a brit fiance and were together for more than two years now and hes been visiting me many times, we are so much inlove and happy with each other. Now my probelm is this, i have a past which i did not told him, because its one part of my life where i want to forget it and move on and have a fresh start. Its all about i applied a fincee visa before but to a different country not uk, it was denied because there was a foul on the part of the guy and not totally my fault. And now i am very worried because my fiance decided that we will apply for a fiancee visa this year in fact he wants us to sort out the papers as soon as we can so we can be together forever which we both really want to happen.

    Here are my questions:
    1. i have no plans of not telling the truth to the british embassy i will tell them the truth, but will it affect my application? because of my history?

    2. do u think we have a big chance of getting a visa? no problem with the papers and proofs because we have it all.

    3. if i dont tell the british embassy that i applied a visa to another country and was denied, will they find out?

    4. and lastly, if i will tell the british embassy all the truth and my fiance did not know about it, will the embassy contact my fiance and disscus with him about it?

    oh god i have so much questions i hope u can bear with me, i need your advice and opinions. i am really scared of telling my fiance about my past application because i know him too well now, he will really get mad at me i cannot bear it, it scares me that he will change towards me if i tell him. some say that your past is not a big deal to westerners i hope this is true pls dont ask me why i didnt told him from the start coz i still blame myslef for it everyone has a right to have a fresh start.

    Sunshine,

    Honesty is the best policy so be truthful always
    Life can be happier & less stressful if we remember one simple thought..We can't have all that we desire,but prayers will give us all that we deserve.God bless everyone!


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    You need to tell the truth if anything todo with the British Embassy because they will find out anything about you. My wife over stayed in Japan for 2 years and never got caught but when she met me last year the only way for her to marry me was to go back to Philippines. So she surrended her self to the immigration police, luckily she wasn't detained because her sister was there to provide a home for her. But she had 2 weeks to get out of the country and she must show the immigration police that she had bought a ticket home within one week, well I got the ticket for her.

    When we were applying for the spouse visa after we married in Manila, we wasn't sure what to put down because it asks about your previous visa's etc stuff about that subject. So we decided to put the truth down the whole truth, that she has been denied a visa before and that she has over stayed in Japan.

    And guess what, we have her spouse visa granted within 2 months just got it 2 weeks ago, no interview no questions asked. Just a txt saying come collect your visa.

    I think that the British border of immigration appreciates applicants telling the truth no matter how bad it is, because it takes alot of resources for them to chase up answers if they dont add up. Give them the information they need to help you get your visa, thats what there their for.

    I think you should your bf the truth, ask your self, why would he get mad at you, your going to be mr and mrs your suppose to support each other.

    Good luck!


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    nice one there Plonker So shine,i guess you know what to do and good luck to your application besides plonker wife situation are more worse being a TNT or over stayer


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    Respected Member lavander's Avatar
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    Hi Sunshine,

    1. You are questioning the capability of your fiance to understand and accept you
    of who you are by not telling the truth.

    2. Entertaining the thoughts of of declaring incomplete/insufficient information is just
    giving your oppurtunity a lot of chance to be denied.

    3. Trust is one essential factor for a relationship to work...
    and TRUST is only applicable if you are really true with your other behalf...

    4. Its always feels good to have a Peace of Mind! at the end of the day.


    Needless to say, if you continue to have this attitude and mindset, this relationship will end with again as a chapter in your life... and worse, you will never find true happiness..

    Bear with my words.. i hate people who has a lot of pretentions in life. It sucks!.


    Lavander
    Keep moving on...


  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    second the motion , tell the truth


    THIRD the MOTION.....TELL THE TRUTH, your fiancee can understand everything if you really in LOVE together, PAST is PAST and that is OVER, FOCUS on the PRESENT and the FUTURE. British men have a very wide, wide as in WIDE understanding .


    HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY, and the TRUTH will set you FREE


  14. #14
    Respected Member sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plonker View Post
    You need to tell the truth if anything todo with the British Embassy because they will find out anything about you. My wife over stayed in Japan for 2 years and never got caught but when she met me last year the only way for her to marry me was to go back to Philippines. So she surrended her self to the immigration police, luckily she wasn't detained because her sister was there to provide a home for her. But she had 2 weeks to get out of the country and she must show the immigration police that she had bought a ticket home within one week, well I got the ticket for her.

    When we were applying for the spouse visa after we married in Manila, we wasn't sure what to put down because it asks about your previous visa's etc stuff about that subject. So we decided to put the truth down the whole truth, that she has been denied a visa before and that she has over stayed in Japan.

    And guess what, we have her spouse visa granted within 2 months just got it 2 weeks ago, no interview no questions asked. Just a txt saying come collect your visa.

    I think that the British border of immigration appreciates applicants telling the truth no matter how bad it is, because it takes alot of resources for them to chase up answers if they dont add up. Give them the information they need to help you get your visa, thats what there their for.

    I think you should your bf the truth, ask your self, why would he get mad at you, your going to be mr and mrs your suppose to support each other.

    Good luck!

    Hi Mr Plonker, i really apprecite you sharing your wife's experience here. im a bit happy now i thought my case was hopeless , u gave me hope It lightens my feelings now that our visa application soon will still have big chance

    I will tell my fiance very soon, everytime we chat on skype i keep thinking will this be the right timing to tell him now i'm just so coward and scared but i know i will have to tell him very soon and accept the consequences because its my fault why i didnt told him sooner. I love him so dearly, he is my life, my inspiration my everything, i cannot bear it if he gets mad at me and worse leave me becasue of this, oh god i hope not I hope he will understand and accept me as i am including my past. WE have so much plans and dreams for each other when we become together soon, in fact we are very excited coz some of our plans are starting to realize now. i dont want it to end just like that. Thank you guys for all the thoughts you've shared here

    Wish me luck


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    Good Luck Sunshine.....

    And try to help him too..with this forum. Especially your post.Let him read it... It will help him a lot.I'm sure.

    Again Good Luck from all of us here. And welcome to forum,.


  16. #16
    Respected Member PAT's Avatar
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    Hello Sunshine ,its not too late, go and tell him everything. TRUTH will set you free ....Goodluck!!!...


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    My understanding of the Visa process is that ALL visas are treated seperatly, and are not influenced by previous applications. As long as you are honest on your application form then it shouldn't prejudice this application.

    The only time that a previous application may be detrimental to a new application is when the previous application is miss-used, for example, overstaying a 6 month period, or not getting married in a Fiance visa and then being blacklisted by the embassy.

    All Visa applications are treated as individual cases so you should be ok.


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    Hi sunshine,

    If I was your boyfriend, I would like to know about your FULL life as soon as possible.

    Do not hide anything from him and definitely be totally honest with a visa application.

    You have to run the risk of him being a little mad, but it should pass and he will respect you more if you confide in him.

    The quicker you tell him, the less worried you will be and the faster you and your fiance can complete your visa and be together


  19. #19
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=sunshine;110890]
    some say that your past is not a big deal to westerners i hope this is true everyone has a right to have a fresh start.[/QUOTE]



    Not a big deal really! but it will be if you continued lying or not telling him... for he will know eventually...

    Also, hehe remember he is not a Pinoy, a typical Pinoy "macho-wala-naman" lol

    And as you have said, everyone has the right to have a fresh start... yep, and you deserve that... just be honest...

    A relationship built on a deceitful manner and dishonesty will lead to nowhere...


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    love

    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member


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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinesLOVER View Post
    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member
    Welcome aboard.

    Make yourself comfy, and no doubt this site will be of help to you both.


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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinesLOVER View Post
    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member
    Wow!!! What a lovely great result Congrats to both of you!



  23. #23
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    At long last everythign is ok... im happy for both of you...!!!. Love always shines for those who truely in love despites everything.Goodluck to your application....


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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinesLOVER View Post
    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member
    yaaahhhhooooo hello sunshinelover ,how do you know that she is the one,just confused,did she tell you about the forum



    P.S Shine,problem sorted


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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinesLOVER View Post
    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member
    Awwww thats sweet
    tiger tigress

    ♥♥♥♥Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage♥♥♥♥.


  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinesLOVER View Post
    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member
    Glad to hear the news

    welcome to the forum
    Don't make promises when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
    Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise. BE happy.


  27. #27
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    it's good to know that everything is ok now with Sunshine and SunshineLover..


  28. #28
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by sunshinesLOVER View Post
    hey sunshine its me your lover,dont worry its all ok now darling,we be together soon..........thx every1 for helping her..........and hello from me a new member



    wow!, amazing!!




    welcome here by the way Sunsine's Lover!


  29. #29
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    Happy ending there welcome sunshinelover


  30. #30
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    hi shineshinelover nice to hear a happy ending goodluck to both of u and welcome shinelover to this forum.


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