How to handle RACIST IN-LAWS

[britishdetained]

Well nothing beats the Phills calling me a yank or French Swedish i didn't mind but the other two

Still could be worse they might think im from the north or welsh

If its your inlaws is this a one off outburst or the norm. Although the actual words are extremely harsh could it be they due to the stress and worry blame you and the phillipines for your Husbands current situation.

Very tough on you but maybe like others say ignoring and devote your time as you are to much more important issues.

thanks for all your advises...today i got an email from her apologising

Its because since she phoned me i block all the details of Kevin and the case so they wont call me anymore.atleast now they realised that if they keep doing nasty things to me they cant get anything about Kevin and his situation. They must be lucky coz i love Kevin alot and inspite of all this happening to us I never asked them for anything. Maybe they realised that what ever happens Kevin will still know who am i

[Sophie]

thanks for all your advises...today i got an email from her apologising

Its because since she phoned me i block all the details of Kevin and the case so they wont call me anymore.atleast now they realised that if they keep doing nasty things to me they cant get anything about Kevin and his situation. They must be lucky coz i love Kevin alot and inspite of all this happening to us I never asked them for anything. Maybe they realised that what ever happens Kevin will still know who am i

That's good charlene, atleast she came to her senses and realize how unreasonable and out of line she was,
with all her nasty words against you and your family before.....
I'm glad she finally decided to come around

[britishdetained]

That's good charlene, atleast she came to her senses and realize how unreasonable and out of line she was,
with all her nasty words against you and your family before.....
I'm glad she finally decided to come around

yeah im thankful that she has learned to be humble and to say sorry.

[MarBell379]

I can think of life long friends who have bloted out their parents from their lifes and having known both sides very closely since we were very young can see no reason for it. I seriously have yet to come across of any phills who do it.

Brits are not alone in this. I know of at least one in Philippines that has effectively erased a parent.

[britishdetained]

Brits are not alone in this. I know of at least one in Philippines that has effectively erased a parent.

Actually kevs parents are ok, i speak with his dad often now...only his sister is the nasty one . but i hope as she emailed me she will be fair with her comments to me and she would take things properly without being racist or anything. I told her what ever misunderstanding she have with kev should be set aside for a while as what is important now is both families would help for kevins release or even for a fair trial

[Northerner]

Maybe I am just a little bit bitchy at times, but if I find myself in this situation. I will tell my family how I will be having as many mixed race children as nature will allow Just to freak them out

Nothing upsets racists more than knowing that people of the other race are multiplying

[somebody]

thanks for all your advises...today i got an email from her apologising

Its because since she phoned me i block all the details of Kevin and the case so they wont call me anymore.atleast now they realised that if they keep doing nasty things to me they cant get anything about Kevin and his situation. They must be lucky coz i love Kevin alot and inspite of all this happening to us I never asked them for anything. Maybe they realised that what ever happens Kevin will still know who am i

I have been away from the site and with so many posts on the forum its impossible to catch up with everything. So may have missed posts which explain more of the story, so please forgive me if i dive in the wrong end

But doing the old looking at it from the other point of view.

Their son who although they may be estranged from your hubby, he is still their flesh and blood. I know of many Brits who have what to phills sound very strange relationships with the children not speaking to the parents or brothers and sisters who rarely do not for any particular reason.
I can off the top of my head count in double figures.
I can think of life long friends who have bloted out their parents from their lifes and having known both sides very closely since we were very young can see no reason for it. I seriously have yet to come across of any phills who do it.
I can think of other brits who hardly speak to siblings and again no reason. Maybe the shrinks on here know the reasons for.

When i do hear the reasons given its for what sound very trivial and often its appears to be a lack of communication. A lot of Brits are very reserved and feelings and talking about sensitive issues are avoided even with those very close to them and brushed under the carpet.

Also many familys in the uk are either so distant and/or small that if there is an argument there is often no one there to mediate of course in a typical phill family...

Your Hubbys family

All they know is this voice on the phone address in an email contact list, photo in an album.

It seems there has been no dialogue between you and his family which in five years seems odd and I could see (rightly or wrongly) how they could feel you have led there little baby son astray.

Have you spoken to any other members of the family or friends of his from the UK? To get their view point?

Im just wondering what the average pinay mum might say if an estranged child (who they still love or have feelings for) ended up in the UK married a guy they had never met and not had much if any dialogue with then suddenly they hear there beloved child who has seemed to cut them out of their life is in trouble and they are powerless to help.

When a person in the UK joins a cult or a family member marries or starts an affair with a person then the loved one ends up in trouble of course they blame the non family member or the cult. Same in phill i bet

Im not excusing someone ranting on the phone to you and what was said but its of course always a good step i find to understand an argument from all angles.

Maybe this could be the perfect time to show you are a decent human being saying look in the past five years we have not got to know one another but lets start afresh and pull together for the man we both love? Let them know the words offended you but your prepared to forget what happened its a stressful time and at the moment we need to pull together to help my husband /your son.