Eloquently put BlueBird,I read micks story from the early days,the lady went AWOL,didnt bother TXT'ing or mailing for a period of time,took money,a whole plethora of things that gave bad vibes from the outset,theres no smile on the ladies face as she arrives at heathrow,move on with your life mick,go with your gut instincts,they are natures inbuilt survival mechanism.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Sorry to hear that Mick,you know i tried to help her,the last time i
spoke to her,she said that she just want to go home.I have no idea
whats going on between you too.Anyway hope it works out somehow
for you.Take care always and Godspeed.
I am deeply sad about what happened to you and your wife. I admire your kindness towards her even though deep down inside, you are hurting. When will you get over this sad thing? time can only tell :( You are a good person Mick..it just shows you love her unconditionally. To your wife, she should have put you first. You are his family now. You deserve a lot better than that. Hope one day she'll realize how much you love her, and when that time comes I hope she is never that late to win you back :(
You just stay strong..take your time..I'm sure there is nothing, that time has not healed. Your pain will soon go away in god's perfect time.
I feel homesick too but thoughts of going back to the philippines has never entered my mind. Ofcourse I miss my family back home, but my husband is my family now. He comes first and I love him more than anything
Mick,through your posts you come across as a gentleman,someone who really cared for his lady,and a guy who is thoroughly decent,I wish you well in life,I can understand that today has knocked you but its not the end,its just one of those bumps we all hit on a straight stretch,always try and be upbeat whatevers thrown at you,wish you luck in the future.
Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.
Thank you for your advice.Originally Posted by gary2jessica
Her fathers 2nd family are seperate from Jennifers family.
they know about each other but do not mix.
Many things I have given to Jennifer for her family her dad has taken to his 2nd family.
How could I keep her here as she was crying to go back to the philippines.
She would not let me cuddle her even.
Mick.
Sir, personally I think that it was premature . . . it was only two weeks. I think you could have told her to stay here for a number of months and if she still felt the same way, she could go back.
But, all things considered, given the history of your relationship, the course of events that happened could have been predicted, cooler heads prevailing. Of course, I know what it is to be blinded by love
You are a true gentleman, but you got walked over. I think you could have been tougher ... :(
I'm sorry to hear about what happened, I know how painful it was for you. She could have given it some thoughts before deciding to go back here in Philippines. I hope she will realized soon that your relationship is what matters most. Just give it a time.
Im so sorry Mick. Hope you will be together again
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
Do you think Jennifer sees it as her responsibility to look after her siblings. Or is she just upset at the great change in her life. Why does she believe that she alone must do it?
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Hi, do you not think I tried my best to get her to stay!!!!Sir, personally I think that it was premature . . . it was only two weeks. I think you could have told her to stay here for a number of months and if she still felt the same way, she could go back.
But, all things considered, given the history of your relationship, the course of events that happened could have been predicted, cooler heads prevailing. Of course, I know what it is to be blinded by love
You are a true gentleman, but you got walked over. I think you could have been tougher ... :(
I could have been branded anythink if I kept her here against her will!
I love Jennifer very much.
I realise two weeks is too short to judge on, When we married I was there 2 months, I would have willingly lived there _if_ she wanted me to and I could afford to.
Mick.
Hi Mick,
I've read the previous posts on your relationship with this girl and a huge amount of advice given to you at time was saying drop her, she will bring you down. It looks like that advice was not heeded and the predictions have turned out to be true. In one thread you mentioned your savings, I hope these are still intact, or has more good money been thrown after bad? I agree with Tawi2, this girl did not look particularly happy upon arrival and I feel she certainly hasn't really given you any reasonable length of time to get used to her new situation/life.
In my view, for compatability issues, it's probably better to engage in relationships where the lady at least belongs to the same generation as yourself.
Hi yes Jennifer does think she is responible for her younger siblings, her father dissapears for days on end when with his woman and other family.
Jennifer kept saying she needed to start a bussness to keep her sibilings in food.
We of course know the father would just take everything for the other family.
There is nobody in the family working.
Mick.
You respected her needs.I hope she does the same for you. No cuddles is mad! Why bloody not, after everything you do.
I mean you fought all that red tape to get her here, and she disappears. I guess once she solves those problems, she can be back again. Talk about it the issues that affect you both.
You need to tell her how this makes you feel. You needs were not fulfill.
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Hi, I have given her £3,000 towards the operations for her siblings, and did yesterday offer to pay the full cost of the treatment, she then thought I would give her the money to go home with.
I did explain that if she went I could only pay her travelling expenses.
On the age difference I did point that out to her when we met online in 2007, she said she had been let down by a man her own age and wanted to meet somone older! of course I was happy to hear that.
I realise I have been a silly old fool, and will lick my wounds.
Mick.
You seem to have a bad view of this man Mick. He obviously takes care of his woman and child in a new relationship. Is your view coloured by Jennifer? Have you met him? I wish you could talk to him clear. After all he is Jennifer father.
Perhaps she has animosity towards him, but was she was never there when they kids were with their mother, so she might be feeling guilty.
They are his responsibility now the mother has passed away.
Perhaps he was not in love with his ex wife, and tried again with a lady. Jennifer probably hates her?
As for the comment-Disappears for days on end? Most Filipino men I know are never at home, and are usually out working on tricycles or driving jeepney. What does he do?
I think you need to investigate what she plans to do for the future. Whatever decision she makes, affects her husband YOU. I am sure you feel left out of this situation and a bit annoyed too.
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Hi, Jennifer will not be coming back as far as I know.You respected her needs.
I mean you fought all that red tape to get her here, and she disappears. I guess once she solves those problems, she can be back again. Talk about it the issues that affect you both.
You need to tell her how this makes you feel. You needs were not fulfill.
She would ask me for the money first.
Mick.
[QUOTE=mickcant;181936]Hi, I have given her £3,000 towards the operations for her siblings, and did yesterday offer to pay the full cost of the treatment, she then thought I would give her the money to go home with.
QUOTE]
Unfortunately, I see that as another red flag.
Probably hard to realise it at the moment, but I think you're better off out
of this relationship.
I feel for you, I can only imagine the mixed feelings you're experiencing at the moment. Good luck in the future
Keep your money, then go visit her.
Then you will find out whats really going on in the situation. After all a husband has a right to know. Have you seen photos of the situation? All Filipinos have camera phones, so no excuse for her not to send u a picture of where she is and what she is doing.
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Do you think you'll go visit her then when the dusts settled?
I Hate to say this Sir, but she never appreciate all your efforts aside spending £ for the visa/airfare and just in 2 weeks,she never had second thought of going back in PI, just a friendly advice, try to refuse or say no, if she ask for money, or financial support, when you say she isnt coming back, that sounds to me she end up the relationship, move on lwe only had one life to live, dont waste it by others making us upset
Best wishes and all the best in the future
I would not suggest for Mick to do that, I hope not
Pretty much sums up my thoughts
I'm very sorry to hear that Mick. I would have thought that after all of the effort you have put into the getting married, getting the visa and bringing her here to the UK, all of which are things she must have wanted also at some point, not to mention the money you have spent, that she would have given it a decent chance and at least have stayed a few months before making this decision.
I think she has been extremely selfish and very unfair to you and if I were you, I would have no more contact with her and I would put this whole sorry epsisode behind me and move on.
Iain.
Easier said than done when they're married.I would have no more contact with her and I would put this whole sorry epsisode behind me and move on.
I never said it would be easy, but when things come to a point where there doesn't seem to be anything to hold on to or to build on, then I believe that you have to face reality and move on, however hard and painful that may be.
Iain.
Hey c'mon she only went back to take care of the kids, why is everyone saying its the end of the world?
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Thank you Iain,
your advice is very welcolmed, I am very stunned at the moment but do think your advice sound,
Mick
hi mick,im just reading your post,
i cant understand your wife why she need to leave you,yea i understand because of her sister and brother, but her dad is there to look after them,
when i get married with my hubby and he said i need to go with him here in the uk....i dont want because i am leaving my son, but he give me a choice
he said do you want to come with me?
or you stay here,untill 3years time you ganna wait untill you see me,
so i deside to come with my hubby,because i love him, so thats why i am saying to your wife, she should stay with you for a couple of months because
you did not see each other for a year?
but that is my opinion
mick
but i am so sad for you
You make even bigger sacrifice Lizahi mick,im just reading your post,
i cant understand your wife why she need to leave you,yea i understand because of her sister and brother, but her dad is there to look after them,
when i get married with my hubby and he said i need to go with him here in the uk....i dont want because i am leaving my son, but he give me a choice
he said do you want to come with me?
or you stay here,untill 3years time you ganna wait untill you see me,
so i deside to come with my hubby,because i love him, so thats why i am saying to your wife, she should stay with you for a couple of months because
you did not see each other for a year?
but that is my opinion
mick
but i am so sad for you
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Ya, what I want to know from Mick is ... is it the end of the relationship and therefore marriage now, or is there a future?
What do you think mick bud?
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