Issue of sending money to family in pinas

[maria_and_matt]

We have an old saying in this country which is "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" and I personally would find it offensive and insulting if I ever heard or was given the expression that that they thought "it's not enough"

FYI my mother didnt say that what we send is not enough, we, my husband especially asks my mum if she bought all of her medicines and she'd say no coz the cost is too high, and she didnt have enough to buy it all. my hubby do not find that offensive at all.

[IainBusby]

FYI my mother didnt say that what we send is not enough, we, my husband especially asks my mum if she bought all of her medicines and she'd say no coz the cost is too high, and she didnt have enough to buy it all. my hubby do not find that offensive at all.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you did say "although sometimes i get annoyed when what we send is not enough" which gave me impression that your family did not think that what you have sent is enough, do you mean that you get annoyed because you do not think that what you have sent is enough?

[maria_and_matt]

I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you did say "although sometimes i get annoyed when what we send is not enough" which gave me impression that your family did not think that what you have sent is enough, do you mean that you get annoyed because you do not think that what you have sent is enough?

yes, its me who gets annoyed, sometimes i think that instead of getting that handbag, or buying yet another pair of boots i could have sent that money for my mums meds. i am just so lucky that my husband understands and loves me and my family. for the 10 years that we have been together i have not heard him moan about him helping me and my family.

[adam&chryss]

I completely understand your situation Maria and I think its good that you helped your mum.
In a normal situation I cant say I understand how someone can expect a person to go to work for up to 60hrs per week and have little or no time to themselves and then send THEM money for holidays or something. A phone or nice shoes blah blah blah.
For me having a young child and step-son they are my priority as they cant earn a wage so I need to provide for them.
I know my wifes family and they wouldnt want to take food from my childs mouth or clothes from their back just so they could have a holiday or such.
I know some families in Phil see having a white man in the family makes their eyes light up with £££, sorry I mean $$$$.
I know that from my first experience in Phil with a money grabber and her lying family. I still have debts from that time cos of their constant demands and lies.
I should have said "go get a job and work like I do then you can have what you want" but you get " its so difficult here blah blah blah"
What? difficult to get of ya backside and do an honest days work instead of getting someone else to do it for you?
Thats more like it.....

Adam

[maria_and_matt]

I completely understand your situation Maria and I think its good that you helped your mum.
In a normal situation I cant say I understand how someone can expect a person to go to work for up to 60hrs per week and have little or no time to themselves and then send THEM money for holidays or something. A phone or nice shoes blah blah blah.
For me having a young child and step-son they are my priority as they cant earn a wage so I need to provide for them.
I know my wifes family and they wouldnt want to take food from my childs mouth or clothes from their back just so they could have a holiday or such.
I know some families in Phil see having a white man in the family makes their eyes light up with £££, sorry I mean $$$$.
I know that from my first experience in Phil with a money grabber and her lying family. I still have debts from that time cos of their constant demands and lies.
I should have said "go get a job and work like I do then you can have what you want" but you get " its so difficult here blah blah blah"
What? difficult to get of ya backside and do an honest days work instead of getting someone else to do it for you?
Thats more like it.....

Adam

i salute men like you who loves step children as your own. i see how you are with yujin and i see how phil is with my son.
my mum didnt use to rely on me as much as she does now. we just want to give her as much as we can on what time she has left.

[joebloggs]

yes, its me who gets annoyed, sometimes i think that instead of getting that handbag, or buying yet another pair of boots i could have sent that money for my mums meds. i am just so lucky that my husband understands and loves me and my family. for the 10 years that we have been together i have not heard him moan about him helping me and my family.

in one way i'm lucky my misses is not into collecting handbags,shoes etc (thank god ), she would rather send the money to her aunt and cousin, which i can understand, her aunt gave up her job to look after our daughter for many years, and because of her age and physical difficulties she would have problems finding a job, also we help her cousin, who is like a brother to my misses, we have nearly got him thru a nursing degree, why ? , he's got no one to help him, no parents and what family he has don't give a

those who don't 'have' to give are lucky, who who can afford and want to give are lucky, those who think it's their duty to help , for doing what you can

of course you can be abused, but no one is living a life of luxury on what we send , and if it was my aunt and cousin i would do the same, they are grateful for the help we give, and never ask for more, unless it is a real emergency

and respect to your hubby , I've moaned at my misses a few times but i know she is right

[maria_and_matt]

in one way i'm lucky my misses is not into collecting handbags,shoes etc (thank god ), she would rather send the money to her aunt and cousin, which i can understand, her aunt gave up her job to look after our daughter for many years, and because of her age and physical difficulties she would have problems finding a job, also we help her cousin, who is like a brother to my misses, we have nearly got him thru a nursing degree, why ? , he's got no one to help him, no parents and what family he has don't give a

those who don't 'have' to give are lucky, who who can afford and want to give are lucky, those who think it's their duty to help , for doing what you can

of course you can be abused, but no one is living a life of luxury on what we send , and if it was my aunt and cousin i would do the same, they are grateful for the help we give, and never ask for more, unless it is a real emergency

and respect to your hubby , I've moaned at my misses a few times but i know she is right

i have great respect for men like you who understands, talking to my pinay friends most husbands would help but not all the time.
sometimes i think that my husbands blessings also comes from the fact that he gives without hesitation. i can remember when my dad was fighting cancer if my husband didnt help he would have died earlier :-(.
i cannot understand why my husband does all this things for me, sometimes i can be a bit mean to him :-(. i know in my heart that he loves me without reservations but 80%of the time i am a bitch to him

[lizaphil]

yes, its me who gets annoyed, sometimes i think that instead of getting that handbag, or buying yet another pair of boots i could have sent that money for my mums meds. i am just so lucky that my husband understands and loves me and my family. for the 10 years that we have been together i have not heard him moan about him helping me and my family.

wow lucky you maria,to have husband like that
my hubby he moan if he knows i send to my family some money...he
dont want me to help theme,,,,but he cant stop me because i never ask my
hubbys money its my money,i work so hard with my money.so i dont care what he say,,,,i am just lucky because i am working here ...and not asking any penny to my husband...so i do what i want... right?

[maria_and_matt]

wow lucky you maria,to have husband like that
my hubby he moan if he knows i send to my family some money...he
dont want me to help theme,,,,but he cant stop me because i never ask my
hubbys money its my money,i work so hard with my money.so i dont care what he say,,,,i am just lucky because i am working here ...and not asking any penny to my husband...so i do what i want... right?

yeah i'm lucky , and yes you work so if you choose to send some money back home its up to you. you go girl

[lizaphil]

yeah i'm lucky , and yes you work so if you choose to send some money back home its up to you. you go girl

yea why not...its my own money so my hubby cant tell me what to do diba?

[maria_and_matt]

yea why not...its my own money so my hubby cant tell me what to do diba?

no he cant i wish hubby will let me work too!

[pennybarry]

It's better to send food or other gifts rather than money. My friend had a bit of (my) money left over at the end of the day, which he gave to his granddaughter for texting, rather than to his daughter who was looking after the granddaughter's baby and had no money for milk.
I soon realised my friend and his family were happy to take as much money from me as I was prepared to give, and would not stop until I was as poor as they were. The worse part about it is that they thought it was for my own good, because this culture is greedy and selfish and should learn to share.

Our culture is close family ties and helping each other. Being greedy and selfish is not the one. I agree there's family who are parasites and greedy and sorry if you might found one. I am trying to consider why they became parasites sometimes. Maybe if there's factories close to them, they will work and not ask, or if there's public college where they live, they will study. But many people were born poor and hard to move on because of lack of money.
Unlike in Britain, the government can afford to give benefits to parasites.
Although we pay taxes in the Philippines, (VAT,withholding tax, business tax, real property tax, income tax, inheritance tax) it is too hard for our government to share the tax money to people.

My sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag... I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it...

When I had my holiday in Pinas I have noticed my niece Louis Vuitton bag as I cannot afford to buy it, and talked her privately why she afford to have it. She said it was my sister who bought it for her and my sis said, she did her job well done and she deserve it. I just think maybe a mother will always do that if can afford.

wow lucky you maria,to have husband like that
my hubby he moan if he knows i send to my family some money...he
dont want me to help theme,,,,but he cant stop me because i never ask my
hubbys money its my money,i work so hard with my money.so i dont care what he say,,,,i am just lucky because i am working here ...and not asking any penny to my husband...so i do what i want... right?

Good girl you are! If your husband gave you financial freedom, then you have the right, but then save for yourself and sometimes check your husband wallet. If you think he is running out of allowance, put some £20-50 inside. If he asked why his money multiplied, tell him you love him really and money is meant to be shared to loves ones. Then give him a hug

[South-east boy]

Good girl you are! If your husband gave you financial freedom, then you have the right, but then save for yourself and sometimes check your husband wallet. If you think he is running out of allowance, put some £20-50 inside. If he asked why his money multiplied, tell him you love him really and money is meant to be shared to loves ones. Then give him a hug

That would be really sweet. If I had a partner do that for me I would be so happy-not because of the extra money but that it has shown that they have thought about me and us. I guess also because I've very rarely had a partner that's done anything that has shown that they have thought about me much.