a very intresting surprice situation...didnt see it coming...

[joebloggs]

I'm sorry to hear about this Allyn, it must be very difficult for you.

I would suggest that you talk with your husband seriously, tell him that your life will not be better staying in Phil. Ask him if he wants to finish your relationship then it's fine you let him free and do what he wants but ask him to help you with your ILR so you will be able to stay here and maybe help your family back in PI (I don't know the reality of your situation). You can move out on your own find a stable job and start a life on your own.

I know that it will be hard, but I suggest that you convince him to help you and that you will not be a burden for him.

I hope this helps...I'm really sad to hear about your situation.

if their marriage is over and he helps her get ILR then they will be obtaining it by deception, and it could be revoked, thou it would be difficult to prove if they were still living together, and people have done this in the past..

all comes down to whether it is money problems he wants her to go back to the phils or does he want to end the marriage? I suppose you need to find out the real reason why he wants you to go to the phils allyn, and then decide your next step ..

[Peanutz]

if their marriage is over and he helps her get ILR then they will be obtaining it by deception, and it could be revoked, thou it would be difficult to prove if they were still living together, and people have done this in the past..

all comes down to whether it is money problems he wants her to go back to the phils or does he want to end the marriage? I suppose you need to find out the real reason why he wants you to go to the phils allyn, and then decide your next step ..

He is sending her home with the excuse of him being in debt and she doesn't get along with his family (I just read her post where her father inlaw slap her at the back of her head and gave her a kick on behind, this is humilating!!!).
They can help each other if the problem is money then she can help him to pay his debt and him can help her get her ILR. The point here is how she can stay here and be able to help her family back in PI.

What a situation Allyn...I hope you can overcome all this.

[Peanutz]

It will not be a deception if he help Allyn to have her ILR they are still married, and if there is still a little bit of humanity left in this man's heart he should consider what kind of future her wife will going to have back in PI...They will just help each other to do what is best for them...They are still legally married and they are facing a marriage crisis...they can still get a good thing out of it by helping each other...

[joebloggs]

It will not be a deception if he help Allyn to have her ILR they are still married, and if there is still a little bit of humanity left in this man's heart he should consider what kind of future her wife will going to have back in PI...They will just help each other to do what is best for them...They are still legally married and they are facing a marriage crisis...they can still get a good thing out of it by helping each other...

The relationship must be subsisting at the time you apply for ILR, and you must both intend to continue live together in the future.

[Peanutz]

The relationship must be subsisting at the time you apply for ILR, and you must both intend to continue live together in the future.

I understand that Joe...but in exceptional ciscumstances... laws doesn't mirror the reality of our lives...

[Fitzy]

I understand that Joe...but in exceptional ciscumstances... laws doesn't mirror the reality of our lives...

Actually, working at the Airport, I would normally agree with Joe, but in this case, I agree totally with you Peanutz.
On face value of course, from what Allyn says.
Seems like Hubby is acting kinda childish to me.

[Peanutz]

Actually, working at the Airport, I would normally agree with Joe, but in this case, I agree totally with you Peanutz.
On face value of course, from what Allyn says.
Seems like Hubby is acting kinda childish to me.

Allyn's situation makes me really think...

In this circumstances a foreigner husband/wife actually doesn't have a right?


So if a UK national has decided that his/her wife is not good enough then she/he can dump her/him back wherever she came from?

Where's our rights in here? Where do we stand? Is this the system we are living in? Is this the system where my money goes?

[joebloggs]

I understand that Joe...but in exceptional ciscumstances... laws doesn't mirror the reality of our lives...

but that is the reality, 'The relationship must be subsisting at the time you apply for ILR, and you must both intend to continue live together in the future.'

but as others have said, maybe they should try relate or some other marriage guidance organisation to try and solve the problems, if not get legal advice from her local law centre or cab.

from what you posted about her father in law, maybe if she has suffered abuse or threats from her husband ??? then maybe a possible claim for domestic violence, or discretionary leave, but i doubt it ..

[South-east boy]

Sorry to hear this news Allyn, you've had a really tough time of it recently. Do you work full-time or part-time? If full time, how is sending you back going to help him as with working full-time you would have been giving him money towards the bills. Or will he be moving out of the flat to be with his parents? Wasn't his brother living with you too and giving rent? If not anymore couldn't he get another lodger? I would have though living in a flat with his wage, your wage and rent from his brother/another lodger, surely he could be able to get by? If you are working part-time, would you be able to work full time or find another part-time job? Like Joe said, if couples love each other, they try to work together in good & bad times and do whatever it takes to stay together. Do you have any friends that you could stay with rather than going back to Phils?

[Fitzy]

if their marriage is over and he helps her get ILR then they will be obtaining it by deception, and it could be revoked, thou it would be difficult to prove if they were still living together, and people have done this in the past..

all comes down to whether it is money problems he wants her to go back to the phils or does he want to end the marriage? I suppose you need to find out the real reason why he wants you to go to the phils allyn, and then decide your next step ..

All very valid points.
My Peruvian ex has her ILR!
Without it its a problem.

We're all here for you Allyn