Would you marry a bargirl ??

[James Hubbard]

As for sparky saying there are a lot of hypocrites?...Why?

From his explanation, I can see 2 points

( 1 ) Sparky things that anyone answering "no" to the question of "would you marry a bar girl" equals being holier than thou and thinking that they are better than those who say "yes"

( 2 ) Sparky seems then to think that "don't knock it til you've tried it" applies in this case, and I and others are hypocrites, because never having had a daliance with said lady-type, one can not judge.

Of course, as I noted previously, I think that this topic has something of an emotional charge for him.

You know what? There are many things that I know I wouldn't want to do - that I have never done. Like sticking my head in the oven. If that makes me a hypocrite, then,

I am happy to be a hypocrite

[Steve.r]

Ok, now I have been to these places, sampled the delights and seen the sadness that also frequents these places. I have talked to, been chatted up by and left with such a lady. Now, that said, I have always treated everyone I have met with the utmost of respect and been shown that in return. We are talking about human beings here, not monsters, freaks or freeloaders. As i see it, the girls that work in the bars mostly have no choice, their situations have led them to working this way ie: selling themselves for cash.
Would I marry a bar girl, why ever not? You have to ask yourself if you can trust your girl. If you are able to look forward and not back, then you might even find a real gem. We have all made mistakes in our pasts, why let this cast a shadow over your future. Everyone deserves a second chance, even a 'bar girl'

[fred]

I know for an absolute fact that many many men that meet girls online for marriage purposes are infact marrying ex/ current bar girls..Of course they have no idea and of course they are by far in the minority in regards phil/uk relationships..
Those that do will probably never have any idea and the subject will probably never come up and so it will never matter!!
Every town with a bar throughout the P.I will always have a great number of internet cafe`s very close by..
You do the math!!

[Northerner]

I seem to recall a similar thread last year sometime..

But would I marry a bar girl? Not really sure on that one! to be honest if I was not in love with a woman and I knew she was a bar girl then I would not look to her as a woman I might marry (trust issues, HIV, etc). But then I also think it is true that you cannot help who you fall in love with. So if I was to fall for such a lady then who knows

I think everyone here knows full well the level of poverty in the Philippines so it is difficult to judge a woman for doing this kind of work. I know plenty of people who earn 50 to 150 pesos a day And I can easily see how a young, single mother would easily fall into that lifestyle out of the simple need to feed her children.

The fact that most men say no to the idea of marrying a prostitute is for simple insecurities we have. Would a woman on here marry a male escort? Again, same issue.

I know a few men who have dated la dancers and they go through fits of jealousy when they think of other men getting a "dance" from their girlfriends. I could only imagine they would be far worse if they knew that their ladies were getting more intimate...

[Northerner]

A slight detour from the current slant of the thread.. but if anyone gets the chance I recommend a documentary called "Bangkok Girl". It is a sad story of one girl who worked in the Thai sex trade until she died. See the trailer below.

[pennybarry]

IHMO. If I'm a man either if you're not a bar girl and you enjoy collecting men in bed, I will not marry you.

[Ross]

this is a sensitive topic and if I were a man, my answer is a NO. I knew some women who have worked in a bar and most of them (not all) have trust issues. maybe because they are always after for money, the very reason why they work that way, not interested in working the hard way. some of them would only use the foreigner and I feel sorry to some men as these women are keeping a local boyfriend that she is supporting financially through a foreigner bf/husband. I can say that out 10 there are 7.
I've gone to angeles city in pampanga where the prostitution is very open like most places and have talked to some girls at very young age. and most of them are chasing dreams and hoping to be married to a foreigner that will lift them from poverty. a very sad to reason out and I bet some filipinos think that way as an easy way out of poverty.

but whatever the person does in the past, at the end of the day he/she is a human and deserves a chance. not by the people around him/her but him/herself to prove that he/she can be trusted.

another is, let's not pre-judge and look at the other side of the coin.

saying NO ..itlsef ..is shwoing how sometimes think we are far more better than everyone but actually we never know tomroww were become one of those which i think peronally i wont mine lol

[Pete/London]

were become one of those which i think peronally i wont mine lol

Wow that`s quite a statement Ross but I think you may be a bit too old

[Ross]

Wow that`s quite a statement Ross but I think you may be a bit too old

better old than never had any ..ahow about you ar you qualify to be headless chicks i think
am not not afraid of my younger beter that to thsoe who pretend to be young when its not lol

[Ross]

IHMO. If I'm a man either if you're not a bar girl and you enjoy collecting men in bed, I will not marry you.

agree but that is only we think because it was we grown up and been tought to us since wish other seen life more than its beauty itlsef and understand deeply the meaning of life..sound hypocrite maybe but we cant please anybody opinion..what matter most is we can be able torespect each other point of view..

[KeithD]

agree

... and who says we'll never get old foes to agree and have peace in the Middle East?

[sparky]

Fred put what I was getting at- better than I could those that don't know about these things will always stay in the dark about certain realities of tHe culture.

As a few have pointed out I do get on my high horse about this subject and I will set the record straight here. I have had 2 relationships with bargirls in the past both Thai. One good and one bad. Also I have owned a bar in Thailand and I have seen things that many on here would... Well let's leave it at that. Apart from one girl I Am still in contact with all my ex employees and they are like an extended family to me and I am proud of them all

[mistermatty]

Fred put what I was getting at- better than I could those that don't know about these things will always stay in the dark about certain realities of tHe culture.

As a few have pointed out I do get on my high horse about this subject and I will set the record straight here. I have had 2 relationships with bargirls in the past both Thai. One good and one bad. Also I have owned a bar in Thailand and I have seen things that many on here would... Well let's leave it at that. Apart from one girl I Am still in contact with all my ex employees and they are like an extended family to me and I am proud of them all

As a shy guy i wanna know know what goes on in these bars and how bargirls behave ??

[KeithD]

Bar girls don't talk much .... they always have a mouthful

[bornatbirth]

so we are all married to former bargirls, they just didnt tell us

so sparky was a pimp?

[mistermatty]

Bar girls don't talk much .... they always have a mouthful

so your saying there wild in bed ???

[KeithD]

so your saying there wild in bed ???

Depends how much you leave under the pillow

[sparky]

so we are all married to former bargirls, they just didnt tell us

so sparky was a pimp?

You got something against pimps now?

[James Hubbard]

Well, at the expense of sounding like a prude.

I am a Christian, therefore I wouldn't go into one of these places. One of these bars where the bar-girls work.

I would certainly not marry one.

I am married to a lovely Christian girl. I know how innocent she was ....

I personally have been quite innocent too. Shy and sensitive, a Christian with no real past experience.

But it was also through choice - not just because I am shy.

But, living in Birmingham, and later in the Philippines, I know a thing or two about what goes on. When i was living in the Philippines, I had some American friends who were intimately acquainted with this bar-scene and the girls who go along with it.

Let me make it clear, I wouldn't marry a prostitute, because she is a prostitute. Spiritually speaking, her job choices will have effectively seared her conscience. It doesn't require me to have had first hand experience to know that.

So that's the depth of my logic.

It's the dream come true - for me and my wife, to be honest!

[bornatbirth]

You got something against pimps now?

well , yes and anyone whos suggesting my wife is a former bargirl

Well, at the expense of sounding like a prude.

I am a Christian, therefore I wouldn't go into one of these places. One of these bars where the bar-girls work.

I would certainly not marry one.

I am married to a lovely Christian girl. I know how innocent she was ....

I personally have been quite innocent too. Shy and sensitive, a Christian with no real past experience.

But it was also through choice - not just because I am shy.

But, living in Birmingham, and later in the Philippines, I know a thing or two about what goes on. When i was living in the Philippines, I had some American friends who were intimately acquainted with this bar-scene and the girls who go along with it.

Let me make it clear, I wouldn't marry a prostitute, because she is a prostitute. Spiritually speaking, her job choices will have effectively seared her conscience. It doesn't require me to have had first hand experience to know that.

So that's the depth of my logic.

It's the dream come true - for me and my wife, to be honest!

thing is, she just hasnt told you and its a fact!!

[fred]

so we are all married to former bargirls, they just didnt tell us

so sparky was a pimp?

Anyone that has been on this forum long enough should realise that anything is possible!!

The reason we know about these cases are because many have been brave/frank enough to expose their realities on a public notice board. Imagine those that have no intention of displaying that kind of information and of course those that believe they have nothing to ask.
In Angeles for example the internet cafe`s are packed with bargirls all chatting to foreigners..
Do you honestly believe that these girls are so naive to mention they are working or have worked in a bar?
Same goes for any girl working in any of the 1000`s of bars throughout the Philippines..Most of these girls want to marry foreigners and with the internet as a tool they certainly will do..By hook or by crook.
As I said though...Its sure that they are by far the minority if you look at the volume of Filipino women leaving here married...

[Steve.r]

Burying your head in the sand does not give you the right to judge these girls, nor does Christian or any other religion. Sparky's experience, both good and bad proves that just because you lead a certain life, it cannot be changed by given different options.

If you think about it, we re all prostitutes to our work, whatever work that is.

[bornatbirth]

Anyone that has been on this forum long enough should realise that anything is possible!!

The reason we know about these cases are because many have been brave/frank enough to expose their realities on a public notice board. Imagine those that have no intention of displaying that kind of information and of course those that believe they have nothing to ask.
In Angeles for example the internet cafe`s are packed with bargirls all chatting to foreigners..
Do you honestly believe that these girls are so naive to mention they are working or have worked in a bar?
Same goes for any girl working in any of the 1000`s of bars throughout the Philippines..Most of these girls want to marry foreigners and with the internet as a tool they certainly will do..By hook or by crook.
As I said though...Its sure that they are by far the minority if you look at the volume of them leaving married...

im not saying it doesnt happen, of course it does....i chatted to a girl who won't tell me that she was a maid in case i thought she was to low for me...
but i dislike someone making suggestions and not backing it up, i dislike sex tourists and what they do, do you ever wonder why a bargirl is so ed up, maybe its the , ing them around and treating them like trash!!

[fred]

I used to own a manicure pedicure,hairdressers/dress shop for women bang in the center of Ermita..A lot of the bar girl customers were pretty rough and uneducated but there were many others that were just like any other sweet,kind and generous natured Filipina and I would challenge any outsider to guess their profession!!
I became good friends with a few of them..They all married foreigners that had no clue and this was long before the internet existed.
BTW...No one is suggesting anything about your wife in particular...Take a chill pill.

[Pete/London]

better old than never had any ..ahow about you ar you qualify to be headless chicks i think
am not not afraid of my younger beter that to thsoe who pretend to be young when its not lol

I haven`t a clue what you mean or the"headless chicks" remark ? can you explain

[James Hubbard]

Burying your head in the sand does not give you the right to judge these girls, nor does Christian or any other religion. Sparky's experience, both good and bad proves that just because you lead a certain life, it cannot be changed by given different options.

If you think about it, we re all prostitutes to our work, whatever work that is.

Sorry mate, I am not a prostitute to my work.

I do my work coz i love it, and I often will "fire" my clients.

Its nonsense to say that because someone has a conviction they're burying their head in the sand.

That's simply wrong.

And can peoples' opinions be changed? Sure ... but it depends on how strongly held their convictions were in the first place.

Although, it would kinda show what our society has come to that we would have people arguing the case for marrying prostitutes.

Hmmm.

I don't want to argue about this, agree to disagree.

Besides, I am married to a lovely woman

[James Hubbard]

Burying your head in the sand does not give you the right to judge these girls.

To live a life without judgement is to be so incapable of doing the most basic things in life.

I judge that i am hungry, my action on that - get a sandwich

[Northerner]

I'm amazed this thread is getting so heated

Okay, so most here would not marry a bar girl. Some would. Perhaps some even have.. But everyone is entitled to their own choice of lifestyle and who they marry, simple.

And could everyone try not to think others are suggesting their wives/girlfriends are bar girls. As fred pointed out, yes it happens but far be it for me or anyone else to guess who might or might not be from that lifestyle.

And try not to be insulted by a bit of banter

[bornatbirth]

so are most bargirls are poor and from the shacks and if there loud and wild, be warned

btw i can talk for myself!

[KeithD]

Aren't they cheaper than a wife?