Beginning to ask myself...

[Geraldine]

Hi faralorbes & telford, I admire ladies like you, I myself doesnt ask money from my husband...if I want to go shopping, I use my own money...I work so I can buy myself silly things...I prefer to pay my own airfare if we go on holidays bec hubby pays for the kids, accommodation and other expense, so fair enough if i do my share.

Hi Ken, I dont know what her intentions are but I hope her feelings for you is for real....see if she will change if you stop sending her money anyway if you havent met her Im sure she can sort herself out.

[kencornish]

Hi faralorbes & telford, I admire ladies like you, I myself doesnt ask money from my husband...if I want to go shopping, I use my own money...I work so I can buy myself silly things...I prefer to pay my own airfare if we go on holidays bec hubby pays for the kids, accommodation and other expense, so fair enough if i do my share.

Hi Ken, I dont know what her intentions are but I hope her feelings for you is for real....see if she will change if you stop sending her money anyway if you havent met her Im sure she can sort herself out.

Thanks, Geraldine, M and I met in Cebu last October. I admire also ladies like yourself, those you mention, and all others who act likewise.

I only found out about the adopted son when a child's name I didn't recognise was in Petition.

Latest talk has been for M to file criminal proceedings against her ex for the assaults. I believe this had been done before with no result for M, but the judge was a crooked mate of her ex and was murdered about the time the case was dealt with. Needless to say there would be money required for such a case to be made.

On reflection... for someone who claimed to have little knowledge of Cebu, she seemed to know her way around and was always chatty with the cabbies. Also, there was something about the hotel we had in Manila that made me laugh and, believe it or not, I'm still laughing as I write this... cos I know what you're going to say.

The room was excellent with all services. There was a full mirrored wall alongside the bed. On the back of the door there was a tariff of room charges, with various charges depending on length of occupation. I pointed this out to M and remarked about it being an obvious "knocking shop" as the room could be taken for very short periods, as little as 2 or 4hrs if I recall. She made no comment.

If my reference to the nature of the room, or reference in the next para, contravene terms of posting, then I accept that, with apologies, and I'm happy for Mod to amend appropriately. Thanks.

Next day she left the room to go to shops for loads and reception phoned me to ask if it was Ok for her to go out. Nuff said. Maybe we are now underground porn stars and I don't know it?
And maybe... ... best not go there, eh?

A few weeks ago, before joining this board, I sent an eMail to Pete, ginapeterb, and I'm indebted for the good advice he gave in response, also the views and opinions of many others on these forums. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but so is the ability to accept personal responsibility for our actions. That's why I can accept the fact that, at my age, having lived for 13yrs without an emotional partner caused me to act too quickly in this relationship, didn't get all the necessary advice and correct info before getting in too deep, and left it far too late for joining this board.

Whether or not I continue with Phils remains to be seen, but if I do then it seems like Pete's suggestion to consider a single lady or a widow lady of suitable age with no complications, no kids, adult kids, or just one or two youngsters might be a far easier path to tread... carefully. Cebu or Leyte seem like a better bet than Samar too. Time will tell.

Suddenly, the thought of being on my own with a clear mind doesn't seem such a bad idea. Allow time for emotions to stabilise and the dust to settle.

Ken

[aposhark]

Suddenly, the thought of being on my own with a clear mind doesn't seem such a bad idea. Allow time for emotions to stabilise and the dust to settle.
Ken

Ken, your story is quite complicated and, to be honest, from what you have written, it sounds suspicious to me.

As many people have commented on here, go to the Philippines and see that there are certainly many lovely, friendly ladies there.

I would trust the posters on here; we look after each other with good advice and we can all get pointers for the future.

A Filipina can be the most loving and caring lady, and the quest is worth it in the end if you put effort and enthusiasm in.

Best of luck in your decision.

Onwards and Upwards.

[kencornish]

Ken, your story is quite complicated and, to be honest, from what you have written, it sounds suspicious to me.

As many people have commented on here, go to the Philippines and see that there are certainly many lovely, friendly ladies there.

I would trust the posters on here; we look after each other with good advice and we can all get pointers for the future.

A Filipina can be the most loving and caring lady, and the quest is worth it in the end if you put effort and enthusiasm in.

Best of luck in your decision.

Onwards and Upwards.

Thanks, aposhark, for your remarks and encouragement. I can tell there is love and compassion on this board, so trust will not be an issue for me here.

Complicated is correct... suspicious, possibly. I've been thinking the voice in my head was a devil causing doubt, rather than intuition. There's been a whole lot of intuition in our relationship... mostly positive... so I overrode the doubt. But, just to show how intuition is still alive, here's what happened last night.

After avoiding any possible contact with M all day yesterday, I activated Yahoo at 2210 last night, 0510am in Phils. There was no message from her, but there was a message from Xoom that the cash had been collected just 6 minutes before I went to check. Some will say coincidence, but when such things happen as regularly as in this relationship, I don't think so.

Ken

[IainBusby]

I think you've got to just take this one on the chin Ken, put it down to experience, just accept that you've been scammed and are still being scammed, then move on. There are lots of nice genuine Filipinas out there, most of whom would be loathe to ever ask you for any money.

The first time I sent my missus money, before we were married that is, it was for her air fare to Manila to meet me there. I sent her a bit more than P5000 and when we met in Manila, she offered me the change from the P5000. This to my mind is more typical of a genuine Filipina.
Iain.

[kencornish]

I think you've got to just take this one on the chin Ken, put it down to experience, just accept that you've been scammed and are still being scammed, then move on. There are lots of nice genuine Filipinas out there, most of whom would be loathe to ever ask you for any money.

The first time I sent my missus money, before we were married that is, it was for her air fare to Manila to meet me there. I sent her a bit more than P5000 and when we met in Manila, she offered me the change from the P5000. This to my mind is more typical of a genuine Filipina.
Iain.

Thanks, Iain, and I've noted that your remark about finance is consistent throughout this board. A valuable lesson well learned, but I have to say again that requests for money only came in this last month when her situation became more difficult. And I believe that to be true.

But, true or not, there's no problem for me to accept whatever comes my way on this or any other decision I make. Still, the more I read and respond, the more I feel that the right lady is not so far away or out of reach... and might well be a tonic when I'm ready. Thanks again.

Ken

[joebloggs]

I have to say again that requests for money only came in this last month when her situation became more difficult. And I believe that to be true.

But, true or not, there's no problem for me to accept whatever comes my way on this or any other decision I make. Still, the more I read and respond, the more I feel that the right lady is not so far away or out of reach... and might well be a tonic when I'm ready. Thanks again.

Ken

Ken, you 'believe' it to be truth, or you want it to be true, the thing is you don't know, not easy to deal with, i've been there myself, and when my misses got into difficulty, she didn't ask me for money, i offered, it was refused by her and by her mom, i pratically begged her to take the money for weeks and for me then, there was no way out

maybe you are being scammed or used and abused, maybe she really does need your help, but becareful what you accuse her of without evidence, anyway the balls in your court, i wish you well.

and i forgot to say, we married in end, and we've been happily married for 6 or 7 years, i can't remember

[PeterB]

Whether or not I continue with Phils remains to be seen, but if I do then it seems like Pete's suggestion to consider a single lady or a widow lady of suitable age with no complications, no kids, adult kids, or just one or two youngsters might be a far easier path to tread...

Just come to Phils and find your ideal woman over here - you can find very attractive women in every village or hamlet. Those not on the net are much less likely to be scammers!

[Geraldine]

Hi Ken,

You really sound like a nice man, if you have decided to move on...I'll be happy to introduce you to my Mum Oh my I sound like pimping my Mum here hahah. Anyway my Mum is 59yrs old, very nice and lovely lady. Dad died 4yrs ago so I want her to move on and just enjoy life with a DECENT guy. Of course I want someone who will take her seriously and be nice to her and just spend the rest of their remaining lives happily. She is not aware of this but I did mention to her before that if I can find her a decent man I will. PM me anytime.

All the best.

[kencornish]

Hi Ken,

You really sound like a nice man, if you have decided to move on...I'll be happy to introduce you to my Mum Oh my I sound like pimping my Mum here hahah. Anyway my Mum is 59yrs old, very nice and lovely lady. Dad died 4yrs ago so I want her to move on and just enjoy life with a DECENT guy. Of course I want someone who will take her seriously and be nice to her and just spend the rest of their remaining lives happily. She is not aware of this but I did mention to her before that if I can find her a decent man I will. PM me anytime.

All the best.

Thanks for the compliment, Geraldine, and without any BS you give me a great honour in even considering an intro to your Mum. My wants and needs are simple, much like your Mum I guess, and maybe a lady closer to my own age would be a safer idea. However, I'm respopnsible enough to realise that I need to get myself into a healthier financial position before I consider any lady just now. M has inspired me to come back to life, and I shall never forget that. Time now to put that life to good use. Thanks again, and I shall not forget, Geraldine.

[Philip]

I just want to say something about people commenting on those who need monetary help and having pride etc.

Just because someone asks for money does not mean they are necessarily a scammer or a hooker or that there isn't genuine love etc, everyones situations are different!

I supported Tonet from when we first met online till she was able to come here and get her own job. I was very happy to do so and here we are still together 4 years later and with our first wedding anniversary under our belts.

Those who have managed to get by without the support of your bf/husband are lucky to be able to do so, that's good for you! Those that aren't so lucky can still have pride in themselves and also be genuine with their feelings for their loved partner.

[keithAngel]

I just want to say something about people commenting on those who need monetary help and having pride etc.

Just because someone asks for money does not mean they are necessarily a scammer or a hooker or that there isn't genuine love etc, everyones situations are different!

I supported Tonet from when we first met online till she was able to come here and get her own job. I was very happy to do so and here we are still together 4 years later and with our first wedding anniversary under our belts.

Those who have managed to get by without the support of your bf/husband are lucky to be able to do so, that's good for you! Those that aren't so lucky can still have pride in themselves and also be genuine with their feelings for their loved partner.

I agree

[kencornish]

I just want to say something about people commenting on those who need monetary help and having pride etc.

Just because someone asks for money does not mean they are necessarily a scammer or a hooker or that there isn't genuine love etc, everyones situations are different!

Those who have managed to get by without the support of your bf/husband are lucky to be able to do so, that's good for you! Those that aren't so lucky can still have pride in themselves and also be genuine with their feelings for their loved partner.

Thanks for your comments, Philip, and I agree. That's why I'm content to just "wait and see". I always try to think the best of a person, rather than the worst, and try to help others rather than hinder them. That philosophy has served me quite well up to now, although helping others is only good as long as they're prepared to help themselves.

Ken

[jbt]

I just want to say something about people commenting on those who need monetary help and having pride etc.

Just because someone asks for money does not mean they are necessarily a scammer or a hooker or that there isn't genuine love etc, everyones situations are different!

I supported Tonet from when we first met online till she was able to come here and get her own job. I was very happy to do so and here we are still together 4 years later and with our first wedding anniversary under our belts.

Those who have managed to get by without the support of your bf/husband are lucky to be able to do so, that's good for you! Those that aren't so lucky can still have pride in themselves and also be genuine with their feelings for their loved partner.

I agree

[maria_and_matt]

hi ken, relationships like this is hard, but being a filipina myself i would never ever dream of asking any kind of monetary support from a bf. she has in the past managed without you so why start relying on you now. i can tell you are a very decent guy, i think you deserve better. goodluck to you ken hope things work out for you. godbless!

[kencornish]

hi ken, relationships like this is hard, but being a filipina myself i would never ever dream of asking any kind of monetary support from a bf. she has in the past managed without you so why start relying on you now. i can tell you are a very decent guy, i think you deserve better. goodluck to you ken hope things work out for you. godbless!

Thanks for the compliment and, yes, I consider myself a decent guy.. also too open and honest for my own good. My passion is to help people from the benefit of my own mistakes. Maybe this will turn out to provide more grist to the mill. I'm sure M will manage quite well without further help from me. The cash I sent was collected just a few minutes after 0500 RP time today, without any form of acknowledgement. But I know that could be just cos power is down. At least that's usually the answer, but I've long since thought it can also make for a good excuse.

Ken