Personally, I believe that the only way round it is to set an affordable amount that you will send per month and stick to it and then when emergency requests come along, they should be considered firstly by affordability and then on merit . We send support now on a monthly basis. I suspect that the reason the money ran out well before we were due to send more is because the extended family always come to them first for every family emergency because they know that their daughter is married to a Brit and is living in the UK. - IAIANBUSBY
I also believe, it helps when you give them the same amount each month. Send them in monthly basis so they know how to manage it properly. They will also know when you will send it and what you can afford . Thru these, they won’t be asking from you every now and then, making stories, alibies just for you to send the money. In your part, you will know how much you will need to set aside for them, for your groceries, other household expenses, extra luxuries and savings. You will also help them not to become “One day millionaire and forever a pauper.” Plus will give you&your hubby a peace of mind.
giving money for the wrong reasons can destroy peoples lifes like others say by making them dependant on the money.- ANDYPAUL
Very well said indeed!
you also deserve to save a bit of what you earn for yourself, but we should also realize when to stop, we filipinas married to brits should not put our family here in a position where we don't have money for our own needs.– MARIA&MATT
You have worked very hard and you must be the first person to enjoy the fruits of your labour. You have earned it so give something back to yourself. Huwag lang sila palagi. Respect yourself. Love yourself. By doing these things, you’ll feel great and you won’t feel tired of helping them. (But of course know your limits)
My brother once said, the reason why Filipinos are not progressing because we were raised to give something back to our parents (Sustento). And in other rich countries like UK, kids will have inheritance from their parent which is completely opposite to our culture. Which is PAY IT FORWARD THAN GIVE SOMETHING BACK.
Yes, we owe them our life but sometimes WE have to learn how to say NO and when to stop before things are out of hands.
According to Jose Rizal our national hero:
Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makararating sa parorounan.
(Knowing your past will provide you direction to the future.)
But my dad’s version:
You’ll never be able to go to your destination if you keep looking your back. Baka matisod ka. (you might tripped off) Hehe
Forgive me, for I don’t know how to multi-quote huhuhu, ive been a forum member for almost 2 yrs now but a noob! Doh!
