gone silent

[Ako Si Jamie]

If you are on about my situation still and not blackcatbones then I too lost everything but my home.
The biggest lost for me was emotional and the worry of no contact for the 4 months.
I now know her family told me lies to cover up for her while she was with her boyfriend straight after we married.

She had a baby by him, then came to the UK just so she could work and send money home.

I had already helped the family a lot, including money for operations on her siblings
(Yes the treatment was/is necessary I saw it with my own eyes)

I then went through around 13 months of hell with different excuses why the visa was taking so long, I was going to visit again but she said not to as we would soon be together, she did not want me to visit because she was pregnant.

Looking back now I was stupid to be taken in, but I loved her and we were then married and I could not understand why we could not be together!
Mick.

I think most of us blokes get taken in by a woman at some point in our lives because we go with our hearts and not with our heads. Easy thing to happen.

[joebloggs]

I think most of us blokes get taken in by a woman at some point in our lives because we go with our hearts and not with our heads. Easy thing to happen.

not women, but liars, cheats or scammers, men or women

[Terpe]

......because we go with our hearts and not with our heads. Easy thing to happen.

This is so true, especially for me.
It's so easy to tell others what they must or must not do when we have no emotional investment. We all do it.
By the same token, we all learn our best lessons from our mistakes and failures in the past.
One thing I've learned, is understanding what I WILL do by finding out what I WILL NOT do.
And I will not give up trying to achieve compassion, calmness and a warm heart.

So looks like I'm setting myself up again

[Ako Si Jamie]

This is so true, especially for me.
It's so easy to tell others what they must or must not do when we have no emotional investment. We all do it.
By the same token, we all learn our best lessons from our mistakes and failures in the past.
One thing I've learned, is understanding what I WILL do by finding out what I WILL NOT do.
And I will not give up trying to achieve compassion, calmness and a warm heart.

So looks like I'm setting myself up again

I'll be the first to admit I was a big soft apeth towards women in my younger days but since being hurt a couple of times I said to myself I'd only show that side to a woman until I see her cards first.

Like you correctly said, it's about learning from your mistakes but some don't and create a rod for their own backs by going round in circles.

But we're all guilty of focusing on the book cover and not the content.