Totally agreeOriginally Posted by Steve.r
On the flipside, a beautiful and passionate filipina partner is enough to make any man of any age feeling full of vigor and young also...the same can be said for the reverse...you could be married (many years later, what is it with miserable women and advancing years?) to the most miserable bitch the Good Lord gave breath to. Having the opposite consequences as Steve's example.
My role model:
.
One is enough...
.
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...cos more than one can be exhausting:
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Good one!
At the first modern Olympic Games in Athens 1896, no women competed, as de Coubertin felt that their inclusion would be "impractical, uninteresting, unaesthetic, and incorrect."
Why?
In 1928, women competed in track and field events for the first time; however, so many collapsed at the end of the 800-meter race that the event was banned until 1960.
Why?
I may have missed something here...what on earth has swimming and the olympics got to do with this 'Age gap' thread
I'll tell you later....memory not too good at my age.
You obviously cant see the connection.....I may have missed something here...what on earth has swimming and the olympics got to do with this 'Age gap' thread
Their high heels weren't mechanically efficient?
Their high heels weren't mechanically efficient?
Well, how were they going to finish the housework ?
The connection is within the link below....
"Personal morals are like inner voice, it provides direction in life, decides what is good and bad, and directs a person to adopt certain attitudes. Our perception of what is good and bad gets reinforced based on what morals we adhere and carry in life. These moral values are derived from our spiritual conditioning and upbringing. Morality is often distinguished from etiquette, law, and religion; all of which involve some sort of codes of conduct put forward by a society. While moral values are mostly advocated by various societies and religions so that people living in that society or practicing the particular religion adheres to these values, but more important is our personal moral values that guide us through the journey of life."
http://www.helium.com/items/1929400-...hange-attitude
"A self-righteous moral attitude and its effect on our perspective of the people around us are profound: so much that it often serves to pit people against each other. It has divided whole nations, as well. As human beings, many people tend to view or judge others, based on their own moral standards. That mode of thinking is a discriminatory drawback."
http://www.helium.com/items/1253747-...moral-attitude
Jeez Lastlid, you got too much time on your hands
I just like fit young birds.
Well yes, that's why I posted what I posted
Aah, to have the time to ponder such thoughts or rather, give the search engine a good hammering.
Well, on age gaps, it's like this..........
"Average" age gaps in say the UK, it's 2-5 years at most. This isn't accident, it's a trend. The reasons are obvious - they aren't just partners, they are best friends, they by being almost the same age will have shared experiences, they will both know who Duran Duran are, will both be able to joke about Chopper bikes etc, will both have maybe been in Malia in 92'.
There is a good chance they met at a really young age in school. Let's be frank, aged 16 or 17, a larger age gap would be plain freaky.
So then, when we are older, if we meet when we are older then there is more chance of that age gap being wider. It's down to ratios, a 2 year age gap aged 15 is huge, in our 30's it's absolutely nothing, a 10 year gap means little in our 30's.
However, get a big age gap, and it can potentially lead to issues later. Say a 40 year, well we all hope we will be healthy pensioners, but unfortunately this doesn't always happen. I have met people in their 80's who have lost some memory, who are incontinent, who need a lot of care. Well what if their age gap is 40 years? He or she would be a young 40 still wanting to go out......................and if their partner is.......sorry....... a slobbering wreck of their former self, how can that be an equal partnership?
Yes I could name a man I know in his 90's mind razor sharp, swims every day........it's the luck of the draw.
I really hope I will never end up like that - don't we all - but there is a chance I might, none of us know. I could not inflict that on my partner.
With my partner, we have a 15 year gap, and when we were first introduced, I didn't realise this, maybe I wouldn't have got to know her if I knew. I am a little sensitive about it.
There is something else though that has to be considered - relevant to the sort of forum this is - and that's for various reasons, many asian ladies don't like partners the same age, and seek ones a bit older.
It's not always the case, but I found this in Thailand, and my partner and her friends have told me it's often the case with Phils ladies, they see an older man as less likely to be foolish, play around, and will look after her.
What it all comes down to is, it is the love between those couples that matters, and the sort of relationship they both want and will make work. They might not want to be talking about the 80's and 90's rave scene.
It's not really anyones business what someone chooses to be their partner. I am sorry but I don't see HUGE age gaps as a good thing, simply because, firstly there will not be that shared experience, but maybe mainly because we all get old one day, and then the relationship isn't going to be an equal partnership anymore. Of course it can work, but it could end up with the younger party resentful and unhappy at their life.
To put another perspective on this, if my 18 year old daughter wanted to shack up with a 35 or 40 year old, then to say I would be angry would be an understatement. I would have some very uncomfortable questions for him!!
If a 40 year old male friend of mine shacked up with an 18 year old, then the drinks would be lined up, we'd be carrying him shoulder high, he would be "da man".......yes guys can be pretty shallow huh.
Sorry if I'm peeing on anyone's bonfire here. I don't EVER look down or judge on any relationship until I know them, and I certainly do not dislike them for it. What is right for me is not right for everyone.
Are we forgetting that there are normally TWO people involved ?
So, unless we're kidnapping and brainwashing the poor woman.
"Kidnapping and brainwashing" - perhaps not, but very possibly exploiting a huge difference in knowledge of the ways of the world, in education, and above all in wealth, which can come pretty close to "kidnapping and brainwashing".
Just "helping yourself to the goodies available" does not begin to cut it as an attitude to people from poorer countries in general, and emphatically it is no basis for a relationship based on mutual love and trust, which we are told is what marriage ought to be.
Offer a young woman a way out of a predicament that she is in, for whatever reason, and she may well decide that its the best option for her without thinking all the way through to the consequences. She will have ample time to reflect on her position, later, and if she should come to feel that she has been short changed, which she very well may, she may choose to strike out on her own, at which time the husband who took advantage of her situation may have become dependent on her.
I thought Iani's post was excellent.
I think that sums it up completely.To put another perspective on this, if my 18 year old daughter wanted to shack up with a 35 or 40 year old, then to say I would be angry would be an understatement. I would have some very uncomfortable questions for him!!
If a 40 year old male friend of mine shacked up with an 18 year old, then the drinks would be lined up, we'd be carrying him shoulder high, he would be "da man".......yes guys can be pretty shallow huh.
Noooo no-one get me wrong here, this is purely MY own thought on the matter. Of course a big age gap can work, of course a 50 year old CAN end up quite happy with a 20 year old, but really, there are unfortunately more possible pitfalls to such a relationship, and both parties must go into it fully aware.
I do not look down, dislike or have any bad feelings towards any guy in his 50's or whatever who has pulled a 20-something..............I don't think any man in history has ever hated another guy for pulling a cracker
I see the point you are making Ian...what I dont understand, is why you are hooked up with someone 15yrs your junior...surely you are contradicting yourself....I haven't seen any filipina looking older than her years before.
We have said in previous posts about making the English Filipino father comparison..totally different outlooks.
So, what's the difference between a 20 and 40 year age gap?...age isn't the only precursor to illnesses..it can strike anyone at anytime.
Presumptions are being made about the young wife and how she will feel in the years to come....you and others are thinking as if she's a westerner...
I am not thinking as if she is a westerner. I was trying to point out that ones moral compass, beliefs, experience, religion etc etc etc affect what any individual thinks is acceptable. What is acceptable / unacceptable depends on a lot of factors including country of origin, place in time etc.
Neither am I saying that it is either acceptable or unacceptable but I am recognising that acceptability is a moving target.
To use a topical analogy. Fanny Blankers-Koen took a lot of stick when she ran in the Olympics. Many said she should have stayed at home looking after the kids. That was the overriding opinion of the day. Was that opinion correct?
Many would have said yes then , but not now.
So, back to large age gap relationships......
Anybody looked up Henry the 8ths wives? Note the age gap between him and Catherine Howard. Was that acceptable? If you said no you got your head lopped off.......
So did she... after she got bored with her old husband and took a lover her own age.Anybody looked up Henry the 8ths wives? Note the age gap between him and Catherine Howard. Was that acceptable? If you said no you got your head lopped off.......
I'll rise to that one - I have spent most of my working life in East Asia - Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, the Philippines and Mainland China.
To be perfectly honest, I can't detect any real difference between easterners and westerners.
OI!!
I said I was sensitive about it
15 years isn't the biggest of gaps and we are very compatible. That's all I'm saying.
Don't get me wrong here, deep down I really couldn't care less about someone else's relationship. As long as it is on a mutually equal respect of each other, and there isn't some sort of power game involved, then it's all good.............and that goes for any relationship.
Unfortunately, I can only think "as if she is a westerner", because that's my background and I can't compare to anything else.
Exactly. Emphasis mine.OI!!
I said I was sensitive about it
15 years isn't the biggest of gaps and we are very compatible. That's all I'm saying.
Don't get me wrong here, deep down I really couldn't care less about someone else's relationship. As long as it is on a mutually equal respect of each other, and there isn't some sort of power game involved, then it's all good.............and that goes for any relationship.
Unfortunately, I can only think "as if she is a westerner", because that's my background and I can't compare to anything else.
If both of you two get on good then age has nothing to do with itHello! I am 19 years old and in a very loving and happy relationship with a 48 year old man. We've been together for few months now. It wasn't always easy (just like any relationship), but we've stuck together and got through the rough patches, and now it has evolved into a very stable, committed, and caring relationship. We are starting to (seriously) talk about marriage and children!
Whenever I think about our large age difference being abnormal or strange, I just think about how I see all of these "normal" couples around me, who feign happiness and stability, only to find out that, behind the curtains, they are really miserable, separating, cheating on their spouses, etc. My conclusion is, if your happy, that's all that matters -- not your age!
I must say i really enjoyed my time in leyte
Ormoc and Tacloban are great cities
Last edited by raynaputi; 13th October 2012 at 17:37.
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