Farting

[malchard888]

I could not spell flatchewlance and Ems had never heard of that word too, so she could not spell it

If you used the rhyming slang term "jam Tart" maybe those more sensitive chaps in this forum who have maybe led a sheltered life wouldn't feel so offended hehe

[stevewool]

Did not think of that, JAM TART, sounds good taste great too, but will they make your FART smell better, oops jam tart I mean

[stevewool]

if you used the rhyming slang term "jam Tart" maybe those more sensitive chaps in this forum who have maybe led a sheltered life wouldn't feel so offended hehe

Could I use LEMON CURD

[malchard888]

Could I use LEMON CURD

That's the follow through Steve

[stevewool]

So what I should have said then is,

"The other day I drank some Acker Bilk and ate some bended knees followed by a slice of Doctor Crippen. I then felt unwell and did a jam tart and then I went to the loo and had a lemon curd".

[malchard888]

So what I should have said then is,

"The other day I drank some Acker Bilk and ate some bended knees followed by a slice of Doctor Crippen. I then felt unwell and did a jam tart and then I went to the loo and had a lemon curd".

Exactly, so nobody could surely take offence at such innocent comments

[Arthur Little]

far too prim and proper !

... or ...

... fart too much of a popper and grim!

[Arthur Little]

Could I use LEMON CURD

Certainly it would move things a stage further ... rhyming - as it does - with turd!

[grahamw48]

You giving this thread second wind Arthur ?

[Arthur Little]

LAVATORIAL HABITS

Where d'you start?
When describing a fart?
Fart is a *"pump"
Crap ... a 'dump'
Each is the same
With another name
Just a diff'rent word
Referring to a turd!

*FOOTNOTE: Pump was the rather refined expression my mum & dad taught my brother and I to use when we were being toilet~trained.

[imagine]

wwoooooohhh it stinks in here , who did it

[Michael Parnham]

What my point was, is that there are better ways of putting things on the Forum, for instance if you want to swear use Blooming heck or Kinell, don't use words that can offend some people and I'm sure that some on here will be rather embarrassed when one uses strong slang. I may be old fashioned but I'm careful to select my words rather than upset anyone, it was the way I was brought up so sorry if some don't like my opinion!

[Ako Si Jamie]

This thread is now officially the most popular thread of the week and that's no guff.

[stevewool]

Do i get a present, and dont say a jam tart

[stevewool]

Like many good post , it starts with a question, some people respond, some just ignore it and others pass though,
Very few threads are meant to annoy people but some can take it the wrong way, but its all done to make people think about life.
Like i have said before if i dont find the thread interesting i dont respond to it and i can tell you there are a few of those around, but if its interesting i shall do my best to reply

[Ako Si Jamie]

Do i get a present, and dont say a jam tart

[Ako Si Jamie]

What my point was, is that there are better ways of putting things on the Forum, for instance if you want to swear use Blooming heck or Kinell, don't use words that can offend some people and I'm sure that some on here will be rather embarrassed when one uses strong slang. I may be old fashioned but I'm careful to select my words rather than upset anyone, it was the way I was brought up so sorry if some don't like my opinion!

That's what forums are about - opinions - and everyone's entitled to have theirs. Some you agree with and some you don't but I suppose if everyone agreed on the same subject all the time, forums wouldn't be as interesting.

[Arthur Little]

Hmm ... notice Dedworth is conspicuous by his lack of comment on this thread. ... wonder if he farts?

[grahamw48]

[grahamw48]

.

[Ako Si Jamie]

That's the trouble with wearing white - can't hide the stains.

[stevewool]

these were so funny

[stevewool]

Hmm ... notice Dedworth is conspicuous by his lack of comment on this thread. ... wonder if he farts?

ARTHUR, ARTHUR, ARTHUR JAM TARTS, you should say

[stevewool]

Oh DEAR, thats a lemon curd I would say

[cheekee]

O DEAR, thats a lemon curd i would say

There you go. As I said everyone had gambled on a fart and lost.

He he.

[malchard888]

Hmm ... notice Dedworth is conspicuous by his lack of comment on this thread. ... wonder if he farts?

:
Maybe in truth hes the sensitive retiring type and cant bear to read all the rude comments that this thread has so far generated

[grahamw48]

Strange that he hasn't got wind of it...or maybe just let it pass.

[grahamw48]

I was in a cafe this evening, when I suddenly realised I needed to pass wind.
The music was really really loud, so I timed it with the beats.
After a few songs I started to feel better.
After I finished my coffee I noticed that everyone was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my music on my iPod.

[cheekee]

I was in a cafe this evening, when I suddenly realised I needed to pass wind.
The music was really really loud, so I timed it with the beats.
After a few songs I started to feel better.
After I finished my coffee I noticed that everyone was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my music on my iPod.

[Arthur Little]

I was in a cafe this evening, when I suddenly realised I needed to pass wind.
The music was really really loud, so I timed it with the beats.

... musical farts.